Do We Dislike The Children Of Working Mothers

[cheerfuldom]

i don't care what path a family chooses as long as they are there for their kids. Not every SAHM is wonderful just because she is physically present. i know one SAHM who "tv trains" her kids (that is her word, not mine). Her goal is to have her 6 month old able to watch a 2 hour movie without crying for anything. She is very focused on socializing and such and even held her daughter back from kinder because she did not want to homeschool her yet, too much trouble (the older one is homeschooled). I don't know all her situation but what I do know is that in some cases, mom going back to work and kids going to a safe, structured environment would be better.

[beachgrl]

I definitely agree with the last part of what you said but not necessarily the first part. Just because a mom stays home doesn't make her anymore mom of the year, a disciplinarian, or spend more time with her kid than working moms.

As a former teacher, some of the best kids I had in my class were from working moms and stay at home moms but I will say that some of the worst were with sahm, the lack of boundaries or discipline and teaching children right from wrong has little to do with time spent and more on parenting style or lack thereof. I see many cases where the parents try to make sure their kid is always happy even when they are being horrendous,they will do just about anything or let the kids by with anything as long as they are crying or pitching a fit..it's what I call the generation of no boundaries/respect and I really winder how the world is going to be when all the entitled kids who are not taught boundaries have kids and are even more lax.

I don't mind being the place the kids spend their time while mom is working if they have a happy, fun and engaging place to spend their day a lot of them get more interaction in childcare than at home with the other kids and bc their are structured activities. I'm also one of those who believes you should spend the time with your kids that you are able but it's the quality, not quantity of that time that matters most to those kids.

I think we dislike the children of working mothers BECAUSE by both the parents working or if the child's being raised by a single parent and that one parent is working, typically, the child is not getting the attention and teaching that they need from the parent which makes them need more from us as childcare providers. Also, oftentimes, either the parent is too tired after work and too busy making dinner, doing household chores, bath and bed or the parent feels gulty of not being there as much for their child, so instead of teaching the child properly and disciplining the child, they let them get away with bad bahavior and ruling the house instead of properly parenting the child.

Whereas a parent who stays home with their child has enough time to balance household chores, personal time, and time for children. So they can take the time to be the 'mean parent' and discipline the child as well as be the 'nice parent' and have fun time with the child.

So, it's not the child's fault at all. It's lack of hours left in the day and the parent already being worn out from work after the parent has been out to work.

Then again, I have worked almost every day of my children's lives, and I have always found time after work - whether I worked out of the house or did home daycare. I have done home daycare, worked 3 different daycare centers, worked for a cleaning service, owned my own cleaning service, and even been the manager of a hotel as a single mother! And still found the time in the evenings and on weekends to discipline my children, have fun with them, do preschool work with them, do projects with them - like cooking together, arts and crafts, etc., take them to the park, library, etc. keep the house clean, meals cooked etc. So, maybe it's just that some parents are not able to organize their time well or don't want to be bothered. Because I have almost always worked and been a dang good parent at the same time. Hmmm.... why can't many parents do both?

[mac60]

I didn't have time to read all of the post or the article. That being said......My grandma raised 12 kids, if she was alive today, she would be 100 yrs old. I would not wish the inconveniences she had to deal with as her children grew up on anyone. She washed 14 peoples clothes with a washboard and or wringer washer. Hung 14 peoples clothes out to dry. Cooked 3 times a day for 14 people. Make her own bread. Gardened, canned, sewed clothing/bedding. I am sure my grandma worked much much harder at her job of being a mom and housewife back in the day than any of us ever work. My grandma was darn good at what she did. She did not allow disrespect, poor behavior, and all the other crap that parents allow their children today, then blame it on the "Mother's working syndrome", right there with the "Entitlement Syndrome" in my book. JMO here.

[permanentvacation]

Beachgirl,

You're right, even though a stay at home mom HAS more time to do so, it doesn't mean that she CHOOSES TO USE her time to be a more involved parent.

[Springdaze]

Here's what I replied to the article!

I dont like moms who dont work cuz Im jealous! I would love to sit at home and spend all my husbands money buying things on the internet!

I know its not always true, but Im generalizing like the article!