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Ain't that the truth!!! Chances are if she's switching dcproviders that easily, she wasn't being very reliable/trustworthy anyways; plus after telling you her SA would be coming and they're not? What'll she do when schools are closed? Let those families go who don't respect and appreciate you as a business and carer of their child/ren. All those 'nice'
providers will learn a lot slower than you did, that people WILL take advantage for their own needs and not give you any consideration at all. Doesn't take long for burn-out to happen and providers get the losing end of the deal. Nope, don't be that business owner.
Oh and I bet 99% of the providers here would've done as you did so PLEASE don't be 2nd guessing yourself.:hug:Comment
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Response
Thank you everyone for the words! I've only been in business 6 months and I'm scared to get a bad rap I guess! All other providers were like I'll pretty much do anything I can to keep a good family. And I'm just like well when her son was attending my daycare I would've helped her out a bit with the holding fee. But not if shes pulling him in February to go to after school care somewhere else.. and then I'm losing that income..plus the summer income from him.. and then I also hold the infant spot all summer.. like no way. But all the other providers are like I guess we would still take her anyway.. and I'm willing to if the spot doesn't fill in june.but I feel it will.Comment
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When I opened I toured a family that asked for 4 days of care in the email, during the tour they said they only needed 3 days by the end of the tour they said that they may only need 2 days. Every time they dropped a day, my daily rate went up. That mom got mad at me for not using the food program fully (at that time the other family brought lunch) - when I vented to my sister about this family, she said that she knew them and they were "good people" and that I should lower my rate from $28 to $20 (to equal the dc that they had, that "closed") so that I could have them in my dc. I said no thank you. If they were "good people" they would not have treated me the way they did and their other DC would not have "closed" (aka termed them)
You did the right thing and so did I.Comment
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Response to original; parents forget we are human too
Thank you all for your words of encouragement and empowerment. Today I spoke up to one of these bully parents and pretty much told her if this daycare is not working for her she has other options. I feel so much better, I did it with no apologies and I feel a new strength. And so grateful for my assistant and sub who remind me that these parents should be more appreciative and I deserve my day off.
So update on the parent that made me stand up today. This is the same parent that sent the text about me to me. Honestly, I think she’s one of those people that thrive off of drama.
Anyways, I’ve been working towards having teachers kids the last few years. So she is a teacher, new to my daycare this year. And has signed a contract with my new handbook geared towards my teachers families. I still have two families that are non-teachers and this is their last year and they are grandfathered in to my old handbook.
So here in the Midwest we have had nasty weather and schools have been closed all week. My new handbook says I am closed on no school days, including snow days. Well I have been taking the two non-teacher kids because their parents have to go to work. So today the bully teacher sends me a message asking if I’m closed. I reply technically yes, but I do take these two kids. She argues that that is not fair and that she is paying me for the entire week plus I’m taking Monday off now and I won’t even watch her kid. I kindly reminded her of the handbook and the contract that she signed, that I enjoy my low days, and there is no reason to have children on the road if unnecessary. I reminded her the weather is no fault of my own that is why I get paid, I pay my assistant and remind her that she is getting paid for not working. I then told her if this is not going to work for her family she has other options. I told her I know other home providers that close and do not have subs. And I reminded her she came from a center where she had to pay for summer childcare even though she didn’t need it. I do not charge for summers but teachers pay from the first day of school to the last, no exceptions. The two non-teacher kids do not get that, they pay for summers and have 10 excused absences.
She sent one more message, that she just thought it would be a nice gesture since I was closing Monday. I just reminded her that I follow my handbook and no. Honestly, my handbook is long because, nice gestures usually leads parents to take advantage. And after so many issues with her she is the last person I’d do a nice gesture for. I ended it with
“Enjoy your snow day” I haven’t heard from her since.
So again thank you for listening to me vent, offering advice and reminding me to find my backbone. It felt great to tell her exactly what I wanted without offering apologies.Comment
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LilDiddle, congratulations for being upfront with dcm!! Sometimes confrontation IS hard BUT it also earns the respect you so deserve! Worst case scenario is she keeps shopping for cheaper dc who she can call the shots with and you can get a more respectful dcf. Best case scenario is she learned to respect and appreciate her provider who should be 1 of the most important people in her child/ren's young years!!Comment
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Good for you Lil_Diddle happyface
The more you confront the easier it gets. Next time I wouldn’t even respond to her text. She knows the rules, she knows what your contract says and is trying to argue with you. Next time don’t waste your time by opening a dialogue with her about your policies. Any time you respond you open yourself up to her abuse.
I would seriously think about terming this sewer rat!Comment
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5 more days with termed family. Dad comes in today says “she slept a really long time tonight because she skipped her morning nap, so can you skip the nap too today”.....ummmm dude why do you think I am terming you? Your kid is tired all.the.damn.time. It is great that you can turn on the tv to entertain her 24/7 but we are a no tv daycare so she struggles from about 10:30 until nap at 12:30pm if I don’t nap her. Then she sleeps for 2 hours and is rolling around on the floor rubbing her eyes and yawning again by 4:30pm
I do not know what is wrong with this child. No idea. Parents want to spend as little time with her as possible so it is on me to keep her awake all day like I don’t know what I am doing.
I think I might change my contract to including an immediate term at my discretion and refund the deposit rather than deal with a crappy family for two weeks after the term.Comment
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:hug::hug::hug: And now you know how I got there. :::: I take no deposit and preen my waitlist regularly so I can term at will. 
My maximum refund will only ever be up to 4 days since I am paid in advance for the week. I keep that amount in cash on my desk to make me smile knowing I have the nuclear option.
Simplified.
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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I quit.
Uggghhhh...potty training. After so many years trying to convince parents to wait until their child was actually ready and meets certain criteria (with very limited success). I’ve given up. I’ve probably initiated and successfully “trained” at least 50 children but what do I know.
As long as they wear pull-ups over their underwear if they still have accidents I’ve come to the point where I just say “whatever” and just do as the parents ask. Reminders every hour? Fine. Potty chair instead of big toilet with steps and a handle because that’s what is causing the problem? If you say so. They think it’s normal for me to have to ask the child every time, they think it’s normal that the child always says they went when they didn’t, they think it’s normal for the child to sit on the potty forever until I tell them they need to get down because it’s been 10 minutes, they are fine with the child holding it all day as long as they aren’t peeing in diapers.
I’ve seen what all of this leads to. I’ve dealt with many children who have come to me “trained” and were an emotional and physical wreck because of it. In the end they usually end up actually trained much later than they probably would have if they had taken the lead instead of adults. Telling the insistent parents this information does no good.
These are the children that take forever to be fully trained instead of 1-2 weeks when adults wait until the child is ready. These are the children who seem successful but then start having accidents as 3.5, throw tantrums about trying, end up with UTI’s, have accidents any time they’re not reminded etc.
It’s always the first child. The parents with older siblings usually listen to me and let me take the lead. I can’t have this fight anymore. I’m exhausted. It doesn’t matter what information I send their child is always unique and doing so great at home unless I listen to the contradictory information about what’s really happening at home that the parent accidentally discloses. I give a packet full of actual studies and information..it doesn’t matter.
Trying to tell parents that their child is in the early stage of training where their body is partially ready (they can hold it) but their brain isn’t (can’t actually go without being reminded, needs to sit for long periods to go etc.) and that we can remind them all the time for months or wait until all systems align and have the entire process completed in a week is fruitless.
I can’t do it. I want to scream.
Conversation today:
parent: did he stay dry all day?
Me: yes, but I think he’s holding it
parent: well I guess a UTI is better than diapers
No, no. No.
a different parent: Did you see if he actually peed when he was on the potty?
Me: no, he sits for a really long time and only goes to the potty with a reminder.
Parent: can you watch to see if he actually goes. I dont want him to get a UTI.
Me: I’d have to spend an hour in the bathroom a day to catch it coming out and once it’s in the toilet I can’t tell. I have other children to care for and can’t spend that much time in the bathroom.
Parent: it’s such an individualized process with each child. He needs a lot of time to sit and get comfortable with going.
No. No. No.
Ugh.Comment
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I like this idea:hug::hug::hug: And now you know how I got there. :::: I take no deposit and preen my waitlist regularly so I can term at will. My maximum refund will only ever be up to 4 days since I am paid in advance for the week. I keep that amount in cash on my desk to make me smile knowing I have the nuclear option.
Simplified.
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Fever
If one more parent tells me their kids fever is due to the sweater they are wearing I'm going to flip my lid! Seriously do they think I'm that stupid? Or maybe they are that stupid and actually believe it's from the sweater. OMG!Comment
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2 out of 3 of my kids have the flu. Had to close today and will be closed tomorrow. One parent said I guess we will make alternate arrangements.
Hmm I guess you will. Would you like to come over and have little Johnny get the flu too?!Comment
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New daycare family:
During the initial call from dcm, when she asked the basic questions about my daycare, I told her my hours are 7:30-5:30. During the interview with both parents, I told them my hours are 7:30-5:30, and that they’ll see the front door open and porch light on when it’s time to come in (I actually do this at 7:27-7:28).
On dcb’s first day, dcm dropped off around 8, and dcd picked up around 4:00. He said, “When’s the earliest I can drop off?” Once again, I said 7:30.
The next morning while I was getting ready for work, I heard something, and looked out the peephole. There was dcd, trying to open my locked front door. It was 7:19. I went about my business of getting ready, and they went back to their car. I opened the door at regular time, and turned on the porch light. Neither of us mentioned it, but the next morning, they were parked out front at 7:16. Since then, he is out there early every day, and I never open the door early. If he wants to sit outside in the dark, that’s on him!
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