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Yep, I agree with the article. I think most people do feel the way the article says. Most people - especially woman - probably won't admit it, but I think the article is right.
Personally, I think things should have stayed a bit more like it was when all the men worked and all the woman took care of the kids and house. It seemed like a simpler time and more family oriented, less stress, etc.Comment
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ok, so do "we" dislike these children BECAUSE their mother work or because they have bad behaviors (assumably because their parents don't give them enough time).
Again, when I was a child, my parents told me I "ruined my eyes" by sitting too close to the tv. Never occured to them that I sat too close to the tv because I had poor eyesight!
All of us who have been in this business for a long time see how our dc families struggle to spend enough time with their children, and often compensate for that by buying them everything or not offering discipline. This is, of course, not every family. But being disrespectful, aggressive, or destructive sure makes it hard to "like" a child, even though we might want to!Comment
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Those days are over. I honestly feel that women entering the workforce started the decline of the American family as our ancestors knew it. IMHO, it wasn't a good move. Growing up, none of my friends' mothers worked, only mine. I don't think my mom would have been a good SAHM.
Do I look down on working mothers and their children, NO WAY. I have great respect for most of the mothers I worked for/with. I tried it and nearly had a nervous breakdown. I couldn't do it. The majority of mothers that I worked for were fantastic, involved, loving mothers. I respected them and loved their children.Comment
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I'd love to see the original study. I wonder who they asked these questions of?
The majority of my kids' friends mothers worked outside the home, and I don't recall thinking or feeling anything negative about the kids or their mothers.Comment
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I logged out so as not to possibly give away who I am or the families I care for.
I judge working moms who spend a total of 3 hours at work per day but their kids are in daycare for 8 hours per day. They "run errands" for 5 hours a day! I personally don't get it. I take care of a child fulltime and her mom works a total of 15 hours per week.
For the moms who are not SAHM material I TOTALLY get that!! Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHP. We don't expect it of men. I think a lot of womens kids are better off in daycare because they make friends, have things to do and play with and are with caregivers that like what they do (for the most part). I also get that many many women HAVE to work. They have no choice, or their careers will take a major hit if they took time off.
My SIL just recently had a baby and took her 3 yr old out of daycare to take care of him. I felt sooooo bad for him staying at home with mom and a baby. Some kids need daycare!! My friend just got her PhD and then got pregnant with triplets. She decided not to stay at home eventhough they could afford it. I think she made the right decision because her career would have suffered which in the long run would be bad for the whole family.
I chose to stay at home because financially I was able to do it and I WANTED to do it. Not everyone has that type of personality or the financial freedom. I take care of kids for extra money for the home and for playmates for my daughter.Comment
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I lost my job in a mass lay-off and eventual closure of my workplace so I thought I'd "try" home daycare for a year or two...24 years later, I still love it and I am ecstatic that I stayed with it because not only was my stepson able to be here more, HIS kids have grown up with me here and I have enjoyed every second of the closeness that we have.
I think that there are certainly many women who would not make good SAHMs...and there are others who I wonder WHY they had kids in the first place because they don't seem to enjoy them, don't want to be with them any more than necessary and almost act like they hate them!
My mom AND dad were home because we had a farm and although my mom was a SAHM, she worked her butt off as did my dad ...we NEVER had a babysitter and the rare times we couldn't stay with my mom, we went to Grandma's and stayed with them..
My mom ,to this day ,expresses her guilt at not having more time with us but I can't actually remember any times that we felt like we didn't have enough time with her...she was always there when we needed her and we spent more time with our parents than most kids...
My younger sister is a SAHM and when her kids was younger I advised her to be sure to have them in a playgroup or some activity to be with other kids because it's not doing them any favours in not having them with other kids or having another adult supervising or caring for them at least some of the time...when they start school it's too difficult if they've never been around other kids or had a different adult telling them what to do, etc.
I have a lot of respect for working moms because I really don't know how they manage it all...I have kids here from 7 a.m. to 5:30 p.m and I couldn't imagine finishing my "work" day and then having to start in on all the things that need to be done after that when you have kids...kudos to the working moms!!Comment
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I found this article interesting because as a SAHM I was looked down upon by many. I had my children fairly late in life and wasn't about to pass them on to someone else to raise. This was my choice.
Working Moms CHOOSE to work instead of raising their children.
Everyone does what they feel is best for their family. I don't dislike the children of working moms but I do feel sorry for some of them.
Some Mothers go through so much trouble to bring home a mere $100.00 per week when they could just skip a few manicures and salon appointments, cook themselves, clip coupons and stay home with their children.
When the almighty buck is more important than being a Mother, that's a problem IMHO.Comment
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Wow. Moms can't win with this crowd can they?
If they stay home and don't have enough money, we (as a group) jump on them for living off the system. If they work for a little money, they are chastised for putting money before their children's well being. If they make a large salary, they are crucified for being cold and choosing to work instead of staying home.
FACT -- in MOST families both parents HAVE TO WORK in order to survive. I am a parent who has to work in order to provide my children with the lifestyle I CHOOSE for them. The cost of housing, food, and health care has risen exponentially and the rate of pay has not caught up (and probably won't ever). It is simply not feasible for every mother to stay home. And not every mother should.
I am really disgusted with some of the opinions in this thread. Parents shouldn't be judged on their own personal choices! You never know the reasons behind a persons personal decisions. Ever. To judge on such a small detail as working is just short sighted and asinine.
And last time I checked, women are not the only part of the parenting! Dads play an equally important role in the lives of children and yet none of the judgement falls on them for "choosing" to work.
It is easy to romanticize days of past where Father went to work and Mother tended the home and raised the children. But domestic and child abuse was not only rampant, but widely accepted. If a man was having an affair it was often known and ignored because women had little options in the work force. Any job she did get would not pay enough to raise a family. Equal opportunity in the work force is a WONDERFUL thing. It gives women choices and a voice that we never before had. That is the kind of world I want my kids to grow up in.
As far as the decline of the American family -- I would rather have families of all types and sizes -- gay couples, divorced parents, single parents, grandparents/extended family/friends working as a unit then EVER go back to a world where one group of people is helpless to provide for their family. The "decline" of the American family is a fallacy. Our families are just as strong as they ever were and will continue to be strong as long as we (as a people) continue to accept that "family" isn't a black and white definition. Family is a group of people who CHOOSE to be together and love one another. A mother, father, and children do not make a family. Choosing each and every day to love, care, and do what is best for who you love is what makes a family.Comment
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I think we dislike the children of working mothers BECAUSE by both the parents working or if the child's being raised by a single parent and that one parent is working, typically, the child is not getting the attention and teaching that they need from the parent which makes them need more from us as childcare providers. Also, oftentimes, either the parent is too tired after work and too busy making dinner, doing household chores, bath and bed or the parent feels gulty of not being there as much for their child, so instead of teaching the child properly and disciplining the child, they let them get away with bad bahavior and ruling the house instead of properly parenting the child.
Whereas a parent who stays home with their child has enough time to balance household chores, personal time, and time for children. So they can take the time to be the 'mean parent' and discipline the child as well as be the 'nice parent' and have fun time with the child.
So, it's not the child's fault at all. It's lack of hours left in the day and the parent already being worn out from work after the parent has been out to work.
Then again, I have worked almost every day of my children's lives, and I have always found time after work - whether I worked out of the house or did home daycare. I have done home daycare, worked 3 different daycare centers, worked for a cleaning service, owned my own cleaning service, and even been the manager of a hotel as a single mother! And still found the time in the evenings and on weekends to discipline my children, have fun with them, do preschool work with them, do projects with them - like cooking together, arts and crafts, etc., take them to the park, library, etc. keep the house clean, meals cooked etc. So, maybe it's just that some parents are not able to organize their time well or don't want to be bothered. Because I have almost always worked and been a dang good parent at the same time. Hmmm.... why can't many parents do both?Comment
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