Just Drafted The Letter Of All Letters For The Daycare Parents

[permanentvacation]

I would not give that to the parents. You have stated a problem with almost every aspect of a typical daycare day. Which shows me that you have no control over the children, and are not able to get the required paperwork completed by your adult clients. Basically, like someone mentioned already, sounds like you have no control over your business at all.

I do, however understand that you probably have been trying in a nice way for a while to get the children and parents to do what you need them to do and by now are fed up and ready to explode. So you made a list of EVERYTHING that they are doing wrong.

I'm a little confused with your food program form. Maybe it is different for each state. But in my state, Maryland, EVERY child that attends my daycare MUST be enrolled in the program. So I have them fill out the enrollment form the moment they hire me and I turn that into the food program.

When a parent tells me they want to hire me, I make them sit right here with me and fill out the contract, pay for their 1st week, and fill out the food program enrollment form. So, from now on, you might want to make the parents fill out all the required forms that they can at your home and give it to you immediately as soon as they tell you they want to hire you.

As far as your letter, my opinion is that you break your list up to one or two things at a time to give to the parents every couple of weeks/maybe once a month. Your current letter has way too many problems that need to be fixed at the same time. So, if your main concerns are the food program paperwork and them being wild at pick up time, maybe just address those two issues at this time. But I'd keep it kind of short, not too wordy. Something like; Some parents haven't turned their food program forms in yet. I am unable to claim your child on the program until they receive your form. I am sending home a second form to everyone. If you haven't returned yours, please fill this one out and return it to me by this Friday so I can mail it for you. If I do not receive a form from you by Friday, I will have to raise your weekly rate to include the amount that I would be receiving from the food program.

You might want to wait til Monday to tell them that since you didn't receive their form Friday, you will have to raise their rate to include the food program amount.


And for the running around, something like; The children have been a bit overexcited when parents come for pick-up time. So, instead of having free play until parents arrive, we are going to start cleaning up 20 minutes before the end of the day and watch an educational television show while waiting for the parents.

I would give each parent a new food program form to fill out in case they lost theirs.

Honestly, I would just verbally tell my parents that I'm going to have them clean up and watch tv before pick up time. I wouldn't even write that in a letter to them.

I also noticed that you have the parents put the kids shoes and coats on. Maybe you can have the children's shoes on for them before the parents arrive. I assume that you have them all keep their shoes off all day to keep your daycare room cleaner. But, if it is causing trouble at pick up time, and making the parents have to be there longer, you might want to put their shoes on for them. Instead of letting them play at pick up time, you could put their shoes on them then let them watch an educational tv show while waiting for parents. Then the kids that are not being picked up might stay interested in the show and stay seated instead of running around the house. Or, it sounds like there are two of you running the daycare, maybe one of you can keep the other children occupied with a game/activity while the other one of you helps the parent at the door by getting their child's shoes on and staying right with them to keep their child from running around. You could have the children sit at a table with manipulatives such as a puzzle, stringing beads, sorting bears, a handfull of blocks, etc. while waiting for the parents.

[WImom]

I would send it home with the pick up rules/problems part and food program part but that would be it (Leave the rest out). I'd also include a new form and stamped envelope for each parent.

I just send out my pick up problem letter a few days ago (I had posted it here) and yesterday all three families were out my door in 5 minutes. It was great. Normally it would be 15-20minutes.

[Unregistered]

I am so stressed out, and tired of picking up all the slack here, while they drop the ball at home, so I am laying it all out there for them. Things have to change or I will start weeding out kids and families! I have an entire new set of kids on my waiting list, so no problem filling spots. I know many of you would say that it is too personal, but you know what, they want me to care for their children, they are going to see things from my side and how it is affecting me as a person. Here is the letter:

You need to figure out these issues.......don't send that letter. They don't need to see things from your side. They don't care about your personal issues. They care that you love, and keep their child safe while they can't. I think you need to have a sit down with your helper and decide who is going to do what and when.

Food program, have them fill it out in front of you, then you send them all in.
Clean up before leaving......20 minutes is a good time, and don't expect it to stay that way but don't expect them to trash it either. Teach and redirect to slow down activities

Have them ready to go, you have an idea of who is being picked up when. Five minutes before........great for your helper to do.

Personal issues address with the parent over a telephone conversation. Don't blame, just try to resolve. I don't like that so and so is hitting when its time to go, what can we do to resolve this issue?

When the child is with parent........its their time. What they do and how they do it is not your concern. Just have consistency in your time. kids thrive on it....they don't want to sleep, they don't........but it is quiet time. Face it sometimes we don't get breaks as providers, not the parents issue.

Give yourself a break.....no need to burn out when you seem to have a true love for what you do. Just think of days like those as little hick up moments and reward yourself with Closing time and the fact that you make a difference even if it's small in the kids lives. New kids will only bring on a new set of problems..........deal with what you have......but you deal with it and alter your program to work. Good Luck. I feel for you, we have all had days like your having, or weeks or months.....etc....

[sahm2three]

I would not give that to the parents. You have stated a problem with almost every aspect of a typical daycare day. Which shows me that you have no control over the children, and are not able to get the required paperwork completed by your adult clients. Basically, like someone mentioned already, sounds like you have no control over your business at all.

I do, however understand that you probably have been trying in a nice way for a while to get the children and parents to do what you need them to do and by now are fed up and ready to explode. So you made a list of EVERYTHING that they are doing wrong.

I'm a little confused with your food program form. Maybe it is different for each state. But in my state, Maryland, EVERY child that attends my daycare MUST be enrolled in the program. So I have them fill out the enrollment form the moment they hire me and I turn that into the food program.

When a parent tells me they want to hire me, I make them sit right here with me and fill out the contract, pay for their 1st week, and fill out the food program enrollment form. So, from now on, you might want to make the parents fill out all the required forms that they can at your home and give it to you immediately as soon as they tell you they want to hire you.

As far as your letter, my opinion is that you break your list up to one or two things at a time to give to the parents every couple of weeks/maybe once a month. Your current letter has way too many problems that need to be fixed at the same time. So, if your main concerns are the food program paperwork and them being wild at pick up time, maybe just address those two issues at this time. But I'd keep it kind of short, not too wordy. Something like; Some parents haven't turned their food program forms in yet. I am unable to claim your child on the program until they receive your form. I am sending home a second form to everyone. If you haven't returned yours, please fill this one out and return it to me by this Friday so I can mail it for you. If I do not receive a form from you by Friday, I will have to raise your weekly rate to include the amount that I would be receiving from the food program.

You might want to wait til Monday to tell them that since you didn't receive their form Friday, you will have to raise their rate to include the food program amount.


And for the running around, something like; The children have been a bit overexcited when parents come for pick-up time. So, instead of having free play until parents arrive, we are going to start cleaning up 20 minutes before the end of the day and watch an educational television show while waiting for the parents.

I would give each parent a new food program form to fill out in case they lost theirs.

Honestly, I would just verbally tell my parents that I'm going to have them clean up and watch tv before pick up time. I wouldn't even write that in a letter to them.

I also noticed that you have the parents put the kids shoes and coats on. Maybe you can have the children's shoes on for them before the parents arrive. I assume that you have them all keep their shoes off all day to keep your daycare room cleaner. But, if it is causing trouble at pick up time, and making the parents have to be there longer, you might want to put their shoes on for them. Instead of letting them play at pick up time, you could put their shoes on them then let them watch an educational tv show while waiting for parents. Then the kids that are not being picked up might stay interested in the show and stay seated instead of running around the house. Or, it sounds like there are two of you running the daycare, maybe one of you can keep the other children occupied with a game/activity while the other one of you helps the parent at the door by getting their child's shoes on and staying right with them to keep their child from running around. You could have the children sit at a table with manipulatives such as a puzzle, stringing beads, sorting bears, a handfull of blocks, etc. while waiting for the parents.

I am going to finish the rest of your post, but wanted to reply to a part of it quickly before I forget. They are all enrolled, but the part that wasn't turned in is the income sheet to see if they would qualify for the higher reimbursement. Which most of them did qualify, but when the new paperwork for the year came in, only 2 of the families sent it in, and they weren't my low income families. So I have at least 4 other families who would be qualified for the low income and I would be reimbursed MUCh better, it would over double what i am getting back. THAT is why I was upset about that part.

[Unregistered]

Don't send it yet...

While I agree with the points that you make in your letter, you need to read it again and rewrite it and take some of the emotional charge out of it. Also, you'll need to make it shorter if you want it to be read by the parents.

I think that you'll get better results that way.

[Unregistered]

No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

I am just wondering, about the running upstairs, are they gated or is your daycare in a basement. At the pick up time I only leave so many toys out, and the last hour of the day kids shoes are on and they are ready. During nap time I separate them because they will keep each other up. The worst one goes in a pnp or separate room.

I don't know your setup, but maybe you can do some changes. I agree parenting has gone out the window, its terrible what we see.

[sahm2three]

No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave

I am just wondering, about the running upstairs, are they gated or is your daycare in a basement. At the pick up time I only leave so many toys out, and the last hour of the day kids shoes are on and they are ready. During nap time I separate them because they will keep each other up. The worst one goes in a pnp or separate room.

I don't know your setup, but maybe you can do some changes. I agree parenting has gone out the window, its terrible what we see.

A lot of my upstairs when the toddler/baby area is is hardwood. The kids don't wear shoes in the house, so they were constantly rounding the corners in the loop from my living room (which is carpeted), to my entry way, kitchen, and dining room (which are all hardwood). Someone ALWAYS biffed it running around the corner, so I made the No Running rule. I have them all gated into the living room area (which is huge) and don't allow them out unless we bring them out. But my screamers HATE the gates. Even though their area is huge, they hate being gated in. They FREAK. If I had them gated in the other side they would want back in the living room. A nightmare I tell you!

My basement is where the big kids can play (4 and up. I have video monitors set up so I can see everything. But I don't have any that old right now, so it only gets used by my own kids).

[Kaddidle Care]

Oh my!

Dear Parents,

I need a vacation so I'm off to visit Mickey. See you in 2 weeks!

Honey, you need a break.

Sorry you are dealing with all of this. It sounds like a nightmare.

I would sit on that letter a few days and really think hard about sending it. Perhaps prioritize the most important things and strive for 1-3 that are on your list.

They will Never read the whole thing I can almost guarantee it. It's too much all at once.

Sigh.. not sure what else to say.

[MyAngels]

I am going to finish the rest of your post, but wanted to reply to a part of it quickly before I forget. They are all enrolled, but the part that wasn't turned in is the income sheet to see if they would qualify for the higher reimbursement. Which most of them did qualify, but when the new paperwork for the year came in, only 2 of the families sent it in, and they weren't my low income families. So I have at least 4 other families who would be qualified for the low income and I would be reimbursed MUCh better, it would over double what i am getting back. THAT is why I was upset about that part.

I wonder in this situation if you could give them the paperwork to fill out along with an envelope addressed to your food program sponsor, but have them return the sealed envelope to you to mail so that you know they filled them out but can't see their information?

I confess I don't know much about that aspect as I've never done it - just throwing ideas out there .

[Unregistered]

I am going to finish the rest of your post, but wanted to reply to a part of it quickly before I forget. They are all enrolled, but the part that wasn't turned in is the income sheet to see if they would qualify for the higher reimbursement. Which most of them did qualify, but when the new paperwork for the year came in, only 2 of the families sent it in, and they weren't my low income families. So I have at least 4 other families who would be qualified for the low income and I would be reimbursed MUCh better, it would over double what i am getting back. THAT is why I was upset about that part.

Ok, I see now. Still have them fill it out and put in a envelope right in front of you. This way you know they have done it. Explain I have a dead line and so could you please take a minute to fill this out before you leave today. Or- hand them the paperwork and ask that it come back at pick up or they will have to fill it out at pick up. No excuses.

With that said.........be ready to handle the battles of the kids acting up while the parent is there. Take something out for them to do those last few minutes. A movie that will attract them, play dough....that you will clean up when they leave, anything that will keep them occupied while the parent is there and fills out your form. Expect this.......and use your helper to the fullest here.

Worth a try...

[iheartkids]

Parents won't read it...or if they do they will turn every problem around on what YOU'RE doing wrong. Believe me, I've dealt with hundreds of families over the years and when their parenting skills are being criticized they turn the blame on something else. I've found that it works best to tell the parents "these are the problems I am having here and here are the things I AM TRYING TO DO to change them", a lot of times the parents will jump on board because they want to work as a team with you. If they feel like you are shaking your finger at them they will rebuttle (not sure if I spelled that right :P).
I was once on the other side of this when I put my DD in gymnastics. The teacher was a college student with no authority in her voice or her plans. When the kids just wanted to run around and play she had a meeting with the parents telling US that we don't discipline our children enough and that is why they act up in class. Needless to say my husband and I rolled our eyes and pulled her out. Sent her to another more experienced instructor and she did great..

[emays]

I love this letter!!!!

I know this was a old post, but this letter just made my DAY!!! It say's everything that I want to say to my Families!

God Bless You....

[wahmof3]

great advice

You know what I love about this forum---- THE GREAT ADVICE!!

Everyone has some great advice here & I think if the OP reads all of these posts & puts it all together the OP will be very successful in taking back control even without a letter!

Even though I have often felt the same way as the OP, I wouldn't send the letter. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't find a solution! The food program forms do need to be addressed- I do like handing them a new form with a stamped envelope.

I had a great deal of chaos not too long ago & I sent out my monthly newsletter with a copy of my revised PHB. I did lose a family because of it, but it was a family that I had been really struggling with anyway. I kept it very, very professional. Since I took control back- I feel so much better-- a lot less stress!!!!

Good-luck, nobody said daycare would be easy, funny thing is- its usually not the kids its the parents . happyface

[sahm2three]

I know this was a old post, but this letter just made my DAY!!! It say's everything that I want to say to my Families!

God Bless You....

Thank you! I NEEDED to write the letter, even though I didn't actually send it out. It helped me get my feelings on paper. Then I could LOOK at the problems and formulate some solutions. I am trying to tackle them one at a time, with our without help from the parents! Thanks again!

[Abigail]

I know this is a few weeks old and I just read it. What did you end up doing? If I read this earlier I would say Don't Send It! It probably felt GREAT to write it down and get it all out though!!!

Here is a simple solution:
A. Make a bulleted list of all the things that bother you.
B. Create a post and we'll break it down one-by-one.
C. Discuss 1-2 topics per week with a priority.

I'm on the food program, but it's my first year so I'm making everyone fill it out while they fill out the standard paperwork. Whenever I need to renew all the paperwork, once again, they will be sitting in my home doing it for 5 minutes and I will mail it in. It's my responsibility so I will make sure I am covered. Also, did you receive a letter from your food program? If it's appropriate, I would make a copy to show the parents and ask that everyone again fill out the form while in your home unless you're sure they did it. Never let things that affect you directly go home. Have you been to everyone's homes? LOL, it's best to be kept under your supervision.

HUGS, hope you're feeling better. I also agree, if you feel like you're putting up with a lot and want to "weed out" parents, you should do a general review of your rates if you haven't raised them in awhile see if you should. You could in January, or just add to your contract that you require a supplies fee due every January of $XX per child for the year. This is better than raising rates around holidays.