I Have To Improve Things, Because I Have To Stick This Out

[Ariana]

You need a new approach than just heavy handed discipline plain and simple. It seems that this is what you do and there is no changing that. I would start reading some books on behavior management and start implementing them NOW. Take a week off to read and start monday morning with your new tactics. Ask for book recommendations from people on here who have dealt with issues and came out the other side using a new approach. I wouldn't be able to do what I do without the books I've read.

It doesn't matter who you get rid of, this process will continue to repeat itself without a discipline plan other than what you're doing. Sorry that is how I feel

[My3cents]

Make changes. Sometimes when I feel like I am up against a wall or in a rut, I move things around. It helps me to get a new perspective. I look at the kids, and the ages and I alter the surroundings to fit their needs. It's very normal for kid's to run. Take them outside to burn off energy. Bundle or dress for weather and get them out. Boys especially need to move more then girls. Be one step ahead of your bunch. The baby, might not like floor time, belly time- but he needs it. Let him fuss. Put a toy out of his reach by a little and he can try to get it. I also have, a ladybug turn table- can't think of the name of it. It is for belly time. Don't be afraid to let the baby fuss while you carry on (annoying yes) but if you have done everything, you should not have to carry a child all day long. Connect with other providers in your area to get ideas and another place to vent. I understand where the stop complaining and find another career is coming from, but I think for a lot of us providers, we come here to let it out, and don't realize that we come across the way we do. I think all of us could use more positive- its that time of the year

If you want your daycare to be professional, come across that way even if you don't always feel that way. Get your policy book in place and go with it. Be consistent. If you have a waiting list and feel ok with this. Send home sick kids and tell them they can't return with out a Dr.s note- if you have a well child policy and they are sending them in sick- your right to send them home. Parent's are not going to like it. I always try to ask if a child does not look well when they come in when the last time they gave them any medicine.......then you can ask, were they running a temp etc..

Ware and tare on your home is a downside to this, be one step ahead of the culprits. Keep the kids busy and teach them. Many children don't know and home life is not the same as life within your home. They are adaptable to learning your rules. Consequences, patience, tone of voice.

If you have an assistant- expect them to help where you need it. Delegate strongly.

Figure out why your doing this and get back to the root of that. Best-

[Blackcat31]

You need a new approach than just heavy handed discipline plain and simple. It seems that this is what you do and there is no changing that. I would start reading some books on behavior management and start implementing them NOW. Take a week off to read and start monday morning with your new tactics. Ask for book recommendations from people on here who have dealt with issues and came out the other side using a new approach.

It doesn't matter who you get rid of, this process will continue to repeat itself without a discipline plan other than what you're doing. Sorry that is how I feel

There is definitely a ring of truth to what Ariana is saying about repeat behaviors and empowering yourself with knowledge

Here are a few books that are great for this:

http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Discipline-Childcare-Providers-Practical/dp/0761535675/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327505675&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/How-Handle-Difficult-Parents-Teachers/dp/1877673722/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327505828&sr=1-9

http://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Difficult-Parents-Situations/dp/1930556098/ref=pd_sim_b_6

[My3cents]

I agree- there is a time and place to terminate. Many on here are always quick to say terminate. I say deal. Figure it out. They are little people and all are different and come from different places. Work with them until you have exhausted all efforts.happyface

[Unregistered]

I agree with the others who said that children can sense when you are stressed. They can also sense when you are confident. You have to believe in yourself and that you can make things change! The children and parents will both sense your confidence.

[sharlan]

IMHO, you need to get yourself and the kids out and away from the house. Start taking daily walks with the kids to a local park, let them burn off some of that energy.

[Blackcat31]

I agree- there is a time and place to terminate. Many on here are always quick to say terminate. I say deal. Figure it out. They are little people and all are different and come from different places. Work with them until you have exhausted all efforts.happyface

That can be a dangerous thing to do when you personally know you are at your limit and cannot continue the way things are.

Provider burnout and high stress levels make a risky situation for children.

Terming is often suggested for the mental, emotional and physical health of everyone involved.

[sahm2three]

I appreciate everything said. The hard to hear stuff, and the advice. I will take some time to look it all over. I have always loved kids. I have always been the person in the gathering that ends up where the kids are to play with them, snuggle them, etc. But 10 hours a day, with kids suffering from lachadaisical parenting, it has made it hard to handle. A good friend of mine who did daycare for years warned me, it is the parents who will ruin things for you. She was 100% dead on. While I do have a couple parents that are wonderful, it is the others that are making this miserable. I am going to put an ad on CL or something and see what I can find and try to weed out some of the troublesome kids/parents. I guess in the interviews I need to ask some tough questions about their parenting styles/philosophies?

It makes me sad to think about just how negative this job has made me. I have ALWAYS been a glass half full type of gal. But I am getting so worn down. I am NOT this negative in real life. You guys are just lucky enough to get to read my raw emotions and honest reactions to things going on. And it DOES make me feel better to vent. I guess I should be more careful about how much I vent. It has just been really tough lately. The parents remind me of a teenager that you have to continually remind of the rules, and they break them over and over and find sneaky ways to get away with it.

I guess it's time to get super tough. Not really sure how to do it, but I guess whatever I do I have to be prepared to lose kids. Oh, and for the ones asking my stats, here they are:

I have 11 daycare kids. Ages are 7 (only after school), 3.5, 2.75, 2.5, 2, 1.75, 1, 1, 1, 8 mo, and 4 mo. I have a full time assistant. I have a lot of littles right now, but they are not all here every day. I have 4 part timers (the 3.5, 2.5, 2, and 4 mo). I am open from 7 AM to 5 PM. My last kids are usually picked up at 5:20. M-F.

Can't remember if there were other questions, but that is a start.

[Heidi]

SAHM_
One thing I loved about having an assistant years ago is that occasionally got to spend a little time with each child alone. I would take one for a walk each day, just that child and I for 15 minutes or so. Perhaps this is something you could do? If you have to take a baby along in a stroller to keep within ratios, that's fine, but ideally, 15 minutes of alone time with each child a couple times a week might make make everyone happier. You will bond with the children more as individuals, and they will feel more in tune with you. Being outside, appreciating nature together, can be very peaceful, too.

If you cannot leave the building for this, then take each child into your office for 15 minutes however often you can fit in. Play a game or work on a puzzle together. Let all heck break loose in the other room-the assistants can handle it for 15 minutes a day! Afterwards, make sure they get a break, too!

I would hold a parent meeting, and lay down the rules. NO kids, and attendance is mandatory if they would like to remain in your program. Tell them that the next time anyone dopes and drops, they are terminated.

Then, it's divide and conquer, baby!

Take the weekend, pay your staff to come in for a couple hours (or offer them a pizza in trade), and revamp your environment. Scale down your toys to 1 or two toys per walking child, and put them in a fairly small area. Everything else, put up on shelves, preferably were it can be seen, but not reached. Until the children earn the PRIVILEGE of using them, you dole them as trades for something they already have. IF something is being abused, it get put up. This can be the "preschool zone." Anyone who goes into that area, cleans up before they leave.

Your infants need a safe place, such as a "supergate" system, to play without being trampled or mauled. Get a big bucket, fill it with freshly cleaned infant/toddler toys, and label it "BABY TOYS". It goes into the "BABY ZONE".

So, now you have two "zones". The rest of your space, make the "gym" area. Go on a cardboard box hunt, call the local appliance store, and ask if they will give you a couple appliance boxes. More cardboard boxes of different sizes, oatmeal containers, soft balls, foam mats, etc. You could also add some silk or poly scarf squares, and acrylic mirror, and some dress up crowns in a basket.

I don't really know your space, but those are some ideas, anyway...

[cheerfuldom]

wow, you do have a lot of little ones, even with an assistant. I don't know what you are paying the assistant but perhaps it would be worth it to let her go and then drop as many kids as you can.

I mentioned terming earlier not because it is the thing that will for sure fix the situation or be some magic cure all but because we providers need to know our own limits and when to say "no more kids". Just because a person likes kids does not mean they are prepared to do daycare for 50 hours a week. Being a provider is a lot more than just liking kids. I think you need to be honest with yourself about how much you, your space and your resources can handle.

For me, my max is 6. Thats the magic number where everything flows and we are all happy on a daily basis (although occasionally issues roll around). Seems like every time I take a 7th, things start getting hairy and stressful. I can do 7 if I have too but forget about doing 8 or more. Its too much for me and I am not going to try and be super-provider and fill up the house and such. I have very close provider friends that do twice, sometimes three times as many kids and they do just fine but that is not the right scenario for me. It means cutting back on our budget and doing without but hey, I am happy and that is what is important. My kids need a happy mom and my husband needs a happy wife. You cant put a price on that.

I have had a full time assistant and more kids (actually tried out several assistants, scenarios, even two different homes!) and it just never worked for me. I have a part time assistant right now (like 4 to 6 hours a week) and that is what is right for me. It was not worth it to have a full time asst. and have to take the extra kids to pay her.

The rest of the stuff that you mentioned can get better but its never going to go away. Parents can get annoying, kids break stuff and get rowdy, babies cry....thats all a part of the deal.

[Ariana]

Here are a few books that are great for this:

http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Discipline-Childcare-Providers-Practical/dp/0761535675/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327505675&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/How-Handle-Difficult-Parents-Teachers/dp/1877673722/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327505828&sr=1-9

http://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Diffic...ref=pd_sim_b_6

You rock Blackcat!!

I have also heard good things about 1-2-3 Magic and it's what was implemented in a daycare where I worked for a kid who was out of control (luckily not in my group!)

[Blackcat31]

You rock Blackcat!!

I have also heard good things about 1-2-3 Magic and it's what was implemented in a daycare where I worked for a kid who was out of control (luckily not in my group!)

I've never used it either but have heard some good things about it too

I was checking out the web-site and you can access their newsletters and they look really helpful. http://www.parentmagic.com/classroomsolutions-view.cfm

It's worth looking into...

[sahm2three]

I've never used it either but have heard some good things about it too

I was checking out the web-site and you can access their newsletters and they look really helpful. http://www.parentmagic.com/classroomsolutions-view.cfm

It's worth looking into...

I have read the book and already use it. Thanks for the suggestion though! With some of the kids, it does help. With the ones with more severe behavioral issues, not so much.

[Ariana]

I should also add that Super Nanny has a pretty good approach to discipline as well. I use some of her ideas and have her book. I'm not a fan of time-outs so I don't do that but you might find it useful. It's always good to read a few different books because as we all know not everything works on every kid so it's good to have a few tricks up your sleeve

[Blackcat31]

I have read the book and already use it. Thanks for the suggestion though! With some of the kids, it does help. With the ones with more severe behavioral issues, not so much.

I PM'ed you too