Venting Thread

[sharlan]

I have 18 people coming for dinner tomorrow. Generally everyone pitches in to help spruce up the house and yards, shop, and prepare the dinner.

DD #1 has to work until 12, then pick up the two girls from school, then stop at the store, blah, blah, blah.

DD #2's dh is out of town, working, so no help there.

DH hurt his back yesterday, so he'll be no help, already took pain pills.

Niece has to work.

Adopted granddaughter promised to help today, but now is taking her gf to LA to pick up her bf. She came yesterday afternoon, but we weren't home.

Forgot to add, both boys are home from preschool and really wild today. I am going to leave the cartoons on all day and velcro them to the sofa.

4 yo has croup and is misserable. Mom will end up at urgent care this afternoon when she gets home from work.

Oh, well, what gets done, gets done. What doesn't won't.

[sharlan]

I forgot to add, dd #2 brought over 2 full loads of bedding this morning. 3 yo had an accident in her bed last night. It may or may not get done.

Couldn't handle dh's whining anymore, sent him off to run errands, AFTER I tied his shoes for him.

[sharlan]

SIL #1 just took granddaughter #1 and grandson #1 to the urgent care. Granddaughter has a severe sinus infection, just started yesterday with symptoms and is really sick today. Grandson #1 started croup Monday night, already headed into pneumonia.

My 89 yo mother and her 77 yo gentleman friend are coming for dinner.

[AmyLeigh]

Only 24 hours in one day???

Okay, so I am seriously behind in everything!! Paperwork, my kids' schoolwork, my laundry, bills, everything!! I try to do some in the evenings but I am exhausted by the time the dck's are gone. On weekends, my children and dh want my attention.
I just want one day with my whole family gone so I can catch up!!! But its not gonna happen because they apparently can't breathe without me within 3 feet of them!

[Michelle]

I have had this kid before. Does he **** cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm

Nan
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this...
This has been so helpful to me..

[queenbee]

New child started today, 3yo girl. I heard this all morning long:

"This phone needs new batteries."
"I think this toy is broken. The lights aren't working."
"Ms.Tee, do you have more batteries? This train isn't working."
"Why isn't the music playing when I push the button?"
"Why are your toys not working? This is suppose to light up and sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
"Do you have a DS I can play with? I left mine in my mommy's car."



She's in for a wonderful surprise of learning all about our toys at daycare that DON'T run on batteries and she'll be actively using her imagination by next week's end. happyface

[Bellefleur]

Nan
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this...
This has been so helpful to me..

I agree with you!

[Michelle]

I agree with you!

hmmmmm, interesting name, is that a city?

[sharlan]

My dh watches 14 hours of tv a day. The tv is on from 8 AM until 10 PM. I am having a very hard time trying to get the younger boys to do anything besides watch tv. Schoolwork is out the window, outside play is a battle, and they haven't been in the playroom since Monday when he was at the dr's.

We will be having a discussion shortly, but I doubt it will do any good.

[caring4kidsinSD]

Ugh my helper called in sick again today - that's 5 days in 3 months - Guess I start looking for a new helper because I need consistancy. The DCK haven't even been sick that much in 3 months. I had to cancel preschool for the 4 yr olds today because I didn't have anyone to watch the babies.

[mema]

17 month old up at 4AM this morning----WHAT??? Refused a morning nap and now has only slept for 30 min and has spent the rest of the time screaming and crying. Going to be an interesting afternoon. TGIF and almost done! That's going to be one fun evening at his house

[AmyLeigh]

I had granola in my oven when I had an unannounced visit from the County. Had to walk her through my house and the granola burned! Grrr....

[caring4kidsinSD]

Stop sending your 18 mo old girl to daycare with those stupid clip barrettes. They dont' stay in at all and all she wants to do is put it in her mouth. I'm sorry she can't see but figure something else out and I can't keep putting it back in every 5 mintues onces she takes it out!!!

[queenbee]

Stop sending your 18 mo old girl to daycare with those stupid clip barrettes. They dont' stay in at all and all she wants to do is put it in her mouth. I'm sorry she can't see but figure something else out and I can't keep putting it back in every 5 mintues onces she takes it out!!!

Buy a stash of headbands at the Dollar Tree and once Mama leaves, take the clip out and stick on a headband. If she tries to take them off, a quick shoo of the hands away from her face for a day or two will get her to stop. Headbands are my FAVORITE things, and I can get 10 of them for $1 which lasts me forever. Once Mama pulls into the driveway, switch the headband for the clip and send that baby on her happy, merry way.

I have two parents who wait until their kid's bangs are soooooo long....they are literally touching their eyelashes, before they take their kid to get a haircut. So obnoxious! I guess it's only me who notices that their child can't see and they are continually pushing their hair out of their eyes so they can see Headbands are livesavers with these children.

[countrymom]

someone is carrying the 9.5month old girl I watch, this girl doesn't let me put her down. the last 2 weeks I saw such an improvement and then monday back to the beginning, all she does is cry if she is not carried, I'm now immuned to it, she needs to learn to go and explore. And no nothing is wrong with her either.