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Thank You -I hope so too! 
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oh she doesn't want to leave any supplies there? She's probably counting diapers and checking up on what you have used during the day. Not necessarily a bad thing but just something to keep in mind.Comment
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Yeah she probably is counting the diapers. She also wants to take his bottle and his "personal chew toys" (she calls them) home to disinfect each day. And the huge can of formula - probably so she can calculate if I gave him what I said... AND she brings 2 fresh bottles of Dasani water for his bottles... another way for her to measure me. OYE! She's going to drive me crazy during this temporary situation. :confused:Comment
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I answered in bold above.The mom brings the baby's baby bag each day "refreshed" she says. So I didn't see the different bottle in the bottom of her bag until she left. I would have felt a little odd digging thru it in front of her at her drop off - nor would I have time to while she's quick to leave. BUT if I did see it, I would definitely have asked her - so I agree with you on that.
I can completely see how the mis-understanding happened then. I guess I didn't really think ahead that providers aren't all the same and some parents do bring diaper bags back and forth each day.
But with it being deep in the bag, I had no idea until it was... well too late. I never would think that a mom would bring a bottle for a baby that he didn't like. It's just setting up for disaster, so I'm not sure why that would be my fault at all.
I definitely didn't mean the whole situation was your fault.
because yes, you had no way of knowing a mom would do something like that. I just meant that I would have discussed bottles and what kinds/types and changes are allowed pretty indepthly during the interview so that things like htat can't happen.
We had communicated quite a bit during the tour and we talked about how he really liked this one type of bottle she would bring because she was going to stop breastfeeding soon. So I would not expect her to change it up on his second day or experiment with formulas with me either.
Yeah, that was a bit odd of her to do that and then not say anything to you about bringing a different one. That was all on her.
She came to pick up today and I had a talk with her. Basically told her to PLEASE just bring that one bottle since now we know its the only one he likes. She apologized and said she knew he would have a hard time with it, but hoped he would like it with me... Not sure why he would but whatever. I really do have great communication with my parents, but with new ones there are always going to be bumps. Just upset me that it was big bumps because baby couldn't eat... which caused baby to be very unhappy... causing me to be very irritated with the mom.
You are right, there is always bumps with any new family and every experience teaches us what to not do or what to do differently in the next situation so rest assured we all have learning experiences.
This is a temporary family - only for 2 months of care. I did see red flags at the tour with her high maintenance issues of why she left her other daycare, but since she was short term, I let it slide. I'll decide to either deal with her or terminate if I have any other problems. We'll see.
Thank you everyone for your kind advice. I sent him home with a VERY loose diaper by the way
I hope he makes a big messy poo for his mama! haha I apologize if I offended you, it was just that the way you told the story led me to think that there was room for a lot more conversation that could have happened that would have eliminated the situation or atleast not made it so bad.
For example, when the mom came to get the child, I would have discussed with her how long she was keeping him, if he would nap with her or back at daycare etc, doing that AT the time of pick up would have eliminated the issues that you had when she returned him.....that's the part where I said further communication would have been good.
Anyways, I am glad it worked out ok and that you were able to talk more with mom so that this kind of a situation can be avoided next time.Comment
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No biggie Blackcat. I know what you meant. I really do appreciate the advice.
Besides that ~ I reaaaaally want to terminate this situation. The mom brought baby this morning and she was being really condescending with me. I figured out that she talks to me like she's my boss vs her childcare provider with all her controlling instructions. What really got me this morning though is when she said "I felt so bad that I brought him to his babysitter this morning with socks too big"... She was referring to me as a babysitter
Errrr I hate that.
I'm really not feeling this arrangement with her and its exhausting me. She irritates me from day one (literally). The baby was really good the first day but now is just a hot mess for me. He always wants to be held and if not, he's crying. He didn't do this the first day. I have all toddlers besides this 5 month old and I can't seem to figure out how to balance the two ages.
Today is Wednesday... She already paid for the whole week. I already know I want to terminate for sure. Should I tell her today or wait it out till Friday and then tell her at pick up? It only gives her a weekend to find a new daycare, but its just not working.
These are reasons I could tell her...
* Every day I have to walk my daycare kids to my sons school twice a day in the daycare wagon (she knows this), but he cries non stop from here to there (this is 30 minutes of crying by the way).
* It's hard for me to balance him with the older kids.
* He demands a lot of attention (cries all the time)
* I'm not feeling he's a good fit with the daycare (her especially! haha)
Should I just stick with the reason of the walks and him crying because that is the hardest part? I hate terminating families so soon on, but I just don't like the way she makes me feel and I don't like this controlling type feeling she gives me. Also the baby is a lot of work in addition to my other kids. I know I want to end it. Plus I'm getting calls from people who need "permanent long term" care and she's just a 2 month temp situation. Any advice is appreciated!!! Thanks
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GIRL!! Let her go! I would tell her the cold hard truth. "your baby is too much work and is not a good fit for our situation!" if she gets into it then go on to say shes condescending and you don't like her either. Don't feel bad! I would want long term permanent kids! Find a good fit and you'll be so happy happyfaceNo biggie Blackcat. I know what you meant. I really do appreciate the advice.
Besides that ~ I reaaaaally want to terminate this situation. The mom brought baby this morning and she was being really condescending with me. I figured out that she talks to me like she's my boss vs her childcare provider with all her controlling instructions. What really got me this morning though is when she said "I felt so bad that I brought him to his babysitter this morning with socks too big"... She was referring to me as a babysitter Errrr I hate that.
I'm really not feeling this arrangement with her and its exhausting me. She irritates me from day one (literally). The baby was really good the first day but now is just a hot mess for me. He always wants to be held and if not, he's crying. He didn't do this the first day. I have all toddlers besides this 5 month old and I can't seem to figure out how to balance the two ages.
Today is Wednesday... She already paid for the whole week. I already know I want to terminate for sure. Should I tell her today or wait it out till Friday and then tell her at pick up? It only gives her a weekend to find a new daycare, but its just not working.
These are reasons I could tell her...
* Every day I have to walk my daycare kids to my sons school twice a day in the daycare wagon (she knows this), but he cries non stop from here to there (this is 30 minutes of crying by the way).
* It's hard for me to balance him with the older kids.
* He demands a lot of attention (cries all the time)
* I'm not feeling he's a good fit with the daycare (her especially! haha)
Should I just stick with the reason of the walks and him crying because that is the hardest part? I hate terminating families so soon on, but I just don't like the way she makes me feel and I don't like this controlling type feeling she gives me. Also the baby is a lot of work in addition to my other kids. I know I want to end it. Plus I'm getting calls from people who need "permanent long term" care and she's just a 2 month temp situation. Any advice is appreciated!!! ThanksComment
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I would simply say that after providing care for xx amount of days, it has become evident that he is just not a good fit for wha tyou have going on. I wouldn't necessarily tell her it is because of her or her actions because unless you know it will help her change, it will do no good.
Just tell her tonight at pick up that it isn't working and you wish her the best and even give her the number of the local CCR&R. I wouldn't wait until Friday because that is just adding more days to having to care for him and deal with her....kwim?
Is she still in her two week trial period? You siad she was temporary, so what agreement do you have in place for giving notice? If possible, I would stop caring for him as soon as you are able to do so and let her issues be her issues.
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If she had paid until the end of the week I would let her know today that you will no longer be able to provide care after Friday. It will be her choice to bring baby tomorrow/Friday and I'm betting she won't.
Most people here will tell you you do not have to give a term reason and I don't disagree with that. However, I would have something short and very thought out to say when she asks why.
Best of luck!Comment
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I would just say its not a good fit. You dont have to justify yourself to anyone, her or yourself! If it were me, I wouldnt ever get into a debate or put in a situation where you have to name all the reasons why. I would just followup with he is not a good fit and you are interviewing to fill the position long term. Don't feel bad or let her get to you. You are doing a great job!
We have all had our "learning" families. Make sure you right down all the things you will want to make sure and discuss with any new prospective parents regarding "baby rearing" for lack of a better term.::
I have had a few families along the way that I had to suggest that they have a nanny come in as their employee if they want their baby cared for in certain way. Here I do it the way that works best for me and the group I already have.Comment
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No- I don't feel you have to go into a long reason of why. I wouldn't. The more you say, the more she has to go and run her mouth with. Have her leave on good terms if possible. I would just tell her it's not working out, maybe give her a list of other providers you know of that may be able to help her, or a referral service that can direct her in the right direction. If she ask you more...... just tell her I am finding out that he is not a good fit for the group as a whole. It was a pleasure working with you and I wish you good luck.
If you do want to keep her on, then tell her she can't be micro managing you and that it makes you feel that she feels you are incompetent. Speak up for what you believe in and do. Have your policy/handbook ready to show her how you do things.
I plan to put in my pb, that due to lack of space, please bring your childs items in and no diaper bags, car seats, or strollers to be left at my home.
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I would absolutely have a little something typed up by pick up tonight saying that you will no longer be able to care for him after Friday. Keep it short and simple, I wouldn't go into detailed explainations. Since she paid for the week I'd leave it up to her if she wants to bring him the next 2 days - but they should be non-refundable if she decides not to.
I dealt with one of these parents for a very long 2.5 years and now have them knocking on my door to come back with their new baby and I just don't want to deal with it again.Comment
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I would type up a short and sweet little note and stick it in her diaper bag tonight.
I woudl tell her today that the last day is Friday (since she is paid up til then). If she doesn't come back Thursday or Friday, that's on her.
If she confronts you or makes you uncomfortable in ANY way, TERM IMMEDIATELY!!!Comment
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