Top 5 List Revisit. 2012

[kidkair]

#1 No electronics of any sort. Preferably none even in the rooms the kids will be using so they are not a source of temptation. I do it so I know it can be done.

#2 I would want to find out about what times they go outside and I would drive by during those times to make sure they were actually getting outside. This would be my check on the provider's honesty and see how she interacts with the kids outside.

#3 Knowledge of nutrition and safety above and beyond the gov't guidelines. I'd want to see her cupboards and see that the areas set up for the kids were set with safety in mind. Also I would really rather start my kid at a time when snow is not covering most of the yard so I can fully see the yard and am not surprised by it come spring. Also I would periodically expect to be able to tour the kid areas once my child was attending. Most of my parents have totally forgotten what my kitchen looks like if they did more than just glance during the interview. I would really like to know what my child sees on any given day.

#4 Willingness to accommodate differences among the children such as using different soap if child is allergic to currently used one.

#5 Organized area for kids as well as her paperwork area which to me shows she won't be spending lots of time getting things done in the evening so she can participate in her personal activities quickly once the kids have gone home.

I'd love to hire a nanny too though I feel that requires a lot more trust than a daycare provider.

[Cat Herder]

You know SOMEONE is going to whine about #3, and this time it's gotta be me...

I totally understand that you are coming from a different perspective, but I have raised 3/4 of my own kids in dc, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER made a dc child feel "2nd class" because of it.

My youngest is 11 now, so he is more a helper than one of the group.

I almost always agree with you Cat, I guess it's gotta happen sometime...

I knew #3 was going to be a tough one .... and there is no real right answer for me. My Mom was also a provider when I was growing up, but in a center. I was a "center brat" (70's term) until I was old enough to latch key (with a couple year gap of being B/A school/summer with a few home providers)

IME, Center brats either have Moms who put the daycare kids first....

I didn't ever put them first, but always the daycare children. Probably wrong of me I know but I was being paid to watch these children and I know that if something were to happen it could have come back on me and having children.

....causing us to resent the other kids, bully when nobody was looking, shut down or be wholly terrors whom nobody wanted to be around.. (This was the path that my Mom and I traveled. )....or their own first (which was the path I felt I was inclined to follow with my own.)

I simply did not want to risk it. I did not want my kids in daycare.

Even though my Mom was in the room... I was at daycare. When I got home she was already tired of me because she spent 12 hours fighting me to keep her job....

I'd prefer a provider not dealing with this issue, that's all. There are enough issues in a given day, I want the stress level as low as humanly possible. It really is 100% my own issue.

[Heidi]

bbo~ YOU may not feel as though you ever did that but how do you REALLY ever know that? I mean, kids don't think or feel in a logical and rational manner like (some...LOL!) adults do and although I think I made an extra effort or made a fair decision, it doesn't mean a kid has the same thoughts and feelings.

In the thread about my DH growing up in a daycare, he said his mom had no idea how he REALLY felt so in reality, there is no way you actually know that none of your daycare kids ever felt as though they were or weren't as equal as your own child....kwim?

Another example is sibling rivalry. I read somewhere that no matter how much time, you spend with each child equally they will always feel like you shorted them. They will always feel like if you had 15 minutes to spend with the other child that is so unfair because that was 15 minutes you could have spent with them instead. Kids are so egocentric in their thinking that it is almost impossible to not have DCK's that feel as though they will always be second to the providers child...no matter how hard the provider tries to make sure it is all fair.

There is no such thing as fair and children will be the first to tell you that.
Plus this forum is really good proof that most providers do this job so they can spend time at home with their own children and many comments have been made about how "this is MY child we are talking about......etc etc etc" so you are probably 100% truthful in the fact that you tried to never let a dck feel like a 2nd class citizen but you really don't know that they did or didn't feel that way.

I raised my own kids while doing child care as well. I know I tried really hard to always be fair so DCK's never felt like I treated them differently but I dunno, kids are smart like that and although I believe I didn't treat my own differently, I am not ccompletely convinced.

I hope that all came out right .....I completely and totally agree with Cat Herder on this one. If I were a parent looking for child care, I would absolutely choose one where the provider did not have young children of her own in care while mine is there.

OK, so I should probably clarify.

Of course I treated my own children differently. I treat every child differently, for that matter. It's one of by basic philosophies in raising children: life is not always fair, so get over it now!

What I meant was that I don't treat my own children better than my dc kids.
Of course we don't know what our children or those children are thinking or feeling. I can think of many times as a child (and as an adult even) when I've felt misunderstood. Honestly, though, there are times when you could give two children the exact same thing at the exact same moment, and one would still manage to say "hey......" Again, I can honestly say I never treated one of my daycare kids like they were 2nd class, I'm sticking to that.

I don't get too riled up too often, but I felt a little pang there when I read that, because I for one have worked really really hard to take really really good care of my dc kids and make each one feel special and loved!

[Heidi]

I knew #3 was going to be a tough one .... and there is no real right answer for me. My Mom was also a provider when I was growing up, but in a center. I was a "center brat" (70's term) until I was old enough to latch key.

IME, Center brats either have Moms who put the daycare kids first....



....causing us to resent the other kids, bully when nobody was looking or be wholly terrors whom nobody wanted to be around.. (This was the path that my Mom and I traveled. )....or their own first (which was the path I felt I was inclined to follow with my own.)

I simply did not want to risk it. I did not want my kids in daycare.

Even though my Mom was in the room... I was at daycare. When I got home she was already tired of me because she spent 12 hours fighting me to keep her job....

I'd prefer a provider not dealing with this issue, that's all. There are enough issues in a given day, I want the stress level as low as humanly possible. It really is 100% my own issue.

I really am not arguing the point, Cat. I was teasing a little. We all make our own decisions based on our own experiences. lovethis

[Cat Herder]

I really am not arguing the point, Cat. I was teasing a little. We all make our own decisions based on our own experiences. lovethis

I know you were not arguing...

I felt I should still clarify for the unregistered whom may not understand where I was coming from. ::

I lovethislovethislovethis discussing the differing viewpoints. happyface I even googled Zen Daycare. I had no picture in my head to go with that except vans painted with flowers....

Interesting concept... I will read more.

[Country Kids]

I knew #3 was going to be a tough one .... and there is no real right answer for me. My Mom was also a provider when I was growing up, but in a center. I was a "center brat" (70's term) until I was old enough to latch key (with a couple year gap of being B/A school/summer with a few home providers)

IME, Center brats either have Moms who put the daycare kids first....



....causing us to resent the other kids, bully when nobody was looking, shut down or be wholly terrors whom nobody wanted to be around.. (This was the path that my Mom and I traveled. )....or their own first (which was the path I felt I was inclined to follow with my own.)

I simply did not want to risk it. I did not want my kids in daycare.

Even though my Mom was in the room... I was at daycare. When I got home she was already tired of me because she spent 12 hours fighting me to keep her job....

I'd prefer a provider not dealing with this issue, that's all. There are enough issues in a given day, I want the stress level as low as humanly possible. It really is 100% my own issue.

How did you then put yours first without everyone having an issue with that? Then if you do put yours first don't they in a way think they rule the roost and maybe not respect the dck's. I just really don't hink there is a balance.

[Zoe]

I don't get too riled up too often, but I felt a little pang there when I read that, because I for one have worked really really hard to take really really good care of my dc kids and make each one feel special and loved!

I'm right there with you. My kids love having daytime friends here and the daycare kids have a great time at my house. My kids don't get special in front of the daycare kids. If they want special, they have to go into their rooms so the daycare kids don't feel bad. When I was a kid in daycare I hated how the daycare lady's daughter could just go into the fridge and eat whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. I hated that and vowed to never let a daycare kid (to the best of my power) ever feel that way.

I stayed home with my kids and started a daycare and I'm trying hard not to take offense to this post. I get that everyone has different views of the perfect daycare and that's what the thread is for. I just don't like it when members generalize people into groups like that.

[Cat Herder]

How did you then put yours first without everyone having an issue with that? Then if you do put yours first don't they in a way think they rule the roost and maybe not respect the dck's. I just really don't hink there is a balance.

I did it the only way I could logically think of. I opened a couple years before I had my kids to make sure I could do it and built up a reputation to sustain me through the pregnancies when I would not be on my A game (B & C shifts). I was 22.

I kept school agers B/A School/Summer when my kids were Infants/Toddlers (had them as close together as humanly possible to make it work). The S/A's liked being role models to the littles and we had the ability to go on any field trip we wanted. We went out (library, lake, arcade, movies, zoo, museums) everyday during the summer. More like camp.

Once my kids were school aged I went to birth-4 and seperated the daycare from our family space.

I have 5 more years and they will all be off to college. They like coming into the daycare to read books, do science projects and circle times with the kids. They like having them here and ask me if they can do it. lovethis They even plan their own activities...::

[Heidi]

How did you then put yours first without everyone having an issue with that? Then if you do put yours first don't they in a way think they rule the roost and maybe not respect the dck's. I just really don't hink there is a balance.

I guess that depends on what "putting yours first" means. Letting your children run amok while you march the dc kids like soldiers?

You make the rules the same for everyone until the minute the daycare kids go home. THEN you let you children run amok! jk no, really, though, I have the same standards for my own kids as the dc kids. I think it's a little harder for me now, because my son is 11 and homeschooled, so sometimes, the rules ARE a little different. He also didn't grow up in daycare, so he's learning the ropes a little late.

Maybe my kids where just so easy going? I don't know :confused: They got their "mommy" time when dc was over. During dc time, they all got the same great care....fun, hugs, and love....lovethis

[familyschoolcare]

For the sake of continued good conversation: The people that would prefer a provider that did not have their own children in the daycare mix. What are

you feelings on someone with older children still living at home? Like my situation I have a 7th grader who is 13, a jr. in high school 17, and two step

children that visit one is a sophomore 15, and the other is an 18 year old Jr.



Oh by the way I waited until now to add to this conversation because of the ages of my children I would not need child care.

[Cat Herder]

For the sake of continued good conversation: The people that would prefer a provider that did not have their own children in the daycare mix. What are

you feelings on someone with older children still living at home? Like my situation I have a 7th grader who is 13, a jr. in high school 17, and two step

children that visit one is a sophomore 15, and the other is an 18 year old Jr.



Oh by the way I waited until now to add to this conversation because of the ages of my children I would not need child care.

That is a cop out.... Come on.... Play. I have been closed 5 1/2 hours and am home alone....this will NEVER happen again. :::::: I don't want to do housework...

IME, The older kids were AWESOME!!!! My own kids walked, talked and hit milestones so much faster. They were like sponges!!!

I did get hit with a few bad (ok, nightmarish ) apples toward the end of keeping SA's... But until them I could not have been happier.

If I trusted the provider...her having older kids would put her over the top for me.

[familyschoolcare]

That is a cop out.... Come on.... Play. I have been closed 5 1/2 hours and am home alone....this will NEVER happen again. :::::: I don't want to do housework...

IME, The older kids were AWESOME!!!! My own kids walked, talked and hit milestones so much faster. They were like sponges!!!

I did get hit with a few bad (ok, nightmarish ) apples toward the end of keeping SA's... But until them I could not have been happier.

If I trusted the provider...her having older kids would put her over the top for me.

I do not think it is a cop out ... but if you realy whant I will play.


1. mixed age group care, I whant to have all my children in the same room so they can "tatle" on each other

2. Some education in child related things

3. A clean home

4. Having some/most of the same values as me perferiably a Christian

5. Good food actual food nutitous wholesome ect.

[nannyde]

excellent food
excellent supervision and discipline
excellent exercise
excellent sleep
and a lovin Nan to boot

[gbcc]

Just for a twist... What if you went to a home and you noticed that the provider had 2 children that appeared to be special needs and they were not from the same family. Would you be concerned it was the provider?

[SunshineMama]

[QUOTE=Cat Herder;203172]

Even though my Mom was in the room... I was at daycare. When I got home she was already tired of me because she spent 12 hours fighting me to keep her job....


This is exactly what I struggle with, as a provider. I get up with my 1 year old at 5:30 every day, watch 6 children total all day, and my day doesnt end until 8:00-8:30, when I get my oldest daughter down. By the time my last daycare kid leaves for the day, I find myself struggling to get enough quality time in with my own children and I feel resentful. When I worked outside of the home, I came home from work and played hard with my own kids for a few hours until bedtime. Now that I do daycare, I am still with my children, but I feel that I lack the energy and enthusiasm that I once had. Then comes the guilt. I don't want to say I'm "tired of" my kids- obviously I love them to pieces, but I just don't feel very playful, if that makes sense.

Does anyone else with young kids feel this way?