Husbands and Childcare

[Country Kids]

OK, many of us have stayed home to raise our children and did childcare to help with the finances.

We have gone over many times about the pros/cons of doing childcare with having children and how they are effected by it.

How many of your husbands like/dislike the childcare and what are the reasons?

Mine likes it for the income and we have pretty much had great families.

Dislikes would be wear/tear on house, me being limited to days off, me relying on him alot to be able to run kids to appt., lots of housework every night/weekend. Also, I need things to run a certain way with having childcare here and I think it stresses him because things don't always go the way I need and I vent to him. Me being stressed alot stresses him, so I try not to say much to him but I've had some weekends that I just broke down and cried.

[littlemissmuffet]

Husband loves that I am home, do childcare... and loves the kids too! He is my PT assistant and he helps ALOT. It's always him who reminds me of the many positives to being a stay-at-home-childcare provider when I need a reminder. If he knows I'm having a horrible day for whatever reason, he'll stay home/come home and hold the fort down while I bath or have a nap to reset. I am very fortunate and grateful to have such a great man!

[daycare]

OK, many of us have stayed home to raise our children and did childcare to help with the finances.

We have gone over many times about the pros/cons of doing childcare with having children and how they are effected by it.

How many of your husbands like/dislike the childcare and what are the reasons?

Mine likes it for the income and we have pretty much had great families.

Dislikes would be wear/tear on house, me being limited to days off, me relying on him alot to be able to run kids to appt., lots of housework every night/weekend. Also, I need things to run a certain way with having childcare here and I think it stresses him because things don't always go the way I need and I vent to him. Me being stressed alot stresses him, so I try not to say much to him but I've had some weekends that I just broke down and cried.

My husband and older kids both have been a blessing with my childcare.

They have never said they dont like it, but I can tell that sometimes when my husband is off on a week day that it gets to him. I just ask him to have plans for those days. GO play golf, go to a friends house, run, work out, whatever he needs.

My older two enjoy the kids in the summer participating and they get paid by me when they do. It's never a JOB for any of them, it's my job.

My daughter loves it too, because she is 14 and very creative. She painted the walls for me, draws stuff for me and etc.

I have a book on my desk that outlines what needs to be done daily. to open and close the daycare. It also says how much I will pay them if they do it.

My kids will pick one to two of the items on the list each day and then I pay them. They love it. If they don't do it, that means that I have to, but then I dont have to pay them anything.

They take care of the normal parts of the house and this is without payment...

I think that my husband love it....so far no complaints

[Country Kids]

Husband loves that I am home, do childcare... and loves the kids too! He is my PT assistant and he helps ALOT. It's always him who reminds me of the many positives to being a stay-at-home-childcare provider when I need a reminder. If he knows I'm having a horrible day for whatever reason, he'll stay home/come home and hold the fort down while I bath or have a nap to reset. I am very fortunate and grateful to have such a great man!

My hubby has never had a job where he could just stay home/come home to help me with the childcare. You are very fortunate to have a hubby that can do that.

[Blackcat31]

My hubby has never had a job where he could just stay home/come home to help me with the childcare. You are very fortunate to have a hubby that can do that.

My DH works at home (he has a wood shop at our house) but I don't work at home...LOL!

DH comes into the daycare every day at lunch time and is 100% hands-on with lunch and rest time. As soon as all the kiddos are situated for naps/rest time, we eat lunch together and chat.

After that he heads home and gets back to whatever he has going on.

Because he is also self-employed, he is also always available for help when we do field trips or anything else that requires a 2nd adult or assistant.

Sometimes on his slow days, he will come in and just hang out and have fun with the DCK's as they lovethis him! (HE is defintely the fun guy here as I am a total rule follower....) I think it is great that he does this though as he is the only male influence some of my dck's have.

He 100% supports that I do child care because "how" I do it, has none of thenormal downfalls that most providers have. ie. house trashed, parents in and out of our home, etc etc.

I would think the only complaint he has ever had is that he has to take care of two homes. Repairs, lawn, plowing etc. And even then, he has actually NEVER complained about that...I just figure it adds to his work load and I feel bad sometimes.

[cheerfuldom]

Daycare originally caused a lot of strife between my husband and I. Basically, he thought that it would be an easy way for me to make money, take care of the kids and do all the housework during the day and then take on more in the evening so he could take a break. His expectations were very high and he had no clue what daycare parents would do to me, what the kids would do to the house and what sacrifices he would have to make (hearing kids screaming when he was home sick, toys all over the place and such). We are MUCH better now about the reality of home daycare and are both on the same page as far as me closing down as soon as possible. It was really hard there for awhile because he was making me feel lazy about not keeping up or not taking more kids and stupid for not being able to handle it all. Daycare is something we have had to do to make ends meet but definitely not our first choice. Now he is quick to give advice to other people considering it and quicker to see that I am doing A LOT. He hates when our SAHM mom friends complain about being busy and tired and makes me laugh as he details to them what all I have been doing for five years. total 180 turnaround.

[MarinaVanessa]

My DH likes that I am the one that gets to take care of our kids and he knows that they'll never be in better hands. He loves kids and the DC kids feel this I think because they love him so he likes coming home and being swarmed by all the little smiling faces. He also likes that I can make more money doing this than what I was making before when I was working management at a retail store. He loves that I have a Monday through Friday schedule and that even though I'm technically working, when he comes home at 4pm we can talk to each other about our days etc.

He doesn't like that he has to be careful and put everything away as he uses it like toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo etc. He also doesn't like that I leave the afternoon dishes until the end of the day to clean up. He hates having a sink full of dishes and ends up washing them for me . He doesn't really have any complaints, he helps me out a lot and will even take the day or afternoon off and watch the DC kids so that I can go to appointments and such instead of having to pay an assistant.

I hear a lot of stories in my area about unsupportive husbands, I don't know how I'd be able to do daycare without my DH's support and blessing.

[saved4always]

My husband doesn't like it cuz he says it makes me grouchy all the time. We don't really "need" the money so he has never insisted that I have a job, so I don't think it is worth it to him if I am a grouch (I think some of that has to do with peri-menopause, too, though ). I have done it more just to have extra money for non-needs. He did like it that I have been home when my kids got home from school which I would not have been if I had a job outside my home.

He is right...it does make me grouchy. I hate the wear and tear on my house and the kids coming in with boogers and coughs. That is why we both are excited that I will be working at my church's daycare soon. I can still make some extra money but I can do it someplace that is NOT my house and I should still usually be home in time for my youngest's bus (if not, a neighbor will take her til I get there).

[frugalmama4]

Good Thread!

I think it's both for my hubby..some days he loves the fact that I'm able to stay home...others not such much. I don't know how many times I have told him he would become the mobile parent i.e. (doctor appointments, earns, school meetings etc) before I started this. And since he's against having a assistant he has to be my back up when I'm sick and.or have an doctor appointment myself.

Honestly I know he loves the dck's he has a big heart when it comes to children...I just think sometimes it's hard for him to really be supportive because he's trying to start his own business "sports trainer" and things get a little green sometimes. But that's for another thread!

[Sugar Magnolia]

Country, my husband serves as teacher, janitor, storyteller, coach, Facility Manager (he cuts the lawn and all other maintenance of 100 year old building), Supply Manager (he does all the shopping), Musical Director (violin lessons), and about a thousand other things for fifty hours a week. Then we go home and he is head chef, dad to our boys, musician and husband. Thanks Country, for the opportunity to give him some props. I love him. :-)

[MizzCheryl]

1st husband hated it but what didn't he hate. He was a poopie head.

New hubbie is cool with it. Loves the kids. The kids Love him. But sometimes they talk his head off. He loves that wa can eat lunch together and drink a cup of coffe at nap time. He is wonderful.

[Oneluckymom]

My husband loves that I am doing daycare and encouraged "almost begged me to do it." We do need the extra money for a couple of years (he's working on a post graduate kinda thing). But he says after that its up to me if I wanna keep doing it I'm just gonna say I'll decide when I get there

However, I was always the one (SAHM) to do all the Dr. appts and running around, but my husband has really stepped in to fill that spot since I don't get paid when I close.lovethis

My kids are still little so some days they like it and some days they don't ( mostly when I'm about to go bonkers on a stressful day).

[DCBlessings27]

Husband

OK, many of us have stayed home to raise our children and did childcare to help with the finances.

We have gone over many times about the pros/cons of doing childcare with having children and how they are effected by it.

How many of your husbands like/dislike the childcare and what are the reasons?

Mine likes it for the income and we have pretty much had great families.

Dislikes would be wear/tear on house, me being limited to days off, me relying on him alot to be able to run kids to appt., lots of housework every night/weekend. Also, I need things to run a certain way with having childcare here and I think it stresses him because things don't always go the way I need and I vent to him. Me being stressed alot stresses him, so I try not to say much to him but I've had some weekends that I just broke down and cried.

My husband and I have had some learning curves throughout the 2.5 years since I started the daycare. I quit my teaching job, and I'd been making more than he was at the time so we started the daycare to help pay bills. Finally, dh is making enough that we'd be able to pay the bills without my income but not have any extras. So, I continue the daycare to have some luxuries. Our other issue was that we started with the daycare in our living room. Dh was miserable because his living room was cluttered with toys, and he felt as if he had no space. We never really used our large dining room and have a breakfast nook area in our kitchen large enough for our table, so we converted the dining room into the daycare play area. That freed the living room up so that dh is happy.

Likes: That dd loves playing with her friends and I get to be home with her. That we are able to do nice vacations, have nice cars, extra money. That the kids call him Mr. *** and love him.

Dislikes: Wear and tear on the house, kids who are sick with colds that make dd sick, when the state regs make me stressed

[kathiemarie]

To be honest I can't not remember one time when my DH complained about me doing DC. Maybe about the couch gettig dirty but I remind him that we have a dog, 2 cats and 3 of our own kids that use the couch way more than the DC kids do and he gets over it.

He is my back up when I have doctors appt. or other things to do. The kids love him. Infact, he watched them last week and the kids were so happy. One told her mom that *** is watching them today so we are going to have a PARTY! (free play all day! : I am very lucky.

[SimpleMom]

My dh thought I would be able to make dinner, run a household, care for the kids, etc., etc. ....alone without going nutso He figured it out about a year later when he had Friday's off and helped me with the kids and dcks. He had a whole new appreciation for what I do after that.