DCG Refuses To Talk To Me

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

She is 4 and has been with me since September.

She just has this attitude that she doesnt need to give me the time of day.

She acts like she is too good for me and will never answer me when I talk to her.

The only time she says something to me is at snack/lunch.

I WANT A DRINK. No please, no may I have a..... it's always a demand.

She always says yuck, to everything i make. says its gross or stinks.

She talks to everyone else in the house. I might add that her brother (6)comes here too and he is pretty good, kinda ocd about his food but at least he says hi and talks to me.

Should I just ignore it or am I acting like a child about this?


Oh I might add that when she wants me to hang up her jacket or do something for her she just throws it at me and expects me to deal with it.

I am finding her to be extreamly rude and snotty.

[hpresley86]

I am not experienced as far as day care kids go, but as a personal motherly experience, do you correct her? My 3 yo son is bad about demanding things, when he does, I correct him, and make him request appropriately before I do it.

Such as: He says-I say

Get me a drink!-"No, you ask, mommy will you please get me a drink?"

I want to watch TV-"May I watch TV"

I always am sure to tell him, you dont talk to mommy that way, if you want something you ask politely, and I make him ask politely before he gets it!

[bunnyslippers]

I may sound like a meanie here, but that would not fly in my house. If you are in my home, you will treat everyone with respect or you will have very little fun in your day.

No please, no thankyou = no lunch, no snack (never had a child miss a meal yet)

Throw a coat at me = you will be sitting with that coat until you choose to hang it up yourself or use nice manners

Insult my food = sitting at a separate table from everyone else

Not answering my questions or ignoring me = no activities until you choose to treat me nicely. I have no problem with a child missing an activity until she can follow my easy, clear cut rules and expectations.

I would not put up with it, and I would enforce consequences at every instance. Neutral, clear consequences. I can't stand rude children, and have very little patience for snotty kids who treat me, or anyone else, disrespectfully.

[Blackcat31]

I may sound like a meanie here, but that would not fly in my house. If you are in my home, you will treat everyone with respect or you will have very little fun in your day.

No please, no thankyou = no lunch, no snack (never had a child miss a meal yet)

Throw a coat at me = you will be sitting with that coat until you choose to hang it up yourself or use nice manners

Insult my food = sitting at a separate table from everyone else

Not answering my questions or ignoring me = no activities until you choose to treat me nicely. I have no problem with a child missing an activity until she can follow my easy, clear cut rules and expectations.

I would not put up with it, and I would enforce consequences at every instance. Neutral, clear consequences. I can't stand rude children, and have very little patience for snotty kids who treat me, or anyone else, disrespectfully.

This child is doing this because she can. She is getting attention for this type of behavior somewhere (not saying at daycare) and it wouldn't fly here either.

I am a meanie just like bunnyslippers and would do exactly as she said she would.

[MrsB]

I may sound like a meanie here, but that would not fly in my house. If you are in my home, you will treat everyone with respect or you will have very little fun in your day.

No please, no thankyou = no lunch, no snack (never had a child miss a meal yet)

Throw a coat at me = you will be sitting with that coat until you choose to hang it up yourself or use nice manners

Insult my food = sitting at a separate table from everyone else

Not answering my questions or ignoring me = no activities until you choose to treat me nicely. I have no problem with a child missing an activity until she can follow my easy, clear cut rules and expectations.

I would not put up with it, and I would enforce consequences at every instance. Neutral, clear consequences. I can't stand rude children, and have very little patience for snotty kids who treat me, or anyone else, disrespectfully.

I am with blackcat and bunnyslippers all the way!

In fact, yesterday I had a DCG (3yrs) sit on the thinking chair for 3 hours until she made the right choice to say "Mrs B will you PLEASE help me put on my shoes" She missed almost all of our outdoor time yesterday. Including our pic-nic snack, pulling the weeds in the garden, tilling it, finger painting. Granted she is one of the more headstrong ones I have had. Usually it never takes that long.

I put the thinking chair in the doorway where I could see her while we were oustide and I gave her shoes. She sat there for the 1st half hour whining that she needed her shoes on, the next hour and a half was spent just sitting there, the last hour was spent trying to put her shoes on herself and then came the "Pleeeeease". Phewwwww!

[Heidi]

I am with blackcat and bunnyslippers all the way!

In fact, yesterday I had a DCG (3yrs) sit on the thinking chair for 3 hours until she made the right choice to say "Mrs B will you PLEASE help me put on my shoes" She missed almost all of our outdoor time yesterday. Including our pic-nic snack, pulling the weeds in the garden, tilling it, finger painting. Granted she is one of the more headstrong ones I have had. Usually it never takes that long.

I put the thinking chair in the doorway where I could see her while we were oustide and I gave her shoes. She sat there for the 1st half hour whining that she needed her shoes on, the next hour and a half was spent just sitting there, the last hour was spent trying to put her shoes on herself and then came the "Pleeeeease". Phewwwww!

Oooh...your a toughie! I don't know if I could have made it 3 hours! Glad no one has ever tested me that long!

I agree with the other ladies, though. I would NOT let her treat me like that. I have a 3 1/2 yo dcg that tries it now and then, though. It doesn't really work for her on me, but I notice mom took of her shoes again this a.m.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

No way would I let a DCK treat me like that. My biggest DCK petpeeve is rude kids.
I have had a DCK who, when they did not get their way, would ignore me. Beyond rude and obnoxious!
I would simply tell them when they were ready they could come and tell me their answer etc and just let them sit where ever they were.

[AfterSchoolMom]

In absolute agreement with Bunnyslippers!!! I had one once that did that to me - thankfully it was a temporary situation (a drop in). I just told her that if she didn't tell me what she wanted or speak when spoken to, then she'd have a very boring day and would get nothing. We happened to be eating lunch at McDonalds that day.... shockingly, she recovered her speech and manners very quickly.

[Bookworm]

No way would I let a DCK treat me like that. My biggest DCK petpeeve is rude kids.
I have had a DCK who, when they did not get their way, would ignore me. Beyond rude and obnoxious!
I would simply tell them when they were ready they could come and tell me their answer etc and just let them sit where ever they were.

I'm with you. That is one of biggest pet peeves. I simply tell them to leave the attitude at the door when they come in. If they refuse, then they have to sit away from the group until the attitude improves. I have had many kids miss fun activities because of a battle of wills. You would think they would figure out that they can't win.

[Hunni Bee]

THIS. This is why I can't wait to be with center based care and move to home based.

I would love to do what you ladies do in these situations. Not because I want to be mean, but because these are the best ways to train children. You have a bad attitude, you get nothing. You make bad choices, you get bad results. You can't get along with the group, you go away from the group til you can.

This "child centered" approach I have to take would tell me to beg the child, give them a million choices, one on one them to death, and let them have their.way. It doesn't teach them a thing about the real world and how to behave, and wastes a ton of time.

Don't get me wrong, I do use and like a lot of their strategies, but the discipline parts are way off target, in my opinion.

[daycare]

Wow hunni Bee that would drive me up a wall.

I am with everyone else too....NO way hommie don't play that... I love that saying, ok makes me feel american... and stupid....::


I don't battle children and I don't give in. My motto children who don't listen, don't get to have any fun. If she was listening to me, I could care less if she talked to me. I love silence... But she sure would miss out on all the fun....

[cheerfuldom]

Wow hunni Bee that would drive me up a wall.

I am with everyone else too....NO way hommie don't play that... I love that saying, ok makes me feel american... and stupid....::


I don't battle children and I don't give in. My motto children who don't listen, don't get to have any fun. If she was listening to me, I could care less if she talked to me. I love silence... But she sure would miss out on all the fun....

ha ha, cute quote, you are definitely an American now

[daycare]

ha ha, cute quote, you are definitely an American now

awe thanks....it really embarrasses my older two teens when I say it.,... They say MOM PLEASE DONT.........

[MrsB]

Oooh...your a toughie! I don't know if I could have made it 3 hours! Glad no one has ever tested me that long!

I agree with the other ladies, though. I would NOT let her treat me like that. I have a 3 1/2 yo dcg that tries it now and then, though. It doesn't really work for her on me, but I notice mom took of her shoes again this a.m.

Oh I almost cracked about every 15 minutes. Then I realized I was not punishing her. To go out to play we need shoes on. I gave her 2 choices. Put the shoes on herself or say please if she needed my assitance. The rest of it was on her.

By the way, our conversation at outdoor play time today.

Her - I dont think I need the thinking chair today. Will you help me put my shoes on
Me - I'd be happy to help if you ask please
Her - Pretty Please
Me - Yes I will. High 5. Your choices today make me smile! We really missed you playing with us yesterday!

Then she let out that lovely kid giggle they do when they are tickled with themselves.happyface

[daycare]

Oh I almost cracked about every 15 minutes. Then I realized I was not punishing her. To go out to play we need shoes on. I gave her 2 choices. Put the shoes on herself or say please if she needed my assitance. The rest of it was on her.

By the way, our conversation at outdoor play time today.

Her - I dont think I need the thinking chair today. Will you help me put my shoes on
Me - I'd be happy to help if you ask please
Her - Pretty Please
Me - Yes I will. High 5. Your choices today make me smile! We really missed you playing with us yesterday!

Then she let out that lovely kid giggle they do when they are tickled with themselves.happyface

awe that is sooo cute.