Observing Before They Go With Me

[Christian Mother]

This is how my clients feel . They don't want ANY visible signs from outside that this is a childcare facility. A person would have to know who they were looking for to find my home and that is one of my biggest selling points (I also do short term/emergent respite).

I am able and willing to ask permission of my clients if I feel the need for a daytime observation with a stranger/newcomer to town (like someone who had a bad daycare experience already). My family is Public Safety so my clients know I will bend over backwards to protect their kids and will grant me some level of trust. My Spidey Senses are fine tuned.

AFTER I have all enrollment package information on a prospective family to include a criminal background check (I pay and run up to sheriffs office myself after closing, takes 20 minutes tops), physical address, copy of drivers license AND my husband scheduled to be here, I will schedule a daytime visit.

I will not, however, allow them to touch another child. Observation is from behind the safety gate entrance and their own child is 100% their responsibility at the time.

If they are not comfortable with the level of security I offer or with giving me their info....then it should be obvious to them that I am not the provider they want. Most locals already know who I am, anyway ("touristy" area). You can throw a rock randomly in town during off season and have it hit someone I am related to or provided care for. ::

None of the posts that I have read constitute neglect or strong disinterest in caring for other people's children. I wouldn't judge anyone who posts something when they have had a rough day or had a parent who has tried to take advantage of them. I see it as letting it out. I do not personally know them and neither do you, so I would say that is pretty harsh judgement on your part.

Got to pull these back up for my response for me I agree in full with. For me, I don't like the drop in and observe but do I understand why parents want to ...of course. I would like that option but i would understand if that provider wld not allow it I guess I would have to meet with her a couple times to get a fill for the daycare space and the provider. I have never observed my children while at daycare or preschool. Its always pretty quick for me in and out as I was a TA at one time and understand it is hard just to be there around your child and your own child can't adjust properly. Not to mention it really has the teachers/assistants and providers on edge. You know I've never had a parent ever ask to observe though. I have a gated house and I know that all my parents would not be conferable w/me allowing a potently person come observe. But, if I was able to convince my parents that I had every intention of making sure the kids where safe and that my husband was there with me not to mention that it would be a 30 time line that would be it. I agree Crystal with you on that...parents now in days are really curious as to what goes on and they deserve to see what and how we interact with the children. With all my parents I have in my phb that any parent can drop in at any time and some will come at diff. times of the day or their pick up time is def. they get to see me at diff. stages through out the day. For the OP- I think that you should have a 2nd interview and talk to all your parents before hand on how they fill about having a potential parent come an observe you for 30 min max. Keep them far away from the children and do not have them inter act or help you in any way. Make sure you explain that to them that that is for the safely of the children and your self. I would also have your husband there also as another pair of eyes. It never fails the parent is always asking questions and if I am there by my self there is no way I can entertain the parent and the children all at the same time. If you have a assistant that would be good as well as a extra pair of eyes. I just don't ever do observing on my own with my kids. Their my first priority always.

[Meeko]

I agree that 10 minutes doesn't allow much time to get a real "snapshot" of the day. That's why my observations tend to be 30-90 minutes. I just go about my day as usual and act as though they are not there.

Cheerfuldom, can you tell me, do you ever have potential clients request observation, and if so, how do they respond when you tell them no? I just can't see a parent accepting that and moving forward with enrollment.

It is almost always requested by families in our area (based on conversations with local providers) and I think alot of providers would not have full programs if they refused an initial observation, so I am wondering what it is like in other areas.

Crystal, I have had parents ask and I have told them no. I give them my reasons why and I see the lights go on in their brains.. I have never lost a client yet. They are actually just repeating what they have seen written in some yuppy parent magazine or such and have never really put any thought in it. Once they start thinking about if THEY can hang out...then so can any other Tom , Dick and Harry and then they start seeing the light....

[abigailrw5]

I think the reason I never have been asked about having an observation is because all my parents have been refered by another parent here. I guess they go with their feeling that if the person that is referring them is happy why wouldn't they be.

Also, my parents seriously have no time to do a observation. When three of my 6 preschoolers needed care it was on the next day basis. One had one quit on them, one needed to find a person immediately due to some issues on providers part, another one provider didn't know if she wanted to continue childcare or not. So there was no time to observe. Also, all these parents were referred to me by a friend or client.

This parent was referred by a very happy family of mine. When he asked to observe I aked if he wanted another referral. And he said no because he was happy with the one he had.

[Crystal]

I think the reason I never have been asked about having an observation is because all my parents have been refered by another parent here. I guess they go with their feeling that if the person that is referring them is happy why wouldn't they be.

Also, my parents seriously have no time to do a observation. When three of my 6 preschoolers needed care it was on the next day basis. One had one quit on them, one needed to find a person immediately due to some issues on providers part, another one provider didn't know if she wanted to continue childcare or not. So there was no time to observe. Also, all these parents were referred to me by a friend or client.

My parents have been referred by others in care as well. I think they want to observe to get an idea of what their child's day will be like, how I respond under stress, how I handle meal times, how I "discipline", etc. Unless the parent sees it, it's hard to believe that we can handle all of the stuff that can get thrown our way on any given day. It's peace of mind and knowing that their child is going to have good days, good friends, good food, etc, etc, etc.

[Meeko]

I guess I am confused....what is a parent supposed to magically see in 10 minutes? sounds like a waste of time to me (sorry if that is too harsh)

Generally, I don't allow any strangers around the kids, period and don't allow observing. I understand that parents may not be comfortable with that but that is what I am comfortable with so they can take it or leave it. Actually, its pretty rare than anyone asks to observe.

I just think it is silly to say "oh I observed for 10 minutes and that is enough for me to make my choice".

This is exactly how I feel. But I'm glad it went OK for the OP!! Hope they sign up with you!

[Meeko]

My parents have been referred by others in care as well. I think they want to observe to get an idea of what their child's day will be like, how I respond under stress, how I handle meal times, how I "discipline", etc. Unless the parent sees it, it's hard to believe that we can handle all of the stuff that can get thrown our way on any given day. It's peace of mind and knowing that their child is going to have good days, good friends, good food, etc, etc, etc.

I understand where you are coming from Crystal...I really do. On the surface it all sounds very nice. But here's the problem.

Mom and Dad want to know what Miss Provider's day care is like. So they ask for a chance to go observe. Miss Provider tell them they can come for an hour tomorrow.

Miss Provider makes sure she has a fun activity lined up...even though she normally ignores the kids.

Miss Provider threatens the other kids to be good or else while the visitors are in the day care.

Miss Provider is all smiles because she wants the money. She's normally a sourpuss.

If a child DOES misbehave, Miss Provider gently puts the child in a short time-out or re-directs. She normally yells and punishes instead of disciplines.

Mom and Dad see the sweetest Mary Poppins wannabe ever and are so excited!

Miss Provider shows them the door after an hour.

It's all been a complete waste of time. Mom and Dad have a completely false idea of what life is like at day care....and their child will suffer.

Or......Miss Provider may really be Mary Poppins personified! No way to tell until the child has been in care a while and TRUST has been established.

[Crystal]

I understand where you are coming from Crystal...I really do. On the surface it all sounds very nice. But here's the problem.

Mom and Dad want to know what Miss Provider's day care is like. So they ask for a chance to go observe. Miss Provider tell them they can come for an hour tomorrow.

Miss Provider makes sure she has a fun activity lined up...even though she normally ignores the kids.

Miss Provider threatens the other kids to be good or else while the visitors are in the day care.

Miss Provider is all smiles because she wants the money. She's normally a sourpuss.

If a child DOES misbehave, Miss Provider gently puts the child in a short time-out or re-directs. She normally yells and punishes instead of disciplines.

Mom and Dad see the sweetest Mary Poppins wannabe ever and are so excited!

Miss Provider shows them the door after an hour.

It's all been a complete waste of time. Mom and Dad have a completely false idea of what life is like at day care....and their child will suffer.

Or......Miss Provider may really be Mary Poppins personified! No way to tell until the child has been in care a while and TRUST has been established.

I can see that happening.

BUT, most people can see right through that if it is the case. Especially in an hour.....no provider who is a witch to the children can manage to not slip up a time or two in an hours time.....for years I have done ECERS and FCCERS on other programs and within less than an hour I can tell if they are being genuine or not. (and I was able to do this on the very first ob I ever did, so it wasn't a honed skill)

Also, I think the environment says alot. My environment is, well, beautiful. It is clearly well-maintained, clean, well-lit, LOTS of materials are ALWAYS available, not just a random activity and the children have complete access to all of those materials during observation. Typically there is 1-3 children in each area, all the time, and this is what parents see. Also, I always redirect, I don't use time out and it works very effectively, making it clear that that is all I need to do with the children to get compliance.

While I can see what you say happening in a very brief observation, an hour or more should be enough time for a parent to get the real jist of the providers and children's day.

[Crystal]

Also, meeko, your post is precisely why the parent SHOULD do an unnanounced drop in after enrollment....to see if the provider was indeed being genuine at the observation.

[Country Kids]

Wasn't though there a case just not to long ago with California's childcare provider of the year. Something about men coming and going, children not being watched, maybe a death in the childcare? It also sounded like there were always parents coming in and out. So what about a case like that! Top provider yet all these things are going on still. I don't think a person can really see anything form one time.

[Unregistered]

I had a parent want to observe a while back. I completely understood and although I agree with others about how the "reality" of the day is not shown in one observation, I agreed. However, I did not agree to allow the parent's child to accompany them. That would have been setting up the child, parent and myself for failure as we all know kids act up in odd or unnatural situation such as a parent and a caregiver being present at the same time.

What I did do was invite the parent to come and assist me in my daily routine. I put her to work as I would any other assistant. This parent was able to see first hand how our day works and what goes on during the day. She got a perfect view of how I handle bad/negative behaviors and how the children act and behave to not only me but to others.

If I were to have parent ask to observe again, I would say "No, but you can come volunteer for the afternoon."

Much like many of the Early Childhood and Head Start classrooms believ; supporting parent involvement is a good practice.

[Crystal]

Wasn't though there a case just not to long ago with California's childcare provider of the year. Something about men coming and going, children not being watched, maybe a death in the childcare? It also sounded like there were always parents coming in and out. So what about a case like that! Top provider yet all these things are going on still. I don't think a person can really see anything form one time.

Actually, that isn't exactly what happened. There weren't men coming and going, but she did leave the children in the care of her assistant while she and her own child went to another location where she met with a man she was having an affair with.

BUT, you're right it shows one observation can't guarantee anything AND proves that parents should indeed do UNNANOUNCED drop in visits, as it goes to show you can never 100% trust anyone with your children.

This particular provider was friends with all of her families, and they basically all lived in the same neighborhood, had barbeques together etc.

This provider was county provider of the year a couple of years ago. There was an infant death. The provider put the child to sleep, upstairs (against regs) with the parents knowledge that she had always done so. The baby was left unnattended in a carseat with a propped bottle and died. The provider then moved the child to a play pen and did not call 911 or perform CPR. It wasn't until the father arrived that she ran down and said call 911. She is facing criminal neglect charges and appears in court this Friday.

So, yep, parents should observe and should do unnanounced visits....if provider of the year can do these things, well, then, so might any one of us.

[Country Kids]

Thanks for clarifying the story. I was trying to recall what I had remembered from reading about it.

Yes, it does show you that no matter how well you may know someone, there still maybe something going on that you don't know about.

[Crystal]

Thanks for clarifying the story. I was trying to recall what I had remembered from reading about it.

Yes, it does show you that no matter how well you may know someone, there still maybe something going on that you don't know about.

You're welcome. And, thank you for helping me prove my point (even if that was not your intention )

[Crystal]

I had a parent want to observe a while back. I completely understood and although I agree with others about how the "reality" of the day is not shown in one observation, I agreed. However, I did not agree to allow the parent's child to accompany them. That would have been setting up the child, parent and myself for failure as we all know kids act up in odd or unnatural situation such as a parent and a caregiver being present at the same time.

What I did do was invite the parent to come and assist me in my daily routine. I put her to work as I would any other assistant. This parent was able to see first hand how our day works and what goes on during the day. She got a perfect view of how I handle bad/negative behaviors and how the children act and behave to not only me but to others.

If I were to have parent ask to observe again, I would say "No, but you can come volunteer for the afternoon."

Much like many of the Early Childhood and Head Start classrooms believ; supporting parent involvement is a good practice.

Nice idea. Thanks for sharing.

[Zoe]

Here's my two cents.

When I was teaching, my kids (3 and 11months at the time) were in this great daycare. She was so nice and flexible with my subbing schedule. I just loved her. Well, I got off early one day and called her to say I was coming early. I walked in the door two minutes later to see her beating my 11 month old son. Apparently she was rushing to get his diaper changed and he was wiggling and she snapped. I'm so glad I witnessed this, because what would have happened had I not seen it?!

So that makes me an advocate of dropping in unannounced (not a lot mind you, but come early one day). I can guarantee you'll see who your provider truly is. And that could be a good or bad thing. I don't treat it as an issue of trust, more just checking in if you're having doubts. Your suspicions will either be confirmed or put to rest.

I agree with other pp's in that a scheduled observation doesn't really give anyone an accurate depiction of how your daycare works. If you are a great judge of "true character" and can spot phonies, then that's awesome but I don't think a lot of people have that. Apparently I didn't!