Infant Help

[nannyde]

Oh, hun... I'd take a hundred infants to 3 pre-schoolers.

I "survive" their last few months here before they go to pre-school. Much respect for those that can do THAT day in and out....

No kidding

I love babies.

It only takes a little over a week to get them onto the plan and it's smooth sailing from there. I think babies are WAY easier than the preK crowd.

As long as the baby is healthy I can get them onto our schedule really quickly. It doesn't matter to me what they do at home. They can AP all they want. ::

[Ariana]

Didn't read all the replies so this has likely been said already but....the swaddle saved us! We also read a book by Dr.Harvey Karp called "happiest baby on the block" which was great. We didn't drop the swaddle until my daughter was 5 months!!

Here in Canada we get a year mat leave so we usually don't have to deal with this stuff as DCP's.

[Blackcat31]

Oh, hun... I'd take a hundred infants to 3 pre-schoolers.

I "survive" their last few months here before they go to pre-school. Much respect for those that can do THAT day in and out....

No kidding

I love babies.

It only takes a little over a week to get them onto the plan and it's smooth sailing from there. I think babies are WAY easier than the preK crowd.

As long as the baby is healthy I can get them onto our schedule really quickly. It doesn't matter to me what they do at home. They can AP all they want. ::

Well, it sounds like we need to move a little closer. Between the lot of us we can cover birth to age 6. Boy, what a killing we could make!!

I am just not a baby person. Took me a long time to admit that.
I can do it, just don't really enjoy it.

I manage at around age 1
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the 2 yr old to 4 year old age group
I have had enough around Kindy age.

[CheekyChick]

I wish I could offer you advice, but I have yet to meet a tiny baby that doesn't want to be cuddled all day. It is sooooooooooo much work, but
then they age up and it gets easier.

Just keep thinking that you only have a week and a half to go.

[mommiesherie]

. Ear plugs for you!!!!! A couple years ago I would have never ever allowed a baby to cry. These days if their needs are met.... Diaper changed, fed, etc then I'm sorry of I can't hold you at the moment but exercise those lungs. I have an 11 month old that is not happy about half the day. I can not hold him all day. If I would just let him crawl around in livingroom as he pleases he would be fine but when placed in a bouncer or walker or even when we are in play room with gate at door he screams. He will eventually get use to it. He is here 530 am to 630 pm 6 to 7 days a week. One day I hope he finally stops the screaming . My other baby is 6 months and super good!!!!!! However, his brother is my hitter and problem child. Ugh

[Sprouts]

Didn't read all the replies so this has likely been said already but....the swaddle saved us! We also read a book by Dr.Harvey Karp called "happiest baby on the block" which was great. We didn't drop the swaddle until my daughter was 5 months!!

Here in Canada we get a year mat leave so we usually don't have to deal with this stuff as DCP's.

Just curious, when you swaddle is that the arms as well or below the arms? Is this the same as the sleep sack?

[nannyde]

He will eventually get use to it. He is here 530 am to 630 pm 6 to 7 days a week.

Is he in protective daycare?

13 hours a day 6 days a week is 78 hours a week
13 hours a day 7 days a week is 91 hours a week

Those hours he is there are all awake hours. He must not be getting any AWAKE parent time at all.

What you are seeing is a human baby who is not parented. It will not get better no matter what you do.

[Ariana]

Just curious, when you swaddle is that the arms as well or below the arms? Is this the same as the sleep sack?

Arms as well yes. We then progressed to the one arm swaddle and then below the arms. It was a slow progression to get rid of the swaddle. Then she went right to a sleep sac!

[Blackcat31]

So I talked to mom a bit about it and did get confirmation that he is nursed to sleep, she sleeps with him in her bed. He is held almost 100% of the day. She is fully aware of the AP parenting downfalls when she plans on putting him in daycare. She has an older child age 3.5 who she AP'ed and the girl adjusted to daycare well, HOWEVER, this one is not the same and she admittedly said she just doesn't know what to do because she had so much trouble BF'ing her oldest that she is really enjoying the fact that she is sucessful with this one.

She said she feels like she has to pick between BF'ing and "having a good daycare child".

If this were to be a regular child in my care (she has asked and I haven't answered yet) I just don't know what to tell her. She brought a paci today and a pillowcase from her bed. I slipped the pillowcase over the mattress and secured it tightly. I used the paci, but he cries around it. I will keep trying that. She said he hates swaddling...which I found out when I tried to swaddle him. (He freaked out).:confused:

I honestly think he is just so used to being literally attached to someone that he has no idea how to go to sleep. When I fed him his 11:30 bottle, he kept trying to drift off to sleep. I woke him to finish but as soon as he was done, he started to cry. That is when I used the paci. He just kept crying. I think in all honestly, I am going to have to do a bit of CIO with him.

How long is "safe" to let him cry? I will rub his back and try to sooth him but he seems to start getting really worked up and crying super hard so I pick him up, he stops crying and then when I lay him back down he starts again. Do I just keep doing that?

Again....a million thumbs up to those of you who take the time to do this with an infant....

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, CIO when you cannot one-to-one is the only thing that is going to work while caring for a houseful of other kids. Daycare and AP just don't mix. He is being trained to need his own adult.

BF'ing and Daycare mix just fine. ALL my current kids came here as newborns and breastfed well. They were all enrolled prior to birth.

I wish I had a answer you wanted to hear. At least now you see why I would not have accepted him into care, here.

I LOVE babies, but not all Parents will work within my peaceful, happy group. If they cannot tolerate CIO, we can't work together. I really don't do it to push my agenda... The screaming is just too much for the other littles to bear for their 50 hours a week here.

I must do what is best for the ENTIRE group of children, not one Mothers wishes. Daycare is not the best thing out there, but for some it is the only option, YKWIM? I know it is hard as a Mom, that is why I did not do it again with my own.

[Ariana]

Can you wear him in a babybjorn or something? CIO on an infant this young isn't recommended. They have to be 4 months AND 14 lbs.

[Cat Herder]

Can you wear him in a babybjorn or something? CIO on an infant this young isn't recommended. They have to be 4 months AND 14 lbs.

Where did you find that? What source?

This is straight from the Doctor Sears site that many Mom's seem to be refering to recently:


So the main question is, how does a mom prepare herself and her high-need baby for the day when she has to return to work (I won't discuss dad's here)? Here are five main ideas to help make this transition easier for everyone. These also apply to non-high need babies:

Well, the number one most important note is to get your baby used to the caregiver early! Fortunately for this particular mom, she has another 5 months or so. Many parents only have six weeks of maternity leave. Start getting your infant used to the other caregiver early, weeks or months before you go back to work. Have the caregiver watch your infant for a few hours twice a week. Try to get the caregiver to spend a lot of time holding, talking to, feeding, and singing to the baby. This repetitive contact will allow your baby to develop a relationship with the person.


The younger you start this process, the easier it is. Most newborns don't really care who is feeding and holding them, just so long as someone is (with some exceptions of course). It is therefore fairly easy to get your newborn accustomed to another caregiver. This is not true for many infants older than three months of age. By this age, they often do care who is holding them, and it better be someone they are used to! This becomes even truer by 6 months of age when stranger anxiety sets in.


Try some introductory sessions together - this is more practical for an in-home daycare situation with only one caregiver. Stay with the baby and caregiver for a number of introductory sessions. Let your baby see you having fun and being close and friendly with the caregiver. This may not be practical for a daycare center. They may not allow you to accompany your infant to a daycare center and stay. If they do, than concentrate on one or two of the caregivers who plan to be there long-term.


Try not to start daycare during the late fall and winter - young infants are really susceptible to catching colds during this time. While older children can tolerate colds and coughs with little problem, young infants can get a lot sicker from common colds. There is one particular cold virus in the winter called RSV that is very contagious and can cause breathing difficulty and wheezing for several weeks. If at all possible, delay going back to work until the late winter and spring.


Try to choose a smaller in-home daycare if affordable - research has shown that infants get sick less often in this type of daycare than they do at larger daycare centers. The more kids and caregivers, the more germs will be passed around. It will also be much easier for your high-need baby to accept a single caregiver in a smaller setting.


Try going "cold turkey" - some infants, especially non-high need ones, don't require the above preparations. They may be happy being watched by anybody. They may fuss a little, and go through a few days of being clingy. But some will get used to the new situation quickly.


A note on high-need babies - I have given you some strategies to try to help get a high-need baby ready for daycare. Now for the bad news - this plan may not work on high-need babies. You may go through all of this preparation and when it finally comes time for you to go back to work, your baby won't accept it. He may cry and scream no matter what you or the caregiver do. Some will only cry for several days, then get used to it. Others, however, will cry and scream for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week as long as they are in daycare. I have seen this happen to a couple of mom's who really did need to work. Their babies spent months crying every day. They never did get used to it. If your baby doesn't accept the situation, you need to decide what to do. If using an in-home daycare, you may need to offer the caregiver more money to care for your child (no one knows better than you how much extra work a high-need baby is).

Dr. Bob

[Ariana]

Where did you find that? What source?

The Sleep Easy Sleep Solution book which is a form of CIO I did with my daughter. I don't have the book handy to directly quote where they say it or why but you can check our their website.

http://www.sleepyplanet.com/index.html

[nannyde]

Where did you find that? What source?

This is straight from the Doctor Sears site that many Mom's seem to be refering to recently:


So the main question is, how does a mom prepare herself and her high-need baby for the day when she has to return to work (I won't discuss dad's here)? Here are five main ideas to help make this transition easier for everyone. These also apply to non-high need babies:

Well, the number one most important note is to get your baby used to the caregiver early! Fortunately for this particular mom, she has another 5 months or so. Many parents only have six weeks of maternity leave. Start getting your infant used to the other caregiver early, weeks or months before you go back to work. Have the caregiver watch your infant for a few hours twice a week. Try to get the caregiver to spend a lot of time holding, talking to, feeding, and singing to the baby. This repetitive contact will allow your baby to develop a relationship with the person.


The younger you start this process, the easier it is. Most newborns don't really care who is feeding and holding them, just so long as someone is (with some exceptions of course). It is therefore fairly easy to get your newborn accustomed to another caregiver. This is not true for many infants older than three months of age. By this age, they often do care who is holding them, and it better be someone they are used to! This becomes even truer by 6 months of age when stranger anxiety sets in.


Try some introductory sessions together - this is more practical for an in-home daycare situation with only one caregiver. Stay with the baby and caregiver for a number of introductory sessions. Let your baby see you having fun and being close and friendly with the caregiver. This may not be practical for a daycare center. They may not allow you to accompany your infant to a daycare center and stay. If they do, than concentrate on one or two of the caregivers who plan to be there long-term.


Try not to start daycare during the late fall and winter - young infants are really susceptible to catching colds during this time. While older children can tolerate colds and coughs with little problem, young infants can get a lot sicker from common colds. There is one particular cold virus in the winter called RSV that is very contagious and can cause breathing difficulty and wheezing for several weeks. If at all possible, delay going back to work until the late winter and spring.


Try to choose a smaller in-home daycare if affordable - research has shown that infants get sick less often in this type of daycare than they do at larger daycare centers. The more kids and caregivers, the more germs will be passed around. It will also be much easier for your high-need baby to accept a single caregiver in a smaller setting.


Try going "cold turkey" - some infants, especially non-high need ones, don't require the above preparations. They may be happy being watched by anybody. They may fuss a little, and go through a few days of being clingy. But some will get used to the new situation quickly.


A note on high-need babies - I have given you some strategies to try to help get a high-need baby ready for daycare. Now for the bad news - this plan may not work on high-need babies. You may go through all of this preparation and when it finally comes time for you to go back to work, your baby won't accept it. He may cry and scream no matter what you or the caregiver do. Some will only cry for several days, then get used to it. Others, however, will cry and scream for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week as long as they are in daycare. I have seen this happen to a couple of mom's who really did need to work. Their babies spent months crying every day. They never did get used to it. If your baby doesn't accept the situation, you need to decide what to do. If using an in-home daycare, you may need to offer the caregiver more money to care for your child (no one knows better than you how much extra work a high-need baby is).

Dr. Bob

Hmmmmm

I don't agree with most of that. I think the thing he needs to say is that most Moms by far will believe their baby is a high needs baby whether they are or not. It's impossible to tell if a baby IS high needs when they are cared for from day one by having an adult every second of their life holding, walking, rocking, co-sleeping, etc. It's impossible to tell if the baby is high needs if the only time they are not attached to an adult they are in motion equipment.

All of that and not a single connection to belly time and how belly time is the best exercise you can give your baby. Not a word about how to manage crying with belly time and how to cycle feedings and napping around belly time.

Not a word about putting your baby to bed WIDE awake and not doing ANYTHING to lull a baby to sleep. Nothing about a cool temperature, warm clothing on the child, dark room..... you know the stuff that REALLY does matter in establishing a healthy sleep routine and thus a happy UP time.

I don't think Dr Bob has ever taken care of someone elses baby by himself ten hours a day five days a week. This shows clearly that he knows nothing about group care.

He doesn't bring up any of the things that REALLY make a difference in putting an infant into group care. He doesn't have a clue because he doesn't take care of kids. I think medical doctors need to stay out of the business of child care. They aren't trained for it and they don't have any expeirence doing it. They are advising Moms on something they know nothing about. They learn what words make them money but not words that work.

[Cat Herder]

I agree, Nan. I am really interested in what the "NEW" recommendations are, though. :confused: I have had a few clients refer to that site and have to be able to explain why it does not work.

I could not do most of what he is suggesting, thankfully nobody has ever even asked.

Every couple years there seems to be a new theory and I will be having a whole new group in the next two years to prepare for as all my currents go off to preschool.

I really only know what works for me.