Venting Thread

[AfterSchoolMom]

It never fails, does it?

The ONE day this week when it's the warmest day we've had since fall (67 degrees!) and DCM, who usually picks up by 4:15, still hasn't picked up by 5 pm. Now, because I went by the time that she picks up by almost EVERY SINGLE day, my son has missed a play date and I won't have any time to take the walk outside that I had planned before it gets cold and dark.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[momma2girls]

I knew it!! I have a little daycare boy that is 3, and was running a high temperature three days ago. It was at the end of the day(he woke up with it from afternoon nap) I called Mom, she was on her way in about 10 min. Sure enough the family brought the sibling the next day. Now she is sick, got my child sick, and the brother is sick again. I will be adding a sibling note in the contract for the next one going out. I am even thinking of adding it to the newsletter, but this family is the only one with a sibling here. I have 4 children, and 2 are siblings. UGHH!!!!!!

[AmyLeigh]

DCM forgot a change of clothes for the 2 yo AGAIN!!! Ugghhh....she always forgets on days I need a change. One time is was vomit, today it was an overflowing diaper during nap. So now, the little one has to wait until her pants are dry before she can go outside. She's not happy about that.
I don't understand why she just doesn't keep an extra set of clothes in the diaper bag at all times. :confused:

[sharlan]

It has. We decided to do PE before school today. I had them ride their bikes up and down the street. I live on an enclosed street, two culdisacs put together. We came in and had snack and they were ready to sit down and do "school". Right now they're watching a leap frog video.

[Countrygal]

I woke up at 4 AM unable to go back to sleep. My 9 yo usually comes about 5 AM, but didn't show up until 5:20. I figure I lost about 1 1/2 hrs sleep already this morning.

"Unlike". So sorry the day started out this way, hope it's getting better!

[sharlan]

I woke up at 4 AM unable to go back to sleep. My 9 yo usually comes about 5 AM, but didn't show up until 5:20. I figure I lost about 1 1/2 hrs sleep already this morning.

[Countrygal]

I wanna go back to the "my kid is the worst one in my daycare" rant...... It's been a terrible week with dgs!

My Daycare Hell of 10 years (Lynn's comprehensive story)

Hi everyone. I'm a daycare provider that quit in November after 10 years of staying home with my kids so that I could go to work and get away. I had the craziest most awful parents. In the mix I had a HANDFUL of decent people. I quit because of so many reasons. I posted my "last straw" story but this is the whole shebang!

In 2005, I had a set of new parents whose baby cried every single day, all day, 12-14 hours per day and nothing I could do would help her. She had colic awfully bad, I knew it, but the parents refused to buy gripe water or anything for this child. The kids came dirty, gross smelling, and her 2yo son was just nasty. He bit, kicked, screamed, yelled and seemed to deliberately hurt kids. I've watched a lot of two year olds in my day, and never saw anything like this. They would get off work at 5 and not p/u till 8-9pm. They paid me a mere $100 per week for two children. That's when she felt like paying, that is.

After that I had great parents until 2007. In 2007 I had this woman, seemingly awesome. Paid on time, everything was great. Then she went bat**** crazy. One day, her baby was just crying and didn't want to eat. I did a report and told her the baby didn't want her bottle and was not feeling well all day, but since no fever, I kept her for her. I figured she may need to take a day off so didn't want to inconvenience her by sending the kid home. I am a nurse major so if something was going to come up that was bad, I could deal with it accordingly. The next day she was kind of rude to me when she dropped off. I figured "Oh, bad day". She came early to p/u the kids for Dr. appt and told me she wasn't upset w/ me at all like I thought (yep, I asked) but that she was mad about something that happened w/ the husband. They had been fighting all night. Then she said "thank you" and "I'll see you tomorrow and have your $80" I said "Ok Great. Well, the husband came by to pick up the kids who weren't at my house. Mom had already gotten them early for the appt. He got REALLY pissed off. Says "Give me the kids' stuff" I was like "What? what is going on?" He said "Just do it" Apparently HE hated me because I was "friends with his wife" OK whatever, what can I do.I figured I would call the wife later and see if the children were coming back. Before this guy leaves, he accuses me of beating the baby up! What?!!! My husband was about to beat his a** and show him what false accusations would do to him! After this, I called "M" and told her what happened. She said "Well he's my husband so I have to go with what he says" I was like WTF!!? After all this stuff and that's your response? I told her "Well you still owe me my money" She argued about the amount because she would miss 2 days. I said "YOU guys are the ones quitting, so you owe me technically for two weeks, but if you pay through two days, we're even and I won't worry about the 2nd week" (I was trying to be reasonable) She said she had to talk to the husband. A few hours later, she calls and tells me she's not paying me and she is turning me into CPS. I said "What, for real, over a payment? I told her "You can't do that because you can get in trouble for false reporting" I told her I didn't care if she called, I wanted to be paid and she could tell them all she wanted that she owed money and waste their time. Then she said "I'll tell them you burned my baby's foot" I was like "WTF?" She said "yeah, you did it with a curl iron" I was like "B****, go ahead, say that...I do not even OWN a curling iron and they can search my house and car, I don't care" She said "Well, maybe you'll have done it by the stove" I told her "Yes, they will believe that one because ALL parents/providers just cook their babies" She got silent. She said she would do it. She made up all sorts of stuff and then calls CPS. CPS investigates, nothing happens. There was not ever a mark on that baby's foot (they say to me) I said "because---DUH, she never got hurt!" Then the woman actually asks me to finish out the last 2 days and says she'll pay me! I told her to stuff it. No way was I going to take back a child after I was supposedly "abusing" it, right? That makes no sense. A normal parent who really believes (and isn't making **** up like in her case) their child is abused doesn't want to bring them back to the abuser!

That same year, I had a loser mom who was on child care subsidy. She was to pay me a copay of $85/month and the state paid the rest. She paid pretty well the first year, but always had some reason to pay late. Because she was pretty good about paying, I took the payments after the fact (dumby me). I knew she could afford to pay because she sure could afford the $175 tattoo the $35 lip and nipple piercings, the new rims, the new Nikes for her and both kids, for the new clothes she got for herself. And the boyfriend who she was living with. She decided she didn't want to pay and said to me she wouldn't. I told her that if she didn't, I would be forced to report that to the State among her living status with the boyfriend she had never reported living there. She said she'd call CPS. She told me she'd say that I left the baby in poop #1 I would never do that and # 2 Since I was VERY pregnant WITH TWINS, there was no way in he** any baby got away with pooping and peeing without a change practically in the middle of them doing it! I was very sensitive to smells! I told her to call CPS, and I did end up reporting her to the State and she lost all her benefits. She never did call on me but she did call my home and her bf called my home while I was in the hospital delivering the twins threatening to kill my husband and our other two children. My husband told them to come on over and try it. They didn't.

Then I had a woman who called me for care and there was so much drama in that one. Her husband supposedly beat her, so she couldn't pay. Her child supposedly got molested by some dude, so she couldn't pay. I put up with it for a time, but she started owing more $ than was worth me keeping her 3 kids at night, too. One day, she never picks them up. The husband comes at like 3am (their p/u time was 9pm). He tells me he doesn't know where wifey is and takes off like he's in a panic. I am quite suspicious that they are playing me. The next day the wife calls me and tells me that she was taken from a taco bell, raped and left in the mountains (with her phone, keys, car, etc so that the kidnapper could walk away on foot) for dead and he robbed the $300 she owed me. Weird cooincidence, right? What's weirder, is that it was a "black " guy (she was prejudice) and that he jumped in the back of the van. She went as far as to report it to the news. It was all over the news that she was beaten/raped from some guy in a line at the taco bell...except there was NO one in the cameras. She described the guy as getting in behind her with a gun and making her take off out of line...IMPOSSIBLE since there was a HUGE island on the right side. Someone in front of her and someone in back of her, HOW did she get out with someone in front? Cameras captured her actually getting her food! Cops were suspicious too. She had falsely accused a ghost! A few days after telling me all about the rape, she came by and gave me $100 and asked if I could keep the kids. Before the above was disclosed on the news, I believed her, so I wanted to help. Plus she paid me $100 of the $300. I kept the kids another week and never saw another payment. I told her that I felt terribly about what happened but that I could no longer keep the kids because it was hurting my family and the twins were just newborns at the time. She left pissed off and so I called her boss. I got another $100, but mind you she'd added another $300 for the week so she still owed me $500 by the time we were done. She then disappeared off the face of the earth. She quit her job, the husband quit, and know one knew what happened, not even her mother in. I actually just found her again in. Apparently, before she moved away, she got found out by the cops and got into trouble, a LOT of trouble, which explains why she just suddenly disappeared. She'd made the whole thing up! Apparently the truth was that her husband hit her and she was too ashamed to admit it. Well, geez lady, you don't have to involve your whole family and someone else's family in your little plan to protect the husband and get out of paying me.

In 2009 I had yet another crazy family. This family daycare hopped a lot When they came to me they had a problem filling out forms, my transporting their kids to school, just about everything. I thought it was nerves since they had other issues with the daycare, but I found out later what it REALLY was.I had them over a year, so I was shocked when what happened, happened. During the course of the year, there were days the kids just didn't show up, usually right before a long weekend. The parents wouldn't tell me they weren't coming or if they were coming back. They usually paid me, but a few times they didn't. My husband joked about them taking the kids on these mini vacations to "hide bruises and give them time to heal" but I don't know why, but I had a feeling he wasn't wrong. These parents paid me to keep these kids very specific days/times because they "could not miss work" and lost out on some money here and there (their choice, I don't refund for your choices to keep your kid home) but yet they were so "poor" (their words). It was just odd. One day, right after my twins' 2nd birthday, they decided that they wanted more hours. I couldn't accommodate them because that required me to drive the kids to/from every day and I was already driving other part-time kids around ( meaning no room in my car on certain days). I let them know that if they could get their children on the bus route, I'd be happy to take the kids. They were going to do that but then for the extra days, they decided they didn't want to pay me for them. I was only charging $10 per extra day. For TWO children. Not a bad rate, I'd say. They said it wasn't fair, I knew they were poor, etc. I told them I'm not rich either and since they were having a hard time, I was giving them a hell of a rate. They still didn't like it. They told me either I let them bring the kids free or they'd make me lose the license and then "I'd see how being poor would feel" I told them "are you people insane? I don't do care for free, I live in the same neighborhood and obviously do not get rich off daycare because I work WITH people like you who need help and you have some NERVE saying those things to me!" They said that they hated me because I was taking their kids away. Ummm...How? I only had the kids part-time and then someone else had them the rest of the time (not the parents) so if anything the other provider had more time with the kids. I told them my intent was never to ever make them feel like their child wasn't theirs if that's how they felt, but that if that's indeed how they felt, why would they ask me to have the kids for MORE hours? After this, I told them I didn't think it would work out anymore. There were other issues with the children and them that bothered me over the year anyway, and I just was very uncomfortable. I had some suspicions of child abuse I had previously reported, and think maybe they knew this when trying to bully me. So I quit. The minute I did, CPS was called and I was accused of:
Not feeding the kids, beating the kids, molesting the kids. Luckily, the kids were pretty honest and told them that they DID eat at my house, I never touched them and certainly did NOT ever molest them! The police did get involved and closed their investigation when neighbors actually came to MY defense and against theirs, Even former parents who didn't pay me in the past stepped up for me. What really came out is that the child's father (actually it's her stepdad) was doing things to her. Apparently there were witnesses, so he used all the things HE did to these kids to try to blame them on me and it backfired! During the investigation, they also lost all their pets because the oldest girl was living in filth, left home alone with mice and stuff on the counters. Over the year, I never knew it was that bad. They were also evicted from their home and moved to another city. Mom promised to leave dad and once she was away 6 months, they GAVE HER HER CHILDREN BACK! I saw them one day at walmart and I was amazed to see her with them. She got back with the mad who did those things to her kid! Several other providers called me (she'd given them my #, for what I don't know) and told me their concerns too. Then one day the kid ends up bleeding everywhere and taken to the hospital one town over from me. The babysitter said she didn't know what to do. I told her to report, then quit or she'd have accusations like I did. She didn't heed my warning. She got CPS called on her too. Apparently, EVERY provider these parents used had CPS called on them for something and so it really helped our investigation. But still, you have to be crazy!

And then after that, I got smarter, but that meant no one wanted me long term. They would promise long-term but not sign the contract, or promise and then quit. I started turning people away AT THE DOOR if they showed w/o my $$. I had parents tell their CHILDREN to be nasty to me because of how I "look". The parents before the lady who called the police reporting her kid "missing" said she hated me because I should have provided more activities for the older kids (hers is a 9yo child) but yet, I ran a preschool, NOT a school-age program. I always took the school-agers if they had a sibling in preschool, but didn't have as much for them to do because they weren't in my care enough. I still made it fun, but yes, it was set up like a preschool.


These vents are just the BIGGER of the stories that led into my quitting. There were many more issues that made me realize I had been abused LONG ENOUGH!

I will do an advice thread later and when I give that advice, you'll see WHY I give it from reading this small (albeit long) snippet of info.

[Michelle]

What would you do?

I have parents contracted 6-4 everyday (10 hours). Last Monday, parents arrived 15 minutes early, at 5:45am. I figured it was a fluke, but the next day, I made sure that my lights were off in my house until 5:55- well, I planned on doing that anyway. They came knocking at 5:50, and again, the next day. DCD asked if it was ok to come 5 mins early DCM got a new job (at least I knew now why they were so early), and I agreed, because I am a pushover and don't know how to tell people no. The next 2 days they came at 5:50...

I am NOT good at confrontation and can allow emotions to affect what I say, so I decided to write a letter. I included a copy of their contract, and a letter stating that their contracted hours are 6-4, and that I will honor the 5 mins early, but if they need to drop off earlier then they have to pay an extended day fee (they were referred by a friend and I gave them a discount- they are paying the least, their kid is the youngest, and they stay the longest; I will never make that mistake again).

Anyway, DCD sends me a text and asks me to talk to them in person next time instead of writing a letter, and (this is the part that upset me), that if things aren't working out to just let them know. I thought that was that I did- let them know, professionally, and in a non-confrontational manner, that they cannot get 10 extra free minutes of daycare per day (and I didn't word it that way- I was very nice). Why would they assume things arent working out? Their kid is great, I love having him- but I do not love having him at 5:45am when he is supposed to be here at 6:00.

Why do I feel like I am the one in the wrong here? My husband says I am just overly-sensitive and that I care too much what other people think. Ugh- thoughts?
Was it bad to write a professional letter, offering them longer hours for a higher fee?

No, it wasn't wrong to write the letter...dad just wants that extra ten minutes and he is trying to scare you. stick to your guns and don't let them dictate your policies. They won't leave, they know they have it good with you.

[Countrygal]

U know, we buy everything thrift store.... don't have cable tv, don't spend a lot of money except for housing, food, etc... shoot, we don't even have a car payment right now.... however, with old cars, we have to start thinking about potential repairs....

I just want to be able to be an old-fashioned stay home mom... I home school and I want to be able to have enough gas money to run to the park once or twice a week. That's it!

My gripe is how the economy doesn't support old-fashioned ways of living now a days. It just shouldn't be REQUIRED that we have two income houses. We are great providers and all, but really, look at the state of the country and our kids these days....

Maybe we are missing being home with a GOOD mom and being raised in a family with old-fashioned values. Maybe the whole Dad gets home from work at five or six and the family eats dinner together thing is so vital that taking those roles away has been the biggest cause of the decline of our country....

Just a thought....

now, since I AM trying to stay home... some one tell me how to get my trash bill paid this week... while still having enough left over for Christmas dinner..... any suggestions????

LOL!

I know this is an older post, but I agree with it so much I just had to say that I wish there was a "like" button on here!!!!

[sahm2three]

I have decided my dream job would be me, in a cubicle, with no co-workers, and no phone to answer. Don't really care what I do, just as long as I don't have to interact with people. Ugh. It has been a rough few weeks. I am seriously contemplating quitting. It's been a day!

[momma2girls]

So annoyed with this mother. This is the baby I have been watching for 4 mos. He has sensory issues, will hardly eat, is still completely on a bottle. Has been fighting major constipation since she switched him to milk a month before his first birthday (in Sept). And parents don't really feel it is something to worry about. He also still freaks out when any new person is around. Even my mother, who has been my substitute off and on since he started.

Last Wed eve I came down with the stomach flu. My schoolager had it Tuesday night, she stayed home but was upstairs on Wed. I texted all the parents around 8pm and closed for Thursday (I don't have dck on Fri). I was sick for two days. Well...this morning(Wed a week later), this mother calls and says "Dcb just threw up all over me. You better tell the other parents because their kids will be getting it too. I don't know if he will be there tomorrow. Hopefully he only throws up this one time." I felt like I was being slapped across the face. Who knows if it is even the same thing I had, that was a full week ago, usually the stomach flu travels more quickly than that.

Also, I got a phone call from someone that this family had given my number. This woman says, "I know that baby is leaving in January, so I'm wondering if you have any openings?" Geez, that's the first I've heard of it?

I can feel the passive aggressive vibes from this woman a lot lately. I've also had payment issues from her. For awhile they were out of checks and the bank screwed up the order. So she paid late for about 4 times from that. When I finally called her out on it she acted like this would never happen again, it's just that the bank screwed up the checks. Guess what? About every other week she forgets her check book and says her husband will pay at pick up. He never does. She brings a check the next day...ugh. I'm going to copy the page of the contract that explains the $5 per day late fee and hand that to her next week when she trys to pull it again.

You ladies are so right! Don't give them an inch...they will take a mile. Guess us newbies have to learn it the hard way.

I have definately leared the hard way on everything. You make an exception for one, then another, then they all expect it all the time. I was done making exceptions about 7 yrs. ago!!!

[AfterSchoolMom]

I think that babies can sense when you're not feeling well, and the worse you feel, the worse they are.

I have (normally) the most laid back baby in the world here, but as I get sicker, he gets fussier and grouchier. He used to lie happily content and play for up to a half hour at a time...now he's screaming after five minutes.

It makes me nauseus to rock, to bounce, to bend over, or to pretty much do anything other than lay down.

UGH. Kill me.

[momma2girls]

I have one 2yr old that only gets a paci at nap but insists on trying to climb the highest mountain to get it throughout the day. He's a bear in the morning and comes in ****ing on one so mom can get him out the door. As soon as he comes in I take it and it's meltdown city. Every time since August. I want to start cutting them (paci). Drives me nuts!!!

I also have a baby (4 mo) that needs one every minute of every day regardless. If it falls out when she sleeps it's screaming bloody murder. So far every half hour it sounds like she's being murdered cause it falls out. She can't do tummy time or she screams. Doesn't do anything without it. Only time she's happy is when she's ****ing on it or the bottle. Ate 4 oz for me today (she's been here 7 hrs) and just wants the paci.

Please if you see me, kidnap me!!!

Calgon take me away!!!
I had a 1 3/4 yr. old, still with a paci 24/7- I recently placed a new policy in the newsletter regarding pacis. At the age of one, your child should be paci free, if they cannot go without it at naptime, lovies, blankets, they will be kept in their pack and play for naptime only. This little boy is almost 2, parents still have his pacifier in at home, on the way here, etc.. he onlly receives it at naptime only here, and he has done fine with it. I was so sick of him coming in, trying to get it away from him, screaming, etc. then if he let it fall out of his mouth, then the other one yr. old would have it in her mouth, or going to her mouth, losing it, etc. etc.... The Mom didn't understand it at first. Just like his lovie/blanket, he only has that at naptime as well. When he had it here, all the time, if a child, even touched it, he would scream bloody murder. UGHH!!!!!! It's worked very well here!! He still is only saying about 4-5 words, because of the paci being in his mouth, which I think is terrible, but I am not his parents!

[E Daycare]

I HATE pacifiers, binkys, ****ers etc...

I have one 2yr old that only gets a paci at nap but insists on trying to climb the highest mountain to get it throughout the day. He's a bear in the morning and comes in ****ing on one so mom can get him out the door. As soon as he comes in I take it and it's meltdown city. Every time since August. I want to start cutting them (paci). Drives me nuts!!!

I also have a baby (4 mo) that needs one every minute of every day regardless. If it falls out when she sleeps it's screaming bloody murder. So far every half hour it sounds like she's being murdered cause it falls out. She can't do tummy time or she screams. Doesn't do anything without it. Only time she's happy is when she's ****ing on it or the bottle. Ate 4 oz for me today (she's been here 7 hrs) and just wants the paci.

Please if you see me, kidnap me!!!