Provider Not Doing Right WWYD?

[Countrygal]

You've gotten some really good advice here. I just had one more thought. Do you have a friend that could go and "pretend" to want daycare? Could they maybe just "drop by" her house and say that they heard she did daycare and wanted to see if she had room for their child? Could they see the daycare?

If they could get in and get a tour without it being expected, there would be more than hearsay. This person is horrible IF all of this is true. I have been the victim of malicious gossip and I know how terrible it can be if it isn't true, so I would want some sort of proof, or I'd want to talk to someone else before I turned someone in. Or..... I'd just stop over myself, introduce myself, say "I understand you do daycare in the area too and was just wanting to introduce myself? Mind if I come in?"

Just another thought to add to the pot.

[countrymom]

that child is giving way too many details. I would call someone and ask them what should you do. also, see if you can drop by the providers house, if this is what is going on it needs to be reported otherwise we are going to be hearing it on the news.

[WImom]

that child is giving way too many details. I would call someone and ask them what should you do. also, see if you can drop by the providers house, if this is what is going on it needs to be reported otherwise we are going to be hearing it on the news.

I agree with this.... How sad. I know having a a 7year old myself that they can tell you what's going on and not make up stuff. I hope if this is happening that she is shut down fast.

[MN Mom]

Sounds exactly like my daycare provider from when I was little...right down to the bi*tchy 18yo daughter.... If it wasn't for my mom walking in and witnessing her spanking my 1yo brother with a paddle I would have been there a lot longer, despite me telling my mom to the best of my ability that she was mean.

I'd call and report.

[Cat Herder]

Sounds exactly like my daycare provider from when I was little...right down to the bi*tchy 18yo daughter.... If it wasn't for my mom walking in and witnessing her spanking my 1yo brother with a paddle I would have been there a lot longer, despite me telling my mom to the best of my ability that she was mean.

I'd call and report.

I am sorry that happened to you and your brother.

[SilverSabre25]

I would call and at least see what they say. Also, I would probably beg the mom to call--"Wow, Billy is telling me some terrible things about his old provider...what do you know about it?" and then if it really is true, urge her to call because seriously...that's totally warranted.

[PitterPatter]

Update

I called my licensor and he is out until next Friday. When DCM came for pick up I had a talk with her about all of the details her child filled me in on. I told her being an mandated reporter I have to report at least the spanking part for the safety of the children and I wanted to know if she felt ok to tell her own story of her own experiences because I am going to have to explain how I know this and then they will know she knew too. She said she has been thinking about it off and on and after reading the policies in my handbook there was much more wrong doing than she first thought. She said she will take the weekend and go over things and make a list and see what she can do. She said there is another parent still there that has been asking questions about how she was treated and how I am as a provider. I told her they could just be fishing but feel free to send her my way. Hell I'll take all that providers kids in if she can't treat them right. Well 2 anyway. Gotta stick to policies myself.

Thanks for all the advise ladies!! Have a great weekend!

Oh yeah I should highlight that "After I read the policies in your handbook" YES Providers SOME parents actually read our handbooks!

[juliebug]

I called my licensor and he is out until next Friday. When DCM came for pick up I had a talk with her about all of the details her child filled me in on. I told her being an mandated reporter I have to report at least the spanking part for the safety of the children and I wanted to know if she felt ok to tell her own story of her own experiences because I am going to have to explain how I know this and then they will know she knew too. She said she has been thinking about it off and on and after reading the policies in my handbook there was much more wrong doing than she first thought. She said she will take the weekend and go over things and make a list and see what she can do. She said there is another parent still there that has been asking questions about how she was treated and how I am as a provider. I told her they could just be fishing but feel free to send her my way. Hell I'll take all that providers kids in if she can't treat them right. Well 2 anyway. Gotta stick to policies myself.

Thanks for all the advise ladies!! Have a great weekend!

Oh yeah I should highlight that "After I read the policies in your handbook" YES Providers SOME parents actually read our handbooks!

Yeah glad she read the handbook!

second i so hope this provider get turned in that is just cazy. it also hits close to home my son was in a home daycare when he was an infant and my step-daughter went for 3 days. while we had her one summer. she never said anything but i did find out about 3 months later, she would put the kids in the other room with toys and leave them, then my son fell on her fire place and has a permanet scar and she never called me!!
i saw a few signs and was in the process of pulling him when he fell on the fireplace she never even called me! i came and saw it when i was picking him up
so please report her

[dave4him]

SO french fries and happy meals are bad right

[PitterPatter]

Yeah glad she read the handbook!

second i so hope this provider get turned in that is just cazy. it also hits close to home my son was in a home daycare when he was an infant and my step-daughter went for 3 days. while we had her one summer. she never said anything but i did find out about 3 months later, she would put the kids in the other room with toys and leave them, then my son fell on her fire place and has a permanet scar and she never called me!!
i saw a few signs and was in the process of pulling him when he fell on the fireplace she never even called me! i came and saw it when i was picking him up
so please report her

I am sorry that happened to your child as I am for MN Mom and her family! I just don't understand WHY people do this? They should at least be worried about being caught! My Sister had a cruel provider too and Mom never knew for years. Sis thought that's how it was supposed to be in "daycare"

SO french fries and happy meals are bad right

Well it would be a step up from "Lisa's" meals!

[meganlavonnesmommy]

It basically comes down to this....

How would you feel if tomorrow on the news you read that something horrible happened in that home and you DIDNT call and report it?

The safety of children must must must come first. Even if you have doubts, or you didnt hear or see it first hand.
You still report it, and let the authorities sort it out.

[Texasjeepgirl]

It basically comes down to this....

How would you feel if tomorrow on the news you read that something horrible happened in that home and you DIDNT call and report it?

The safety of children must must must come first. Even if you have doubts, or you didnt hear or see it first hand.
You still report it, and let the authorities sort it out.

I agree ...
Report it.
I have made several reports on one specific provider in my area..
I've had 'potential clients' contact me for child care... come to interview.. and specifically tell me.. My child went to THIS PROVIDER... I showed up to pick my child up.. provider was on the sofa.. asleep.. t.v. remote control in hand.. did not know where in the home my small child was.. .
I reported it. I know it is HEARSAY from a client leaving her care.. but... something like that should be checked out..

I hate to feel like I am 'picking on her'..but.. so many things have been told to me by clients that leave her care and are frantically searching to move their child..

The last straw was..
This provider had attended a CPR class that I hosted.. so.. she calls me one day to find out if I am hosting another class.. As we are talking.. she says... I need to get renewed... I expired such and such date. and.. after last week.. I know I will be getting inspected again..
Someone turned me in for such and such.. so child care licensing was here for random inspection.. I had this .. this.. and this wrong.. blah blah..
Then she tells me. FROM HER OWN MOUTH..
I had to go to the bank today...
so.. I sent my 11 year old son to his room.. locked him and 2 daycare children in the bedroom to watch t.v.. and told him to keep them in there.. and not to go to the front door FOR ANY REASON until I returned from the bank.... because I KNEW that if anyone came to the door... it would be licensing rep conducting another unnannounced visit...

She TOLD ME THAT HERSELF....
I just stood there on the other end of the phone line.. LISTENING..
I said.. wow.. do you think that was SAFE? OH yes.. my son is very smart.. very responsible... they just watched t.v. till I got back...

I reported her..
This was NOT HEARSAY.. she told me this information HERSELF..
It didn't matter.. she never managed to do anything WRONG enough to get shut down.... she was inspected FREQUENTLY...and had allot of various violations.. they would cite her for them.. and return more often.. (every few MONTHS)..
She actually finally shut down on her own... several months ago...
Me.. and all other local providers were so happy that we don't have to hear the stories about her ANYMORE...

[Unregistered]

This is all hearsay. Unless you have actually witnessed these things yourself, I would consider it to be hearsay.

I strongly suggest you persuade the person who knows this to be true to report it. If she is no longer attending then she shouldn't fear any type of retailiation.

I have heard dozens of stories from disgruntled parents in regard to their previous providers..... I can't say for certain any of them were true.

I agree. Parents always say horrible things about previous providers when they are unhappy. You can't make a report about what you heard 2nd hand. You have to have either witnessed or suspect it is going on from your OWN personal knowledge. The PARENT should be reporting in this case (if it's true) because she's the one with experience. It would be like me saying you're a bad provider and calling about you because of something some other parent said that may have just been a way to get me to take the kid. Now, if you get MULTIPLE parents complaining about the SAME person, that's a little different and I'd call and say "this is what 3 parents told me about this person" and they usually (depending on state) will f/u with the parents if they can. But, just be careful. I have been accused of things when I have kicked out parents. I would be PISSED if a provider called about me w/o hearing MY side of the story first.

[Unregistered]

I agree ...
Report it.
I have made several reports on one specific provider in my area..
I've had 'potential clients' contact me for child care... come to interview.. and specifically tell me.. My child went to THIS PROVIDER... I showed up to pick my child up.. provider was on the sofa.. asleep.. t.v. remote control in hand.. did not know where in the home my small child was.. .
I reported it. I know it is HEARSAY from a client leaving her care.. but... something like that should be checked out..

I hate to feel like I am 'picking on her'..but.. so many things have been told to me by clients that leave her care and are frantically searching to move their child..

The last straw was..
This provider had attended a CPR class that I hosted.. so.. she calls me one day to find out if I am hosting another class.. As we are talking.. she says... I need to get renewed... I expired such and such date. and.. after last week.. I know I will be getting inspected again..
Someone turned me in for such and such.. so child care licensing was here for random inspection.. I had this .. this.. and this wrong.. blah blah..
Then she tells me. FROM HER OWN MOUTH..
I had to go to the bank today...
so.. I sent my 11 year old son to his room.. locked him and 2 daycare children in the bedroom to watch t.v.. and told him to keep them in there.. and not to go to the front door FOR ANY REASON until I returned from the bank.... because I KNEW that if anyone came to the door... it would be licensing rep conducting another unnannounced visit...

She TOLD ME THAT HERSELF....
I just stood there on the other end of the phone line.. LISTENING..
I said.. wow.. do you think that was SAFE? OH yes.. my son is very smart.. very responsible... they just watched t.v. till I got back...

I reported her..
This was NOT HEARSAY.. she told me this information HERSELF..
It didn't matter.. she never managed to do anything WRONG enough to get shut down.... she was inspected FREQUENTLY...and had allot of various violations.. they would cite her for them.. and return more often.. (every few MONTHS)..
She actually finally shut down on her own... several months ago...
Me.. and all other local providers were so happy that we don't have to hear the stories about her ANYMORE...

In your case, the provider HERSELF gave you the dirty info about HERSELF. So yes, I would have reported her too.

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

That is absolutely HORRIBLE! If all that really is going on. What I just don't get is how could the mom know this is going on (I'm not talking simple policies like 10 children instead of 6 or something that she may not know the state laws on), but things like making the children eat food from another child's plate if they didn't eat it, or making the children all stay in one room with the door closed while the provider stays in the other, or the 18 yr old being so aggressive and rough with the children... any parent should KNOW that is NOT okay. If her 7 yr old is telling you this stuff, then if it really happend he would have told his mom as well. Meaning his mom was aware of it. But I just don't get why she wouldn't have pulled him out immediately when finding out any of it. No matter how bad she needed childcare, or how much cheaper this provider was than the other providers, she should have pulled her child out and contacted CPS long ago. Even if it meant not having childcare for her son and having to quit her job. No parent should allow that to continue happening to their child. Children come first. Above everything else. I'm not blaming the mom if she was in the dark about ALL of it, but if she knew any of the details her son told you (and surely the son told his mom while he was still at that daycare, if he told you about it after he left) then why would she leave her son in that environment?

But the main thing now is that the mom and son told you, and you did do the right thing by calling licensing. I just can't get over why she didn't pull him out before now if she knew any of this was happening.