Dear Stay-At-Home Mom...VENT!

[e.j.]

I have no problem having the children here during my paid, working hours..... I also get tired of the attempted manipulation ..... I am an intelligent person - when I hear these statements from parents, I know they are laying groundwork for a late pickup later. Drop the disclaimers and be a responsible parent who is entered into a mutual contract for the safe and loving care of your child.......I treat each child and family here with respect. I just would like to be treated with the same respect. I deserve it....

Exactly!

Well, thanks! I sure am interested in the discussion this thread has lead to ~ I really was just having a moment yesterday when I needed to vent ~

Sometimes, threads take on a life of their own! ::

[MrsB]

I had an epiphany after reading all the posts.

Not everyone mom is a super mom like I am! Not everyone is as good with kids as I am Not everyone can do this for as many hours as I do and still have a positive impact Not every provider is as good as I am

There is something to be said for mothers that know their limits and entrust us as daycare providers to lend them support in raising their children. Wether that mother be a CEO, food service worker, or no actual employment at all.


Here is an example of a story where I had the initial reaction to get angry.

So I had a DCF, dad worked and SAHM. Brought daughter m-f 3.5 hours in the morning.

One day it was one of our DCKs birthdays so me and all the DCKs went out to the bakery to pick out cupcakes and then to Target to get some decorating supplies. All 7 of us (myself and 6k under the age of 4) were in target and ran into SAHM of daughter. She was very defensive and explained how she used the time she was at daycare to run errands, go grocery shopping. I said, oh I understand. We explained what we were doing there and moved on our way. An hour later, mom came to pick up daughter at her scheduled time and was all teary eyed. I gave her a hug, sat down and we talked. She just felt so inadequate as a mom because she sent her daughter to daycare so she could do chores. I realized, not very many people can do what I do! As for me and my judgements, I realized every time I judge a mother, she has probably judged herself 3 times as much.

A few times after that we would go to the store or fieldtrip for something and I invited her to come with. About 6 months after that they stopped regular services with me so DCD could stay home with mom. DCD would still come occasionally for drop-ins so mom could rejuevenate.

[daycare]

I have been on both ends.

I have a sahm right now that I love to death and she is super amazing. Her DCG comes part time full days and mom does everthing in her power to be with her. MOm just can't handle doing errands when child is in tow and that's ok, I understand how hard it is. AND YOU are so right, NOT many people can do what we do. I hear it every day and I love to hear it, makes me feel important and needed.

ON the other hand, recently I was emotionally beat up by a PITA SAHM who would bring her kids here full time 5 days a week all day, call me on weekends to see if I could watch the kids too. BUT this mom would come in and complain about how I am doing a horrible job with her kids because for the 1.5 hours per day that she HAD to spend with them they were MONSTERS. ( her words, not mine)

I took one heck of an emotional beating from this woman because I knew her kids were better off with me. I played with them, gave them love, attention and affection, She gave them TV and Ipads. I made the mistake of attending a birthday party of a DCK and this DCM was there at the party too. Her children ruined the entire party and DCM had the never to turn and look at me and fault me for her children's behavior.

This is the mom that those not so nice post go out to. While I don't regret this woman in my daycare, I thank her for giving me a better back bone, but it is MOMs like her that upset us to the point of venting in the manner of some of these posts....She never respected me or my services....

[cheerfuldom]

MrsB, thanks for that story. so great that you were able to help this mom. I think it is a reflection on our society that many women who become mothers have no previous experience with children and are quickly overwhelmed with even one child. I am glad you were able to support her and that she stepped up to the plate, mommy-wise.

[SandeeAR]

I don't think anyone took you the wrong way, maybe just have different opinions or views. Keep posting it makes things interesting and its how we all learn. Don't cop a tude

For what it's worth, I am not "coping a tude". I was sincere in my statement and simple walking away silently so as not to offend further. The few that have really gotten to know me on this board, KNOW I do not "cop a tude". At 53, I stopped that many years ago.

So now I will polietly and quietly walk away, shaking my head, as I tried to the first time.

[bunnyslippers]

For what it's worth, I am not "coping a tude". I was sincere in my statement and simple walking away silently so as not to offend further. The few that have really gotten to know me on this board, KNOW I do not "cop a tude". At 53, I stopped that many years ago.

So now I will polietly and quietly walk away, shaking my head, as I tried to the first time.

Please don't walk away! I think you have valuable input, and I would like to hear more. I don't have actual co-workers, and this is my only sounding board. I think we need you, so stick around!happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface