My Own Child.... Chores...

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • krissy_mo
    New Daycare.com Member
    • Dec 2011
    • 16

    #16
    Originally posted by Meyou

    Now in your case mama it sounds like the amount of dishes is overwhelming to your dd. Maybe she could do plates, cups, cutlery etc and you or your dh can do the pots?

    ***this is more how we do it.... if it's just a small pot that had green beans in it, she washes it, but anything "cooked on" or "baked on" I handle, plus I wash anything heavy and slippery like my crock pot. Oh, and we use paper plates a lot for 1-2 meals, so usually dishes aren't as overloaded as you think. Plus, I help her get the stuff "readied" up... and get her on the right track with all of us scraping dishes into trash and starting her out by rinsing the heavy stuff. Plus I handle the counters and stove and food put away. So, her actual job isn't difficult.**

    But, I don't think expecting one chore out of her every day is asking too much at 10... or even last year or the year before.

    She isn't responsible for anything else except school work and helping pick up toys/stuff when asked. She is also home schooled, so she has a lot more time in her day than public school kids. Her studies usually last 2 1/2 hours for the "heavy" stuff and then another hour or two of fun projects, lessons, etc... depending on the week and what she wants to do. The only other thing she's doing right now is helping at children's church every other Sunday, and practicing violin a couple times a week.

    I hated dishes at her age too, but I remember doing them every day, too.

    Comment

    • familyschoolcare
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Jun 2011
      • 1284

      #17
      Op.

      At my house we had a period of time when the children did not have chores or an alounance and it resently started up again. When I started them both

      up again this time I sat down with the children and pointed out the things that they are expected to do everyday with out getting paid, Keep room

      clean ect. Then I asked each child seperately starting with the youngest how much aloiunce they thought they should get a week. Then I asked each child

      seperatly what they thought they should do to earn the X dollars a week they whant. We "negotated" from their. Then I created a chart and if they do

      not do a choir they get docked some pay.


      Now I know my youngest is older than your child but maybe something like thise might help, get the child envolved in what chores they do and how

      often. Just because you ask for a child's enput or opinion does not mean you have to argee with it just use it as a starting point for negotions. (great life skill)

      Comment

      • Zoe
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 1445

        #18
        I think it's awesome that you give your child a certain chore to do. It teaches responsibility. I do agree with the others that maybe she just needs some supervision for a few days until she gets it right again. Not really ordering her what to do, but more be in the kitchen with her doing something else while she's doing the dishes.

        Comment

        • KBCsMommy
          Licensed Daycare Provider
          • Jul 2011
          • 392

          #19
          How did my daughter get to your house???!!! Im so sorry she was acting like that!!!!!! J/K ::

          All my kids do chores even my 3 yr old son. My daughters alternate every week doing dishes, vacuming, sweeping, trash duty, and taking care of all their animals. Dog Cat and Bunny! My son feeds the dog and sets the silverware and napkins for dinner, I give him a quarter or whatever change I have and he thinks its the greatest!!!

          If they dont do it right the first time they have to do it again too....and believe me I get the dirtiest looks from my 10 yr old!!! Holy Cow!!!

          I believe children learn from doing, and they feel more empowered and confident knowing they can do for themselves and dont have to depend on adults for everything.

          Comment

          • MarinaVanessa
            Family Childcare Home
            • Jan 2010
            • 7211

            #20
            Originally posted by Meeko60

            And now people think that making a child do the dishes right is too much?

            And we wonder why we are raising generations of ungrateful, self-centered, entitled kids.

            I say good for you! Your daughter will appreciate it later even if she complains now.
            I'm with you 100%. 10 years old is old enough to know how to wash dishes properly. I agree with Solandia when she said that she's doing it on purpose. I saw a movie that my DD was watching (Diary of a Whimpy Kid) and the big brother teaches the little brother how to lower their parents expectations and how to get out of doing chores by doing the chores badly (like washing the car with oily rags) which would make the parents want to do the job themselves . I told my DD that if she got any ideas she was in for a rude awakening because she'd be doing the chore over and over again until she did it right. Of course my DD is 7 and her chores are to pick up after herself, take out the trash in her room and occasional dust with a feather duster, bt she got the point.

            I'm with you krissy_mo. Sounds like my style of parenting.

            Comment

            • Unregistered

              #21
              Originally posted by familyschoolcare
              Op.

              At my house we had a period of time when the children did not have chores or an alounance and it resently started up again. When I started them both

              up again this time I sat down with the children and pointed out the things that they are expected to do everyday with out getting paid, Keep room

              clean ect. Then I asked each child seperately starting with the youngest how much aloiunce they thought they should get a week. Then I asked each child

              seperatly what they thought they should do to earn the X dollars a week they whant. We "negotated" from their. Then I created a chart and if they do

              not do a choir they get docked some pay.


              Now I know my youngest is older than your child but maybe something like thise might help, get the child envolved in what chores they do and how

              often. Just because you ask for a child's enput or opinion does not mean you have to argee with it just use it as a starting point for negotions. (great life skill)

              I feel some things are not up for negotiations. You live in our house, you help out. We are the parents and we decide what works best for us as a whole. Respect,caring for your home,work ethic,team work, discipline are better life skills to teach then negotiating. Negotiating comes easy to most. We all try to take the easy way out of work. It takes all of us helping out to make our home run smooth. Hard work never hurt anyone and learning to do things right. Way to go- I would explain to her if you don't clean them well you can make everyone sick in our family, so please do it the right way and check them well to make sure they are clean the first time so your not doing them over again.

              Having a dishwasher doesn't make much of a difference, because then you have to scrape the plates,load it and unload it and that can be just another task no one wants to do too.

              Comment

              • familyschoolcare
                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                • Jun 2011
                • 1284

                #22
                Originally posted by Unregistered
                I feel some things are not up for negotiations. You live in our house, you help out. We are the parents and we decide what works best for us as a whole. Respect,caring for your home,work ethic,team work, discipline are better life skills to teach then negotiating. Negotiating comes easy to most. We all try to take the easy way out of work. It takes all of us helping out to make our home run smooth. Hard work never hurt anyone and learning to do things right. Way to go- I would explain to her if you don't clean them well you can make everyone sick in our family, so please do it the right way and check them well to make sure they are clean the first time so your not doing them over again.

                Having a dishwasher doesn't make much of a difference, because then you have to scrape the plates,load it and unload it and that can be just another task no one wants to do too.
                I think you missed the main point I was making.


                My main point was to envovle the child in what part of the family resposibilities she would like to help with instead of saying you are part of

                this family so you will do the dishes, say you are part of this family how are you going to contribute to the family.

                Comment

                • themoorethemerrier
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Sep 2011
                  • 159

                  #23
                  :: Too much responsibility? Whoa, mama, don't come to my house - we live on a farm in a home of 6. Everyone contributes here, even my 2 year old - free rides are for the weak.

                  My girlies were having the same problem with dishes; they would make a three minute chore last for an hour because they hated it so much! I can sympathize so we Mary Poppin-ize our chores if we can. We started to plan the chore to fall on a favorite radio program like The Pond or Adventures in Odyssey, put in tapes or CD like Jungle Jam or audio books, or even just some favorite music. It usually becomes a "buddy" chore because we enjoy listening to these together.

                  Comment

                  • Country Kids
                    Nature Lover
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 5051

                    #24
                    Originally posted by themoorethemerrier
                    :: Too much responsibility? Whoa, mama, don't come to my house - we live on a farm in a home of 6. Everyone contributes here, even my 2 year old - free rides are for the weak.

                    My girlies were having the same problem with dishes; they would make a three minute chore last for an hour because they hated it so much! I can sympathize so we Mary Poppin-ize our chores if we can. We started to plan the chore to fall on a favorite radio program like The Pond or Adventures in Odyssey, put in tapes or CD like Jungle Jam or audio books, or even just some favorite music. It usually becomes a "buddy" chore because we enjoy listening to these together.

                    That is a great idea!!!! I was actually thinking of looking for a replica of a vintage radio from the 30's or back further that played cd's and tapes. I think one would look nice in my livingroom and we could hear it in the kitchen. Also, they have replica's of the old phones with the cords and you dialed it with the little wheel thing. For the life of me I can't think of what those phones where called. Anyway they have them know but they are cordless, but look really cool. I was thinking of buying one of those also. I'm going back in time not forward. Love vintage things!
                    Each day is a fresh start
                    Never look back on regrets
                    Live life to the fullest
                    We only get one shot at this!!

                    Comment

                    • daycare
                      Advanced Daycare.com *********
                      • Feb 2011
                      • 16259

                      #25
                      I am all for making children learn to do chores, but this seems a bit excessive for a 10 year old. I understand your point and reasoning, but I think it is a little much.

                      Comment

                      • Unregistered

                        #26
                        Originally posted by familyschoolcare
                        I think you missed the main point I was making.


                        My main point was to envovle the child in what part of the family resposibilities she would like to help with instead of saying you are part of

                        this family so you will do the dishes, say you are part of this family how are you going to contribute to the family.
                        no I get what you are saying. I think that leaves to much room for negotiations. It's ok to expect more from our kids and not have to reason for everything we ask. We live here, we all help, this is what I need for you to do, and I expect you to do this chore the way I showed you how, because you are capable. Not coming off as a drill Sargent but as a parent who is asking a reasonable request.

                        I personally would have stood next to the child on the third attempt to make sure they were doing it right if possible. This child is not being abused, she is simply being asked to do something right and finding out the consequence of what happens when you don't do it right. You have to do it again.

                        but if that works for you, then great. Picking my battles has been half the battle and that is from years of experience. If I was going to expect this child to have the dishes as her chore, then I would have done the same thing. If I am going to be wishy washy and let her have her way of not doing them then I would have just let it pass and fixed the dirty ones myself. I feel this parent was teaching, and the child was pushing with her every little mite, hoping mom and dad would cave. Good job not caving in. She will respect you one day for this, right now she is doing what she does best, being a stubborn child that wanted her own way.

                        Comment

                        • iheartkids
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Aug 2011
                          • 127

                          #27
                          My 10 year old daughter is responsible for dishes every night and folding her own laundry and the towels. She keeps her own room clean on her own preference (I swear she reorganizes it every night!). I feel like I don't give her enough chores but she takes responsibility for so many other things that I don't ask her to do (getting the mail everyday, helping watch her little brother, cleaning up toys around the house). I tried doing allowance but half the time I end up "owing" the money to her cause I never carry cash with me and then when we are out shopping and she wants something she says "well you owe me $6!. We kind of just randomly give her money when we have cash and she did something really helpful (like watching her brother for a long period of time so I can get a project done, or helping my DH out in the backyard). My husband feels like regular housework should be done as part of a collaboration around the house, not to get money.

                          As far as rewashing dishes.My DH did this to her just the other night. He didn't make her rewash all the dishes but he checked them and threw all the dirty ones back in the sink and I guess he had to do this several times because she just wasn't taking the time to WASH them. He is trying to teach her to pay attention to what she is doing and not to do it half-a$$ just so it can get done.

                          Comment

                          • familyschoolcare
                            Advanced Daycare.com Member
                            • Jun 2011
                            • 1284

                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered
                            no I get what you are saying. I think that leaves to much room for negotiations. It's ok to expect more from our kids and not have to reason for everything we ask. We live here, we all help, this is what I need for you to do, and I expect you to do this chore the way I showed you how, because you are capable. Not coming off as a drill Sargent but as a parent who is asking a reasonable request.

                            I personally would have stood next to the child on the third attempt to make sure they were doing it right if possible. This child is not being abused, she is simply being asked to do something right and finding out the consequence of what happens when you don't do it right. You have to do it again.

                            but if that works for you, then great. Picking my battles has been half the battle and that is from years of experience. If I was going to expect this child to have the dishes as her chore, then I would have done the same thing. If I am going to be wishy washy and let her have her way of not doing them then I would have just let it pass and fixed the dirty ones myself. I feel this parent was teaching, and the child was pushing with her every little mite, hoping mom and dad would cave. Good job not caving in. She will respect you one day for this, right now she is doing what she does best, being a stubborn child that wanted her own way.
                            I think ou hit on the most importat thing in the "process" do what works

                            Comment

                            • familyschoolcare
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Jun 2011
                              • 1284

                              #29
                              Originally posted by Unregistered
                              no I get what you are saying. I think that leaves to much room for negotiations. It's ok to expect more from our kids and not have to reason for everything we ask. We live here, we all help, this is what I need for you to do, and I expect you to do this chore the way I showed you how, because you are capable. Not coming off as a drill Sargent but as a parent who is asking a reasonable request.

                              I personally would have stood next to the child on the third attempt to make sure they were doing it right if possible. This child is not being abused, she is simply being asked to do something right and finding out the consequence of what happens when you don't do it right. You have to do it again.

                              but if that works for you, then great. Picking my battles has been half the battle and that is from years of experience. If I was going to expect this child to have the dishes as her chore, then I would have done the same thing. If I am going to be wishy washy and let her have her way of not doing them then I would have just let it pass and fixed the dirty ones myself. I feel this parent was teaching, and the child was pushing with her every little mite, hoping mom and dad would cave. Good job not caving in. She will respect you one day for this, right now she is doing what she does best, being a stubborn child that wanted her own way.
                              I think ou hit on the most importat thing in the "process" do what works

                              Comment

                              • safechner
                                Daycare.com Member
                                • Jan 2010
                                • 753

                                #30
                                All I can say wow... I am so lucky that I never chores all of my childhood but I do clean up my room and something I like to do. My mother never want me or my sis/bro to do too much chores because she worked a lot since she was 10 years old. She wants to let me to be kid like play outside.. I had been playing outside a lot with other kids a lot until 17 years old. Honestly, I know how to do wash the load when I see my dad do this all the time. I moved out at 20 years old and I still enjoy my life and I keep clean in my home. I still enjoy doing chores for myself but not my kids. I let my kids to be kids. If my kids want to help then I can let them if they want to.

                                I do see there are so many young girls, women and mothers are suffering to do all chores. What about boys/men/fathers???? Men/Boys/Fathers don't need free to make the women/girls do all the chores. Just thought...

                                Comment

                                Working...