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The mom is involved as much as possible. She is single and honestly has to work like that just to make it. She knows he is safe and loved here. She does let them stay up later so she can just spend some time with them. That means they sleep later at my house but I understand why she let's them stay up. When they get here they just go straight back to sleep. Of course I feel very close to these kids. They are all more like family than they are clients. We include them in family dinners and such. Mom is alone with no family at all. She wasn't working quite so much as she is now but her car broke down and she had to get another. She asked me before she bought another if her working more overtime was ok. I said of course. She has to be able to get to work. Honestly its sad. She is trying to not be on public assistance but in order for her to not be and make a better life for her and her babies she has to work a lot. I treat the kids as if they were mine and they are happy healthy well adjusted kids. It breaks the moms heart but she knows they are ok here. I just keep her 2 and then 2 others. They 2 others are just 4 days a week. My entire family has adopted the kids into our family. The 2 year old loves my husband so much that he makes every step my husband does when he is here. My husband is the only man in his life and he takes time for him. I guess we are not the normal day care but it works for us
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That is the problem with this little guy. I honestly don't think he is or ever was high needs. I think what Nan said: "It's impossible to tell if a baby IS high needs when they are cared for from day one by having an adult every second of their life holding, walking, rocking, co-sleeping, etc. It's impossible to tell if the baby is high needs if the only time they are not attached to an adult they are in motion equipment." is exactly what is going on.
Except the part about the equipment. She let me borrow her portable swing. He hates it! He simply wants to be held.
He doesn't care who it is that is feeding or holding him as long as he is being held. My DH stepped in and held and fed him and the little guy smiled and cooed like the happiest baby on earth. Hubs lays him down and he starts to cry before his little body even made contact with the mattress.
When I told mom that she said, "See, I think he is having trouble with the transition." ?????? She thinks it is the small window of time between being held and the motion of bending over to lay him down that he has trouble with. I said, "No, he just knows that sensation means he is being put down and he isn't happy about that." Is she grasping at straws and justifying the fact that her child is simply dependent or is that even possible?
She said she is also having trouble with nursing him as the week goes on because he is suffering from nipple confusion. The only time he takes a bottle is for me at 11:30. He drinks approx. 4 oz and has no problem drinking it. It does take him about 20-25 minutes to do that. He is nursed for all other meals. Mom said by Thursday afternoon, she had trouble getting him to latch on and that she thought he was confused because he had the bottle 4 times that week. That just doesn't make much sense to me since only 4 bottles compared to all the other times he nurses doesn't seem like 4 times on a bottle is enough times to have a preferance to it over the breast. (??)
I honestly think this mom really believes her child is high needs when really he just hasn't been given the opportunity to experience belly time or away from an adult time. I asked about belly time and mom reluctantly admitted that he is NEVER put down at home. If mom needs to do anything, she has dad hold him. She even said dad even complained about how "You can never put this kid down" so he holds him because it is easier. Mom even bathes WITH the child because he seems to like it better than alone.
I think she is a great mom but I think having a second child with a 3 yr old is what threw her off. She did say her older child was not at all like this. I think she is overwhelmed with how tough having 2 kids is verses only one so she is simply doing what is easiest and that is holding him. She was also unable ot nurse her oldest for whatever reason so I think she is using the BF'ing as an excuse to hold him, sleep with him and even bathe with him.
I suppose the only answer is that unless she is willing to change some practices at home this baby will just be fighting a losing battle between being the center of everything at home and being a part of a group while at daycare. Poor kid.
Mom even said it is easier to think he cries at daycare instead of home because if she hears him cry she lactates and cannot physically deal with it so she really doesn't seem to be concerned that her cries at daycare. He HAS to, because I have other kids and it is just not feasible for me to hold him. I am honestly not a babywearer and I think that doing that may be a solution to some high needs babies but I am kind of not buying that this is a high needs baby.
Who knows, I may be wrong. I just know that babies are cute and snuggly and can be fun, but babies are just not my thing. I can do it and I do NOT lose my cool as I am VERY laid back so the stress for me is not something I am worried about. I have NEVER gotten upset because a baby cries but I do feel bad that he is so unhappy.
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