I Don't Like Free Play

[Meyou]

Kind of like....well....herding cats. :: Sorry, I couldnt resist.

Seriously though, I am very surprised when I hear providers say free play is too difficult and causes such bad behaviors.

Free play (Here, anyway) means the ability to freely choose from a list of specifically placed and well thought out/planned activities.

The rules don't change just because the children are allowed to choose what they want to do.

Hitting, fighting, and throwing receive the same consequences whether its free play or a directed activity.

Free play IS NOT putting them in a room full of toys to have at it, or each other, while I take a "break". I am still supervising, and there to interject when need be.

I'm totally not saying any of you do this...not at all. But for me, when I hear you say it causes chaos... the only way that would happen here is if I wasn't there supervising.

So I suggest, like others have, going back to the basics....such as teaching them "how" to play, and modeling the appropriate way to do so, and looking at your environment and how the activities are set up.

I lovethis this post.

[Countrygal]

I agree that at it's heart, you have to teach kids HOW you expect them to behave during free play. It's free choice, not free reign, if that makes sense.

Be a hard a$$ for a couple days or couple weeks, making them clean up constantly, be on their best behavior, etc, and really get down and SHOW them what you expect. You may do best to start by removing the vast majority of toys in the room--leave basics and let them earn back the privilege to have the cooler stuff.

Show them, for example, what you mean by "clean" ("Jimmy, books go on the book shelf, not in the Block Box. Yes, I know that they are off the floor but that's not where they belong."...guess what conversation *I'VE* been having )...how to play toys if they need that. Show them whether or not it's okay to take the cars into the kitchen in order to make car soup (depends on your personal rules ) or shove baby dolls into the toy oven or whatever.

once they've had a couple weeks or even just a couple days of toy boot camp, you should have it much easier.

Well, I've been doing the really strict free play, 15 minutes at a time, for about two weeks now, and things are looking up! I don't want to speak too loudly or I'll jinx my day! BUT, the kids are getting better and better. It caused a BIG kerfuffle at first, including right out defiance that I had to pull the parents in on, but now, two weeks later, I can let them play for the 15 minutes without many interventions at all. Very little fighting, and when there is, the toy goes into "toy time out" for the day. (see, I AM using ideas I've gleaned on here! ) Rough play starting? Quiet spot for a few minutes until we've all calmed down. Still too rowdy? Free play ends and we begin a directed activity.

I have to say I've seen a great improvement and I'm thinking about gradually extending the free play time for one or two of them. happyfacehappyface

[spud912]

Thanks for all of the advice. Free play has improved drastically since I have learned to better handle the two children who cause 99% of the problems (one of which being my own child).

[Sunchimes]

I keep chocolate in the house at all times = Less irritated me

My husband is my unofficial, unpaid assistant. His main job is to be sure that I have chocolate available at all times. My favorite candy in the world is Valomilks. They are almost impossible to find. I haven't had one in many, many years. Somewhere, somehow, he found them. Every few days,especially after a really tough day, one magically appears on my computer table. He won't tell me where he is getting them. I've asked him to include the info in his will, you know, just in case.

[Countrygal]

Well, I've been doing the really strict free play, 15 minutes at a time, for about two weeks now, and things are looking up! I don't want to speak too loudly or I'll jinx my day! BUT, the kids are getting better and better. It caused a BIG kerfuffle at first, including right out defiance that I had to pull the parents in on, but now, two weeks later, I can let them play for the 15 minutes without many interventions at all. Very little fighting, and when there is, the toy goes into "toy time out" for the day. (see, I AM using ideas I've gleaned on here! ) Rough play starting? Quiet spot for a few minutes until we've all calmed down. Still too rowdy? Free play ends and we begin a directed activity.

I have to say I've seen a great improvement and I'm thinking about gradually extending the free play time for one or two of them. happyfacehappyface

I KNEW I'd jinx it!!! aaarrrgghhh! No free play today except outside time.

[Heidi]

My husband is my unofficial, unpaid assistant. His main job is to be sure that I have chocolate available at all times. My favorite candy in the world is Valomilks. They are almost impossible to find. I haven't had one in many, many years. Somewhere, somehow, he found them. Every few days,especially after a really tough day, one magically appears on my computer table. He won't tell me where he is getting them. I've asked him to include the info in his will, you know, just in case.

That was wise of you to think ahead like that!

Once you know it's in writing, you MIGHT want to consider a little subtle hinting. I mean, he IS safe as long as he keeps them comming...right?