Kid Told Me He Is Going To See His New Daycare...

[Blackcat31]

I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.

Nice to see you back

I have been through this sort of thing before and I suggest that you tell dad right now that you will NOT become part of their custody dispute. You are the kids child care provider and have NOTHING to offer him in court accept to state the facts pertaining to the kid and the kids ONLY. You are not required to become involved in anything other than what directly affects your care to the kids and the kids themselves.

I have had parents want me to testify in court saying they were a good or bad parent or say something against the other parent and that is just not okay with me. Too many times parents think you as the provider are willing to step forward and say "Yeah, mom (or dad) is a bad parent or doesn't do this or that...etc etc.". In reality anything other than how well they stick to your contract and the condition of the children at drop off are the only things you know as facts. Anything else you know is purely hearsay and only something that one parent told you. Unless you observed anything else, you really have nothing to testify about. Even whether or not the parent pays on time or foolows your policies is really not that relavant to what type of parent they are.

I hate when parents try to put the provider in the middle of this kind of thing. I understand that we do build a close relationship with the children and families but we are in no position to testify in these types of situations. I am sure there are a few situations that do require us to get involved such as abuse and neglect but even then, those are things we would have actually had first hand account of and not just heard it through the grapevine, girlfriend, boyfriend or disgruntled divorcing parents.

Hang in there....

[Springdaze]

That happened to me, too. I knew the kid was leaving in sept because i told the parents i couldnt hold a full day spot just for their kid in half day kindy and when there was no school. In June the kid said something about the new daycare, ok in sept. then the mom asked me if she could change hours and I said yes but couldnt give her a big discount because the kid would still take up a full time slot. she said that she would see what else she could do. then she said the kid was going on vaca for a week. I said at the end of that week to bring bathing suit when she comes back and was told she was going to spend the rest of the summer at her uncles house! thanks to facebook I knew that wasnt true. she owed for the vaca week and 2 weeks notice and I never heard from them again!

Dont take any of it personal because they go where the money is best! I couldnt give her a deal, so she left! and this is a lady who would make special trips to pay me and had my daughter over for sleep overs, and even did a lice treatment on my daughter when I found one bug in her hair. Friendship only lasts when it works when it works for them!

[Unregistered]

I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.

you do need thicker skin, and to be direct not all over the place. Set up your rules and then stick with them and make them basic and to the point.

It sounds like the parents stuck you in the middle of their drama. Get out of it. Be direct and tell them you want to know why they are leaving you. Did you do something wrong? Speak with both of them- don't play sides. Wish them well...... and start looking for another child to replace. It is hard not to get personal with these kids and familys, because your right we take care of them and bond with them etc...but just don't do it! Don't take it personal. look at it as one door is closing and another opening and learn and move on. Get your rates up there at the level of everyone else, your worth it, and you under cut yourself and make it hard for providers to get what they are worth when you offer very low of rates. Kids will come, it may take longer but you will end up with families that respect you verses the ones that are just looking for the best deal. I also find that burn out happens to providers that offer low rates. Good luck- hope it all works out, just love the guy as you have and wish him the best when he leaves.

It sounds like Dad loves you-
Mom has issues- Correct? Jump out of the drama and stand up for yourself. You have a whole group of caring providers here to help you through this......take and leave the helps, do what works for you, but make sure you act as a professional, because it does effect all of us providers as a whole. Again good luck-

[countrymom]

I would start advertising. What parents don't get is, is that we don't have people knocking on our door looking for spots. This is why we ask for notice. Its rare that any of us are doing it "because we need something to do" many of us need the income, so we need to have always have a back up plan or family. I suggest that you don't get in the middle of their custody battle, sounds like its going to get ugly.

[sharlan]

I am glad that you finally know what is going on. It should relieve part of the stress and drama.

I would stay out of their custody battle. I did that once in my late teens and it quickly got turned back on me when the judge asked why I didn't report things to CPS. I didn't even know CPS existed. Never again.

Yes, I would start advertising.

[wdmmom]

Verbal notice has been given. Granted you still need their written notice but start advertising today! I wouldn't even list it as a potential opening. List it as an opening starting early to mid December.

And, if it just so happens that you get some bites on the ad, start interviewing. Even if the original family comes back with a change of heart, the ball is in your court! YOU decide whether it would be more advantageous to take on one of the new ones or keep the old family.

(Personally, I don't do back and forth...once I catch wind of what's up, they are leaving whether it be by their own admission or by me enforcing it.)

[MissAnn]

I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.

yes....advertise all over facebook. Let your parents also advertise for you! I've offered a finders fee before.....that worked for me since parents are not going to try to get Little Johny who hits and bites into the daycare. Let the leaving parents see that you and not going to lie down and die.....you are going to advertise aggressively and life moves on. Glad you are staying. I felt "lynched" in a post before and it did hurt my feelings. Some posters can be a little aggressive sometimes....but just weed through those. I didn't really keep up with this post.....but I'm just sad when someone wants to leave when this is such an awesome forum of sharing ideas.

[mismatchedsocks]

I would advertise, and if you are worried about the dcm seeing it, block her from seeing the post, but she did give you a last day, so that is the go ahead. Good luck!

[Christian Mother]

Yea!! So glad you decided to stay with us!!

Def. advertise!! FB, Friends, Family, CL, Care.com, Flyers,!!
Advertise aggressively just as the other post specified. Don't worry for this mother as she isn't worried for you. You received a verbal so I would take that and let them know you've excepted that as a verbal however; you can always draw up your own term letter with that specific date and have them sign it there if they stall. If they get up set just say I've taken the liberty of drawing up it for you all as I know you all busy this time of yr. LOL!!

As far as the father asking for you to keep tabs on dcm..Blackcat31 gave you WONDERFUL infor. on how to handle that and I would even write it out word for word and hand it to him so that he has it in writing you will not participate. You can verbally tell him that as well. Your interest is always just for the children that is all your obligated to do unless there was ever any signs of abuse or neglect. Do not fall for the game of playing between disgruntled parents. You don't need to be placed in the middle.

I am soooo happy you've decided to come back to the board...it's addicting right?!! ::::

[Crystal]

I would definitley start advertising. It has been discussed and you have a final date. Good luck, I hope you fill your spaces quickly.

[jen]

You REALLY make alot of assumptions about parents. I see it from you all the time. Why is it that you are so jaded when it comes to parents....you seem to think they are ALL out to get us?

THIS is the type of thing I am SICK of. From EVERY provider who does this on a regualr basis. It is disgusting.

Blah, blah, blah....

[Texasjeepgirl]

Wow... I don't log on often enough.. I suppose...
I have tried to read this all the way through.. I mostly read everything the first page.. and.. I mostly read everything the second page...
after that.. I basically faded out...
too much stress for me this FRIDAY night that I'm sitting alone .. bored.. and reading.. ..

but.. in the end..
I guess I feel the OVERWHELMING NEED to throw in my 2 cents worth...That's probably all it will be worth to ANYONE..

I've been in daycare over 19 years now...
so.. I actually HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME...
very similar situation..
and.. honestly.. it's been so many years ago..
I can't remember it now..

Here's my CURRENT OPINION..
First of all..
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.. don't they?
so...with that said..
Honestly.. I WOULD NEVER have approached a parent regarding this issue..if I'd been told by a child..
I just would NOT DO IT...
I'd have kept my mouth SHUT.. period.. end of discussion..
Now.. I'm ALL ABOUT open communication between child care provider.. and client...
I am..
I say it in my PARENT HANDBOOK..
BUT.. IF one of my kids had told me that..
I would NOT have asked the parent..
why..?
I don't know. I guess I agree with several of the providers on here..
it COULD HAVE BEEN that they were looking for evening care..
it could have been that they were looking for care when she was on vacation the following week..
OR.. YES... it could have been that they were thinking of moving their child..
but.. I honestly still would not have mentioned it to them..
if they want to shop other providers..
either because of fee..
or location...or hours of operations.. or alternate services that might be provided elsewhere... then.. let them shop ..
if they find someone they feel will meet their child care needs in a better way.. then let them give proper notice.. and move on with life..

IT HAPPENS.. all the TIME..
the great thing about daycare..
IF you provide a quality LEVEL of service... IF you have a professional attitude...
then your clients will KNOW THAT...and RESPECT THAT...
and if they decide to move on...
then let them MOVE ON..
There are always more children..
Hello.. what is it now.. 7 billion people on the planet now..
hello..
child care providers..
JOB SECURITY..
people keep having KIDS..

Now.. as for the protecting your income..
you need to stop what you are doing.. and you need to RE TYPE YOUR PARENT HANDBOOK..
I'm NOT going to tell you WHAT TO DO..BUT... I will say this..
for over 15 years I had it in my PARENT HANDBOOK that parents were REQUIRED to give 2 weeks ADVANCE WRITTEN NOTICE of withdrawel of their child.. AND.. payment was due for those 2 weeks..
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I was burned... people call on Sunday evening and just say.. we decided to let grandma keep the kids.. to save us money.. or.. we chose another provider.. better location.. or whatever..
OR,.... plenty of them that just never showed up again..
well..
I ended that..
I charge a 2 week deposit..
I do allow them to PAY IT OUT.. if they need to.. but.. once it's paid.. it's on record..as a credit.. until they give proper notice...
if they give proper WRITTEN NOTICE..then.. last 2 weeks of care are paid..
if they don't.. they forfeit deposit..
I've had it happen both ways.. .. believe it or not..
If you have a Parent Handbook that is well thought out.. and protects you.. the provider.. then.. you wouldn't need to worry about whether they are planning to leave or not..
so they leave..
let them give notice..
and leave..
but..
there is ONE THING every single provider needs to remember..
NO ONE is EVER going to treat you professionally.. until you have a professional contract/handbook.. and.. until you conduct yourself as a professional.. and to ambush a parent... and third degree them about whether they are LEAVING YOUR CARE...because you had 4 year old JOHNNY tell you that he went to VISIT his new daycare..
well
sorry... but
NOT PROFESSIONAL..
NOT AT ALL..
period..

sorry if I stepped on any toes..
just MY OPINION.. that's all..
I spent 19 years arriving at the PARENT HANDBOOK I currently use..
Will it suit everyone?
No.. but.. it suits me.. and.. after 19 years of this business.. I JUST NOW feel like I'm DOING IT RIGHT.. I am able to provide quality care.. love the kids.. enjoy our days together.. AND protect my business with good policies and clear communication about those policies from DAY 1 ...

https://www.tammyschildcare.com

[Crystal]

Blah, blah, blah....

::::::::::

[KAWISTA9]

I just feel that she has been doing it all wrong. You low balled yourself and then because your contract did not protect your two weeks deposit for a week that none of your children are paying for, you change your contract in the middle of it because of what the little boy said. UNPROFESSIONAL...UNDERHANDED...WRONG! Protect your income and your professionalism by letting it go and starting fresh and correct with somone else. That is unfair and they didn't give two weeks notice at the time that you thought anyway...I hope that you get paid when they do, but I think it was wrong to try to get payment for a week you were never going to get paid for. You are not a bad person and are charging too low of a rate, but YOU DID IT. Deal with it...learn from it and do better. Always keep your integrity! We have to **** so many things up and I am dealing with that right now. I am losing out on money because I was allowing a mother to be late with her payments and I finally had to terminate her. I am not going to force her to pay me the money that I owe because I allowed this to happen, I was wrong, and I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. You bent over backwards for them because of your love and kindheartedness...stay loyal to what you do. God allowed this to happen to teach you to develop this backbone and make necessary changes...

[Lucy]

Wow... I don't log on often enough.. I suppose...
I have tried to read this all the way through.. I mostly read everything the first page.. and.. I mostly read everything the second page...
after that.. I basically faded out...
too much stress for me this FRIDAY night that I'm sitting alone .. bored.. and reading.. ..

but.. in the end..
I guess I feel the OVERWHELMING NEED to throw in my 2 cents worth...That's probably all it will be worth to ANYONE..

I've been in daycare over 19 years now...
so.. I actually HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME...
very similar situation..
and.. honestly.. it's been so many years ago..
I can't remember it now..

Here's my CURRENT OPINION..
First of all..
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.. don't they?
so...with that said..
Honestly.. I WOULD NEVER have approached a parent regarding this issue..if I'd been told by a child..
I just would NOT DO IT...
I'd have kept my mouth SHUT.. period.. end of discussion..
Now.. I'm ALL ABOUT open communication between child care provider.. and client...
I am..
I say it in my PARENT HANDBOOK..
BUT.. IF one of my kids had told me that..
I would NOT have asked the parent..
why..?
I don't know. I guess I agree with several of the providers on here..
it COULD HAVE BEEN that they were looking for evening care..
it could have been that they were looking for care when she was on vacation the following week..
OR.. YES... it could have been that they were thinking of moving their child..
but.. I honestly still would not have mentioned it to them..
if they want to shop other providers..
either because of fee..
or location...or hours of operations.. or alternate services that might be provided elsewhere... then.. let them shop ..
if they find someone they feel will meet their child care needs in a better way.. then let them give proper notice.. and move on with life..

IT HAPPENS.. all the TIME..
the great thing about daycare..
IF you provide a quality LEVEL of service... IF you have a professional attitude...
then your clients will KNOW THAT...and RESPECT THAT...
and if they decide to move on...
then let them MOVE ON..
There are always more children..
Hello.. what is it now.. 7 billion people on the planet now..
hello..
child care providers..
JOB SECURITY..
people keep having KIDS..

Now.. as for the protecting your income..
you need to stop what you are doing.. and you need to RE TYPE YOUR PARENT HANDBOOK..
I'm NOT going to tell you WHAT TO DO..BUT... I will say this..
for over 15 years I had it in my PARENT HANDBOOK that parents were REQUIRED to give 2 weeks ADVANCE WRITTEN NOTICE of withdrawel of their child.. AND.. payment was due for those 2 weeks..
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I was burned... people call on Sunday evening and just say.. we decided to let grandma keep the kids.. to save us money.. or.. we chose another provider.. better location.. or whatever..
OR,.... plenty of them that just never showed up again..
well..
I ended that..
I charge a 2 week deposit..
I do allow them to PAY IT OUT.. if they need to.. but.. once it's paid.. it's on record..as a credit.. until they give proper notice...
if they give proper WRITTEN NOTICE..then.. last 2 weeks of care are paid..
if they don't.. they forfeit deposit..
I've had it happen both ways.. .. believe it or not..
If you have a Parent Handbook that is well thought out.. and protects you.. the provider.. then.. you wouldn't need to worry about whether they are planning to leave or not..
so they leave..
let them give notice..
and leave..
but..
there is ONE THING every single provider needs to remember..
NO ONE is EVER going to treat you professionally.. until you have a professional contract/handbook.. and.. until you conduct yourself as a professional.. and to ambush a parent... and third degree them about whether they are LEAVING YOUR CARE...because you had 4 year old JOHNNY tell you that he went to VISIT his new daycare..
well
sorry... but
NOT PROFESSIONAL..
NOT AT ALL..
period..

sorry if I stepped on any toes..
just MY OPINION.. that's all..
I spent 19 years arriving at the PARENT HANDBOOK I currently use..
Will it suit everyone?
No.. but.. it suits me.. and.. after 19 years of this business.. I JUST NOW feel like I'm DOING IT RIGHT.. I am able to provide quality care.. love the kids.. enjoy our days together.. AND protect my business with good policies and clear communication about those policies from DAY 1 ...


www.tammyschildcare.com

Now THIS is the most level-headed thing I've read on this forum site in a long time. Amen to every word you said. I couldn't agree more.

Edit: I love your handbook!! It's so complete and covers anything and everything. I may have to steal from it, with your permission of course! Oh, btw, it's spelled sepArate, and sepAration. (Sorry, I get in trouble sometimes for correcting spelling!) And also, I noticed you didn't mention Memorial Day in your holiday list. You've really put some time into developing your handbook - I can tell. Nice job.