How To Get My Point Across...ADVICE PLEASE!

[Zoe]

I don't have a 'no toys from home rule'. I don't even have a 'policy' on it. It's one of those things that just creates a power struggle.

The kids (and parents) all know if they bring a toy from home, they share it. If it causes a problem it goes into the cubby until pick up time (this is what happens 99.9% of the time). If it gets broken or lost at daycare it isn't my responsibility, it's theirs. They can piss and moan about it all they want. I really don't care. They made the choice to bring the toy, that was the chance they took.

One of my 'non-issue' items and I rarely have problems with it.

That was how I felt as well....until the kid started bringing more and more toys that were smaller and smaller. Then one day she started bringing rubber bands, used band-aids :confused:, and pennies. That's when I started putting my foot down and made her put them in mom's hands while saying "no toys from home, those are choking hazards...don't want a dead baby." That got the point across and she hasn't brought anything since. Harsh but effective.

To the OP, I know it's super annoying to have to do it every day, but I would just start giving the toys back to mom and dad every morning again like you used to. And while you're doing it, say "no toys from home, you know the rule, please follow it." Honestly, they're adults, you shouldn't have to baby them and it's ridiculous that some parents require more work than the kids! Sorry you have to deal with this and I'm glad you put the toys up after the kids made your son cry. I'm a mama bear and I would be so angry if that had happened to my son.

[DCMom]

That was how I felt as well....until the kid started bringing more and more toys that were smaller and smaller. Then one day she started bringing rubber bands, used band-aids :confused:, and pennies. That's when I started putting my foot down and made her put them in mom's hands while saying "no toys from home, those are choking hazards...don't want a dead baby." That got the point across and she hasn't brought anything since. Harsh but effective.

That's beyond toys from home. A kid like that, I would handle exactly like you did. Don't you just wonder some days...

[Zoe]

That's beyond toys from home. A kid like that, I would handle exactly like you did. Don't you just wonder some days...

It started out as Barbies and stuff, so I was fine with it! Then for some odd reason THAT'S what she decided was a "fun toy from home." I was so confused by the reasoning on that one. :confused: So I figured I'd just not allow anything so there was no confusion.

[Sunchimes]

I also allow toys, but my handbooks says that they will be shared and I'm not responsible. I can't think of a single day that the toy was played with more than a couple of minutes after arrival before they moved on to something else. At that point, I quietly pick up the toy and put it in their bag.

That said, it's easy for me because I only have 3 and they are still young. But, I consider it to be training them in the way we mean to go forward.

[bice99]

No toys/lovies/blankies allowed in my DC except the ones I provide. Who knows where that toy has been and then a wobbler gets ahold of it and chews on it. EWWWW. So I told parents it was a hygiene issue as well. That stopped them.

[cheerfuldom]

Trash can by the door (on the porch preferably) and parents take the toys back to the car or they get thrown in the trash, right there in front of mom and dad. Same thing for food from home, candy and anything else that should not come in.

[TBird]

Sounds like it is time for the "Hotel California" rule.

They can check in but they can never leave.

Solves this issue pretty quickly! and YES, I do actually keep the toys.

Exactly! My policy is.....

NO TOYS FROM HOME. Many children find it hard to share a toy from home and a lost or broken toy is*distressing for the child. Hunting for a missing toy is time consuming.…please consider it a donation!

One or two parents have stocked my daycare with toys....quite literally!!!

[sharlan]

I really haven't had an issue with this. Any toys brought from home are either shared or put on top of the fridge for the owner to see.

Since you have such an issue, I would set a trash can outside the front door for toys. Tell the parents, trash or car, your choice.

[Unregistered]

They continue to bring them in the door because it makes the morning easy for the parent. They get to be the good guys who get to say "yes." At the door you get to be the bad guy who says "no." So mommy would let you bring toys to daycare, but Miss Suzie says no toys allowed. Miss Suzie gets to be the meanie who enforces the rules, and deals with the issues. If you can find away to make it more work for them by bringing toys, it will stop.

[Crazy8]

They continue to bring them in the door because it makes the morning easy for the parent. They get to be the good guys who get to say "yes." At the door you get to be the bad guy who says "no." So mommy would let you bring toys to daycare, but Miss Suzie says no toys allowed. Miss Suzie gets to be the meanie who enforces the rules, and deals with the issues. If you can find away to make it more work for them by bringing toys, it will stop.

EXACTLY. I would make parent AND child bring the toy back to the car - make it inconvenient for them. Honestly, your biggest mistake was to give up so easily. You needed to keep up on them from the start and getting them to change after a YEAR is going to be even more of a struggle. Honestly, if someone blatently disregarded one of my rules that much they'd probably be looking for a new daycare. You have your policies for a reason, only YOU can enforce them.

[Cat Herder]

I see a few choices:

1. Enforce your OWN policies. Make a stand. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

2. Give up and cope / Pick a bigger battle.

3. Change to a policy that requires no policing. "All toys from home will be considered a donation. Thank you in advance."

[Kim]

I have a no toys from home policy too. I never used to but after so many times of toys getting broken, lost, fought over, etc. I added the policy. All of my parents are respectful of the policy. If someone sneaks a toy in it goes into their cubby until pick up time. I also have sharing day each Friday so if a child has something special to share (doesn't have to be a toy though) they are allowed to bring it and share it at circle time. It stays in the cubby until circle time and after circle time it gets put back into the cubby.

[Sugar Magnolia]

How about this, in spoken word form, not in reprinted handbook form, at pick up time today. "mom, the toys from home are becoming a serious issue. Your children will not be allowed to bring any toys from home. It is your responsibility to ensure no toys leave your car. I will not allow this anymore, it its not fair to the other children. No exceptions. Thanks." Sorry, but this is easily solved with spoken words. Don't ask, tell.

[Lianne]

A friend of mine got tired of this battle with the parents and kids so she took a rubbermaid container and put it outside her front door. When the kids arrived in the morning with a toy in hand, they put it in the rubbermaid bin and could collect it at the end of the day. For those kids who resisted she waited for the parents to leave then didn't give the kids a choice.

[sahm2three]

My contract states...

Please do not bring outside toys and/or activities for your child as conflicts between your child and other children in the daycare are prone to take place. ALL toys and activities will be supplied by myself. Any toys that make their way to my door will be handed back to the parent immediately at drop off. Also I will not be responsible for any outside toys that get passed by me in the morning and are misplaced in the daycare.

So here's my problem...

I have been having a countinuous problem with one family for a whole year now allowing their children dcb4 and dcg5 to bring toys to daycare every single day! In the beginning I would say, "Sorry no toys in daycare and hand them back to the parents." The next day they would come with toys again. I then sent out the "play time' section of my contract that has the above paragraph in it for this family to sign and return to me, which they did. Next day they brought toys again. Finally I got so fed up with handing the toys back I started not saying anything anymore and pretty well closing my eyes to it...MISTAKE! My contract does say that if any outside toys get passed me in the morning and get misplaced in the daycare I am not responsible for that.

This morning dcg5 comes in with 4 barbies (2 more than yesterday) and dcb4 comes in with metal Thomas trains. As I am answering my door for my next family I hear crying coming from my living, I quickly went and investigated. It was my own son age 7 sitting on the floor half dressed in his winter gear for school crying. I asked him what was wrong to which he responded, "**** and **** won't let me play their game and said I am not their friend anymore." Dcg5 and my other dcg5 were playing with the barbies. Let me add it takes a lot for my son to cry, especially in front of the daycare kids. I immediately snatched up all the barbies and the Thomas trains and put them up on my kitchen cupboard both Dcg5 and Dcb4 of course started bawling because I had taken their toys.

What do I do now? If I say something to dcd it will mean nothing and the toys will come back in the morning again. Sending out the above part of my contract doesn't work! I am just so frustrated with this...please help me figure out what the best thing is to do.

Thanks.

I was having this issue too, until I sent home a note that stated that any toys brought into daycare would be kept as a donation to the daycare. Since then, no more toys brought from home!