Holy !@#T!!! Shortest Enrollment Ever!

[BigMama]

NO

This kid was asked to do something she had done thousands of times. Asking a kid to lie down is NOT something that a normal kid would be violent about.

She wasn't force feeding her raw liver
She wasn't asking her to jump off a bridge
She wasn't asking her to run thru fire

She was telling her to LAY DOWN.

It's a horse that needs to be beat to death. We need to tell providers that they do NOT have to have violence in their home. They CAN make mistakes and not expect to get slapped hard across the face by a three year old.

She might have been in the wrong asking a kid to lay down immediately on her first day but that STILL is not a situation where a child should slap an adult.

If my three year old son had slapped an adult across the face I would have DIED inside. I would have been soooooooooooo apologetic to the adult. I would have frankly been a puddle of tears. It would DEVESTATE me that my son was raised so poorly that he felt comfortable hitting an adult much less a stranger adult who was asking him to do something he had done a thousand times before.

What did this Mom do? She acted like a Mom who has had her kid smacking HER. She knew that kid was violent and didn't tell the provider. She deserves to be let go immediately. Maybe now she will get her kid in check and not leave her in someone else's care until she can trust that her child won't hurt THEM.

It's not about the kid. It's about the adult. We should be able to do our jobs without living in fear of being smacked by little kids.

Enough already with the "it's normal" crap. I'm sick of it.

Who said, "It's normal?" Who said it was acceptable? I have read through every post and everyone has said that they would not tolerate it. I think we all can agree that a child should not hit: other children, their parents, their child care provider, the mailman, anyone. HOWEVER, we are the adults. It is our job to make sure children are not set up for failure. It is our job to help children when they are out of control. Just as they do not truly like being in charge, children do not like being out of control.
You are assuming that the mother knew her child was violent. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe the child was reacting to extreme stress. Maybe the mother didn't say anything because she was surprised and embarrassed and the child care arrangement she thought she'd made was now terminated in a matter of a half hour. Again, it does not excuse the child slapping her provider, but let's not make judgments without thinking about it from all sides.
You say you are "sick of" people saying that it is normal. I think you mean that you don't want anyone to defend the child because you find her actions so reprehensible. Well, I am "sick of" adults who repeatedly fail to recognize that a human being who has only been on earth for three years may react negatively, and sometimes extremely negatively to stress, separation, and fear.

[nannyde]

I am in a Center and we have let children go for being violent towards other children. Unfortunately, we can get the brunt of it.

See that's how this works.

Centers take money for being hit until the kid hits money. When the kid hits money (the other kids) THEN they kick out.

Center workers have one of the highest turnovers in this county... I've seen estimates as much as 400 percent meaning the average life span of a worker is about three months.

No wonder. Who wants to go to work and get hit?

[mismatchedsocks]

I didnt just bring her in and say "ok, lay down". I'm not that mean. I sat down with her for a few minutes, we sang a little song, and she was FINE. I tried to make it nurturing and calm for her. She was fine for a couple minutes, then she kept getting off her mat, started bugging the other kids, and pulling their pillows out from under them. I talked calmly to her, and gave her remInders before even giving her a time out. You people who are arguing this are makin me sound like I didn't even try to ease her into this. I'm not cold.

Kinda hard to see the whole picture from one paragraph. I NEVER said you were cold, I was saying what I would have done. HAVING NO IDEA what you tried. Its not til now I read about ( many posts down ) about her kicking her way to the car, running away, etc.

But good for you for not being cold.

[Hunni Bee]

I had one that slapped me so hard I saw stars. It took me a while to forgive her. She had a LOT going on in her little life and for a lack of better words, was a feral child. This was several years ago and I wonder how the School system is handling her.

I am in a Center and we have let children go for being violent towards other children. Unfortunately, we can get the brunt of it.

I've been scratched, bitten, hit in the face, kicked and told to shut the f*** up. All by the same two boys. Neither was termed.

One, on the day he tripped me (causing me to fall hard enough to have to go to the ER and injure myself for life), stopped coming because his mom owed the the Center so much money it was ridiculous.

The other just left me a few hours ago, as he still attends to this day. (Although his behavior is 100 times better).

This post didn't shock me at all. Because these kids that you ladies have the privilege of terming, are unleashed on us poor, defenseless Center workers . Some person like myself will be posting about this same child in a week.

My center isn't the Home for Violent Toddlers like it used to be, thank God. The director is a lot more judicious of what families she takes, but I know the feeling of meeting a child you know will make your days hell and having no choice in the matter, except to quit.

[nannyde]

I've been scratched, bitten, hit in the face, kicked and told to shut the f*** up. All by the same two boys. Neither was termed.

One, on the day he tripped me (causing me to fall hard enough to have to go to the ER and injure myself for life), stopped coming because his mom owed the the Center so much money it was ridiculous.

The other just left me a few hours ago, as he still attends to this day. (Although his behavior is 100 times better).

This post didn't shock me at all. Because these kids that you ladies have the privilege of terming, are unleashed on us poor, defenseless Center workers . Some person like myself will be posting about this same child in a week.

My center isn't the Home for Violent Toddlers like it used to be, thank God. The director is a lot more judicious of what families she takes, but I know the feeling of meeting a child you know will make your days hell and having no choice in the matter, except to quit.

I wish you could come work for me Hunni. I really do. You would love my house. My kids are sweet as pie and you would be treated with the respect you deserve SO much.

[Hunni Bee]

I wish you could come work for me Hunni. I really do. You would love my house. My kids are sweet as pie and you would be treated with the respect you deserve SO much.

Aww, thank you!! I know I would. I've been sweetening my current bunch with a lot of your strategies.

[dave4him]

Hmmmm..... smile.... nod..... back away slowly......

[Crystal]

Who said, "It's normal?" Who said it was acceptable? I have read through every post and everyone has said that they would not tolerate it. I think we all can agree that a child should not hit: other children, their parents, their child care provider, the mailman, anyone. Thank you. I don't see where anyone said it is normal or acceptable and in fact read that no one would tolerate it as well.. For some reason one cannot disagree here without it being considered a personal attack.

HOWEVER, we are the adults. It is our job to make sure children are not set up for failure. It is our job to help children when they are out of control. Just as they do not truly like being in charge, children do not like being out of control. I TOTALLY agree.
You are assuming that the mother knew her child was violent. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe the child was reacting to extreme stress. Maybe the mother didn't say anything because she was surprised and embarrassed and the child care arrangement she thought she'd made was now terminated in a matter of a half hour. Again, it does not excuse the child slapping her provider, but let's not make judgments without thinking about it from all sides. EXACTLY!!!
You say you are "sick of" people saying that it is normal. I think you mean that you don't want anyone to defend the child because you find her actions so reprehensible. Well, I am "sick of" adults who repeatedly fail to recognize that a human being who has only been on earth for three years may react negatively, and sometimes extremely negatively to stress, separation, and fear.AMEN!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where's the LIKE button??!!!!

[flightlessbird11]

Who said, "It's normal?" Who said it was acceptable? I have read through every post and everyone has said that they would not tolerate it. I think we all can agree that a child should not hit: other children, their parents, their child care provider, the mailman, anyone. HOWEVER, we are the adults. It is our job to make sure children are not set up for failure. It is our job to help children when they are out of control. Just as they do not truly like being in charge, children do not like being out of control.
You are assuming that the mother knew her child was violent. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe the child was reacting to extreme stress. Maybe the mother didn't say anything because she was surprised and embarrassed and the child care arrangement she thought she'd made was now terminated in a matter of a half hour. Again, it does not excuse the child slapping her provider, but let's not make judgments without thinking about it from all sides.
You say you are "sick of" people saying that it is normal. I think you mean that you don't want anyone to defend the child because you find her actions so reprehensible. Well, I am "sick of" adults who repeatedly fail to recognize that a human being who has only been on earth for three years may react negatively, and sometimes extremely negatively to stress, separation, and fear.

The bottom line, and MY reason for terming, is that this is not something that I wanted to be dealing with. There were other red flags waiving..and being slapped was it for me. Let someone else deal with them and the drama. I won't do it. Period. Maybe that sounds selfish, but I dont enjoy my job when I have to deal with such disrespect-parent or child.

[Abigail]

To The OP, Sorry I didn't read ALL the responses......

Did you interview this family?
Did you meet the child before?
Has this 3 year old girl gone to daycare before?

I know this happens and sadly some providers DO put up with it. Where I use to work, I was slapped a lot by an almost-3-year-old but my boss didn't want to term until she had too.....meaning it got worse. I'm now opening my own daycare and will NOT put up with it! I'm glad you did what you did! Write down your experience and call your licensing person and let them know of your situation so they have a heads up if they get a phone call.

[cheerfuldom]

OP I think you did the right thing.

One time at church nursery, a 2 year old hit me with a closed fist right in the groin and I was very very pregnant at the time. I about passed out but I took him right away to a different room and let him know he was never, ever to treat me like that EVER. He's 5 or 6 now, I see him all the time. He is a hellion for almost everyone, not me though. I would never allow anyone of any age to hit me or anyone else in my presence. It is not allowed period.

Kids try things, that part is normal (I am saying like a toddler taking a swipe out of frustration). BUT clearly this kid has issues and mom did not say anything and then have a friend send a nasty-gram text. wow.

[flightlessbird11]

To The OP, Sorry I didn't read ALL the responses......

Did you interview this family? Yes
Did you meet the child before? Yes- seemed ok- a little wild
Has this 3 year old girl gone to daycare before? She was kicked out of a center before me.

I know this happens and sadly some providers DO put up with it. Where I use to work, I was slapped a lot by an almost-3-year-old but my boss didn't want to term until she had too.....meaning it got worse. I'm now opening my own daycare and will NOT put up with it! I'm glad you did what you did! Write down your experience and call your licensing person and let them know of your situation so they have a heads up if they get a phone call.

Thank you! I called my licensor this afternoon.

[flightlessbird11]

OP I think you did the right thing.

One time at church nursery, a 2 year old hit me with a closed fist right in the groin and I was very very pregnant at the time. I about passed out but I took him right away to a different room and let him know he was never, ever to treat me like that EVER. He's 5 or 6 now, I see him all the time. He is a hellion for almost everyone, not me though. I would never allow anyone of any age to hit me or anyone else in my presence. It is not allowed period.

Kids try things, that part is normal (I am saying like a toddler taking a swipe out of frustration). BUT clearly this kid has issues and mom did not say anything and then have a friend send a nasty-gram text. wow.

Owe : ( sorry you had that happen. Thank you for the support though. I do think this child has behavioral issues and I'm sure mom was aware. Grrr!

[Country Kids]

So a question for those that wouldn't have termed-how long would you allow this little girl to do this before you would have termed?

I have one that started this the end of September. Spent the night with a relative and came back a total different child! One day ran me ragged at naptime hitting, spitting and kicking me. Everything had been fine up till naptime. This child hasn't really slept for me since during naptime thus creating caotic naptimes for me. Totally laughs at me when doing this type of behavior and has to be put into a pnp to contain the child. Also has screaming fits during this time to, not angry just screams and screams and screams. Finally last week started calming down, sleeping, behaving and spent the night with a relative again and the behavior started up again yesterday. The relative puts up with nothing from this child (I've witnessed it first hand) but every time this child goes there, they come back a different child.

The parents and I are at a loss of what to do! The child will not do this to the parents or anyone else just towards me or my family. Its like this child knows that I can't discipline them other than a time out. This child isn't new to my care either has been here well over a year.

My husband commented that I'm definetly working for my money with this one-::. This child has always been a little harder to tell with (stubborn) but not this bad. I'm completely baffled and not sure what to do anymore with the behavior. This is the one that has been going at least 15 hours a day with no sleep!

Any ideas would be appreciated!

[Oneluckymom]

The parents have given up on her and can't control her and don't know what to do. They need a professional...this is what I got out of this situation. How truly shocking and sad that a three year old behaved this way. You did the right thing in terminating that moment rather than waiting to SEE what would play out later.