What To Do, What To Do?

[littlemommy]

DH just found out on Friday that his job is ending in January. His company is eliminating his spot in our town, but is offering him a job 11 hours away in Northern Texas. If we move, he will be working the same job and keep all of his benefits.

We are so torn on what to do. His job is what he went to school for, and there are no other jobs around here in his field. If he does take anything else, we won't have health insurance (and we're expecting our 2nd baby in January.) Neither of us has ever thought about moving-especially out of state. We have both lived here our entire lives, our families are here.

I tried finding the daycare regulations for Texas, but the page I found just had the Table of Contents, not the actual listing.

[Springdaze]

I am kind of biased, because I wouldnt mind moving at this point, but it seems like it wouldnt be a bad idea for you to move. if he has a guaranteed job, thats great! I found something i hope helps you.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/About_Child_Care_Licensing/start.asp

good luck!

[awestbrook713]

Wow that is so tough. I don't have any advice since this is purely a decision your husband and you will have to sit down and talk over but just keep your head up things will work themselves out and you will decide what is best for you and your family. Good luck

[MyAngels]

Oh boy. I feel for you. DH and I moved half way around the world for his job once, but that was long ago before we had children, and we had no choice as he was in the military . We always said that we were fine as long as we had each other, and as it turns out we were right. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[littlemommy]

Thanks ladies.

I think the hardest part would be moving away from our families, especially right after we have our parents' 2nd grandchild.

As far as daycare goes, it would take me some time to get set up. That would be hard, since we rely on my income. We would definitely be scraping pennies until I got going!

[safechner]

I am so sorry to hear that but it is good thing for them to offer your husband a job in Texas.

I would move to Texas with husband for job with all same benefits. I know it is hard for your families but sometime it will work out.

I moved away from my family (13 hours away) to Texas to live with my husband (bf at that time) about almost 13 years ago. We visited to my parents once or twice a year. Everything works out for me.

[wdmmom]

I don't think I would consider moving right off the bat but I wouldn't abandon the idea either.

Your DH will get severance/unemployment/etc to alleviate some of the financial burden. And, sometimes families have to take jobs they didn't go to school for.

Consider the cost of living, the distance from family, if your DH's employer is paying for all travel/moving expenses, etc.

Is he on a timeline to make a decision?

[boysx5]

we have had to move for dh job but it was before I started doing daycare now we wouldn't move I make too much to give up my business. Plus I have my two oldest boys who are both in high school and they wouldn't want to move. As far as moving away from family that was very hard for me but over the years I have gotten use to it

[MsMe]

I would love to have the oppertunity to move so far awy from my family right now!

Ofcourse I am teasing and understand this is a tough choice for you.

Make some lists, talk with your families, sleep on it and repeat untill you feel like you "know" the right choice.

I tend to "feel" when I have come to 'right' answer.

Don't forget COMMUNICATION!!!!


Good luck

[Meeko]

My parents are in the UK and I am in the USA. I see them approximately every other year when they come here for three weeks vacation. But it has sometimes been over 5 years between visits. The visits will soon end as they are in their 80's. We are sending just our daughters to them next year because we can't afford for us all to go.

I would kill to only be 11 hours away!... I haven't seen my only brother for 25 years which was the last time I could afford to go home..I have nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews I have never met.

My advise is to go where they want to send your husband. The rest will fall into place.

[SilverSabre25]

When does your DH have to decide?

11 hours away is a long way and it's certainly something I would consider very carefully if I were you.

Call the local licensing people for the area and find out if you can get a copy of their regs so you know what you'll be up against if you move.

Do you know anyone who lives or has lived near there that you could talk to about the area? Will your DH's company pay for you and he to go out there to house-hunt before the move, even if he doesn't take/keep the position?

That's a tough one...even without tossing the new baby into the mix! I certainly don't envy you the situation.

[mac60]

Being that our family is struggling financially so much right now, as in not buying groceries because we have no money.....If your husband has been offered a transfer and is able to continue health benefits, there would be no doubt that I would say yes. 11 hours is a days drive, there are lots of opportunties to take long weekends to see family throughout the year.

Until you have been in the situation where you don't know how you are going to pay your bills and have no medical insurance.....today if you have a job, you need to keep it. They are far and few between in our area. I am sure the company will help with the moving expense. Your husbands is one of the very lucky ones out there.
Good luck.

[littlemommy]

They haven't given him a definite date. They have only said that his job here is expiring after the first of the year. They will fly us out there to check the place out, and would help with moving costs. That's huge.

He's worried that if he takes a job here, it'll be a job that anyone can get. There is nothing in his field of work here. We would be completely starting over no matter what we decide.

I'm not too worried about starting up a daycare in a new state, but it would definitely take time to get it up and running. At least we would have insurance with his job. Too bad I can't get unemployment while I'd be getting my business going!

I think as of right now we need to visit the place. We'll probably fall in love with it and be ready to move right away! haha

[SilverSabre25]

They haven't given him a definite date. They have only said that his job here is expiring after the first of the year. They will fly us out there to check the place out, and would help with moving costs. That's huge.

He's worried that if he takes a job here, it'll be a job that anyone can get. There is nothing in his field of work here. We would be completely starting over no matter what we decide.

I'm not too worried about starting up a daycare in a new state, but it would definitely take time to get it up and running. At least we would have insurance with his job. Too bad I can't get unemployment while I'd be getting my business going!

I think as of right now we need to visit the place. We'll probably fall in love with it and be ready to move right away! haha

There you go! Think positively!

It's great that they'll fly you out there to look, that really is a help.

Today is my DH's first day of a new job. He had his old job for five years--ever since he graduated college in fact. He was one of the most senior people in his department, and we found out in April that they are eliminating his department and that DH would be laid off in December. We're lucky in two ways--one, that he found a job before getting laid off, and two, that his old job was willing to slide his schedule and allow him to work BOTH until the lay off in 7 weeks. We're starting from scratch here too, and it's a bit of a bummer, but ultimately we're in a better place.

Really I guess that taking the "sure thing" is a good way to go, although it might not hurt for your DH to put out feelers and look for something a little closer to home.

No matter what, get ready to embark on a brand new adventure for your family!

[dave4him]

Wish we could move back to my family. We live here with my wifes family. She hates her job though and if we could move from her family and friends it would be very difficult. Its hard. I too am not working the job i got my degree in. A lot of people are in the same boat