More examples of the naughty 2 1/2 yo

[Kaddidle Care]

Not every provider and every child mesh.

Too true! We are all different and that's what makes the world go round.

Sounds like you've got another brilliant child on your hands. No common sense, but brilliant. He KNOWS that the worst he will get is a time out. He even knows how to grate on your nerves while in the time out. Fun is!

You've obviously given him the best of your patience in waiting it out and hoping he'd outgrow it. I can just picture him from your description. I'm betting at home he gets lots of "Awww - he's so cute!"

Yeah... right.

[mickey2]

This child sounds like he needs another adult present to watch/redirectand reinforce positive behavior. One person alone can not do this and care for the other children it is too much. You need eyes in the back of your head! I know because I had one very similar.

Because of the way my dh's shifts work out he is home during the day more often than not so I was able to fix these problems by being constantly on top of him. If I had to put him in time out, I or my dh would stay there with him while one of us supervised the others.

I used to have a real problem with him at nap time. He would not sleep and would scream, stand up, jump, shake the pnp so hard it would move to the other side of the room. I would stand outside the door and every single time he stood up I would go and lie him back down. I must have done this over 100 times a day for almost a week.

During playtime he would not stay within the boundaries, he would keep crossing the "lines" that I have for different sections. Babies are gated, toddlers have there own toddler section and preschoolers have theirs. I would bring him back to the toddler section every single time he crossed the line.

He also would throw toys, take toys away from the other toddlers, stand on toys almost all of the things you say your dc child does. It took a lot of "NO! Gentle we don't throw toys" and making him give the toy back, removing him from play, telling him to get down etc.

But you can not do this alone. It is very time consuming and takes a lot of patience and determination. You would need another adult.

I started caring for him when he was 11 months old and he will be 2 next week. I actually dreaded the thought of him showing up in the morning and felt so guilty!

I probably would have termed this devilish little monster a year ago but I love him to pieces!! He is my grandson. ::

It was a LOT of work but I no longer have any problems with him at all. He naps immediately as soon as he is put down, he basically listens and is one of my best dcks now.

He is just so darn super busy and its constantly go go go all day! I am more exhausted by him at the end of the day than I am by my other 5 little ones combined.

[Ariana]

This child needs different strategies than the ones being offered in your care. I agree with terming. I also agree about withholding the reason. I would simply say it's not working out and that they are a wonderful child. This is how I termed a difficult child.

I'm currently taking a resiliency workshop and it's amazing how much our mood and behavior shape the way a child behaves in our care.

[Ariana]

You really wouldn't add a reason? I googled how to write a term letter, , and it said to write a reason so I did. I am obviously going to talk to them in person too, so I am sure the reason would come up then, but also for "proof" of why the termination happened I thought it may be good to add a why in the letter. Hmmmm.....

I totally understand why you want to add a reason. I felt that way with a difficult child as well but came to realize it was mainly out of anger. Take your emotion out of it and simply say you're finding it too stressful with so many children and differing personalities.

[AfterSchoolMom]

The one thing that I noticed was that you say "effective December NINETEENTH" and then go on to say that the last day of care will be "December SIXTEENTH". Make sure you're clear on the correct dates in the letter.

Good luck!

[youretooloud]

It is getting to the point where I can't stand the sight of the kid because all he does is misbehave. UGH UGH UGH.

THAT'S where you have to let him go. Once you dread seeing him, he needs to go. It's not fair to him, you, or anyone.

Honestly (and I am not blaming you at all) If YOU don't like him, nobody in your group will like him, and he's not going to ever be that cute, curious, funny kid that he might be in another group setting. We all have our "favorites" and every kid deserves to be someones favorite for one reason or another.

I've had those kids that make my day bad just by showing up. We can't love them all. Heck, I broke up with a great guy because I COULD. NOT. STAND. his son. That kid had no redeeming qualities as far as I was concerned. (now he's a very productive happy adult..so, obviously I was wrong)

The behaviors you describe do seem normal... maybe excessive, but normal to me. Especially standing on things. I've long since given up on getting them to never stand on things. Instead, I give them TONS of stuff to stand on. Yet, they still stand on the doll's heads, or the toy keyboard. I have no idea why, and it bugs the crap outta me.

[countrymom]

I understand where your coming from, we all want to help every single child. But there are some children that no matter what we do we can't help them. Sounds to me that mom and dad need to get a reality check, esp. if this child is spitting in dads face-who does this. I would term him, your day will go so much better.
do other people watch him I wonder if he does the same thing with them. I had a boy and his sisters who where all awful. And I mean awful, the boy was the devil, I have never ever seen a child who would glare at someone like the way he did, but when he started telling the kids horrible things to do and then tell them not to tell me that was the final straw. (he told the kids to go outside and hide while I put the babies to sleep and my niece was one of them, then he started whispering awful awful stuff in the kids ears that they would start to cry esp. at meals, he didnt' nap but up since 530am) then I found out that my back up lady knows their aunt and the aunt won't even watch them because of their behavior.

[e.j.]

I cannot believe these are ALL normal behaviors. He doesn't seem to be able to learn that he cannot hoard all of the toys. He is constantly pushing kids down if they go near things he "thinks" are his. He is constantly standing on toys, even though he gets a consequence each time. Here is another for instance, we are sitting down at our little table for snack. I sit him down, give him snack (with the other children), I tell them all to stay seated in their chairs until I get them up. I no more than turn my back and he STANDS UP!!! I turn around and he tries to hurry and sit down. I say, "X, you need to stay seated or I will take your snack away." I turn my back to grab a cup for one of the other kids and he STANDS UP again! So then the other kids think it is funny and start standing up too. I take his snack and he FLIPS out. I put him in time out and he does everything he can to annoy me. Scratching on the pnp mesh, trying to climb it, jumping in it and shaking it. THIS is all NORMAL 2 1/2 year old behavior?! My 30 day sticker was on the 16th but I think I am going to give my notice this week. It is getting to the point where I can't stand the sight of the kid because all he does is misbehave. UGH UGH UGH.

I have twins who have been in my care for about a year and who are about the same age. Their behavior is just as you've described so I'd say it's normal, especially given what you've said about the parents' reaction to his behavior.

If you're at the point where you can't stand the sight of him, it's time to let go. We all have our limitations and it's not a bad thing to recognize them and call it quits once they've been reached.

I do agree with the suggestion that you give a fairly generic reason for terming. Keep it as short and professional as you can.

The one thing that I noticed was that you say "effective December NINETEENTH" and then go on to say that the last day of care will be "December SIXTEENTH". Make sure you're clear on the correct dates in the letter.

Sounds like last day is on a Friday and as of Monday, they will no longer be able to bring him to you for care ....I get what the original note is stating. I'd keep it to one date to avoid any confusion, though.