Top 5 List Revisit. 2012

[Sunchimes]

If she had biological children, foster children, adopted children, raised her siblings kids, whatever. I don't care if those kids are 40 or they are integrated in the current daycare.

I want my kids in a home daycare where the caregiver has direct experience with having 100% responsibility over the child. She knows the "look" of a sick child and has that intuition to know when something is not right or "off" with a child. I want to know she has been in the trenches and come out the other side.

It may seem silly to some, but I started my career in professional childcare before having my own kids. While I was excellent at my job then, I find it much easier to "know" now that I am a mom myself. I want my provider to understand that I am leaving my WORLD in her care. That I would break inside if something were ever to happen to my child. I want her to know how hard it would be for me to leave my kid and be able to level with me as a parent. I would want suggestions if my child was struggling -- not from an education standpoint, from another parents perspective. I am one who believes it takes a village.

Makes sense. My step-kids came to me closer to driver's license than day care, and when I was a house mother at the children's home, I had teenage boys. So, in all honesty, I haven't had much experience with babies. When I got my first dcbaby, I tried to pass her by, out of fear. Her mom just said, "We will learn together". And we have, and she has thrived, as have the 2 babies since then. But, I understand the concern and would probably have it myself. No probably about it--I did have it and they weren't even my kids. Luckily, all 3 chose to trust me, and now their WORLD has become my world. I would die for any of my kids. It surprised me when I realized how important they were to me.

[cheerfuldom]

I don't mean someone without children....just that I wouldn't go with someone that had several of their own children within the daycare mix.....basically, someone like me, ha ha! I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and a 9 month old. It is very hard to meet the needs of them plus daycare kids and this is one of the reasons that I am downsizing and eventually, getting out of daycare. I would prefer someone with older kids, someone with a younger child if the provider still had a lot of experience, someone with school aged children where I feel that they can still handle all the kids on the days when school is out. I like the idea of direct experience as jen said but coming from first hand experience, I wouldn't want the provider feeling like they are overwhelmed or that they are having to choose between their kids and the daycare kids. I did fine with my two kids and doing daycare but once the third child came along, it is just a whole different story for now.

[Cat Herder]

I'd want:

(first know centers are automatically excluded for me, I grew up in them so my viewpoint is valid for me.

Sorry if anything I say offends anyone, not my intent, this is just what I'd want for my own kids. I am the worlds worst PITA mom and I know it. I am irrational (maybe even ridiculously so) and protective when it comes to my kids safety. Yep, I said it. )

1. Someone with 10+ years in Childcare, or work experience in Business/Human Resources Management. (a strong person who can look me in the eye and tell me I am being ridiculous and discuss a solution with a smile on their face lovethis) This is important, to me, because the number one cause of child abuse/neglect is provider burnout. The number one cause of that is dealing with the business side of childcare, not the care of the kids. I also don't want to deal with constant policy changes or contracts that are chaotic. The closings calendar should be available a year in advance (barring emergencies). I am uber organized and I expect the same.

2. Someone with a strong working knowledge of Child Development, Nutrition and Infection Control/ Injury Prevention (not "Early Education", I'll worry about my own child's education, that is MY job). I'd rather have someone who knows about SIDS, Positional Asphyxiation, Choking Hazards, First Aid, CPR, Allergies, Anaphylaxis, Emergency Preparedness, etc. than someone who knows how to prepare disadvantaged kids for kindergarten any day. Hands down. I would pay extra for someone who had training and a program focus in nutrition. I feel inadequate in that area and that would be something exciting for me to have access to.

3. Someone who is a parent, but does not have their own kids as part of the daycare group. I am human, I can not treat other peoples kids with the same emotional fairness as my own during a conflict.... As a flawed human, I don't think anyone else can or will either. That is also why my own were never part of my groups. It is a really big issue to me... admittedly born from my own childhood experiences and probably horribly unfair.

4. Clean floors, tables, toys, cubbies, linens and baseboards but HIS/HER desk, cabinets and shelves are a nightmare. Those things tell me what I need to know about their nature. Kids needs come first...:: If every piece of their clothing has paint or bleach stains, she/he get's extra points. lovethis

5. Awesome setup. Someone with large indoor/outdoor play areas. Divided play spaces available for individual and group play. Structured and Free play times. All kids in same room during nap times. Supervised nap times. Infants completely (physically, not visually) separated from toddlers (except during structured playtime) and NO restraint equipment. I know this, in my heart, born of experience both personal and professional, to be the best set-up for happy, calm, grinning, intelligent, free spirited, imaginative, goofy , kissy faced kids.

[cheerfuldom]

Cat, so by #5 you mean a baby zone but no exersaucers, jumpers or bouncers. I am assuming high chairs are okay? just wondering.

[Cat Herder]

Cat, so by #5 you mean a baby zone but no exersaucers, jumpers or bouncers. I am assuming high chairs are okay? just wondering.

High chairs only during scheduled feeding times. Again, only because of my own personal experiences and issues.

I cannot tell you how many people I had to write up over the years who abused high chairs by tossing a few cheerios on the tray to be able to keep their "difficult" child restrained for HOURS on end.

The kids "ate" for 6 out of 10 hours a day....

I love excersaucers and bouncers...when used appropriately.... BUT if the provider used them here, I would know she was operating illegally. They are now against regs for childcare. I would have nightmares about what other regs she blows off.... YKWIM? I am type A like that.

[Cat Herder]

No other takers?

Everyone is being so open minded and respectful....lovethis

It really is fascinating to hear other viewpoints... happyface

[SunshineMama]

AWESOME question!

1. Safe, clean environment, with a lot of square footage, more than one play area, and a napping area that is separate from a play area. I want my child to be somewhere with lots of stimulation and options for play. There doesn't have to be a ton of toys, per-se: I like creative play. Dress up clothes, science centers, sensory bins, etc.

2. Somewhere where at they will get at least 1 hour of outdoor play, minimum. The more they are outside the better. Bonus points for swings and play structures.

3. Somewhere that serves (mostly) home-made, all natural or organic ingredient food. No processed food from a can or jar. Natural PB&J is fine with me! Anything with high fructose corn syrup = not fine. I want a provider that shares my outlook on health and wellness. PLEASE don't kill me for saying this: But I want a provider who is physically fit as well. Yes, you can be slightly overweight and physically fit, but I would never hire a slouch. Before I did daycare, my first nanny was a slouch- I justified that appearance doesn't matter, but it really does. She was very overweight, lazy, online too much, too much TV, and she didn't physically engage my kids. You really can't chase and play with kids all day and still be obese, unless all you are doing is sitting down while you observe the kids play and never play with them. If you cant or wont even take care of your own appearance, what kind of care are you offering my kids. (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't get mad at me for saying this- just my own opinion: does not mean it is RIGHT, and it stems from my own bad experience....) But, other parents may have had the same experience in the past so I am adding it to the list.

4. Provider must use proper grammer and speak well, enforce manners, command respect and discipline, and make my child follow the rules, while being loving and caring, and showing an interest in my child. IE: When my child comes over to you to show you something, don't ignore her for being "annoying," listen to her and respect her as an individual. I want my child to feel important, without feeling like they have to be the center of attention all the time. Bonus points for "working" with my child to learn to read, spell, write, etc.

5. I would want another child in the same age or developmental level as my child, so they would have someone to play with on their level. This isn't as important for the little one, but my 3.5 year old needs another 3.5 or 4 year old to play with. (When I took on another 3.5 year old to care for, my dd went from the instigator to a perfect angel. She was bored I think. So now, I have 1 boy and 1 girl the same age- a coincidence but my household equilibrium is very good).

I am one of those parents who have higher expectations, but I would be willing to pay a lot more for those services.

This is a great question! I can't wait to read the other answers.

[SunshineMama]

3. Someone who is a parent, but does not have their own kids as part of the daycare group. I am human, I can not treat other peoples kids with the same emotional fairness as my own during a conflict.... As a flawed human, I don't think anyone else can or will either. That is also why my own were never part of my groups. It is a really big issue to me... admittedly born from my own childhood experiences and probably horribly unfair.

This, exactly! I had my dd in daycare at 5 months, and the OP had a 5 month old dd. It did not work.

When I became a provider, and dd was 9 months old, I took another 9 month old. Big mistake. If there were issues and both needed attention at the same time, I always took care of my dd first. That was not fair to the other baby. I termed after 2 weeks, and I told the parents why. Since then, I have a personal policy to never take a child younger than my youngest.

No matter how kind the provider is, or how much you try, you will always be inclined to attend to your own child first, and you will be biased, in my opinion. I would never send my children to a provider who has young children for that reason.

[Heidi]

I'd want:

(first know centers are automatically excluded for me, I grew up in them so my viewpoint is valid for me.

Sorry if anything I say offends anyone, not my intent, this is just what I'd want for my own kids. I am the worlds worst PITA mom and I know it. I am irrational (maybe even ridiculously so) and protective when it comes to my kids safety. Yep, I said it. )

1. Someone with 10+ years in Childcare, or work experience in Business/Human Resources Management. (a strong person who can look me in the eye and tell me I am being ridiculous and discuss a solution with a smile on their face lovethis) This is important, to me, because the number one cause of child abuse/neglect is provider burnout. The number one cause of that is dealing with the business side of childcare, not the care of the kids. I also don't want to deal with constant policy changes or contracts that are chaotic. The closings calendar should be available a year in advance (barring emergencies). I am uber organized and I expect the same.

2. Someone with a strong working knowledge of Child Development, Nutrition and Infection Control/ Injury Prevention (not "Early Education", I'll worry about my own child's education, that is MY job). I'd rather have someone who knows about SIDS, Positional Asphyxiation, Choking Hazards, First Aid, CPR, Allergies, Anaphylaxis, Emergency Preparedness, etc. than someone who knows how to prepare disadvantaged kids for kindergarten any day. Hands down. I would pay extra for someone who had training and a program focus in nutrition. I feel inadequate in that area and that would be something exciting for me to have access to.

3. Someone who is a parent, but does not have their own kids as part of the daycare group. I am human, I can not treat other peoples kids with the same emotional fairness as my own during a conflict.... As a flawed human, I don't think anyone else can or will either. That is also why my own were never part of my groups. It is a really big issue to me... admittedly born from my own childhood experiences and probably horribly unfair.

4. Clean floors, tables, toys, cubbies, linens and baseboards but HIS/HER desk, cabinets and shelves are a nightmare. Those things tell me what I need to know about their nature. Kids needs come first...:: If every piece of their clothing has paint or bleach stains, she/he get's extra points. lovethis

5. Awesome setup. Someone with large indoor/outdoor play areas. Divided play spaces available for individual and group play. Structured and Free play times. All kids in same room during nap times. Supervised nap times. Infants completely (physically, not visually) separated from toddlers (except during structured playtime) and NO restraint equipment. I know this, in my heart, born of experience both personal and professional, to be the best set-up for happy, calm, grinning, intelligent, free spirited, imaginative, goofy , kissy faced kids.

You know SOMEONE is going to whine about #3, and this time it's gotta be me...

I totally understand that you are comming from a different perspective, but I have raised 3/4 of my own kids in dc, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER made a dc child feel "2nd class" because of it.

My youngest is 11 now, so he is more a helper than one of the group.

I almost always agree with you Cat, I guess it's gotta happen sometime...

[Country Kids]

With Cats #3 I can see what she is saying but I can honestly say that is why my children have a very hard time with me doing childcare and they have grown up with me doing it. I didn't ever put them first, but always the daycare children. Probably wrong of me I know but I was being paid to watch these children and I know that if something were to happen it could have come back on me and having children. I really think its hard but you have to put the daycare kids first I think unless they are being really hard or doing something that will hurt your children.

[daycare]

I thought my child was benefiting from me being home, instead he is last.........ALWAYS. Sorry I don't agree with #3 either.

I am getting paid to provide a service during those hours and it's very unfortunate that my son has had to learn that mommy is not an octopus and only has two hands. While he always comes first in my heart, he always comes last in anything that has to do with daycare.

In fact just yesterday my son and another child were playing a game that was not safe. I ran to help them get down off the chairs as they were both about to fall and get hurt. I ran to DCK first. Why, I won't sue myself if my child gets hurt, but little johnnys mommy will sue me in a heartbeat......

[Heidi]

With Cats #3 I can see what she is saying but I can honestly say that is why my children have a very hard time with me doing childcare and they have grown up with me doing it. I didn't ever put them first, but always the daycare children. Probably wrong of me I know but I was being paid to watch these children and I know that if something were to happen it could have come back on me and having children. I really think its hard but you have to put the daycare kids first I think unless they are being really hard or doing something that will hurt your children.

That just reminded me of something though-when I was 5 or 6, we went to the lady next doors' "daycare" for a while. She ALWAYS gave her kids treats, never us. All she ever said was "go outside and play", and if WE ever had anything (my sis and I) we had to share with her kids. My little friend gave me her one of her Oreos, and dcp's child saw me eat it. I got in SO much trouble for eating in front of her and not "sharing" ONE OREO...

I am 47, and still remember that....41 years later!

Thanks for bringing up long dark memories....CAT HERDER! sniff sniff THere should be a tears-rollong-down-cheeks-in-streams emoticon!

[Ariana]

I don't put DCK's first!! I treat everyone with dignity and respect of course and try to be equal in everything but my child is my top priority always. My child didn't choose this profession but parents chose to put their child in group care. I chose to stay home to be with my child while taking care of kids. I got a handout at a caregiver's workshop that talks about how it's very important to let your child know they are special when you provide care for others. I agree with it 100%

Giving treats only to your child is ridiculous!! Those are not things I'm talking about. wow that's so sad bbo

[Blackcat31]

You know SOMEONE is going to whine about #3, and this time it's gotta be me...

I totally understand that you are comming from a different perspective, but I have raised 3/4 of my own kids in dc, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER made a dc child feel "2nd class" because of it.
My youngest is 11 now, so he is more a helper than one of the group.

I almost always agree with you Cat, I guess it's gotta happen sometime...

bbo~ YOU may not feel as though you ever did that but how do you REALLY ever know that? I mean, kids don't think or feel in a logical and rational manner like (some...LOL!) adults do and although I think I made an extra effort or made a fair decision, it doesn't mean a kid has the same thoughts and feelings.

In the thread about my DH growing up in a daycare, he said his mom had no idea how he REALLY felt so in reality, there is no way you actually know that none of your daycare kids ever felt as though they were or weren't as equal as your own child....kwim?

Another example is sibling rivalry. I read somewhere that no matter how much time, you spend with each child equally they will always feel like you shorted them. They will always feel like if you had 15 minutes to spend with the other child that is so unfair because that was 15 minutes you could have spent with them instead. Kids are so egocentric in their thinking that it is almost impossible to not have DCK's that feel as though they will always be second to the providers child...no matter how hard the provider tries to make sure it is all fair.

There is no such thing as fair and children will be the first to tell you that.
Plus this forum is really good proof that most providers do this job so they can spend time at home with their own children and many comments have been made about how "this is MY child we are talking about......etc etc etc" so you are probably 100% truthful in the fact that you tried to never let a dck feel like a 2nd class citizen but you really don't know that they did or didn't feel that way.

I raised my own kids while doing child care as well. I know I tried really hard to always be fair so DCK's never felt like I treated them differently but I dunno, kids are smart like that and although I believe I didn't treat my own differently, I am not ccompletely convinced.

I hope that all came out right .....I completely and totally agree with Cat Herder on this one. If I were a parent looking for child care, I would absolutely choose one where the provider did not have young children of her own in care while mine is there.

[spud912]

I like this post!

1. Provider:
   First and foremost, a provider who I feel comfortable with. We don't have to be best friends, but I think it's important that we communicate well with each other and we share similar basic child-rearing beliefs. I would prefer someone older than 25 (please don't ridicule me on that....in my own experience I think there is a big difference in maturity between a 20 year old and a 25 year old). I do not have an upper limit on age (as long as she can get up and down with ease and can chase after the kids). The provider should have at least 2 years of experience running her own child care and at least 5-10 years with children of all ages. Also, she must be in this field for the right reasons (not "I want a play mate for my child"). I do not care if she has children of her own, as long as her children are well-behaved for the most part and she treats everyone fairly (or close).
2. Environment:
   Second, a clean and suitable child care environment. There should be a separate daycare area away from the provider's family space. I don't mind if toys are out, but the surfaces should be clean (regular sanitizing of surfaces and toys, clean floors, dishes mostly clean, clean bathrooms, etc.).
3. Activities:
   The provider should maintain a regular schedule and plan activities accordingly. I prefer little to no "screen" time, including on the computer. I know I differ from all of you, but I would like the provider to do some educational activities and help develop social skills. There should be arts and crafts, both open-ended and sentimental cookie-cutter crafts (I know, I'm cheesy and like them).
4. Meals:
   The meals should be healthy and homemade with as little processed food as possible. I also like an emphasis on VARIETY! I don't want my child growing up only knowing a few different kinds of foods that are rotated weekly (including fruits and vegetable variety).
5. Communication:
   This one is very important to me. I want to know what's going on in my children's day and what I have been missing out on (even if it's their firsts). If something happened, good or bad, let me know. I will take as much communication as I can get.

To be honest, I would most likely hire a nanny. If I felt my children lacked in "socialization," I would pay for her to take them to activities or classes or set-up some type of play date.