Thinking Of Terming... Maybe....What Should I Do!!

[my3ps]

I have a DC that I have had since they were 6wks. DC is now almost 1. I generally get along well with the parents and the DC is very good too.

Issues:
-late payments
-bounced checks
-late pick ups
-last child to leave (2 hours later than the rest)
-terrible communication
-sick policy issues

Just a few stories from above. They have bounced 2 checks, asked me to hold a check, had to have their mom write me a check and even their sister, forgot my payment and when I asked them to bring it to me over the weekend just didn’t show, ect. DC Mom often picks up late; even when DC dad was off by 3 and is already home and they only live 10 minutes from me. I close at 6pm and she will pick up at 6:10 or even 6:15 and proceeds to ask me a million?’s about DC's day. As of Jan. 30th I changed my closing time to 5:30pm. She tells me she will have another family member pick up but if there is an issues she will “do her best”. My family life is suffering and my kids are often late to activities because she can't get there on time. Her communication has been terrible as the months have gone on. We generally text and she will often just not respond to me, even if I ask her a direct question, but if it is something she has a question about she is easily reachable via text. She is constantly pushing the limits of my sick policy. DC had pink eye about a month or so ago she brings DC, no doctors note, expects me to give DC their first dose of antibiotics and DC is still within the first 24 hours and is contagious. Another example; she tried to bring DC back the week of Xmas when DC was still running a fever and had thrown up the day before. Lucky I put my foot down as DC dad told me he stayed home with DC that day and got a face full of puke! Today was the last straw, DC mom shows up 20 minutes before she was suppose to be to work, tells me DC has croup, no doctors note (had gone the night before). Proceeds to tell me DC is fine, is contagious just like the common cold but can attend daycare. Not knowing very much about croup, just that it is contagious; I tell her I need a doctor’s note. Had she told me this last night or even an hour before she arrived I could have done a little research, called my pediatrician and found out in fact this was the case. So I text her, tell her DC may return to daycare once I get a doctor's note. Apologize for this morning and say to bring a note in the future as making split second decisions when I don't really know all that much about an illness is not an ideal situation and so I must era on the side of caution and abide by daycare regulations. No response as usual. I could tell she was pissed at me when she left this morning. However, had she just got the dang note we wouldn’t even have had to question DC’s attendance! Final thing DC has to go out on temporary leave within the coming months. DC will probably be out for 6-8, maybe even 10 weeks. I require 50% tuition to hold a spot. I doubt they will be able to pay the payment as they are having problems doing this now and DC mom is working. I can’t imagine they will be fine when she is on leave w/o pay.

Again, I love the DC and for the most part the parents are super nice, with the exceptions above. I am just not assertive when it comes to anything. Honestly, I even get really bad anxiety when I need to speak to someone about just about anything. I often let people take advantage of me and have a hard time cutting ties and setting limits. So would the above give you all grounds for terming? Maybe giving some clear guidelines and address the issues with them (I have to admit this option would cause me more stress).

Thanks for your input.

[mismatchedsocks]

They have been with you 6 weeks? What is there set pick up time in contract? If dad is off a 3 why cant he pick up?

What is your contract state about late fees for showing up late? Mine is $1 a minute.

What does your contract state about late fees for payment? Mine is one bounced check then they must pay cash. Also there is a $20 a day late fee if they dont pay on time. So if they "forget" on Friday they owe $20 for Saturday, $20 for Sunday before care on Monday.

What does your contract say about doctor note? Mine says 24 hours with no fever, 24 hours with no throw up, doctor note with any medicine and statement saying is not contagious and when can return to daycare. Doctor note with anything like pink eye, croup, etc. If they were to bring with these things WITHOUT telling me, its grounds for termination.

[safechner]

It is time to give her a terminate letter by tomorrow. It sounds like you have so many problems with her. It is not worth to deal with her almost everyday. Good Luck!

[small_steps]

A major factor for me would be the fact that they are making you late for your kids activities. Out of everything they do, that always bothers me the most because then it's not just affecting me but my family.
I would either have a very serious and stern conversation with her and maybe tell her the next time you will terminate or go ahead and terminate.

[my3ps]

They have been with me since DC was 6wks and DC is almost one now. Pretty much everything you posted you have in your contract is the same in mine. Late fees are also $1 a minute with the first 5 minutes being a grace period.

Fees for payment? $10 a day and 2 bounced checks with a $35 fee than cash.

Same sick: doctor note with any medicine and statement saying is not contagious and when can return to daycare. Doctor note with anything like pink eye, croup, etc.


It's my fault for not adhering to my own late fees (it's my first year and again I am a pushover). The bounced ck fees I did charge them. I sent out a letter recently stating that as of the beginning of the year I would be following all fees listed in the contract. And what do you know she was the only one who didn't pay me on Tuesday (I said Tuesday was okay due to the holidays) when they returned from break. I actually had to ask her for it on Wednesday. She was also 35 minutes late Tuesday night, but the weather was kinda bad and she called, so I was going to give her a break on that.

So how do you request your fees? Hand them a invoice?

[wdmmom]

I would term. A parent that has already presented that many problems to you will continue to do so.

I am hoping that come June 2012 I will change my closing time to 5pm. I have no doubt that may hinder my ability to get more kids but all my kids are gone by 5pm but 1 anyway. I'm willing to take the chance.

[cheerfuldom]

Write a termination letter and itemization of fees. Make sure that the end date is clear as well as the day that all fees are due by.

My kids ALWAYS come first. I would never let my daycare families get in the way of that. I would term.

[mismatchedsocks]

Since you are starting year fresh, I say stick to it or terminate. I have a print out in front that I fill in blank.


________________________ owes $ _____________________ due to __________________ (write in late payment date, late pick up date etc)______________________. This is due before I will accept child into care. Due date __________________________.


X____________________________________________ ( their signature)

X_____________________________________________ ( your signature)


Then when they pay give them a receipt

So and so paid $___ for _____ on this date.

Make copies of each to keep for your file.

[bgmeyers]

I wouldn't keep a family like this. No way

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I wouldn't keep a family like this. No way

Me either. I had to let one go for the very fact that i missed my daughters everything.

One time I asked her to be here at 5;30 so I could go to a P-T confrence and she asked me what time it was at? I sad 6pm. She snickered at me and said, good luck with that

My hubby was hiding in the kitchen, came around the corner and told her to be here at 5:30 or find another daycare.

She found another daycare. A daycare centre!

[mismatchedsocks]

Its easy to say just terminate which if the provider stuck to the late fees, sick policies and enforced the closing time then most likely this would be nipped in the butt. IF it still happened AFTER setting all the rules, enforcing them and charging them THEN i would terminate.

If any of MY daycare parents pulled any of this they would be gone, but they know what is allowed and what is not. Late pick ups are not allowed, sickness being masked is not allowed. I have had one family pay me $60 for one day because mom/dad decided to go for dinner before picking child up, I close at 5pm, i called them at 5pm, they were an hour away headed back from dinner. They did not let me know ahead of time, they paid $60 before I would watch child again.
I had a mom send child after giving cough medicine, tylenol and had vicks rubbed on chest. I smelled the vicks and asked about it, she said she puts on child at night. Child was 4....told me mom put on her in morning and gave her medicine when she got up that morning. At about 9am the girl was burning up, i called mom. She told me she had a meeting that she had to go to, couldnt miss so drugged her up so she could stay a few hours. I terminated on the spot.

[my3ps]

Good points. I should be adhering to all my policies. The only policies I didn't follow were the late payment fees and late pick up fees. They were assessed the bounced check fees. I have been following the sick policy, except for the pink eye incident (which she had a doctors note stating that DCK was able to return to care).

Its easy to say just terminate which if the provider stuck to the late fees, sick policies and enforced the closing time then most likely this would be nipped in the butt. IF it still happened AFTER setting all the rules, enforcing them and charging them THEN i would terminate.

I think I am going to give it one more month. Start strictly enforcing all the fees and see how it all goes. I am also going to either speak with her directly about the issues or send her an email/letter. I am not very good speaking in person and find letters are easier to get my points across. Do you feel an email/letter addressing these issues would be too impersonal?

[DaisyMamma]

Yes, you need to communicate that all of these problems are making you consider termination and put them on probation. Tell them they need to pay in cash on time and charge them late fees

[my3ps]

So this morning she shows up doctor's note in hand and practically threw it at me before she even set foot in my house. I could clearly see she was pissed about the day before. I was still on the fence as to if I was going to give her the letter or just speak briefly with her about a few of the issues. After the coldness I felt from her this morning I decided to go the letter route.

Okay here is the letter I handed her this morning...guess we will see how she responds when she picks him up. She may just hand me a term letter in return..


Hi DCM,

I needed to speak with you regarding a few concerns I have. Outlined below are topics that I would very much like to speak with you further about, either in person or by phone, as well as any that you may be having. Often times at drop off and pickup we are distracted and it really isn’t an ideal time to hold a conversation. Our communication is important to me. I felt the easiest way to express my concerns was by way of a letter.

Again, communication is extremely important for both parties, and as of late I feel there has been a lack of communication. If text messages are not a convenient way to communicate I would be happy to call or email you. If texts are the most convenient method of communication, than I ask that you please try to acknowledge and respond to all of my texts. Absences due to sickness must be communicated prior to 8am, per the contract. I would greatly appreciate it if you could also offer updates regarding the status of any illnesses. Having a full understanding prior to his arrival will allow me to grasp the scope of any issues he may have. This could have potentially helped me make a more informed decision on his attendance yesterday.

I will be glad to resume giving you daily progress sheets for DCB. I will be honest; I stopped doing them for two reasons. 1. I would often see several days’ worth of the sheets stuffed in his diaper bag. I felt like I was bombarding you with a ton of paper that you weren’t really interested in keeping long term. 2. Since I had started to spend several minutes after you arrived going over and sharing stories regarding DCB’s day, I felt the personalized recap was a more preferred method for you to gain a perspective of his day-to-day activities. Doing the daily sheets would most likely result in a more streamlined departure but would also likely provide less in-depth info. I can also look into possibly emailing you a standard form prior to your departure from work, especially if your mom will be the one picking him up most days.

I wanted to address a few things regarding my sick policy. A doctor’s note must be produced for every illness DCB is seen for at the doctor’s office. I must strictly follow my sick policy. I can understand the burden that missing work may place on you, however, this is why I mention in my contract that backup care for daycare is needed and it is expected that you have this. If I were to bend for one family I would be obligated to do it for everyone. I would, and have, requested the same from my other daycare families. Please remember this is for the protection of all parties involved. This policy may one day keep DCB safe and healthy, which is ultimately my sole reason for adhering to this specific policy.

As stated in the cover letter for the new contract I sent out prior to break, all fees associated with the late payments, NSF checks and late/early pickups will be assessed and due prior to DCB’s return to daycare. I understand that life is busy and sometimes we all forget things, however, this is a means of income for me and my family relies on it to help pay our household bills. This week a late fee of $10 will be assessed for paying 1 day late. I will be waving the late pickup fees for Tuesday evening as the weather was something that slowed a lot of people down and was out of your control. I wanted to mention that I have adopted a new payment option, which you should be receiving an email about soon. This option could make payments easier, and there’ll be no additional fees to use it. (I signed up for the Minute Menu online pay program)

I very much LOVE taking care of DCB. He is sweet, smart, very cute and overall just a joy to be around. I want us to have an open line of communication and strive to work together to do the very best for DCB. Please feel free to address any concerns with me that you may have. I understand that some of my policies may not work 100% for your family, and as such have tried to give ample notice with any major changes; but ultimately you must do what is best for your family as must I. I want to continue to offer the best care possible for your family. DCB has a special place in my heart.

Sincerely,

Me

[JenNJ]

Issues:
-late payments
-bounced checks
-late pick ups
-last child to leave (2 hours later than the rest)
-terrible communication
-sick policy issues

Just a few stories from above. They have bounced 2 checks, asked me to hold a check, had to have their mom write me a check and even their sister, forgot my payment and when I asked them to bring it to me over the weekend just didn’t show, ect. DC Mom often picks up late; even when DC dad was off by 3 and is already home and they only live 10 minutes from me. I close at 6pm and she will pick up at 6:10 or even 6:15 and proceeds to ask me a million?’s about DC's day. As of Jan. 30th I changed my closing time to 5:30pm. She tells me she will have another family member pick up but if there is an issues she will “do her best”. My family life is suffering and my kids are often late to activities because she can't get there on time. Her communication has been terrible as the months have gone on. We generally text and she will often just not respond to me, even if I ask her a direct question, but if it is something she has a question about she is easily reachable via text. She is constantly pushing the limits of my sick policy. DC had pink eye about a month or so ago she brings DC, no doctors note, expects me to give DC their first dose of antibiotics and DC is still within the first 24 hours and is contagious. Another example; she tried to bring DC back the week of Xmas when DC was still running a fever and had thrown up the day before. Lucky I put my foot down as DC dad told me he stayed home with DC that day and got a face full of puke! Today was the last straw, DC mom shows up 20 minutes before she was suppose to be to work, tells me DC has croup, no doctors note (had gone the night before). Proceeds to tell me DC is fine, is contagious just like the common cold but can attend daycare. Not knowing very much about croup, just that it is contagious; I tell her I need a doctor’s note. Had she told me this last night or even an hour before she arrived I could have done a little research, called my pediatrician and found out in fact this was the case. So I text her, tell her DC may return to daycare once I get a doctor's note. Apologize for this morning and say to bring a note in the future as making split second decisions when I don't really know all that much about an illness is not an ideal situation and so I must era on the side of caution and abide by daycare regulations. No response as usual. I could tell she was pissed at me when she left this morning. However, had she just got the dang note we wouldn’t even have had to question DC’s attendance! Final thing DC has to go out on temporary leave within the coming months. DC will probably be out for 6-8, maybe even 10 weeks. I require 50% tuition to hold a spot. I doubt they will be able to pay the payment as they are having problems doing this now and DC mom is working. I can’t imagine they will be fine when she is on leave w/o pay.

Again, I love the DC and for the most part the parents are super nice, with the exceptions above. I am just not assertive when it comes to anything. Honestly, I even get really bad anxiety when I need to speak to someone about just about anything. I often let people take advantage of me and have a hard time cutting ties and setting limits. So would the above give you all grounds for terming? Maybe giving some clear guidelines and address the issues with them (I have to admit this option would cause me more stress).

Thanks for your input.

See bolded for answer. TERM THEM. They are only "nice" because you allow them to walk all over you! You are stressed, you family is suffering, and YOU are the only one who can control that!

There will always be another family to sign, but your family is the only one you've got -- SO PUT THEM FIRST! Including yourself!