I Have To Improve Things, Because I Have To Stick This Out

[Daycaremomof2]

I've been following your threads since I joined this forum. They were mildly negative at the start but have grown with such intensity in the last 6 months or so that my HONEST opinion is that it is time for a career change.

This is gonna sound really harsh and I mean it with all due respect, but my mother use to tell me this when I was younger and complained a lot ----

Either put up or shut up!

I understand this is a place to come vent, get advise, what have you ; but after awhile people start not feeling sorry for you anymore. You have 2 choices fix it, or don't...but if you chose not to fix it please quit b*tching about it because, honestly, I am tired of hearing it. Once in awhile I see a post from you that makes me think, Ahhh! She's so happy today! Good for her!, and it gives me hope that you were finally able to get things working smoothly. Then I see it was only temporary, or only when it was a light duty day (and even then I've seen you find something to complain about).

Remember negative energy attracts negative energy and results in negative behavior. Children can SENSE how you are feeling, and they feed / play off of it, even if you think you are hiding it.

Think Positive, Act Positive, BE Positive. Make some lemonade outta those lemons!!!!!!

I like the positive energy vibe but that was a little harsh. I feel that way sometimes, and this is a great forum to vest and get other people's points of view. I am super sick of the sick kids coming too, and of the take advantage parents, and the rule breaking, etc. We can't all change careers, unfortunately. I know I HAVE to do this right now for my kids because they would not do well in daycare. I quit a very high powered job to do this because my kids need me and can't go back to my career until the are little older.

When I have sick kids (and nothing grosses me out more, just for the record), I section off my playroom with the big superyard, and try to keep everyone separate. It is a lot of work, but if you do it esp on a thursday or friday, you can keep everyone away from each other and they also have the weekend to heal (if they dont pick up something else, that is). That means no babies sharing the same toy at any point. Every time I change a diaper I wipe hands and mouths. As soon as the kids get dropped off they have to wash their hands or use the instant sanitizer before they enter the room with anyone else. When they leave, I spray everything down with vinegar and water and just let it sit there and dry (its antibacterial). I also open the windows for 10 minutes to air out each room the kids were in, yes- even in the dead of winter, to circulate the air and get the germs out. The older ones know to cough/sneeze in their elbows too. I also use lysol spray.

Even withall of these precautions, usually at least 1 other kid gets sick, but this helps to keep everyone from getting ill.

I feel or you- I am right there with you on this See if any of those suggestions help you. Hang in there!

[My3cents]

That can be a dangerous thing to do when you personally know you are at your limit and cannot continue the way things are.

Provider burnout and high stress levels make a risky situation for children.

Terming is often suggested for the mental, emotional and physical health of everyone involved.

I agree- there is a time and a place for terming. If you have exhausted all efforts.....yes.

[Heidi]

I appreciate everything said. The hard to hear stuff, and the advice. I will take some time to look it all over. I have always loved kids. I have always been the person in the gathering that ends up where the kids are to play with them, snuggle them, etc. But 10 hours a day, with kids suffering from lachadaisical parenting, it has made it hard to handle. A good friend of mine who did daycare for years warned me, it is the parents who will ruin things for you. She was 100% dead on. While I do have a couple parents that are wonderful, it is the others that are making this miserable. I am going to put an ad on CL or something and see what I can find and try to weed out some of the troublesome kids/parents. I guess in the interviews I need to ask some tough questions about their parenting styles/philosophies?

It makes me sad to think about just how negative this job has made me. I have ALWAYS been a glass half full type of gal. But I am getting so worn down. I am NOT this negative in real life. You guys are just lucky enough to get to read my raw emotions and honest reactions to things going on. And it DOES make me feel better to vent. I guess I should be more careful about how much I vent. It has just been really tough lately. The parents remind me of a teenager that you have to continually remind of the rules, and they break them over and over and find sneaky ways to get away with it.

I guess it's time to get super tough. Not really sure how to do it, but I guess whatever I do I have to be prepared to lose kids. Oh, and for the ones asking my stats, here they are:

I have 11 daycare kids. Ages are 7 (only after school), 3.5, 2.75, 2.5, 2, 1.75, 1, 1, 1, 8 mo, and 4 mo. I have a full time assistant. I have a lot of littles right now, but they are not all here every day. I have 4 part timers (the 3.5, 2.5, 2, and 4 mo). I am open from 7 AM to 5 PM. My last kids are usually picked up at 5:20. M-F.

Can't remember if there were other questions, but that is a start.

How many and what ages are you allowed to have by yourself?

[sahm2three]

How many and what ages are you allowed to have by yourself?

I am licensed for 12 kids. On my own, I can only have 4 under the age of 2 and 2 of those under the age of 1.

[Heidi]

I am licensed for 12 kids. On my own, I can only have 4 under the age of 2 and 2 of those under the age of 1.

For me, the littlest one, the afterschooler, and the part timers would go, and so would my assistant. Sometimes the Chaos of more kids AND another adult is worse than being by yourself! If you keep the ones "in the middle", an you do it by yourself? Could your assistant start her own program? Is it possible to create two seperate areas, and split up the group somehow?

PT baby who wails all the time...no way! Even with the assistant, I couldn't do that. That alone creates a certain amount of "vibe"!

[JaydensMommy]

I have only been doing daycare about two years. I started as a small daycare on my own with 6 children including my son. At first I took what I could get. The parents were all wonderful but I ended up with a couple of infants that cried allll day. I told my husband I couldn't do this job and I felt like quiting. I thought about how I might feel without the infants, I thought that might change things and make it sooo much easier. So for my sanity I termed both babies. Now, I only take ages two and up. I now have 12 kids ages 2-4 and a full time assistant and feel like this is something I could do for a long time. I can actually say I love my job. But had I kept those babies I'm sure I wouldn't still be doing this. So, just a suggestion but maybe only taking older kids might make things easier for you.