Venting Thread

[SilverSabre25]

I have thought that maybe something is wrong, but I don't really think that I'm qualified to say one way or the other. I have heard that other family members have suggested it to dcm and she doesn't see it.

"You know, dcm, I don't know how to say this so I'm going to just do it. DCB just isn't in the same place developmentally as most of his peers. I'm really worried about him and think you should bring it up to your pediatrician--soon."

Sometimes a parent isn't going to hear it the first time someone says it, but it will place seeds of doubt. So will the second time, the third, and so on until the doubt outweighs the denial and something changes. The younger he gets therapy and assistance, the better his outcome will be.

[nannyde]

Nothing I can do about this so I'll just vent about it and get it off my chest. I have a dcb who is going to be 3 in Feb. He is obsessed with Thomas the train, he carries a Thomas the train book as a security book. He talks about trains all the time, points outside and sees trains. It's so annoying because it's constant. He also twists his hair, he just got his head shaved and now he rubs it. He cries over stupid stuff, like his sock is crooked. His twin is the complete opposite, she is out going and plays with every one. Not her brother, he sits there talking about trains or rubbing his head. He's also not potty trained and cries if you talk about it and he repeats everything you say to him, like if he needs his diaper changed and I tell him lets go to the bathroom, he says lets go to the bathroom and it goes on and on. He is my least favorite to deal with.

I have had this kid before. Does he **** cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:

http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07/thomas-the-tank-engine-and-autism-share-your-experience.htm

[Meyou]

Oh dear....my dcb who I strongly suspect has aspergers is also a Thomas fanatic right down to only wearing Thomas pants. His parents think he's quirky and extremely shy.

[kayla]

what to do im going crazy!?!

what do you do when you have a child that continually breaks the rules???? and i cant kick him out because of financial reasons.. And ofcorse he is county assistance. Everyday he is breaking toys, touching other children( big pet peeve, i have a rule keep hands to self) running, throwing toys... He diliberately waits til i leave the room or turn my back to do something naughty, i have caught him on a number of occasions. I sent his parent a letter cause its been stressing me out, im pregnant... The next week his dad told me to tell him the day it happens well everyday im telling them something new now its like their annoyed, they chalk it up to him being a boy. i chalk it up to bad parenting... i dont know what to do hes damaging my property, i literally cant make lunch with him here i make him come to the kitchen cause he cant be trusted.... He has also been kicked out of daycare before here in town... so his parents should know hes not pleasant... yet they leave him here all day when neither of them works!!!

[sharlan]

what do you do when you have a child that continually breaks the rules???? and i cant kick him out because of financial reasons.. And ofcorse he is county assistance. Everyday he is breaking toys, touching other children( big pet peeve, i have a rule keep hands to self) running, throwing toys... He diliberately waits til i leave the room or turn my back to do something naughty, i have caught him on a number of occasions. I sent his parent a letter cause its been stressing me out, im pregnant... The next week his dad told me to tell him the day it happens well everyday im telling them something new now its like their annoyed, they chalk it up to him being a boy. i chalk it up to bad parenting... i dont know what to do hes damaging my property, i literally cant make lunch with him here i make him come to the kitchen cause he cant be trusted.... He has also been kicked out of daycare before here in town... so his parents should know hes not pleasant... yet they leave him here all day when neither of them works!!!

They don't want to deal with what they've created.

[SilverSabre25]

We're under a tornado watch all evening and it's very windy. Now my phone line is down, which is disturbing. I don't have a cell phone and I'm home alone with my two kids. until 11:15. This is really bothering me, a lot. The website for our phone service is treating me like I'm an idiot'--"well if your phone isn't working it's not OUR fault" and "Troubleshoot it yourself or call a technician which will cost you $$". Yeah, pretty sure the problem is not in my house.

[morgan24]

I have had this kid before. Does he **** cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm

If you remove that fixation will they focus on something else? I don't know if he has the whole Thomas thing going on at home. He only brings a book. We only watch T.V. twice and it's never on. So is this an addiction or autism?

Thanks for the input from everyone. I plan on discussing it with dcm and I'll let you know how it goes.

[nannyde]

If you remove that fixation will they focus on something else? I don't know if he has the whole Thomas thing going on at home. He only brings a book. We only watch T.V. twice and it's never on. So is this an addiction or autism?

Thanks for the input from everyone. I plan on discussing it with dcm and I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh I don't have a clue if it's autism. I'm saying you can learn about the thomas fixation by learning why it is attractive to autistic children.

Ask them about Thomas in his life.

[sahm2three]

Today has been one of those days that makes me wonder what I could have possibly been thinking when I decided to do this job. Everyone has been crying today, almost non-stop. No fevers or anything. Just a bunch of crabby kids who all want to be held. If they aren't being held they are beating the he!! out of eachother. I have been looking into going back to school, but seeing how much it costs and how many years it will take to get where I would like to be makes me sad. I am feeling kind of stuck at the moment.

[Meyou]

DH's alarm on his phone has rang at 6am for the last 5 days in a row. I get up at 6:40 and he gets up at 7:15!!!!!!!!! WHY IS HIS ALARM EVEN ON????? AND WHY CAN HE GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I'M WIDE AWAKE????

Ok, maybe I won't kill him when he gets up now.

[SilverSabre25]

5 hours of sleep

thanks to my sweet baby boy, who apparently thinks that "way too early" is a good time to be up and giggling and ready for the day...until now, when my day is ramping up and he is ready for a nap.

It's a good thing you're cute buddy.

I need caffeine. I have a good, solid 15 hours ahead of me with NO back up or relief. Or break.

[mema]

DH's alarm on his phone has rang at 6am for the last 5 days in a row. I get up at 6:40 and he gets up at 7:15!!!!!!!!! WHY IS HIS ALARM EVEN ON????? AND WHY CAN HE GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I'M WIDE AWAKE????

Ok, maybe I won't kill him when he gets up now.

My hubby does this too
His is set for 15min before mine and he doesn't get up for at least another 45min. Drives me CRAZY!
I have started checking his phone before bed to make sure it's off

[sharlan]

DH's alarm on his phone has rang at 6am for the last 5 days in a row. I get up at 6:40 and he gets up at 7:15!!!!!!!!! WHY IS HIS ALARM EVEN ON????? AND WHY CAN HE GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I'M WIDE AWAKE????

Ok, maybe I won't kill him when he gets up now.

My niece sets her alarm for an hour before she has to get up. It goes off every 5 mins for an hour, then she still doesn't get up for another 20 mins.

[SilverSabre25]

7 hours of sleep in the past 2 days.

That's 7 hours of sleep, and 41 hours of being awake. The 7 hours were in very broken stretches.

I am so tired that I feel faintly ill and dizzy. I haven't felt like this in years. Forming coherent thoughts is very hard.

I do not know how I am going to make it through the day. I know from experience that caffeine in this state will make me jittery and unable to sleep...and nothing will help me but sleep.

I can't ask DH to help me out because a) he is being less than sympathetic and b) he really doesn't want to and c) he really shouldn't call off work right now and d) he'll just pull the "14 hour work day" card on me.

[sharlan]

I know how rough that is. Can you rest when the littles are down, or would you fall asleep?