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I cannot believe these are ALL normal behaviors. He doesn't seem to be able to learn that he cannot hoard all of the toys. He is constantly pushing kids down if they go near things he "thinks" are his. He is constantly standing on toys, even though he gets a consequence each time. Here is another for instance, we are sitting down at our little table for snack. I sit him down, give him snack (with the other children), I tell them all to stay seated in their chairs until I get them up. I no more than turn my back and he STANDS UP!!! I turn around and he tries to hurry and sit down. I say, "X, you need to stay seated or I will take your snack away." I turn my back to grab a cup for one of the other kids and he STANDS UP again! So then the other kids think it is funny and start standing up too. I take his snack and he FLIPS out. I put him in time out and he does everything he can to annoy me. Scratching on the pnp mesh, trying to climb it, jumping in it and shaking it. THIS is all NORMAL 2 1/2 year old behavior?! My 30 day sticker was on the 16th but I think I am going to give my notice this week. It is getting to the point where I can't stand the sight of the kid because all he does is misbehave. UGH UGH UGH.
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[QUOTE=sahm2three;171530]I cannot believe these are ALL normal behaviors. He doesn't seem to be able to learn that he cannot hoard all of the toys. He is constantly pushing kids down if they go near things he "thinks" are his. He is constantly standing on toys, even though he gets a consequence each time. Here is another for instance, we are sitting down at our little table for snack. I sit him down, give him snack (with the other children), I tell them all to stay seated in their chairs until I get them up. I no more than turn my back and he STANDS UP!!! I turn around and he tries to hurry and sit down. I say, "X, you need to stay seated or I will take your snack away." I turn my back to grab a cup for one of the other kids and he STANDS UP again! So then the other kids think it is funny and start standing up too. I take his snack and he FLIPS out. I put him in time out and he does everything he can to annoy me. Scratching on the pnp mesh, trying to climb it, jumping in it and shaking it. THIS is all NORMAL 2 1/2 year old behavior?! My 30 day sticker was on the 16th but I think I am going to give my notice this week. It is getting to the point where I can't stand the sight of the kid because all he does is misbehave. UGH UGH UGH.[/QUOTE]
The best thing you can do for both you and the child is to term him. It's not fair to him to be somewhere the provider can no longer tolerate him. It's also not fair to you to be so upset all day long because of one child. -
[QUOTE=sharlan;171536]It may have been harsh of me to say that I can't stand the sight of him, because I really do try to start with a clean slate every day, but it is the SAME stuff every day! He gets into trouble by doing the same things every day. He has been here over a year! And he just can't seem to follow directions. But is smart and knows what he is doing because he tries to hide it. Not sure how to word the termination letter, because these parents think he is perfect and is completely normal. All the while he punches them in the face and is allowed by them to disrespect my property. So how do I word the termination letter? And how do I approach them so that it hopefully minimizes the nastiness that could come from it?Comment
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Sounds like mom and dad need a reality check. I'd be honest about why you're terming. Make a professional term letter telling them the end date of care and the reason for termination being destructive and violent behavior. That's it.Comment
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"I can't stand the sight of this child...". Yes, term right away if you feel that strongly. As a parent, I would truly freak out if I knew my provider felt that way about my 2 year old child. I'd freak if my son's 11th grade chemistry teacher felt that way about him. For what its worth, hoarding toys, pushing, defiance and tantrums are pretty normal for some 2 year olds, and fully warrants a stern "no", a stern face and immediate redirection. "Time out" for just standing up at the snack table seems age inappropriate for a 2 year old, much less a T.O in a pac-n-play at that age. Term, term immediately.Comment
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For what it's worth, my very first daycare kid was an 18 month old boy that I watched for six months. WORST six months of my life. About three months in I found myself not standing the child. Seriously. Couldn't stand him. Made my life miserable. I know that's not a good thing at all, and if someone felt that way about my child I'd just die. But I kept it inside and tried my best to work through it. Finally, my DH said "I'd like my wife back". So I termed. Best decision I ever made. I won't get into his behavior but it was pretty bad obviously for me to end up feeling that way.
And I haven't run into that problem with any other child since.
I know that people may flame you for what you said, but you're just being honest and I appreciate that. Do what's best for you and that child by ending the daycare relationship. Good luck!
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Not every provider and every child mesh.
I've always told my parents up front, if your child is not happy here, this is NOT the right place for them to be. I would much rather the parents find a better fit for their family than both the child and I to be miserable all day.Comment
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I have to give him his time outs in a pnp because he is so out of control. I understand that the hoarding toys, pushing etc can be normal 2 yo behavior, but you would think, that after being in my home for over a year, he would learn that a, b, and c are going to get him into trouble and to do them LESS. It is like it is his first day every single day. The standing by the snack table thing got to me because when he would stand he would smirk at me as if to say, "Now what are you going to do?" And the fact that he does things and then tries to hide them tells me he knows what he is doing is not ok.
Icing on the cake today? I got down to his level to tell him why what he just did was not ok, and he SPIT in my face!!! Told his dad at pick up what happend and when the dad went to talk to him he spit in his dads face! And he just said, "X, we don't spit in peoples face."
Yep, I am working on a term letter tonight! If I felt like the parents were on the same page as me it would be one thing, but they think he is just wonderful.
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What do you think of this term letter:
Dear Mom and Dad X, 12/2/2011
Effective December 19th, we will no longer be able to provide childcare for X.
We are terminating care because of behaviors exhibited by X that we cannot correct that the other children are beginning to pick up (spitting, violent and destructive behavior towards my personal property). For the good of the daycare as a whole, we have come to this decision.
Last day of care will be the 16th of December.
I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Miss YComment
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You really wouldn't add a reason? I googled how to write a term letter,
, and it said to write a reason so I did. I am obviously going to talk to them in person too, so I am sure the reason would come up then, but also for "proof" of why the termination happened I thought it may be good to add a why in the letter. Hmmmm.....
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I would put the reason but maybe leave out the part of the others are picking up on the behavior.Comment
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Michelle's right, put down the reason (his behavior) but don't say anything about the other kids.Comment
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I saw an awesome term letter once and I can't remember where but it had a section a little something like this:
Reason for termination:
____frequent late payments
____Frequent late pickups/Early Dropoffs
____Behavior Issues
It has all the possible termination reasons covered and you just put an x or a check in the box. I wish I had kept this. I will search for it again and see if I can find it.
You can always document your own records for reason of termination in case there is ever an issue.Comment
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