I Don't Like Free Play

[spud912]

Every time I let the kids free play, it ends in a disaster. The kids either end up fighting or hurt OR they make a huge mess. They have a tendency to just dump all the toys or pull out multiple toys at the same time (and have an attention span of 1 second with that toy). I either end up "policing" (aka constant nagging) to only take out one toy at a time or I let it go and they make a disaster. The problem with nagging is that it makes me irritated very quickly, which sets the tone for the day. If I let them have at it, then they get overwhelmed at clean up time and become lazy about cleaning up. Either way, somebody always ends up in time out at the end of free time, usually for fighting over toys, being too rambunctious and hurting someone or something, not cleaning up, etc. Does anyone else have this problem?

They have free play for 30 minutes before breakfast, 45 minutes after breakfast, between tasks for ~5-10 minutes, and in the afternoon for 1 hour. The time I have an issue is the 45 minutes after breakfast. I use that time to feed the babies, change diapers, and clean up after breakfast, so I can't do planned activities with them. I suppose I could designate a specific activity for them (like blocks/puzzles/dress-up), but then that's no longer "free play." Plus, I want them to have some time out of the day where they can freely choose what they want to do. They can choose to play with the blocks/puzzles/dress-up anytime since it's always available to them, but they choose to fight over the same toys.

Suggestions?

[Unregistered]

Your room set up?

What is your room set up like? Are there specific centers or spaces where small groups can go? Are there any quiet spaces? How long have you had your toys/activities out? Are they rotated? Have you examined what the kids might be interested in? What are the ages of the kids and how many do you have?

They do need to be taught how to clean their area before they move onto the next one. Say, "Ooops, you forgot to clean your area" and redirect them back to clean up before things get to be too much to clean.

[Hunni Bee]

I think free play essentially means they play and you're not saying "we're all going to do X" or "you play with this and you play with this". I had to learn the hard way, that free play doesn't mean unsupervised play.

Sounds like your kids get plenty of free play, outside is also free play. So I'd cut out the one after breakfast, while you're doing other necessary tasks, and do as you suggested. Have them do puzzles, etc. or depending on how many kids you have, make a few boxes of "stuff" - little play sets, sticker books, markers and paper, random interesting stuff that aren't toys (bottle caps, ribbons, etc)...and rotate.

As for the other free play times, honestly, only my five year olds can handle free play without me or my assistant policing it. And they still need reminders. If your kiddos are still dumping or pulling out massive amounts of stuff without intent, then they're not ready to manage their own play time yet, and they still need you to do it, IMHO.

[kendallina]

Do you think it might help if you were to sit down with them for the first few minutes of free play before you tend to your duties. For me, it can help if I just sit down in the room, interact with those that might need some direction and just get them going. Then, they're often good for a while. Free play is extremely important and really should be a majority of their day, in my opinion, so hopefully you don't have to get rid of it. How old are the kiddos?

[daycare]

try reducing the amount of toys that you have avilable to the kids.

Next have open stations. Have the children ask you for permission to use the station.

Example:

I will have different stations set up daily......like a lego station, art station, book station, dramatic play station, science station and etc. However, I only have 3 set up at a time. Each child must ask me miss X. Can I use the art station. I will grant them permission and they must clean up any mess they made if they want to go to another station. If any of the stations cause grief, they get closed down. like today, they were fighting over glue sticks at the art station, so they got the chance to resolve the matters. Well it happened again not but 3 minutes later, so I closed down the art station. ****s that it only takes one or two, to ruin if for everyone else, but that's the way it goes.

The youngest I have is 22 months. I will give him one thing to do and when they walk away from it, I take them back to the activity and show them how to clean it up and put it away. Then I show them what to do next. If they like it, they play with it. If not, I let them show me what they want to do. But when they are done, I show them clean up and put it away.

Free play is extremely important for children. Try your best to take a few days and show them what you expect of them before you just cut them lose. I promise you that they will be totally different children....

[SilverSabre25]

I agree that at it's heart, you have to teach kids HOW you expect them to behave during free play. It's free choice, not free reign, if that makes sense.

Be a hard a$$ for a couple days or couple weeks, making them clean up constantly, be on their best behavior, etc, and really get down and SHOW them what you expect. You may do best to start by removing the vast majority of toys in the room--leave basics and let them earn back the privilege to have the cooler stuff.

Show them, for example, what you mean by "clean" ("Jimmy, books go on the book shelf, not in the Block Box. Yes, I know that they are off the floor but that's not where they belong."...guess what conversation *I'VE* been having )...how to play toys if they need that. Show them whether or not it's okay to take the cars into the kitchen in order to make car soup (depends on your personal rules ) or shove baby dolls into the toy oven or whatever.

once they've had a couple weeks or even just a couple days of toy boot camp, you should have it much easier.

[Meyou]

I agree that at it's heart, you have to teach kids HOW you expect them to behave during free play. It's free choice, not free reign, if that makes sense.

Be a hard a$$ for a couple days or couple weeks, making them clean up constantly, be on their best behavior, etc, and really get down and SHOW them what you expect. You may do best to start by removing the vast majority of toys in the room--leave basics and let them earn back the privilege to have the cooler stuff.

Show them, for example, what you mean by "clean" ("Jimmy, books go on the book shelf, not in the Block Box. Yes, I know that they are off the floor but that's not where they belong."...guess what conversation *I'VE* been having )...how to play toys if they need that. Show them whether or not it's okay to take the cars into the kitchen in order to make car soup (depends on your personal rules ) or shove baby dolls into the toy oven or whatever.

once they've had a couple weeks or even just a couple days of toy boot camp, you should have it much easier.

I agree with this. Playing is a skill they need to learn like any other. If you think about free play that way it makes it easier to understand where, what and why you need to "teach" them how to play. Spend a few days guiding them and then see how it goes.

I do agree with other than said you might want to consider structured activities during the morning time so you can keep the crazies down. Either centers or quiet things where they're sitting.

[Cat Herder]

All of my bins are attached = No dumping

Toys are rotated twice a day and few are out at any given time = No clutter/boredom

I created divided play spaces for group and individual play = No fighting

Toys are spread out evenly around the room = No bottlenecks

I purchased several of each toy = No child left out

I keep chocolate in the house at all times = Less irritated me

Even with all the pre-planning I have to adapt and rearrange almost weekly depending on what new unwanted life skill one of my crew develops (like peeling off safety locks or scaling drywall ).

It is CONSTANT work..... ::::

[AnythingsPossible]

All of my bins are attached = No dumping

Toys are rotated twice a day and few are out at any given time = No clutter/boredom

I created divided play spaces for group and individual play = No fighting

Toys are spread out evenly around the room = No bottlenecks

I purchased several of each toy = No child left out

I keep chocolate in the house at all times = Less irritated me

Even with all the pre-planning I have to adapt and rearrange almost weekly depending on what new unwanted life skill one of my crew develops (like peeling off safety locks or scaling drywall ).
It is CONSTANT work..... ::::

Love the parts in bold. Unwanted life skills. :: ::

[Ariana]

Definately re-evaluate your space. Is it welcoming and soothing or noisy with lots of distractions? Set up areas for them to play and only pull out "noisy" toys as a special activity. We only do balls and blocks at certain times. I also rotate toys weekly or bi-weekly and keep clutter to a minimum by storing everything away in accessible bins.

Fighting and general bad behavior during freeplay is a big sign of boredom. There is actually a science to setting up a room to create good play. Maybe google some ideas for inspiration.

Here's just one I found when I Googled "setting up a space for freeplay":

http://decor.kaboose.com/hooray-play.html

[Countrygal]

I agree that at it's heart, you have to teach kids HOW you expect them to behave during free play. It's free choice, not free reign, if that makes sense.

Be a hard a$$ for a couple days or couple weeks, making them clean up constantly, be on their best behavior, etc, and really get down and SHOW them what you expect. You may do best to start by removing the vast majority of toys in the room--leave basics and let them earn back the privilege to have the cooler stuff.

Show them, for example, what you mean by "clean" ("Jimmy, books go on the book shelf, not in the Block Box. Yes, I know that they are off the floor but that's not where they belong."...guess what conversation *I'VE* been having )...how to play toys if they need that. Show them whether or not it's okay to take the cars into the kitchen in order to make car soup (depends on your personal rules ) or shove baby dolls into the toy oven or whatever.

once they've had a couple weeks or even just a couple days of toy boot camp, you should have it much easier.

This is where I'm at right now with "free play". And I agree, I hate it. I avoid it as much as possible. I am going more toward directed play.

During times I am doing something else, like making lunch, I am now having them in quiet individual play.

Free time = fighting, pushing, pillow fights, tickling, running, etc. I am coming down hard and teaching them that those things are for outside play only. But I have to be available to be on top of it, so free play right now is for short bursts, only when they can have 100% of my attention, and only until they begin getting "rowdy", then it immediately ends.

I'm HOPING they catch on...... :P

[wdmmom]

All my toys are in bins/boxes or on shelves. The kids are not allowed to take more than one bin out per child and they are required to pick up the contents of that bin before the can move on to another activity. And, no dumping.

I've also eliminated all battery operated toys. I don't do noise makers or music playing toys. Those types of toys tend to get the kids more amped up.

[SandeeAR]

All my toys are in bins/boxes or on shelves. The kids are not allowed to take more than one bin out per child and they are required to pick up the contents of that bin before the can move on to another activity. And, no dumping.

Just curious, what age kids do you have?

[sariejohnston]

I really needed to hear a lot of this advice, i know i have 6 two year old kids sometimes 7 depending on the day, but they are always making a huge mess during "Free play" i can't stand it, i hate picking up after them, i thought i was being mean by telling them No dumping, and only Pick one thing to play with at a time, but now that i have read this it has made me feel much better!! i agree with one thing Free play does = fighting,kicking,running,biting,yelling, and Unnecessary noise! So i am going to take the advice as soon as they start getting loud and fighting i am just going to have them pick up and we move to a quite activity.. I need to go through my toys and everyweek add new toys in and take toys out, i also need to move things around... Right now my room is this room with the shelf up against the wall and a book case up against the wall there is no spaces for centers. and a table in the middle of the room.. so i need change!

[melskids]

All of my bins are attached = No dumping

Toys are rotated twice a day and few are out at any given time = No clutter/boredom

I created divided play spaces for group and individual play = No fighting

Toys are spread out evenly around the room = No bottlenecks

I purchased several of each toy = No child left out

I keep chocolate in the house at all times = Less irritated me

Even with all the pre-planning I have to adapt and rearrange almost weekly depending on what new unwanted life skill one of my crew develops (like peeling off safety locks or scaling drywall ).

It is CONSTANT work..... ::::

Kind of like....well....herding cats. :: Sorry, I couldnt resist.

Seriously though, I am very surprised when I hear providers say free play is too difficult and causes such bad behaviors.

Free play (Here, anyway) means the ability to freely choose from a list of specifically placed and well thought out/planned activities.

The rules don't change just because the children are allowed to choose what they want to do.

Hitting, fighting, and throwing receive the same consequences whether its free play or a directed activity.

Free play IS NOT putting them in a room full of toys to have at it, or each other, while I take a "break". I am still supervising, and there to interject when need be.

I'm totally not saying any of you do this...not at all. But for me, when I hear you say it causes chaos... the only way that would happen here is if I wasn't there supervising.

So I suggest, like others have, going back to the basics....such as teaching them "how" to play, and modeling the appropriate way to do so, and looking at your environment and how the activities are set up.