What To Do, What To Do?

[Mrs. K]

Texas economy is better

Without a doubt move there, he is very fortuniate to be able to transfer because I know many people that have lost jobs, houses, retirement ect. Though in all honesty most refused to make the changes to keep those things, and then it became a domino effect.

A very close relative of mine made almost 100k a year and lost her job, so did her husband in a small town. Refused to move to Tx, he got a job offer by the oil fields. This was five years ago and they are living in a rental, no insurance and its a mess...yet they refuse to move or cannot deal with change...mind boggling.

I understand you're worried about your daycare but I would put up flyers, advertise as soon as you get there to get clients...even before you get a license if you have to. I personally believe anyone should be able to watch a small number of children without being licensed but that is me.

I moved from a different state and was able to get filled right away through diligent advertising, so you'll be fine if you're determined!

[littlemommy]

Our biggest reason not to take the offer is we would both be leaving our families. It would be so hard to take their only grand babies away from them. My mom took it pretty hard when we told her there's a possibility we may be moving. She cried, and it made me bawl. I honestly can't imagine raising my kids without her.

I would miss all of the little things. No more picking asparagus on country roads where my dad grew up, gardening with my parents, teaching my mom how to cook, making brownies when my little brother doesn't have school. My husband has even said that he would miss my brothers the most. They are best friends! Our 22 month old son is obsessed with my oldest younger brother. He walks around and says his name every day. Even when we were on vacation a few weeks ago he was asking about him. Dangit, now I'm bawling again!

[youretooloud]

If it weren't for our elderly parents...and the fact that we'd never sell our house, we'd move in a heartbeat.

It sounds like your husband's job is very important.

My brother moved all over with his job, it was a wonderful experience, and while we missed them (his kids are my kid's age) we all did just fine.

[Rachel]

I think you should go for a year. If you hate it, you can always move back and be no worse off. Try it, you may like it. This from the lady who moved 7000 miles away from her family and has no regrets (misses family, yes, but living in the best place for me and my family).

[littlemommy]

I think you should go for a year. If you hate it, you can always move back and be no worse off. Try it, you may like it. This from the lady who moved 7000 miles away from her family and has no regrets (misses family, yes, but living in the best place for me and my family).

This is kinda what we're leaning towards right now.

However, this is an opening with his company in our town, but it's not in his field. That would keep us here, but he could end up hating the job since it would be an indoor/outdoor job, working with crabby customers, and not in his field.

I have been an emotional wreck since Friday. So has my poor mother.

[morgan24]

What a heart wrenching choice to have to make. Hopefully something will work out before his job gets eliminated and you won't have to decide what to do. I feel bad for your mother, I have older children and grandchildren that I adore that live near me and I would be upset if they had to move, but I would understand and maybe follow them. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.

[Blackcat31]

This is kinda what we're leaning towards right now.

However, this is an opening with his company in our town, but it's not in his field. That would keep us here, but he could end up hating the job since it would be an indoor/outdoor job, working with crabby customers, and not in his field.

I have been an emotional wreck since Friday. So has my poor mother.

What are the pros and cons of keeping his current job (in a new state) versus the job not in his field but with same company and not moving? Is there a chance he could advance or move to a new department in the future or would he be stuck in the same department? If he takes new job in new state, what are the chances the company will eliminate that position in the future?

I owuld make a list of pros and cons for both jobs and list every little thing that it will affect from him, you, the kids, your families etc and then take an honest hard look at your lists....

What a hard place to be in.... hope you guys can figure it out and do what is best for you all.

[momofsix]

Sorry to hear that.

As others have said, at least you have options to consider, that's a huge blessing.

Really though, 11 hours away is not that bad. My oldest dd is in the military and when she's stationed anywhere under 15 hours we LOVE it!!! No, it's not the same as "just around the corner", but it's better than across the country or even across the world! If you want to, you (or they) can easily drive 11 hours in one day-or 2 if you need to. We've done many looooong road trips with our girls-they're really not bad

That being said, this is something you and your husband need to decide together. Don't jump to anything, take your time if you can and don't let others sway you from what YOU two decide is right for you!

[littlemommy]

What are the pros and cons of keeping his current job (in a new state) versus the job not in his field but with same company and not moving? Is there a chance he could advance or move to a new department in the future or would he be stuck in the same department? If he takes new job in new state, what are the chances the company will eliminate that position in the future?

I owuld make a list of pros and cons for both jobs and list every little thing that it will affect from him, you, the kids, your families etc and then take an honest hard look at your lists....

What a hard place to be in.... hope you guys can figure it out and do what is best for you all.

Pros of keeping current job and moving:
He knows and loves the job that he went to school for and has been doing for 7.5 years
Pay raise! Would be able to keep company benefits
Cheaper cost of living where we'd be moving and no income tax
Warmer weather-no more harsh winters
Longer gardening season for me and longer bike riding season for him (he loves that part!)
Meeting new people, discovering a new part of the country (both of us have only been to Texas a few times) It'd be an adventure!

Cons of moving:
Being away from family and friends (a month after our baby is born!)
I'd have to re-start my business (but I'm not too concerned)
Missing the small things
selling our house that we JUST finished doing renovations on. We wouldn't have my dad to help us with home projects

Pros of taking job here that's not in his field:
He knows who he'd be working with
We'd stay home!
Benefits would be the same

Cons of taking job here that's not in his field:
He may end up hating it in a short amount of time and regretting not taking the chance of moving.
The chances of moving up are close to none


If we move, we figure we can always move back if we really don't like it or miss our families too much. We're going to visit the area in 2 weeks and will make our decision after that.

[Blackcat31]

Pros of keeping current job and moving:
He knows and loves the job that he went to school for and has been doing for 7.5 years
Pay raise! Would be able to keep company benefits
Cheaper cost of living where we'd be moving and no income tax
Warmer weather-no more harsh winters
Longer gardening season for me and longer bike riding season for him (he loves that part!)
Meeting new people, discovering a new part of the country (both of us have only been to Texas a few times) It'd be an adventure!

Cons of moving:
Being away from family and friends (a month after our baby is born!)
I'd have to re-start my business (but I'm not too concerned)
Missing the small things
selling our house that we JUST finished doing renovations on. We wouldn't have my dad to help us with home projects

Pros of taking job here that's not in his field:
He knows who he'd be working with
We'd stay home!
Benefits would be the same

Cons of taking job here that's not in his field:
He may end up hating it in a short amount of time and regretting not taking the chance of moving.
The chances of moving up are close to none


If we move, we figure we can always move back if we really don't like it or miss our families too much. We're going to visit the area in 2 weeks and will make our decision after that.

Sounds to me like you guys have a pretty good game plan! Make sure you keep us posted on how the visit went.

Never regret the chances you took in life.....only regret the ones you didn't take.

[Christian Mother]

It's such a hard choice and I feel your struggle.
My husband was layed off 3 wks ago and he's been looking for another one in the same field but there isn't anything close to what he made not to mention health ins. We've been getting by with with him being a Handyman. It's whats saving us not to mention the pay out from his vacation time. It's soooo scary.

If his company said that he had the option to move to TX with same pay and benefits as well as help on moving and free airfare on visiting the plant out there...I'd take it in a heart beat. All my family is out here as well. But they understand with out a doubt that we would have to do what we have to do to make ends meet. I'd look at it as a adventure for the family. Holidays become that much more important and memorable. That doesn't mean also that your family can't come up to see you either. My parents live here to and we are close..my husbands live in OR. I absolutely love flying the family out to see them bc it's a break from our day to day lives.

For us...it's very scary to not have a back up plan...to not have the options you have. I would at least go out there and check out the plant...see how you feel. Change is scary...but it is a good change. This could be a very good thing for you.

[Country Kids]

It's such a hard choice and I feel your struggle.
My husband was layed off 3 wks ago and he's been looking for another one in the same field but there isn't anything close to what he made not to mention health ins. We've been getting by with with him being a Handyman. It's whats saving us not to mention the pay out from his vacation time. It's soooo scary.

If his company said that he had the option to move to TX with same pay and benefits as well as help on moving and free airfare on visiting the plant out there...I'd take it in a heart beat. All my family is out here as well. But they understand with out a doubt that we would have to do what we have to do to make ends meet. I'd look at it as a adventure for the family. Holidays become that much more important and memorable. That doesn't mean also that your family can't come up to see you either. My parents live here to and we are close..my husbands live in OR. I absolutely love flying the family out to see them bc it's a break from our day to day lives.

For us...it's very scary to not have a back up plan...to not have the options you have. I would at least go out there and check out the plant...see how you feel. Change is scary...but it is a good change. This could be a very good thing for you.

This, this, this! You worded it so perfectly! I so wanted to comment but the words weren't coming. Thank you for saying this.

My husband took a different job in a different field. He didn't want to move for several reasons but now I think he sometimes regrets it. I wanted to move sooooooo bad but we didn't and now I think he sees it may have been better but he has a good job, already received a promotion so its fine for now.

[littlemommy]

It's such a hard choice and I feel your struggle.
My husband was layed off 3 wks ago and he's been looking for another one in the same field but there isn't anything close to what he made not to mention health ins. We've been getting by with with him being a Handyman. It's whats saving us not to mention the pay out from his vacation time. It's soooo scary.

If his company said that he had the option to move to TX with same pay and benefits as well as help on moving and free airfare on visiting the plant out there...I'd take it in a heart beat. All my family is out here as well. But they understand with out a doubt that we would have to do what we have to do to make ends meet. I'd look at it as a adventure for the family. Holidays become that much more important and memorable. That doesn't mean also that your family can't come up to see you either. My parents live here to and we are close..my husbands live in OR. I absolutely love flying the family out to see them bc it's a break from our day to day lives.

For us...it's very scary to not have a back up plan...to not have the options you have. I would at least go out there and check out the plant...see how you feel. Change is scary...but it is a good change. This could be a very good thing for you.

The more I think about it the more excited I get. We have been looking at houses in Texas, and I think we'll be able to make our dream of having an acreage come true for cheaper than what we bought our house in town here. That makes us both excited, but then again we see how many foreclosures there are in the county, and wonder why there are soo many. What if we want to move back here and can't sell our house there? As of right now we have to sell our house here.

My mother is a complete wreck. She missed work yesterday because her stomach was upset, she said probably from nerves. My 3 brothers and parents have all said that they are so sad they won't see our son every day like they do now. DS LOVES his uncles, and talks about them every day. They'll barely even get a chance to meet our 2nd before we move. I think that is the saddest part-our kids not seeing their grandparents every day like they do now.

I'm rambling. I just need to get it out.

[Rachel]

Sounds to me like you guys have a pretty good game plan! Make sure you keep us posted on how the visit went.

Never regret the chances you took in life.....only regret the ones you didn't take.

I agree!

I also think even thought the relationship is different, it's not better / worse. No, my mom is not just around the corner, but she gets to come and spend really intense time with me and the kids. All the more so you are only going to be 11 hours away. Long weekends together, a short flight down when the airfare has an amazing special, maybe meeting up for some weekends somewhere between the 2 places so you are each only driving 5.5 - 6 hours and doing a family weekend that way.

I think if you don't try it, you will regret it. It doesn't sound like your husband would be excited about the job he can transfer to. If he's only been working 7.5 years, that's a LONG time before retirement. I say give it a shot and see how it goes, you may just be surprised.

[safechner]

The more I think about it the more excited I get. We have been looking at houses in Texas, and I think we'll be able to make our dream of having an acreage come true for cheaper than what we bought our house in town here. That makes us both excited, but then again we see how many foreclosures there are in the county, and wonder why there are soo many. What if we want to move back here and can't sell our house there? As of right now we have to sell our house here.

My mother is a complete wreck. She missed work yesterday because her stomach was upset, she said probably from nerves. My 3 brothers and parents have all said that they are so sad they won't see our son every day like they do now. DS LOVES his uncles, and talks about them every day. They'll barely even get a chance to meet our 2nd before we move. I think that is the saddest part-our kids not seeing their grandparents every day like they do now.

I'm rambling. I just need to get it out.

I can answer your questions to find why there are so many. When we bought a brand new house for our first home. In Texas, the bank approved no matter how much. For example, they approved $200,000 to get a mortgage loan that we knew we cannot afford that. There are so many banks approved and many people cannot afford that. The banks are at fault to give so many loans to people who cannot afford it. I know it is sad. I was shocked to hear my friend who got approved around $220,000 on their brand new house because we knew they cannot afford to pay mortgage loan and also I know they have bad credit. We knew they will be going foreclose their house if they can't keep up with their payments. About a year later, they cannot afford it and give up their home. That is the reason why there are so many foreclosures.

Hope it helps!