How To Get My Point Across...ADVICE PLEASE!

[Angelwings36]

My contract states...

Please do not bring outside toys and/or activities for your child as conflicts between your child and other children in the daycare are prone to take place. ALL toys and activities will be supplied by myself. Any toys that make their way to my door will be handed back to the parent immediately at drop off. Also I will not be responsible for any outside toys that get passed by me in the morning and are misplaced in the daycare.

So here's my problem...

I have been having a countinuous problem with one family for a whole year now allowing their children dcb4 and dcg5 to bring toys to daycare every single day! In the beginning I would say, "Sorry no toys in daycare and hand them back to the parents." The next day they would come with toys again. I then sent out the "play time' section of my contract that has the above paragraph in it for this family to sign and return to me, which they did. Next day they brought toys again. Finally I got so fed up with handing the toys back I started not saying anything anymore and pretty well closing my eyes to it...MISTAKE! My contract does say that if any outside toys get passed me in the morning and get misplaced in the daycare I am not responsible for that.

This morning dcg5 comes in with 4 barbies (2 more than yesterday) and dcb4 comes in with metal Thomas trains. As I am answering my door for my next family I hear crying coming from my living, I quickly went and investigated. It was my own son age 7 sitting on the floor half dressed in his winter gear for school crying. I asked him what was wrong to which he responded, "**** and **** won't let me play their game and said I am not their friend anymore." Dcg5 and my other dcg5 were playing with the barbies. Let me add it takes a lot for my son to cry, especially in front of the daycare kids. I immediately snatched up all the barbies and the Thomas trains and put them up on my kitchen cupboard both Dcg5 and Dcb4 of course started bawling because I had taken their toys.

What do I do now? If I say something to dcd it will mean nothing and the toys will come back in the morning again. Sending out the above part of my contract doesn't work! I am just so frustrated with this...please help me figure out what the best thing is to do.

Thanks.

[MN Day Mom]

I would start handing the toys back to the parent in the morning and each and every time remind them... no toys from home at daycare.

Otherwise consider a box that sits at your entry door, or right outside the front door if it is weather protected and the toys go in there at drop off and stay there till pick up time.

[lpperry]

For this family, I would send out the no toy notice again, but add: Any outside toys brought into the daycare will be considered a donation to our daycare. Thank you for your contribution.

Or, Any outside toys brought into the daycare will be donated to goodwill.

Then, I would keep their toys. A few days of this, I doubt the parents are going to be bringing toys.

[countrymom]

easy fix, take your trash can out, (put a clean bag in it) and when they walk in throw their toys in the trash (it'll be clean but they will get the point) every day do, if they question it, show them the contract. I do have kids who bring stuff but they leave it on the counter, I had one kid bring his cars, well they got lost and I told dad that i don't look for them.

[Blackcat31]

Sounds like it is time for the "Hotel California" rule.

They can check in but they can never leave.

Solves this issue pretty quickly! and YES, I do actually keep the toys.

[JenNJ]

Trash can in the entryway. Throw the toys out in front of the parents.

[RPrunell]

I would not be so nice about it. I would take whatever toys the kids bring to dc and put them in the trash. When the parents ask where the toys are tell them that the toys are gone and show them the contract with their signature where is says you are not responsible.

Another option would be to write up a new contract saying that any toys brought to dc become the property of dc and have all parents sign new contract. If you do not want all the toys you can donate them to goodwill or some other charity.

[PitterPatter]

My contract states...

Please do not bring outside toys and/or activities for your child as conflicts between your child and other children in the daycare are prone to take place. ALL toys and activities will be supplied by myself. Any toys that make their way to my door will be handed back to the parent immediately at drop off. Also I will not be responsible for any outside toys that get passed by me in the morning and are misplaced in the daycare.

So here's my problem...

I have been having a countinuous problem with one family for a whole year now allowing their children dcb4 and dcg5 to bring toys to daycare every single day! In the beginning I would say, "Sorry no toys in daycare and hand them back to the parents." The next day they would come with toys again. I then sent out the "play time' section of my contract that has the above paragraph in it for this family to sign and return to me, which they did. Next day they brought toys again. Finally I got so fed up with handing the toys back I started not saying anything anymore and pretty well closing my eyes to it...MISTAKE! My contract does say that if any outside toys get passed me in the morning and get misplaced in the daycare I am not responsible for that.

This morning dcg5 comes in with 4 barbies (2 more than yesterday) and dcb4 comes in with metal Thomas trains. As I am answering my door for my next family I hear crying coming from my living, I quickly went and investigated. It was my own son age 7 sitting on the floor half dressed in his winter gear for school crying. I asked him what was wrong to which he responded, "**** and **** won't let me play their game and said I am not their friend anymore." Dcg5 and my other dcg5 were playing with the barbies. Let me add it takes a lot for my son to cry, especially in front of the daycare kids. I immediately snatched up all the barbies and the Thomas trains and put them up on my kitchen cupboard both Dcg5 and Dcb4 of course started bawling because I had taken their toys.

What do I do now? If I say something to dcd it will mean nothing and the toys will come back in the morning again. Sending out the above part of my contract doesn't work! I am just so frustrated with this...please help me figure out what the best thing is to do.

Thanks.

Been there done that!

I put my foot down. Hand them back to the parent EVERY morning. Get more stern each time reminding them of the handbook, ask point blank why they are breaking the rules. Let them stand there and say why. They will say oh little johnny wnats it or they will cry if I dont let them... etc... Heard it all! That's when I remind them you are the Mommy you are in charge. Hand them the toy back and say have a great day!

Wash rinse repeat!

[PitterPatter]

Sounds like it is time for the "Hotel California" rule.

They can check in but they can never leave.

Solves this issue pretty quickly! and YES, I do actually keep the toys.

::happyface

LOVE this!!!

[Angelwings36]

I thought about the "lost in daycare" "check in but don't check out" thing but I didn't know if it was mean to do? I thought maybe I would collect them all in a bag and then give them back after so many months...thoughts on that?

[PitterPatter]

I thought about the "lost in daycare" "check in but don't check out" thing but I didn't know if it was mean to do? I thought maybe I would collect them all in a bag and then give them back after so many months...thoughts on that?

I tried that but the parent would always ask where the such and such toy was after a day or 2. I would remind her that they are not allowed in daycare so when kids bring toys they get put in a tote and forgotten about and I will give them back eventually. She got mad and demanded it back. This happened a few times until I put my foot down and refused the toys to even enter the house. She didn't care that I would take them because she would just demand them back. More drama. I still say u just have to stick to your guns and not allow ANY toy in, EVER, and they will eventually understand your home your rules, not theirs.

Good luck I hate that power struggle but I am confident you will win you just have to stick to your guns.

[Blackcat31]

I thought about the "lost in daycare" "check in but don't check out" thing but I didn't know if it was mean to do? I thought maybe I would collect them all in a bag and then give them back after so many months...thoughts on that?

Ok, let me ask you this...

If you take the toys and keep them for a bit and then give them back what are you teaching the children AND parents?

If you have done all the other things such as saying something, reminding them with notes and copies of the contract and they are still doing it then I think you only have 2 choices;

1) take and keep the toys. indefinitely.

2) when child arrives with a toy you say "Mom, the rule says 'NO TOYS FROM HOME!' please take your child and the toy and return it to the car. PLease come back in without the toy as my contract states, which you agreed to." and then be super firm about it and do not allow the child, parent or toy to enter your home.

Besides those two options, I got nothing else for ya
YOU have the power to change the situation. You just have to do it.

[MrsB]

It is so frustrating isnt it? I have had the same problems too. I solved mine by as soon as the child walks in with the toy or I notice it, I take the toy away and put it up on the top of the cubbies, (so they can't sneak it back down later) and I say no toys at daycare, you can have it back when mommy/daddy pick you up. The kid may throw a fit, but I just turn around and walk away. Afterwhile they will stop bringing them or wont fuss when you put them up, but you will have to deal with a few fits. For the most part, my parents have gotten the hint and I dont have much of an issue anymore. One time, I had a parent tell me, "well I dont have the time to deal with a fit in the morning if I take it away. The toy is so SPECIAL to him." Oh brother! So you want me to deal with the fit! I have also heard, "well I talked to Johnny, and he said he would share" Which I am sure he had every intention of sharing his leggo robot with everyone. Until the 12 month old starts putting them in their mouth. I told them, share or not, no toys, plus I can't inspect every toy to make sure it hasn't been recalled, or that it is appropriate for the ages that I have attending that day.

If you dont want to do the put up until pick up idea...Maybe you could tell the parent that from now on you wont allow him/her in with outside toys. When you open up the door and see the toys say you cant come in until you give the toys to mom and dad. Shut the door and let the parents deal with it.

Good luck! Besides bringing kids sick and late pickups, this is one of the top irritants I have with do this job!

I do have a day each month that they can bring a sharing item. (it has to relate to our monthly theme) It is one hour that they get to get it out and share it and play with it. Then they have to put them back up until pickup.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I'd definitely just ask the parents WHY they continue to break your rules every single day. You could also initiate a "toy handling" fee.

[DCMom]

I don't have a 'no toys from home rule'. I don't even have a 'policy' on it. It's one of those things that just creates a power struggle.

The kids (and parents) all know if they bring a toy from home, they share it. If it causes a problem it goes into the cubby until pick up time (this is what happens 99.9% of the time). If it gets broken or lost at daycare it isn't my responsibility, it's theirs. They can piss and moan about it all they want. I really don't care. They made the choice to bring the toy, that was the chance they took.

One of my 'non-issue' items and I rarely have problems with it.