Holy !@#T!!! Shortest Enrollment Ever!

[Crystal]

you tend to beat that dead horse alot.....

really? I share my opinion much less than many here......but yeah, like I said, me trying to prove my point is like beating a dead horse....which is not worth my time.

but, , thanks for the giggle ::

[nannyde]

I have never had a child hit me either. I also would not tolerate it. BUT, I also would not put a child in the position she was put in. She is THREE!!!! She was totally thrown for a loop here. She didn't know this provider who was chasing her around telling her to be quiet. She was out of control and it is the providers responsibility to help her regain her self control IN A SUPPORTIVE, NURTURING manner. She was puttin the kid in time out within minutes of her arrival....how about trying to sit down, read a book, relax into the situation rather than.........ah, nevermind, it's like beating a dead horse.

NO

This kid was asked to do something she had done thousands of times. Asking a kid to lie down is NOT something that a normal kid would be violent about.

She wasn't force feeding her raw liver
She wasn't asking her to jump off a bridge
She wasn't asking her to run thru fire

She was telling her to LAY DOWN.

It's a horse that needs to be beat to death. We need to tell providers that they do NOT have to have violence in their home. They CAN make mistakes and not expect to get slapped hard across the face by a three year old.

She might have been in the wrong asking a kid to lay down immediately on her first day but that STILL is not a situation where a child should slap an adult.

If my three year old son had slapped an adult across the face I would have DIED inside. I would have been soooooooooooo apologetic to the adult. I would have frankly been a puddle of tears. It would DEVESTATE me that my son was raised so poorly that he felt comfortable hitting an adult much less a stranger adult who was asking him to do something he had done a thousand times before.

What did this Mom do? She acted like a Mom who has had her kid smacking HER. She knew that kid was violent and didn't tell the provider. She deserves to be let go immediately. Maybe now she will get her kid in check and not leave her in someone else's care until she can trust that her child won't hurt THEM.

It's not about the kid. It's about the adult. We should be able to do our jobs without living in fear of being smacked by little kids.

Enough already with the "it's normal" crap. I'm sick of it.

[nannyde]

really? I share my opinion much less than many here......but yeah, like I said, me trying to prove my point is like beating a dead horse....which is not worth my time.

but, , thanks for the giggle ::

No Crystal

YOU are highly regarded here. What you say MATTERS. It matters to me a LOT.

I'm waiting for you to say that we should not tolerate any violence.

That's the horse I want you to beat.

I'm waiting for you to GET IT because you don't.

[flightlessbird11]

I disagree with terming like that. I think it was unfair for the child to arrive on day one and have to go straight to bed. I'd protest too. She hasn't had five minutes to get to know you and you're sending her to bed? I think that's just asking for a fight. You don't KNOW her, you don't KNOW if this is typical behavior for her....you didn't give yourself a chance to find out. She might be one awesome little girl, but coming into a new program and not even getting acclimated to your new surroundings before you are made to lay down just may have freaked the poor little thing out a bit. If I was Mom, I'd be mad too.

She was along during the interview and didn't seem that aggressive. We weren't meeting for the first time either. She HAD been around the other children just yesterday for about 1 hour. Regardless, if a child is that comfortable to hit an unfamiliar adult, I'm not interested or trained to deal with that.

[Crystal]

Oh, I get it Nan. REALLY, I do. I don't condone violence from children either. If a child hit me, I would FIRST assess the circumstances surrounding it....in 99.9% of instances, I would agree that it is 100% unnacceptable. In this situation, I'd give it a second chance because this WAS a HIGHLY unusual situation for this child. I'd give her another day to see how she does within play times and routine times, not day one drop off and go to bed.

[nannyde]

She was along during the interview and didn't seem that aggressive. We weren't meeting for the first time either. She HAD been around the other children just yesterday for about 1 hour. Regardless, if a child is that comfortable to hit an unfamiliar adult, I'm not interested or trained to deal with that.

You did the right thing sistah and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You have a RIGHT to live in peace in your home without fear of being hit. It's about YOU and what YOU need.

[Crystal]

She was along during the interview and didn't seem that aggressive. We weren't meeting for the first time either. She HAD been around the other children just yesterday for about 1 hour. Regardless, if a child is that comfortable to hit an unfamiliar adult, I'm not interested or trained to deal with that.

I get what your saying. I have to ask though, What do YOU think was different about TODAY that caused her to be aggressive? Do you think AT ALL, that it may have had something to do with it being naptime and an unfamiliar situation?

I am not saying YOU shouldn't have termed....I'm saying I wouldn't have. I would have tried a different approach tomorrow and see if there was a difference in this aggressive behavior before I would have given up.

I DO hope that Mom and her friend leave you alone though....the message was childish.....

[flightlessbird11]

I should have said, I do not think her behavior is okay, BUT I can understand why she would misbehave. This may have been a one-time thing....a reaction to NEW daycare, NEW environment, NEW people....she wasn't even given a chance. I would have at least seen how she behaved when it wasn't naptime.

She was kicked out of a center before she came here-mom and dad owe them $500, and her aunts best friend does daycare, but she doesn't go there. Hmmm, I think I could see why. Also, when mom picked up, she couldn't even get the kid into the car-she took off down the block, and mom did NOTHING. When she finally wrangled her into the car, she was flailing about, and screaming. I don't believe her behavior at my house was a result of being scared- I think a lack of parenting and discipline is to blame. I don't think this was that unusual for her.

[youretooloud]

She was kicked out of a center before she came here-mom and dad owe them $500, and her aunts best friend does daycare, but she doesn't go there. Hmmm, I think I could see why. Also, when mom picked up, she couldn't even get the kid into the car-she took off down the block, and mom did NOTHING. When she finally wrangled her into the car, she was flailing about, and screaming. I don't believe her behavior at my house was a result of being scared- I think a lack of parenting and discipline is to blame. I don't think this was that unusual for her.

The child probably has other issues, not just bad parenting. This sounds like they need to see a specialist.

The kid was set up to fail from the beginning. She never had a chance with mom dropping off at that time. (and I will not ever believe the mom didn't know it was nap time... I don't think anyone is that clueless) But, this isn't the kid's fault... this is lack of help for the child, lack of consitancty for her, and no common sense from the parents.

I've worked in centers..... a kid could be wielding knives and hatchets and the daycare won't kick them out.... I can't imagine what she must have been like.... or perhaps it was the fact that she wasn't all that pleasant, and they didn't like providing a service for free.

I think you dodged a bullet personally... I'm willing to bet this mom had no intentions of paying you.

[flightlessbird11]

You did the right thing sistah and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You have a RIGHT to live in peace in your home without fear of being hit. It's about YOU and what YOU need.

Thank you Nan! I don't tolerate violence in my home either, and I totally took that slap as her walking papers.

[flightlessbird11]

The child probably has other issues, not just bad parenting. This sounds like they need to see a specialist.

The kid was set up to fail from the beginning. She never had a chance with mom dropping off at that time. (and I will not ever believe the mom didn't know it was nap time... I don't think anyone is that clueless) But, this isn't the kid's fault... this is lack of help for the child, lack of consitancty for her, and no common sense from the parents.

I've worked in centers..... a kid could be wielding knives and hatchets and the daycare won't kick them out.... I can't imagine what she must have been like.... or perhaps it was the fact that she wasn't all that pleasant, and they didn't like providing a service for free.

I think you dodged a bullet personally... I'm willing to bet this mom had no intentions of paying you.

Those were my thoughts as well when she mentioned the money she owed to the center today when she dropped off.

[daycare]

I can see where everyone is coming from on this.

I think its just a matter of what one DCP can tolerate verses another.

I know I could not tolerate this, I don't have the backbone or patience for violence.

But some providers can and I take my hat off to those who can.

It's like my sister and I.

She teachers at a high school much like the movie dangerous minds. It really does take a special person to work with difficult children who have been allowed to be the leaders. I could never do this...

In your heart of hearts if you know that you could not have helped this child, you did the right thing...

[flightlessbird11]

When i first just read the initial post I thought "oh wow, poor child and poor provider". I do not condone the hitting at all. But I think I would have called mom to let her know her child had hit ( and let the child here) then give her a chance to shape up. I would definitely have a huge talk with her before laying her down again, and explained what I expected from her. Who knows where she came from, or what her issue was? Maybe mom had her nap already?

I probably would have done the 1pm drop off different, maybe read her a book just her and I then tell her "ok, its time to lay down with friends".

I didnt just bring her in and say "ok, lay down". I'm not that mean. I sat down with her for a few minutes, we sang a little song, and she was FINE. I tried to make it nurturing and calm for her. She was fine for a couple minutes, then she kept getting off her mat, started bugging the other kids, and pulling their pillows out from under them. I talked calmly to her, and gave her remInders before even giving her a time out. You people who are arguing this are makin me sound like I didn't even try to ease her into this. I'm not cold.

[Kaddidle Care]

I had one that slapped me so hard I saw stars. It took me a while to forgive her. She had a LOT going on in her little life and for a lack of better words, was a feral child. This was several years ago and I wonder how the School system is handling her.

I am in a Center and we have let children go for being violent towards other children. Unfortunately, we can get the brunt of it.

[nannyde]

Also, when mom picked up, she couldn't even get the kid into the car-she took off down the block, and mom did NOTHING. When she finally wrangled her into the car, she was flailing about, and screaming.

There it is.

When you make a choice to parent like that you get kicked out of day care on the first day within the first hour.

You gave her a blessing today.