Venting Thread

[e.j.]

We have received a lot of snow in the past month. My handbook clearly states that when a state of emergency of any kind is declared, I will not open for the safety of all families and my own.

One family is determined to bring their children regardless. Mom yelled and cursed at me and told me my handbook didn't mean anything and that I should be open. Im convinced that some parents feel that unless my home burns to the ground, I should provide them with care. Its incredibly frustrating and upsetting.

Wow! Is she looking for a new child care provider tonight?

[Josiegirl]

I don't think you're in the wrong either, especially under the circumstances you've described. Parents who have never worked in this line of business often don't get it. While she's right that not all parents are no call/no shows, you had no way to know whether she is or isn't "that parent". Asking her to confirm the appointment is reasonable, in my opinion.

With her response, she's just given you a glimpse as to what she's going to be like to deal with as a parent. Maybe it's my mood lately but I'd be very tempted to suggest that she continue her child care search elsewhere because "not all day care providers are willing to put up with her attitude 'Just food for thought.'" (I wouldn't really do it but I'd be tempted!!) ::

Just tempted?? That's(ideally) what I would've done. Does she get reminders from her dentist and veterinarian? I do. I always thank them. This person sounds like a.....well I wouldn't have stayed open for a tour.
How did it work out anyways, just curious CenterTeacher20?

[Josiegirl]

Child is 2 years old as of a month ago.

Child came to me in July 2020 from another provider. Mom has been trying to potty train since before she came to me. Every time the child hears the word potty, she screams.

I've tried to tell mom that she may not be ready and that this is causing stress to the child and the other children (child tends to begin screaming and doesn't stop) I feel like mom is blaming me for not having the child trained.

We have received a lot of snow in the past month. My handbook clearly states that when a state of emergency of any kind is declared, I will not open for the safety of all families and my own.

One family is determined to bring their children regardless. Mom yelled and cursed at me and told me my handbook didn't mean anything and that I should be open. Im convinced that some parents feel that unless my home burns to the ground, I should provide them with care. Its incredibly frustrating and upsetting.

Are you the same person for both of these rants? I'd simply point the dcparent to what your handbook says and it's there for a reason, end of discussion. If that doesn't stop them, ask them if this means they're giving their 2 week notice.

I always wanted to have BlackCat's backbone and never achieved it but I did get a little better as the years went on. Take back your business because there are enough dcfs out there who will appreciate and respect that. And who needs the added stress of dealing with parents issues??

[Cat Herder]

Backbone is easier when you tell yourself the truth.

When you are flexible with a family you are choosing to meet their needs over your own family's to be liked. It is more selfish than simply enforcing your policies to meet your family's needs. Martyrdom.

How many times can you choose someone else over your family before your family see's no need in continuing a relationship with you?

Nurture those you love first. They chose to be there, they don't have to be.

[Jupadia]

Messaged a potential DCM this morning at 8am attempting to confirm that she was still coming for her tour today, like I always do. She read the message and it showed that she read it, but no response- messaged her again at 3pm saying to let me know by 4pm whether or not she still plans on coming at 5:30 or if she would like to reschedule, so that I can let my staff know if they need to stay for the tour or not-- and just got a message from her stating that she is apprehensive about bringing her kids here because she is an ADULT and doesn't need to be reminded of a tour and that messaging her twice was "extremely unnecessary" and ended the message with "Maybe you've had bad experiences with parents in the past, but we aren't all irresponsible. Just food for thought."

Like sure, be annoyed that I'm checking in but if a tour we're scheduling for AFTER HOURS due to covid hasn't confirmed that they're coming, is it really that crazy that I messaged to confirm??? I'm second guessing myself but like, I dont think I'm in the wrong?? :confused:

I had one last week that no showed at 6pm for their interview. To make sure I called at like 615 to see what was up. Mom thought she should be able to come after 6pm but at any point after 6pm that she wanted. Despite us setting a time for the interview. When I told her I was firm about times because I have my own family she decided not to rebook. For me once she was telling me that my schedule did not matter and she should just be able to come sometime after 6pm I knew that there was ko way this family would work. So I told her jo problem we wont worry about you rebooking. I think she was surprised that I agreed so fast and ended the call. How parents treat you before an interview with the small stuff can tell you a lot about how they will be later.

You double checking after no response to a text trying to confirm an interview is not a real reason to rethink care. She is just trying to be the one to control the situation.

[Cat Herder]

just got a message from her stating that she is apprehensive about bringing her kids here because she is an ADULT and doesn't need to be reminded of a tour and that messaging her twice was "extremely unnecessary" and ended the message with "Maybe you've had bad experiences with parents in the past, but we aren't all irresponsible. Just food for thought."

I would have responded back "Thank you for your response. I wish you luck in your daycare search. Have a great weekend." - Radio Silence

She just told you who she is. Believe her and move on to someone else. :hug:

Even my doctors office does what you did. It is risk management. Payroll.

[CenterTeacher20]

Just tempted?? That's(ideally) what I would've done. Does she get reminders from her dentist and veterinarian? I do. I always thank them. This person sounds like a.....well I wouldn't have stayed open for a tour.
How did it work out anyways, just curious CenterTeacher20?

Oh, I simply responded "I apologize for the misunderstanding and if I made you feel any type of way, that wasn't my intention at all! Best of luck in your search, I hope you find the perfect place for your kiddos!"

Lol I just termed a family where the DCM had an attitude like that, I'm absolutely grateful that I dodged this new one ! ::

[Cat Herder]

if I made you feel any type of way

::::::

Pfffttt... Pfffttt. Claws out.

That is a war cry down here. Hold my earrings. ::::

[Gemma]

I would have responded back "Thank you for your response. I wish you luck in your daycare search. Have a great weekend." - Radio Silence

She just told you who she is. Believe her and move on to someone else. :hug:

this

[CenterTeacher20]

::::::

Pfffttt... Pfffttt. Claws out.

That is a war cry down here. Hold my earrings. ::::

It was very satisfying ::

[Josiegirl]

It was very satisfying ::

Smart lady you are!

[e.j.]

Just tempted??

I wouldn't have allowed her to enroll. Just would have let her know in a more professional, less snarky way, that it wouldn't work out.

[CenterTeacher20]

I wouldn't have allowed her to enroll. Just would have let her know in a more professional, less snarky way, that it wouldn't work out.

Meh, if she took it as snarky, that's her problem.

[e.j.]

Meh, if she took it as snarky, that's her problem.

I hope you understand I was talking about the response I said I would be tempted to give her and not your actual response. I thought what you said to her was perfect and you're right....if she took it as snarky... oh, well. She started it! ::

[Alwaysgreener]

I get a call from dc over a week ago from a dad, they need care Tuesday, Thursday, and Fridays and I am only open M-TH. I let them know how to find care and tell them to call me if they have any questions.

I get a call during lunch last Thursday from the mom and they found to care for Fridays and want to set up a tour. I have something scheduled Mon-Wed after work this week so I offered them the last Saturday tour, which I do not normally offer.

Saturday won't work for them, They would like Sunday/today. I don't want to on Sunday, it is my family day, so I offer this Thurs. That might work for them but they would prefer Friday morning. I have plans for Friday Morning, so I told them that I was not available then.

I do not hear anything and start wondering if they think we are a go for this Thursday.

They want to start next week (March 3rd). I have done a quick tour and signing before (covid) and had it work out but those families worked with the times that I had available for a tour.

Well, I just got an email back:

"Thanks, but we will just find someone else that can accommodate us either virtually or in-person asap this week."