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Not always fun being the boss and realizing it means we have to actually face the employee and give them a good talking too. Just be as encouraging and proffessional as you already are. Explain what you expect. Sounds like your DH and me are thinking the same thoughts though.
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"God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
Acts 13:22 -
I wouldn't tell a staff assistant that I didn't "need" them to be hurtful. I would tell them that because it would be the truth. I've had staff assistants that I needed because my license and capacity required it. I've had staff assistants because I WANT someone to do the work of the child care that I don't want to do.
There is a BIG difference between those two. The "need" staff assistant is much more expensive than the "want" staff assistant. The "want" staff assistant is much easier to find then the "need" staff assistant. Blowing off work or coming late for a "need" assistant can cause much harm to your business. The relationship and heirarchy of work with the "need" assistant is more complex because their actions and presence can profoundly affect your livlihood.
It's not personal. It's just the way registration and rules work. The majority of my eighteen years I have done care I have had "want" staff assistants. I only care for the number of kids I can legally have by myself. I truly do not NEED help. I have a helper just for ME to be happy. When they aren't doing the things I want them to do then I'm not happy.
I make it very clear when I interview that the staff assistant is for ME. I hire out the portion of the business I don't want to do. If they are coming in late they are taking away from what I want. If they are doing their nails on the couch then they are stealing time which is stealing money from me. If they are taking my time to eat my food while they are separate and away from the work they are there to do then they are stealing time from me and causing me the double whammy of paying for it.
It sounds like your job is very different than what I have staff assistants do. I don't leave my staff assistant here while I leave the premise. I would only do that for extreme medical appointments that can't be done on nights and weekends. That happens once or twice a year. I have someone else come in to supervise my assistant when that happens so she is not here alone with the kids.
My staff assistant doesn't make ANY decisions about what she does every day. She does the work that all of the assistants before her did. I decide everything and after doing this for so long that "everything" is wrought from years of experience where I know how every minute is going to go and what I want the helper to do within our system. She doesn't have to be creative or fill in the blanks. I decide what she will do and what I decide really works well.
I can out perform any staff assistant I could ever hire. I couldn't afford someone as competent as I am. My current helper is thirty years my junior and has been hand trained by me for 2.5 years and I run circles around her. I'm WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FASTER in EVERY SINGLE THING she does. I know more in my pinky then she does in her whole body. She's very knowledgeable for her age and experience but she isn't knowledgeable in the way I am. We have very low turnover so the number of kids she has had a life experience with is very small. She's only had three babies in her time here.
On the days she is gone I start getting the kids ready to go outside at the same time she does. It takes me about fifteen minutes to change three diapers, get seven kids in whatever outdoor wear they need, and get everyone from the basement to the stroller out front. It takes her about 40 minutes. When I do lunch by myself it takes about twenty minutes. It takes her 40 minutes. When I do diapers it takes me less than a minute per kid. She averages three to four minutes per kid from start to stop.
Now she does this work every day. She changes a hundred diapers for every one I change. She does a hundred lunches for every one I do. She does a hundred get kids ready and get em upstairs for every one I do. Despite the fact that she has WAY more experience doing these direct care chores with these kids than I do and is thirty years my junior... no matter what... I can pop in and have it done in a FRACTION of the time it takes her... even with my inexperience because I hire it out on a day to day.
I can work longer, harder, faster, and with more minute to minute ability because I'm a hard worker, fast, and I know what I'm doing. When I say I can do it with my hands tied behind my back and my eyes closed... I don't mean that litterally but theoretically I CAN do this at a level she simply can't. I've only had one assistant that even comes close to my abilities technically and she was here over seven years and VERY fast. She became so expensive that my business couldn't sustain another highly experienced person.
You said: If a person isn't needed why would they be on time and why would I do anything with the children if I'm "not needed" for it anyway?
If you worked here it would be because your job IS the hours I hire you for and I specifically tell you from the begining that I don't need you... I want you. I want you to do the work I don't want to do. The job IS to do what I want. The job isn't to do what I can't.
I have a really great relationship with my helpers. They stay for a long time for a worker in this business. I'm very very easy to get along with if you do your job. I'm the type of person who just puts out whatever I don't like and then forget it before I even get to the top of the stairs. I don't hold grudges and I don't expect anyone to work like I do and can. I understand that learning this craft takes YEARS and I really really take the time to teach my helper everything I know about caring for kids. These guys are phenomenal care providers when they get three years or more under their belt here.
The kind of training I do here on daycare.com and in my consulting business is the same kind of training I do IRL onsite with my helper. Anyone of the ladies on here that I have consulted with will tell you that within a few minutes of talking to me that they KNOW i KNOW what I'm talking about and can explain very complicated things in a simple workable way. If I can do that with a stranger on a situation dependent basis... you know I can pull it off with an in house worker who is with me for years with kids I know like the palm of my hand.
So........... if I had a worker that painted nail on my couch it would be a declaration of war here. That would mean that all my hard work was for nothing. If they came late and took up even more time for herself... it would mean all the work I do here doesn't matter to them. It would be an insult and I would be pissed.
Work hard and do what I tell you to do and the rewards will be a great salary... a lot of paid time off... great raises... and an education you could never get in a book or a class.
Don't punish me for all the good I do by behaving in a way that shows me that all you want out of this is easy money. I don't NEED you... I WANT you.... Make ME happy and I will make YOU happy and a lot better off financially and educationally.Comment
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I just think there is too much emotion brought into the assistant role. I hire them to do a job, they do it and stay, or don't do it and get fired. If I have to soothe emotions, coddle and cater to a person then out they go. This is a real job. A boss in any other place isn't going to care if your feelings got hurt. All they care about is you doing your job and earning your money. Thats what i care about with my assistants. I promise i am a nice person, as agreeable as possible, I don't treat my assistants like dirt or anything. but this bottom line is ....this is a job, not a fun hobby, or a place to catch up on your texts and nail painting, not a time to chat with a friend/boss. I want them to get going with their duties, get in there and get it done. Thankfully, I have just that sort of assistant now. She asks for nothing, causes no drama, has an upbeat personality and jumps right into the duties from the moment she walks in. THAT is what I am willing to pay for!Comment
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Sprouts- no worries
hopefully this thread can help a lot of us in situations with staff assistants.
My assistant is in her last year of college obtaining her ECE, she is doing really well in her courses but in field is a different story.
So yesterday afternoon after I walked down and she was painting her nails, I said I had an important business call with the bank and would be in the upstairs office- only page me incase of an emergency! I gave her her duties (afternoon creative) after 10 minutes I decided to have a fire drill
Let's just say - we would be in huge trouble it took her 8 minutes to vacate with 4 children ??? When she saw me waiting outside I asked her where the emergency bag was and child x ( who was not in attendance) and she took off running back in!
Anyway, I gave her a written warning for both the nail painting and unsuccessful fire drill and explained that one more written warning and I will have to let her go ( in contract) but I also said that a fail in the fire drill as big as that is grounds for immediate termination. Her prohibition period is over soon where she will have a review- fingers are
Crossed this set the fire under herComment
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Sprouts my requirement for lunch and breakfast are-
While the kids eat please eat along with them, as you will be seen as a role model. This means you eat what they eat, when they eat, and where they eat! If it is any other time it is on your specified lunch time and your own food.
As for you SIL I would but your foot down and tell her no more eating on your time, you didn't hire her to be a food taster.
It's even harder with family, that's why I would never hire family or friends excluding DHComment
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I don't allow eating with the kids and I don't provide food or drink. I did that for about fifteen years (providing food and drink) and it really didn't work for me. With my last hire I didn't mention offering food as a part of the salary.
I found that when the food was included it was overlooked as part of the benefit of the job. It was pretty costly as I provided breakfast, lunch, supper, snacks, and all drinks (milk, coffee, juice, hot chocolate). I would even buy their fave pop and treats. I make pretty big meals and the selection of fresh fruits and veggies is awesome here. I also bake a lot of fresh treats and breads.
It was a pretty sizeable daily bonus and I did it so I knew the person that worked for me would get a balanced healthy diet every day and I was uncomfortable having someone here who didn't get to eat what the kids were eating... didn't have the luxury of fresh and hard to make food. It made me uncomfortable not to have them have what EVERYBODY here has.
It just wasn't seen as a part of the actual salary until I changed it.
I realized that if it was free it wouldn't have value to the staff assistant. Once I quit offering it it saved me about fifty dollars a week.
When they considered the salary they received they didn't consider the money, work, dishes, shopping, etc. that went along with having all food provided. The staff "liked" it but they didn't see it as a hard cost expense of which they directly benefited.
When I realized that because it was free it wasn't considered to be part of the earning wage here I stopped providing it. Even if I would have just offered a meal with the kids and not the extra pop, treats, snacks, etc. it still woudln't have been considered as part of the wage they earned daily. It just didn't have ANY value and was costly to the business.
It was part of the lesson I needed to learn about being careful about giving free.Comment
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@ Nannyde,
Seems like you have to be pretty firm with your staff, but it seems to be working alright for you!
$50 extra a week to feed your staff member is crazy... I would reconsider if the cost was that high.
Also, I like my staff to feel wanted and needed. However, I need to remain the authority/ leader figure in all aspects. I find when you give respect you get respect and I know as an employee I would want to feel both needed and wanted. Being paid well, good benefits and perks aren't everything to me IMO.
As a follow up my assistant wrote an apology letter and a letter stating her goals and how she will meet them ( didn't ask her to)
She has also really been on the ball and said she appreciated our talk and now better understands her job and duties I am going to remain positive and see how her review goes at the end of her probation- maybe she just needs more guidance and 'training' on my part before I let her have so much freedom
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Ten bucks a day for food comes pretty quickly when you have access to fresh fruit, veggies, high quality meats and grains. Not to mention the drinks... milk aint cheap.
A big part of my service is really high quality home made food and fresh. There's no way for an adult to eat her two to three meals a day and not use up ten bucks. The kids are about five a day.
I can't offer a job where I need the staff assistant. I don't need someone so if the staff felt as you do that they would need to feel needed... I couldn't hire them. I don't have a position like that here.
If I "need" a staff assistant they have to meet certain qualifications of education and experience. That's a pricey assistant which means running a lot more kids. In this economy it's tough to stay small and strong. I wouldn't want the burden of having to run extra kids for the "need" assistant. I would rather have someone who was less expensive, undeducated, and inexperienced who I wanted rather than an expensive staff assistant who needed to be needed.Comment
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great update. I really hope your assistant keeps with her renewed effort.
I had one assistant promise to "prove herself" and then the next week, show up an hour late. some people just don't get it. hopefully, your girl does!Comment
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Thanks Cheer.
Nannyde, I get what you are saying with the want vs. Need ideology. But, sometimes I 'Need' my assistant in order to maintain my sanity
In technical terms you are right, I do not 'need' my assistant as I always keep my ratios 1:5 (Ontario laws) and I am more than capable of handling my group, for me I like the support of another adult and it gives me that extra time to prepare great meals, programming, and sanitization. She is only
P/T and comes twice a week so it gives me a nicebalance
$10/day seems like an awful lot- I also use all organic foods and meats and use a CSA for all my produce but it is not nearly as costly- thank goodness for that. My DH is also a big hunter and fisher so our freezer is always full.
However, milk is a killer for 4L organic homo it runs approx. $7Comment
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Nails??? Now that's just over the TOP for any place of employment!!!
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Assistants
I've had my fair share of assistants but my current assistant is the best one I've ever had! She is simply amazing! We work together really well because we both instinctively know what we need to do. If I'm reading books to the dcks, then she's preparing lunch or cleaning. If I'm cleaning, then she's singing songs with the kids. We are a well oiled machine and I've never had any reasons to complain about her. She is great with the kids and the parents, too.
I have her 2 or 3 days a week (depending on how I'm feeling) for about 4 or 5 hours a day and even though I don't technically need her (I'm not out of ratio or over capacity), I need her so that I can do the stuff that I don't want to have to deal with later and I need her because I like having adult conversation from time to time. She has been reliable and trustworthy. She also taught me how to be a better grocery shopper!!!
If a time comes when I have an issue with her, I'll just approach her about it and I know that it would all work out fine. If she ever had an issue with me, I know that she would come to me about it and we would work it out.
In the past, I had assistants who would call me just before they were scheduled to show up and tell me that they couldn't come because they were sick or because their children were sick. I wasn't mad about the reason for calling in, I was just mad that the lateness of the calling in didn't make it easy to call in my back up person who might have already had plans for the day. I also lost a lot of income from one assistant who had 3 kids to bring and part of her pay was free childcare. When you can only have 12 kids total with 2 providers, having the assistant's 3 kids really ate into any profit from having group care. I have had assistants that didn't like certain aspects of the job, like diaper changing or playing outside with the kids. I had one assistant who went home each day and just cried because she was completely stressed out by one of the babies that was in my daycare. He cried and cried and cried, which really got to her and frayed her nerves. Her husband made her quit, which was good because I was going to have to let her go anyway because I saw how hard the job was on her. I've had parents that didn't like my former assistants and children who just didn't respond well to my former assistants. That is never a good thing. I've had assistants that we're sure what they were supposed to do so they did nothing or they came up with reasons for not doing the parts of the job that they didn't want to do. I've had problems with for me assistants undermining my authority which is a huge problem. I can handle constructive criticism and I'm open to hearing ideas about my program from assistants but decisions are always up to me. After all, I'm the one who is assuming all of the liability for the children and it's my name one the daycare license. It's my daycare program and I can't have assistants doing things their way because they don't like my way. I can't have them badmouthing me to dcparents (which happened with one assistant) instead of coming to me first.
As far as feeding my assistant goes, I don't have a problem with that at all. There is always plenty of food to go around. The only time I have ever minded was when I had to feed my assistant and her 3 kids.Comment
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So Nanny,I don't allow eating with the kids and I don't provide food or drink. I did that for about fifteen years (providing food and drink) and it really didn't work for me. With my last hire I didn't mention offering food as a part of the salary.
I found that when the food was included it was overlooked as part of the benefit of the job. It was pretty costly as I provided breakfast, lunch, supper, snacks, and all drinks (milk, coffee, juice, hot chocolate). I would even buy their fave pop and treats. I make pretty big meals and the selection of fresh fruits and veggies is awesome here. I also bake a lot of fresh treats and breads.
It was a pretty sizeable daily bonus and I did it so I knew the person that worked for me would get a balanced healthy diet every day and I was uncomfortable having someone here who didn't get to eat what the kids were eating... didn't have the luxury of fresh and hard to make food. It made me uncomfortable not to have them have what EVERYBODY here has.
It just wasn't seen as a part of the actual salary until I changed it.
I realized that if it was free it wouldn't have value to the staff assistant. Once I quit offering it it saved me about fifty dollars a week. When they considered the salary they received they didn't consider the money, work, dishes, shopping, etc. that went along with having all food provided. The staff "liked" it but they didn't see it as a hard cost expense of which they directly benefited.
When I realized that because it was free it wasn't considered to be part of the earning wage here I stopped providing it. Even if I would have just offered a meal with the kids and not the extra pop, treats, snacks, etc. it still woudln't have been considered as part of the wage they earned daily. It just didn't have ANY value and was costly to the business.
It was part of the lesson I needed to learn about being careful about giving free.
1. do you provide time for the assistant to eat seperately? I am guessing they have to bring their own lunch...do you set requirements for what type of food they bring since they set an example, coke wouldn't be great to drink in front of them
to Nanny and all:
1. Today I gave my assistant and sister in law my updated employee handbook. A big problem i have with my sister in law is her and phone use. When she is on the infant side I catch her on the phone while the baby is just there on the floor rolling around. I suggested she use my infant and toddler curriculum book to find an activity to do, she glanced through it but thats it. I have to keep reminding her to clean up and organize. Shes a bit lazy and I am seeing improvement but how i can i put some more fire under her butt?
2. I am on the search for a new assistant...any advice on interviewing and what to look for. Nanny I read your 5 part series, very informative! But what particular questions do you ask them? Their references?
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They have an afternoon break once the kids go down for a nap so they are able to eat lunch then. My current one leaves during nap and eats at her house.So Nanny,
1. do you provide time for the assistant to eat seperately? I am guessing they have to bring their own lunch...do you set requirements for what type of food they bring since they set an example, coke wouldn't be great to drink in front of them
to Nanny and all:
1. Today I gave my assistant and sister in law my updated employee handbook. A big problem i have with my sister in law is her and phone use. When she is on the infant side I catch her on the phone while the baby is just there on the floor rolling around. I suggested she use my infant and toddler curriculum book to find an activity to do, she glanced through it but thats it. I have to keep reminding her to clean up and organize. Shes a bit lazy and I am seeing improvement but how i can i put some more fire under her butt?
2. I am on the search for a new assistant...any advice on interviewing and what to look for. Nanny I read your 5 part series, very informative! But what particular questions do you ask them? Their references?
I don't limit what they have here for drinks. I just don't allow anything hot in the playroom. They aren't allowed to take food into the play room.
I knew once you explained it more specifically you would say something about phone use. The best thing to do is tell her to leave it in her car during work hours if you aren't communicating back and forth with it within your house. I allowed my current sa to have it on her two year anniversary but the first two years she wasn't allowed to have it in the playroom. In the future I won't allow it at all even as a bonus. Even with due restraint... it's really hard for them to not be on it and distracted by it.
I am currently interviewing for a new staff assistant and I can tell just in the last three years the difference of how the applicants respond to me telling them no phone on them at work. It looks like: I recently had one who told me she didn't feel comfortable doing that and we pretty much cut the interview off at that point. Now I know I have to ASK before they come for the interview if they are able to live without a phone while they are on the clock. It's a deal breaker for me and for many many of the young women applying. Might as well save us all some time and get it over with before interviewing.
I can't help you with specific questions. I have everything I know in the five part series. The fifth one shows the job description I use when advertising and I go off of that at the begining of the interview. I ask job history that can be VERIFIED not just words about, cpr first aid training, education that gave them a DEGREE not the "have classes in", and then go thru the actual job duties (which in my house is just do whatever I ask you to do).
As I go thru the process again I will be looking for someone who is not educated in child care, not experienced, has great work references for attendance, without children, and who is NOT a leader. I really need someone who is in excellent physical condition and has stamina and speed.
If I can find a healthy, fast, childless, inexperienced, uneducated person who is a follower and able to live without their phone during work.... I will give them a shot.
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Thank you!Comment
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