HELP 4 1/2 Yr Old In Diapers No End In Sight!

[Unregistered]

From a stay at home mom

I know this post I old ... but gees you all talk so horriable about the parents and just assume it's their fault and that they are lazy if the kids aren't potty trained. That's so not true.. my daughter is four and I am a stay at home mom and have tried EVERYTHINg .. read her potty books, let her go diaperless, bribe her, get her new underwear, even brought her around to pre k schools to show her where she will get to go if she uses the potty everyday. She just says it's too scary and she won't go , she's very stubborn. If you are too disgusted to change a 4 1/2 year olds diaper than go find another job . All you are going to do is make the little girl more scared to potty train.

[ColorfulSunburst]

If you are too disgusted to change a 4 1/2 year olds diaper than go find another job .

It is not my work to change diapers for 4 1/2 yo and parents learn it during interviews. But if they want I can do it for an extra cost. Maybe...
And yes changing diapers is not enjoyable, especially if a child is so big

[Ariana]

I know this post I old ... but gees you all talk so horriable about the parents and just assume it's their fault and that they are lazy if the kids aren't potty trained. That's so not true.. my daughter is four and I am a stay at home mom and have tried EVERYTHINg .. read her potty books, let her go diaperless, bribe her, get her new underwear, even brought her around to pre k schools to show her where she will get to go if she uses the potty everyday. She just says it's too scary and she won't go , she's very stubborn. If you are too disgusted to change a 4 1/2 year olds diaper than go find another job . All you are going to do is make the little girl more scared to potty train.

I am also a work at home mom and have a 4 yr old who refuses to poo on the potty. She literally has no idea that she has pooped. Sometimes she will tell me she has pooped when she hasn't and will tell me she hasn't when she has.

I still understand where the DCP are coming from because sometimes it is the parents fault. Sometimes it isn't. If my child was in care and my DCP told me to do XYZ to get my child trained I would do it (I have asked on here and used the advice to no avail!). At least then the DCP can say that the parents is not lazy and has literally tried everything.

Anyway old post but.....

[daycarediva]

I know this post I old ... but gees you all talk so horriable about the parents and just assume it's their fault and that they are lazy if the kids aren't potty trained. That's so not true.. my daughter is four and I am a stay at home mom and have tried EVERYTHINg .. read her potty books, let her go diaperless, bribe her, get her new underwear, even brought her around to pre k schools to show her where she will get to go if she uses the potty everyday. She just says it's too scary and she won't go , she's very stubborn. If you are too disgusted to change a 4 1/2 year olds diaper than go find another job . All you are going to do is make the little girl more scared to potty train.

Maybe you find it less disgusting because it's your own child or you're accustomed to changing her at that age? I find all poopy diapers disgusting because it IS gross. I don't want to hear that 'oh you chose this job' line. DUH. But poopy diapers are definietely a con, and from a 4.5yo, they're definitely out of the line of normal in this field. I didn't 'sign up' for that.

To be enrolled in my program, all incoming children have to be trained if older than 3, and if previously enrolled and not trained BY 3, there needs to be a note on file from the pediatrician explaining his/her approach to training and/or reasons for a delay.

When I can have full back and forth conversations with a child while I am wiping their butt, it DOES make me very uncomfortable. At the same time as potty-training, I teach my littles about private areas, and what IS/IS NOT ok for a teacher to do.

When I had a potty training 4.5 yo, the 3yo would be saying "Miss, YOU NOT SPOSED TO TOUCH HIS PRIVATES! HE NOT A BABY! MISS TOUCHED HIS PRIVATES!" Do you have any idea what a false accusation that could have ended with? It wouldn't even need to be substantiated to cost me not only the career in my chosen field, but ruined my reputation, my life, my families lives, and possibly my freedom.

If at 4 years old, your child is still not potty trained, you need to seek a pediatrician's advice. This is simply beyond the 'normal' range for a neuro-typical child.

My advice- once you go to underwear, you don't go back- you just gave in to your child. Barring a medical reason, she is more than capable of physically holding her bowel and bladder and verbally capable of expressing her need to use the restroom.

Underwear, she cleans up as much as she can every time she has an accident. If you are 100% consistent- REGARDLESS of how long it takes to get it done, she WILL train.

Yes, I have had kids delayed for reasons- medical, developmental.

Yes I have had kids delayed for parent laziness. At 4, I have had parents not even TRY to potty train because diapers are easier. That pretty much sums up parent laziness.

[debbiedoeszip]

I have tried everything to get a 4 1/2 yr old out of diapers (and 3 yr old boy). Sometimes we get lucky I just happen to get her on the potty but it's just luck she will not ever tell me when she has to go!! She will sit in a diaper full of poop and tell me she didn't poop that it was her brother, he in turn does the same so I have to go around looking down everyones pants and it's just getting very frustrating! I can't keep running them up the steps every 30 mins to an hour. I just dont have time, plus everyone has to go... What can I do? It's like they don't know they have a load of crap or wet diaper at all! I know part of the reason may be because they are so used to sitting in it at home BUT this has got to change here! I have been working with them for over a year now! 4 1/2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy. I am getting disgusted changing such a big girls diapers! It's not normal to me. She looks like she could be in kindergarten and it's just really bothering me to change her diapers and wipe her down!! Has anyone encountered this type of problem what do you do?

I go over the routine every day, many times a day, and EVERY time I find a wet diaper. I ask where they are supposed to go. They will say in potty. I ask if they forget or have an accident what do they do they will say tell sally. So I assume they know it and understand so why? Dear God give me the knowlege WHY? When I ask why they just shrug their shoulders. (they do this to 90% of questions here) I tell them use your words don't shrug. Then they just stand and stare at me with NO response like I'm not even talking to them.

I pray all the time I can beat this and NOTHING works! They only stay dry if I constantly run them upstairs. I can't do it any longer I'm literally in pain from a dozen potty trips already today! I'm about to rip my hair out or scream!

I'd say that she isn't ready to potty train and neither is her brother (for whatever reason). Age is just a number, and if you were describing the behaviour of a newly turned 2 yo then you wouldn't even be trying to potty train at this point.

Stop trying. Pretend that she (and her brother) has just turned 2 and proceed like you would normally. Has mom consulted with a doctor re: lack of potty training? That may be the best thing to do at this point.

[Unregistered]

Old post but...

I know this is an old post BUT I came across it while trying to research on what in the world else I can do to help my son. He is 4 1/2 years old and not yet potty trained. I have tried everything. Everything you all have posted on here I have tried and he is just so incredibly stubborn. I was honestly disgusted with the way that you all are talking about the parents of these children. Yeah I'm sure there are instances where the parents are lazy of course, but that is not the case all the time. I could not imagine seeing someone I entrust my child with post some of the things you all have. So discouraging and disgusting.

[Former Teacher]

I know this is an old post BUT I came across it while trying to research on what in the world else I can do to help my son. He is 4 1/2 years old and not yet potty trained. I have tried everything. Everything you all have posted on here I have tried and he is just so incredibly stubborn. I was honestly disgusted with the way that you all are talking about the parents of these children. Yeah I'm sure there are instances where the parents are lazy of course, but that is not the case all the time. I could not imagine seeing someone I entrust my child with post some of the things you all have. So discouraging and disgusting.

::::::::::

[flying_babyb]

not sure if your parents would read a book BUT theres a great book called OH crap potty training. It goes over how to do it step by step using their simple method. I find that the parents who are struggling, tend to have at least more sucess when trying the books methods. Heck, I used stuff from it in my classroom!

[Unregistered]

::::::::::

class act

[Snowmom]

I know this is an old post BUT I came across it while trying to research on what in the world else I can do to help my son. He is 4 1/2 years old and not yet potty trained. I have tried everything. Everything you all have posted on here I have tried and he is just so incredibly stubborn. I was honestly disgusted with the way that you all are talking about the parents of these children. Yeah I'm sure there are instances where the parents are lazy of course, but that is not the case all the time. I could not imagine seeing someone I entrust my child with post some of the things you all have. So discouraging and disgusting.

I'm so confused.
The only "disgusting" comment that was made on this thread is a PARENT talking about punishing their OWN child for accidents.

If you find any of the PROVIDER comments "disgusting" then I'd love to hear why.

Also curious, how many of other people's children have you cared for? Have they all been rainbows and sunshine to deal with? Have they 100% taken responsibility for what needs to be done for their child?
Because I can tell you, every single one of us in this business has had to deal with the ones who DON'T and try to pass off that responsibility to the childcare provider.
In any forums or online groups, you are NOT going to find the every day success stories. You are going to hear the stories about the ones that are HARD. The ones who press our buttons and give us gray hair. The ones we need HELP with. You want a little compassion for your situation, maybe try giving some to those others who are also seeking help.

[Unregistered]

Im a Mother of 3 children Ages 5, 3 and a 1 year old. My 5 year old and 3 year old are still in diapers and gave up on potty training my 5 year old when he was 4 due to issues at home. He would take his pants off and crap on the bed, on the floor. He would Pee in the bush which daddy says is okay since he isn't peeing in the toilet quite yet. I don't agree with the bush i put him back in diapers. My responce to this lady is either take things away from them. have potty wars i am guess might be the best solution. You stick them with a Tv- a kiddy toilet in the bathroom and keep them in the bathroom even if its 12 hours long. Till they get used to it. My 3 year old is autistic so i wonder when he will potty train. I think my 5 year old likes that attention of getting his but wiped. My husband insist i spank him for pooping in his diaper and that he should be potty trained. i haven't gone that far. Although maybe its not a bad idea to re-inforce positive feedback. If he poops in his diaper he gets his but wiped down and then spanked maybe he will start doing big boy things and stop acting like a baby

I'm sorry but is your 5 year old in school? They don't even accept kids in Prek who aren't potty trained.

[Cat Herder]

I'm sorry but is your 5 year old in school? They don't even accept kids in Prek who aren't potty trained.

Her post was from 2016. Her oldest would be around 10, now.

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry but is your 5 year old in school? They don't even accept kids in Prek who aren't potty trained.

They do here. Kindy kids are allowed to attend school as well even if they aren't totally trained