Weird Things I Have Found Myself Saying

[sahm2three]

OMG I have found myself saying the weirdest things ever! Here are a few things I said today:

"X, we don't lick our friends!"
"X, that book is not a frisbee!"
"X, stop licking the cat!"

Oy! Kids!

[DBug]

"J, please don't **** my toe."

"A, please get your head out of the toilet."

"No W, that's not ice cream. It's poop."

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[Kaddidle Care]

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Gotta think on this - will edit later.

[sahm1225]

We were just talking about this!

- We don't eat the mulch.
- Please don't lick the deck
- Please don't lick the book
- Please don't pick your friends nose (which was followed by me yelling "OMG, please DONT eat his buger!")

[beachgrl]

Lmbo at this only bc I have had to say similar things and last year when I taught pre k my assistant and I started keeping a list of the crazy thingsnwe had to saynto the kids and things they said to us and each other. Let me tell u, there was a whole lot of "lick" based things like don't lick the tables, don't lick your zipper, please don't lick the chair, stop licking my calendar and many more... One of my favorites was "***ael, we don't iron ***leny's hair while you are in blocks and she is in home living" , I burst out with my ta when that came out of my mouth but that is literally what he was doing with th pretend iron leaning over the kitchn furn and ironing her hair bahahaha! Kids

[christinaskids]

"we don't chase down the parents cars when they come to get their kids"
"Don't lick your buddy"
"no we are having peanut butter and apple sandwiches, not knuckle sandwiches"
"don't touch the dogs peepee"

Just off the top of my head

[laundrymom]

Do not lick the dog
You cannot put the baby in your shirt ( trying to put 6 mo old under sweatshirt)
Hey are boiled eggs. Not cow eyeballs
No we don't bite the dogs toenails!
No flushing underwear!!!
No the deer bodies are NOT on the otherwise of the wall.
I know mommy let's you but mountain dew is not for breakfast
We do not play catch with the baby!
Do NOT eat her earwax!!
Please do not say "butt trumpet warning," please say excuse me
You can't say sorry, THEN punch.
That is NOT THE LITTLE MISS MUFFET I TAUGHT YOU and I am having a chat with daddy tonight

[sahm2three]

Just remembered another from today:

"Stop ****ing on the couch!!"

[Oneluckymom]

OMG....I'm laughing reading all of these lines!! I don't know how you girls can keep a straight face after saying some of these things. I would just be so terrible. ::::::

[beachgrl]

OMG....I'm laughing reading all of these lines!! I don't know how you girls can keep a straight face after saying some of these things. I would just be so terrible. ::::::

Sometimes I can't, I have to say it in all seriousness then turn away quickly to snicker or try not to , haha

[melskids]

the two off the top of my head....


"do not flick your buggar on her plate"::

and

" no, i do not have a hairy weiner like your daddy"

[Cat Herder]

.
That is NOT THE LITTLE MISS MUFFET I TAUGHT YOU and I am having a chat with daddy tonight

:: DICE!!!!!

I often wonder what the folks out for a walk in the afternoon think when they hear such golden oldies as:

We don't steal our friends shoes.
We don't ride our friends like a horse.
We must wear pants.
THAT is NOT fingerpaint!!!! followed by: ***, where is your diaper??????????
Where did you hide baby's head? (Unregistered, I am referring to a doll )
Who put baby in the trash/toilet?
No throwing baby.

And the like.....

[Zoe]

butt trumpet warning!? Oh man, I would bust out laughing at that one.

These are all gems! ::::::

[SilverSabre25]

"Stop tattling about him tattling!"
"We don't paint friends!"

[TBird]

Just two that ring a bell...

• "We don't ride the baby please!"
• "Well I touch Mommy's Tay-Tah's." Followed by "Yes, you touch Moooommy's Tay-Tah's, not Miss Teeeeee's Tay-Tah's!"