Provider Not Doing Right WWYD?

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  • PitterPatter
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Mar 2011
    • 1507

    Provider Not Doing Right WWYD?

    I took on a client that had been calling me for at least a year trying to get in but couldn't afford my rate. Finally she decided she had enough of her other provider when she didn't pick the child up from the bus stop. Child had to walk alone the providers home a couple blocks away, (age 7). She was willing to pay the extra $100 per month to get him out of there. I took her in and my gosh the sad sad stories I have heard about the other provider. DCM wanted to report her but is afraid of retaliation so she just said her child is safe now that's all that matters.

    BUT the child and DCM have told me things that go on there that not only make me mad but that are def against regulations and abusive. Few examples are:

    The kids are only given water with meals no milk and the meal is usually mac N cheese, bologna sandwhich or spaghetti. When he saw all the things I served over the past 2 months he is shocked and comments how much he likes the different foods and he likes getting to eat more than once. He obviously didn't like brussle sprouts but he ate them anyway then begged the toddlers to eat theirs so he didn't have to. I asked why he was doing this. He said Lisa didn't allow waste. If a child didnt eat the food it would be scraped onto the other kids and so on until it was all eaten. Worse is she is on the food program so she is cheating and abusing the kids and getting paid for it! She has 10 kids and is only permitted 6 so she's probably cheating the food to save money.

    She makes the kids clean up after her dogs and cats food mess and sweep up bird feathers before they can play anything. 1 of the dogs has nipped a few dif kids but it was not reported.

    The child said the 18 yr old daughter yells, and hits kids. She pickes the toddlers up by the arm and swings and smacks their bottoms. He said the SA kids don't get hit anymore but the little ones do.

    She has babies up to SA and they are all put in 1 small playroom and left alone while she lays on her living room sofa watching TV all day. Her 18 yr old daughter will check on the kids once in a while to get a baby diaper change or give a bottle then the babies go back in the playpen and she shuts the door and leaves. They have a tv in there and toys to keep the kids busy all day. No circle time, no crafts, no music except for what they sometimes hear from the living room. There is no nap time unless a child falls asleep on his own. Kids only come out for lunch. Oh and child told me provider and her daughter "need new clothes because their boobies and stomachs always hang out"

    What do I do? There is so much more but you get the idea. I want to report her but I did not witness any of this myself and DCM isn't reporting her. Some kids tell stories but there is just so much here and it comes out at dif times so I think it's the truth for the most part. We will be into a subject and things just come up and he will say "At Lisa's house.... " WWYD?
  • Breezy
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jun 2011
    • 1271

    #2
    Omg!!!!!!! No advice but those poooooooor kids

    Comment

    • sharlan
      Daycare.com Member
      • May 2011
      • 6067

      #3
      You are a mandated reporter - make that call.

      Comment

      • Zoe
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 1445

        #4
        The worst thing that could happen is the person you report this to tells you it isn't enough to make a report. I'd definitely call and tell them what you've been told and maybe talk to mom again and get her permission to give the abuse hotline her information.

        Comment

        • Ariana
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Jun 2011
          • 8969

          #5
          Oh dear God this makes me so angry!!!! Please please please report her!!!

          Comment

          • cheerfuldom
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Dec 2010
            • 7413

            #6
            I would call and let the authorities decide what is okay or not. Keep in mind that you are getting all this info from a 4 year old. I would be more concerned about the DCM that let this go on for so long......why did she let her son stay there?!?

            Comment

            • PitterPatter
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • Mar 2011
              • 1507

              #7
              Originally posted by Zoe
              The worst thing that could happen is the person you report this to tells you it isn't enough to make a report. I'd definitely call and tell them what you've been told and maybe talk to mom again and get her permission to give the abuse hotline her information.
              That's what I am afraid of. I have made reports in the past and because I didn't witness the problem with my own eyes it could not be investigated. But the issues weren't as bad as this. I will call today and see what they say. I hate to become a 'tattle tale' if the reports are false kwim?

              Comment

              • Blackcat31
                • Oct 2010
                • 36124

                #8
                This is all hearsay. Unless you have actually witnessed these things yourself, I would consider it to be hearsay.

                I strongly suggest you persuade the person who knows this to be true to report it. If she is no longer attending then she shouldn't fear any type of retailiation.

                I have heard dozens of stories from disgruntled parents in regard to their previous providers..... I can't say for certain any of them were true.

                Comment

                • PitterPatter
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 1507

                  #9
                  Originally posted by cheerfuldom
                  I would call and let the authorities decide what is okay or not. Keep in mind that you are getting all this info from a 4 year old. I would be more concerned about the DCM that let this go on for so long......why did she let her son stay there?!?
                  Age 7. I asked her that and she said she needed care and is just a few bucks out of range for assistance and the provider only charged her $15 for a 9 hr day and $5 per day for after school care.

                  I have seen it before these providers that aren't educated or don't care get kids in by offering low prices and parents bite.

                  Comment

                  • Zoe
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 1445

                    #10
                    Originally posted by PitterPatter
                    That's what I am afraid of. I have made reports in the past and because I didn't witness the problem with my own eyes it could not be investigated. But the issues weren't as bad as this. I will call today and see what they say. I hate to become a 'tattle tale' if the reports are false kwim?
                    Don't be afraid of it. Just be honest with them. They hear this stuff all the time and will be able to make an informed decision on whether it's reportable or not. They can help you with this! You are not a tattle tale, you are doing what is right. Somebody needs to report this even if it does turn out to be inaccurate.

                    I called once about a girl who had a bruise under her eye and was saying something that sounded like "mommy did it" but I wasn't sure. I called anyway and told them that I really wasn't sure what to do. They calmed me down a lot by taking down the family's information to see if there were any prior incidents and then assured me that sometimes the child is saying "mommy fixed it" and it turns out to be nothing.

                    On the off chance there really is something going on, it's better for you to be safe than sorry.

                    Comment

                    • Ariana
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Jun 2011
                      • 8969

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Zoe
                      Don't be afraid of it. Just be honest with them. They hear this stuff all the time and will be able to make an informed decision on whether it's reportable or not. They can help you with this! You are not a tattle tale, you are doing what is right. Somebody needs to report this even if it does turn out to be inaccurate.

                      I called once about a girl who had a bruise under her eye and was saying something that sounded like "mommy did it" but I wasn't sure. I called anyway and told them that I really wasn't sure what to do. They calmed me down a lot by taking down the family's information to see if there were any prior incidents and then assured me that sometimes the child is saying "mommy fixed it" and it turns out to be nothing.

                      On the off chance there really is something going on, it's better for you to be safe than sorry.


                      I feel this child is being specific enough with details to guess that this is true. He's not saying something like "yes she hit me" he's giving detailed accounts of abusive practices that wouldn't naturally occur in a childs head. He's also spontaneously reacting to things the way someone who is abused reacts. Unless the mom is making up these elaborate stories and then getting the kid to tell them to you which is doubtful.

                      Comment

                      • wdmmom
                        Advanced Daycare.com
                        • Mar 2011
                        • 2713

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Blackcat31
                        This is all hearsay. Unless you have actually witnessed these things yourself, I would consider it to be hearsay.

                        I strongly suggest you persuade the person who knows this to be true to report it. If she is no longer attending then she shouldn't fear any type of retailiation.

                        I have heard dozens of stories from disgruntled parents in regard to their previous providers..... I can't say for certain any of them were true.
                        In my state it doesn't matter if it's hearsay. We are told in training that if you suspect anything at all to report it. Whether it is true or untrue is up to the investigators, not you.

                        I'd make the call.

                        Comment

                        • Cat Herder
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 13744

                          #13
                          If I felt strongly that there was something to the stories I'd probably call the provider and invite her to go to a super saturday conference with me. Free mandatory training hours. (I'd just pay for it myself.)

                          Depending on her response.... I'd help her turn things around OR call my inspector with a heads up and my concerns.

                          BUT I am in a small town, everyone knows me or my family and I am about the size of a typical 11 year old.... NOBODY is threatened by me....

                          Not everyone is born knowing Child Development issues or that eating off each others plate is not allowed...YKWIM? My first few years I still put their noses in the corner.... that was what I knew from childhood. The word "cruel" or "abusive" seemed laughable to me for that....
                          - Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.

                          Comment

                          • Blackcat31
                            • Oct 2010
                            • 36124

                            #14
                            I get that, I really do but in this particular situation I am only saying that as a provider we often hear so many different stories about what supposedly goes on at other daycares. If I called every time I heard one of those stories, I would be on the phone ALL the time.

                            I would be more tempted to do as Catherder said and call my licensor with my concerns rather than calling in and reporting to the CPS department.

                            I am NOT saying these examples upsetting but I would spend more time encouraging the mom to call and report. Heck, even hold her hand and walk her through the phone call while she uses your phone.

                            Comment

                            • awestbrook713
                              Mommyto3boys
                              • Aug 2011
                              • 421

                              #15
                              Is she registered? If not right there should be a reason you are calling let them discover if everything else is true on their own.

                              Comment

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