Venting Thread

[Naptime yet?]

I'm plum tuckered out. I seem to be experiencing a whole new level of exhaustion and what's worse, I can't seem to go to sleep.

It's a selfish vent, as my children have been wonderful.

[Scribbles]

And usually uncalled for.

..whether it's uncalled for or not is also a perspective.

I haven't been here a really long time as a registered user but I've been reading this board for years as a unregistered user and it seems to me that there are sometimes situations where there is history between certain users and that history affects their replies. Alot of times that history isn't known to others so like I said, everything is a perspective. What's the thought process or opinion of one poster isn't the same as anothers and I don't see why some users seem to think every one HAS to agree with each other.

Just like my daycare charges, not everyone has to agree or see things the same way. Conflict is good and can be a positive and educational thing if handled respectfully and in an adult manner. Once people start letting those that don't agree with them bother them, then thats where it becomes personal but not at the fault of the person disagreeing. kwim?

[NightOwl]

[QUOTE=Scribbles;483656]..whether it's uncalled for or not is also a perspective.

I haven't been here a really long time as a registered user but I've been reading this board for years as a unregistered user and it seems to me that there are sometimes situations where there is history between certain users and that history affects their replies. Alot of times that history isn't known to others so like I said, everything is a perspective. What's the thought process or opinion of one poster isn't the same as anothers and I don't see why some users seem to think every one HAS to agree with each other.

Just like my daycare charges, not everyone has to agree or see things the same way. Conflict is good and can be a positive and educational thing if handled respectfully and in an adult manner. Once people start letting those that don't agree with them bother them, then thats where it becomes personal but not at the fault of the person disagreeing. kwim?[/QUOTE

I also, haven't been here long, just 4 months, but I see what you mean about history between members. I can usual tell if there's some animosity going on.

[Michelle]

seriously stressed out

and I can never get a break!!!
1. first off I have a daycare with 14 kids ( 9 are under 3 years old)
2. my daughter plays softball year round and I am head team mom of two teams right now that have over lapped Summer/ and Fall ball
3. she starts school in a few weeks and haven't even began to shop,look at or even think about back to school shopping
4. I have 2 college age kids that need rides daily to school/work/ Jujitsu
( they are girls and I am paranoid, so I drive them ...no bus for them)
5. I am taking care of my disabled ( mentally and physically) aunt every day because my mom is in the hospital and has been for over a month ..she usually takes care of her but it's my job now
6. my mom keeps texting me and demanding that I go to the 99 cent store and buy some sunglasses for her friends in the hospital and got mad at me because I haven't done it yet..( she says that I don't care) I tried tonight but they had the glasses put in the back warehouse so they can wax the floor
7. I can not even watch a 30 minute T.V. show at night without falling asleep ( I work 12 hours a day and then go to board meetings, practices, the store for my aunt or some other " have to go place" but never ever anything for what i need) I have a gym membership but have not gone for 2 months
8. I am solely responsible for all of my moms checking accounts, paying her bills, collecting rent from our rental, arranging repairs of all 3 houses and juggling all of my moms stuff and my dh can not remember your name if you told him 10 times in one day ( still need to get him tested)
9. I need to go to the Dr for a serious condition that is getting worse but I have no time at all
I guess I am just grateful that my kids are healthy, my moms getting the help she needs,I am grateful for good friends, a thriving business and this wonderful forum I can come to for support
but I am so seriously stressed out that I feel like I can't breathe anymore
thanks for listening

[Unregistered]

Michelle-
It looks like you are struggling big time.Just a few suggestions to alleviate your stress.
You need to ask for more help.
Your two college age girls are more than capable of finding their own transportation with either a bus,friend,taxi,walk,bike...You get my point.
Your daughter can go shopping for her own supplies,hand her a list,money and maybe have her go with a friend and another parent.
Hand jobs over to your husband and children.They are capable.
As far as your mom and aunt,if yourvmother is no longer able to care for her maybI suggestvhiring a nurse to come in and help her.I'm sure she receives resources so take advantage of them.
Honestly sounds like you need to let the softball head mom position go.It's just too much,you are going to give yourself a heart attack and then where will you be? Seriosly consider my advice,I was you atvone point and it was miserable.Hire people if you have to but I suggest deligating jobs to your family first. Don't do it another day! You need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of everyone else!

[BumbleBee]

Dcm judges other parents when they bring their slightly sick kids to daycare. (cough, clear runny nose, getting over an ear infection, etc.) She's mentioned how she thinks other parents are irresponsible when they do this. Being a parent means you have to miss work sometimes and how can a parent do that to their child.

Guess who just dropped off their infant with an ear infection (it's being treated). Her reason? "I have to go to work so I don't lose these clients."

Oh the irony. I really want to point it out to her, but I won't. Just makes me shake my head.

[LysesKids]

Michelle-
It looks like you are struggling big time.Just a few suggestions to alleviate your stress.
You need to ask for more help.
Your two college age girls are more than capable of finding their own transportation with either a bus,friend,taxi,walk,bike...You get my point.
Your daughter can go shopping for her own supplies,hand her a list,money and maybe have her go with a friend and another parent.
Hand jobs over to your husband and children.They are capable.
As far as your mom and aunt,if yourvmother is no longer able to care for her maybI suggestvhiring a nurse to come in and help her.I'm sure she receives resources so take advantage of them.
Honestly sounds like you need to let the softball head mom position go.It's just too much,you are going to give yourself a heart attack and then where will you be? Seriosly consider my advice,I was you atvone point and it was miserable.Hire people if you have to but I suggest deligating jobs to your family first. Don't do it another day! You need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of everyone else!

I started to write this earlier, then deleted thinking I was pushing it, but I guess not... I was this person many years ago. Believe me letting things go and allowing the College kids to act as the grown ups they are would be the best thing (I was that overprotective mom... my youngest daughter now refuses to come home & visit - haven't seen her in 3 years). I finally stopped being the person everyone depended on for my own sanity and I love it...

[NightOwl]

Agreed. Michelle, I'm the same way. I feel like everything is my responsibility and it can be maddening. You HAVE to delegate for your own health and sanity. What will they all do after you've have a heart attack or stroke?? Make them take responsibility and start dishing out jobs/chores/tasks. Get a calendar and post it for everyone to see. List their daily tasks and MAKE THEM STICK TO IT!

[Annalee]

and I can never get a break!!!
1. first off I have a daycare with 14 kids ( 9 are under 3 years old)
2. my daughter plays softball year round and I am head team mom of two teams right now that have over lapped Summer/ and Fall ball
3. she starts school in a few weeks and haven't even began to shop,look at or even think about back to school shopping
4. I have 2 college age kids that need rides daily to school/work/ Jujitsu
( they are girls and I am paranoid, so I drive them ...no bus for them)
5. I am taking care of my disabled ( mentally and physically) aunt every day because my mom is in the hospital and has been for over a month ..she usually takes care of her but it's my job now
6. my mom keeps texting me and demanding that I go to the 99 cent store and buy some sunglasses for her friends in the hospital and got mad at me because I haven't done it yet..( she says that I don't care) I tried tonight but they had the glasses put in the back warehouse so they can wax the floor
7. I can not even watch a 30 minute T.V. show at night without falling asleep ( I work 12 hours a day and then go to board meetings, practices, the store for my aunt or some other " have to go place" but never ever anything for what i need) I have a gym membership but have not gone for 2 months
8. I am solely responsible for all of my moms checking accounts, paying her bills, collecting rent from our rental, arranging repairs of all 3 houses and juggling all of my moms stuff and my dh can not remember your name if you told him 10 times in one day ( still need to get him tested)
9. I need to go to the Dr for a serious condition that is getting worse but I have no time at all
I guess I am just grateful that my kids are healthy, my moms getting the help she needs,I am grateful for good friends, a thriving business and this wonderful forum I can come to for support
but I am so seriously stressed out that I feel like I can't breathe anymore
thanks for listening

Michelle, you need to take time for yourself. Just passing forward some info I hope you find helpful....these are some things I have learned the hard way. I am the kind of person who wants everyone happy and taken care of....BUT a few weeks ago, I, who has never been sick or in a hospital except to have my 2 children, got sick.....took 3 weeks of dr appointments only to be told everything could be handled if I alleviated STRESS ( my bro just got divorced, my niece/nephs are devastated/other bro has special needs kids, not to mention the normal church/family/daycare issues that takes work/time).... I have not mastered this but what I have tried to do is work with others to delegate where I could BUT alot of this is within me to say "NO"..my kids aren't even grown yet so I was scared at how bad I felt and I want my kids to have a momma! I have also picked up 30-45 minutes of walking every evening....by myself.....I am amazed at how it helps....I still have the issues in my life, but my head is a little clearer and I feel better. I DO feel for you because I know how easy it is to end up in your situation....It is easy and before you know it, your self disappears and you only exist for others....I BELIEVE firmly in helping others, but I realized I am of NO help if I am not here ALIVE! I hope this helps you and things begin to look up!

[Michelle]

Oh, wow thank you so much everyone lovethis
i really didn't realize how much it is was until I wrote it out
I know I need to cut some things back and my girls WANT to get to school themselves but I won't let them I am so scared something will happen to them

I finally got the sunglasses and I finally got a elderly transport service to come take my aunt to and from her adult " daycare" everyday, so that does elievate some of the stress
and I will take all of your advice
I know I am just at my breaking point and my 6 kids needs their mom
healthy
lots of hugs and thanks for helping

[MsLisa]

I can not leave well enough alone.

UGHHHH! I'm now nit-picking my site again. Changed my CL ad every week with new ways of wording. Keeping my FB page alive as I can. I've just designed and bought a bumper sticker for my car and made new more whimsical mini business cards. I invested in books for center ideas and i'm bound to start revamping my centers. I'm reading advertising blogs and entrepreneur sites. Maybe I should remodel my handbook...throw $10 into Facebook ads...ahhh! I've run out of sites to market in.
My brain has been non-stop for 2 days now. The crickets are getting to me.
I now know why the daycare one block away up and went after a few months last year. The "lets use grandparents" market is hard almost damn near impossible to penetrate. I wish I wasn't so impatient.

I can not leave well enough alone. *deep breathe* Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...

[hope]

I can not leave well enough alone.

UGHHHH! I'm now nit-picking my site again. Changed my CL ad every week with new ways of wording. Keeping my FB page alive as I can. I've just designed and bought a bumper sticker for my car and made new more whimsical mini business cards. I invested in books for center ideas and i'm bound to start revamping my centers. I'm reading advertising blogs and entrepreneur sites. Maybe I should remodel my handbook...throw $10 into Facebook ads...ahhh! I've run out of sites to market in.
My brain has been non-stop for 2 days now. The crickets are getting to me.
I now know why the daycare one block away up and went after a few months last year. The "lets use grandparents" market is hard almost damn near impossible to penetrate. I wish I wasn't so impatient.

I can not leave well enough alone. *deep breathe* Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...

What's the grandparents market?

[MsLisa]

What's the grandparents market?

Well, my area is very high in elderly/retired {aka grandparents} & a lot of working parents use them as free childcare.
I know this for a fact cause every day i've picked up my daughter from school {since prek to now 2nd grade} the ratio of parents to grandparents is like 1:10. SAHM's are even rarer.
Most grandparents drop them off, pick them up, & watch them till whenever. I tend to befriend them & personally talked to many in the meantime. Most are reluctant to even want to do it but I imagine feel obligated.
I can't seem to get my foot in there as the alternative.

[LysesKids]

Damn it all

i have to close unpaid due to water main breaks... why can't the damn place I live just replace all the old water pipes at one fricken time... 3 days with either undrinkable, or NO WATER... especially Friday. I need $$ due to low #'s and this may just cause another parent to bail. I actually applied for foodstamps this afternoon I am so broke

I figured I would hit a few food banks while I have no kids, just so I can feed them next week... No option because I'm looking at 100 pay on Monday morning

[Annalee]

i have to close unpaid due to water main breaks... why can't the damn place I live just replace all the old water pipes at one fricken time... 3 days with either undrinkable, or NO WATER... especially Friday. I need $$ due to low #'s and this may just cause another parent to bail. I actually applied for foodstamps this afternoon I am so broke

I figured I would hit a few food banks while I have no kids, just so I can feed them next week... No option because I'm looking at 100 pay on Monday morning

I have in my contract where I close in the event of an emergency..i.e. no water or electricity, and I get PAID....had an ice storm many years ago which taught me the hard way to protect myself! :hug: