Venting Thread

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  • Leigh
    Daycare.com Member
    • Apr 2013
    • 3814

    Originally posted by Annalee
    I have a couple kids that if I was open Christmas day, they would be here:confused:
    I have had one here for the last 4 Christmases (same kid), along with Thanksgiving, Independence Day and more. He wasn't here just for the day, either, but for 4-10 days. We love him very much, and he has lived with us more than he has with his family. My husband gets furious that they don't WANT him on holidays, but says that he is glad that the boy is here, where he is wanted and loved, so that he can have what he deserves. His family aren't bad people, they're just in a bad spot, taking care of a family member's kid (they were told it was temporary, and he's been with them from infancy to this year, which is 1st grade for him). Their bio kids want time alone with mom and dad, and they cater to that (after raising this boy from infancy, their bio kids still don't see him as family). We DO see him as family, though, so he is always welcome here.

    Comment

    • Ac114
      Daycare.com Member
      • Feb 2018
      • 573

      Originally posted by Leigh
      I have had one here for the last 4 Christmases (same kid), along with Thanksgiving, Independence Day and more. He wasn't here just for the day, either, but for 4-10 days. We love him very much, and he has lived with us more than he has with his family. My husband gets furious that they don't WANT him on holidays, but says that he is glad that the boy is here, where he is wanted and loved, so that he can have what he deserves. His family aren't bad people, they're just in a bad spot, taking care of a family member's kid (they were told it was temporary, and he's been with them from infancy to this year, which is 1st grade for him). Their bio kids want time alone with mom and dad, and they cater to that (after raising this boy from infancy, their bio kids still don't see him as family). We DO see him as family, though, so he is always welcome here.
      Just because they are taking care of a family members child still doesn’t excuse them not taking care of their biological child. That’s not ok and a sorry excuse for parents. 🤷🏼*♀️

      Comment

      • e.j.
        Daycare.com Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 3738

        Originally posted by Leigh
        I have had one here for the last 4 Christmases (same kid), along with Thanksgiving, Independence Day and more. He wasn't here just for the day, either, but for 4-10 days. We love him very much, and he has lived with us more than he has with his family. My husband gets furious that they don't WANT him on holidays, but says that he is glad that the boy is here, where he is wanted and loved, so that he can have what he deserves. His family aren't bad people, they're just in a bad spot, taking care of a family member's kid (they were told it was temporary, and he's been with them from infancy to this year, which is 1st grade for him). Their bio kids want time alone with mom and dad, and they cater to that (after raising this boy from infancy, their bio kids still don't see him as family). We DO see him as family, though, so he is always welcome here.
        This has got to be one of the saddest things I've ever read. My heart goes out to this little boy. Thank goodness you and your family are there for him in a way his own family chooses not to be.

        Comment

        • Leigh
          Daycare.com Member
          • Apr 2013
          • 3814

          Originally posted by Ac114
          Just because they are taking care of a family members child still doesn’t excuse them not taking care of their biological child. That’s not ok and a sorry excuse for parents. ����*♀️
          I didn't write that very clearly. This boy IS the "extra" child. The boy that stays with us is the boy that was only supposed to be with the family for a short time. The couple caring for him has 2 older bio children, and the younger one, especially, is extremely jealous of him, and whines that he is the reason she doesn't have more time with mom, more material goods, etc. She didn't care for giving up her spot at the baby of the family, and she is quite vocal about it. The mother in this family loves him. Her husband does, too, but he never wanted to add this boy to his family permanently. They never could afford him, and they get NO help from the state for him, as they were forced to take permanent guardianship and the CPS case was closed (CPS told them it was time for guardianship and basically told them they took permanent responsibility for him or he would go to a foster home). I can understand their position, but I certainly don't agree with it. He knows that we love him, though, and he has often said that this is his OTHER home, and tells me that he is one of my kids. My son (only child) is 6 months older than this boy, and tells people that this kid is his brother (not only are they different races, but they could not be more different in looks, personality, and pretty much everything else!). They do love each other, though.

          Comment

          • Leigh
            Daycare.com Member
            • Apr 2013
            • 3814

            Originally posted by e.j.
            This has got to be one of the saddest things I've ever read. My heart goes out to this little boy. Thank goodness you and your family are there for him in a way his own family chooses not to be.
            I'm sure it is sad to read! I am so used to it that I don't even think of it being sad anymore. I get angry about it. HOW could they let him spend all that time here? How could they not miss him? It is normal to him, though, thank God. I would hate for him to ever realize that it was THEIR choice for him to be here. He usually feels that it is his choice. There were times, though, a couple of years ago, when he would ask when his mom was coming to get him. I never knew what to say. We would go many days without even hearing from them. I bought him toys and a wardrobe to keep here because we never knew if he was spending the night or the month.

            Comment

            • Ariana
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • Jun 2011
              • 8969

              Leigh thank God for people like you!! You have such a huge heart and this kid will grow to be a good person because of it :hug: I cannot imagine how this boy must feel being rejected from his own family. It kills me

              Comment

              • Ariana
                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                • Jun 2011
                • 8969

                Text from DCM this morning “I didn’t feed her breakfast, she slept in”

                Aaaand that is my problem because.....:confused:

                Comment

                • e.j.
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 3738

                  Originally posted by Ariana
                  Text from DCM this morning “I didn’t feed her breakfast, she slept in”

                  Aaaand that is my problem because.....:confused:

                  "No worries. Give her breakfast and I'll see you when you get here." Gotta love it.

                  Comment

                  • e.j.
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 3738

                    Originally posted by Leigh
                    There were times, though, a couple of years ago, when he would ask when his mom was coming to get him. I never knew what to say. We would go many days without even hearing from them.
                    And just when I thought it couldn't get any sadder... He's fortunate to have you in his life.

                    Comment

                    • CountryRoads
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Nov 2018
                      • 678

                      Was looking forward to a slower day on Monday.

                      Dcm (who rarely brings her kids when she's not working and has my most challenging dck) told me that she may bring them on Monday so she can get stuff done around the house.

                      I wonder how the rest of us manage to do anything with kids around? I also have 2 of my own, plus watch several others during the week and I'm able to get my stuff done

                      ETA: I'm not upset about it at all! I just always have to roll my eyes when I hear parents complain that they can't get anything done when they have their kids.

                      Comment

                      • Ariana
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Jun 2011
                        • 8969

                        Originally posted by e.j.
                        "No worries. Give her breakfast and I'll see you when you get here." Gotta love it.
                        She texted me after she left...like it was now my problem not my problem mom that you let your kid sleep in. Now you expect me to prepare breakfast for her when I have other kids to tend to with zero notice? Poor girl had to wait until snack at 9:30am

                        Comment

                        • e.j.
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 3738

                          Originally posted by Ariana
                          She texted me after she left...like it was now my problem not my problem mom that you let your kid sleep in. Now you expect me to prepare breakfast for her when I have other kids to tend to with zero notice? Poor girl had to wait until snack at 9:30am
                          I've had to speak with a few parents lately about the need to feed their kids before coming here. I don't serve breakfast and we don't have morning snack until 9:30 so kids who haven't eaten get hungry and cranky. It was especially problematic when I was with the food program because I was supposed to stick with my meal times. Now I can adjust times a bit easier but when the other kids have eaten and aren't hungry, early snack throws the others off because they don't eat as much and then are hungry before lunch time.

                          I always tell my family, I'd love to be able to require parents to work in my day care for 2 weeks every year (without me helping) so they can see how things feel from the other side. I know as a dc parent, I had no clue how some of the things I did (showing up even a little late for drop offs, picking my ds up during nap time for dr. appointments) impacted my dc provider.

                          Comment

                          • Ac114
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Feb 2018
                            • 573

                            Originally posted by Leigh
                            I didn't write that very clearly. This boy IS the "extra" child. The boy that stays with us is the boy that was only supposed to be with the family for a short time. The couple caring for him has 2 older bio children, and the younger one, especially, is extremely jealous of him, and whines that he is the reason she doesn't have more time with mom, more material goods, etc. She didn't care for giving up her spot at the baby of the family, and she is quite vocal about it. The mother in this family loves him. Her husband does, too, but he never wanted to add this boy to his family permanently. They never could afford him, and they get NO help from the state for him, as they were forced to take permanent guardianship and the CPS case was closed (CPS told them it was time for guardianship and basically told them they took permanent responsibility for him or he would go to a foster home). I can understand their position, but I certainly don't agree with it. He knows that we love him, though, and he has often said that this is his OTHER home, and tells me that he is one of my kids. My son (only child) is 6 months older than this boy, and tells people that this kid is his brother (not only are they different races, but they could not be more different in looks, personality, and pretty much everything else!). They do love each other, though.

                            Ahhh ok this makes sense but still very very sad. I couldn’t fathom ever doing that to any of my nieces or nephews, beck even if a daycare parent came to me and just said we are no longer able to care for this said child, will you take care of them, I would. It’s not the child’s fault and that’s so heartless to treat them that way. They are very lucky to have you and they will appreciate you and be very thankful for these times as they get older and understand more. Thank you for caring for him.

                            Comment

                            • Ms.Kay
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Dec 2018
                              • 104

                              2 kids .2.5 yrs here. Oldest didnt need pt or speech therapy anymore after 3mo of being here. The youngest last day was yesterday ....never even got a thank you.

                              Comment

                              • Ariana
                                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                                • Jun 2011
                                • 8969

                                Originally posted by e.j.
                                I've had to speak with a few parents lately about the need to feed their kids before coming here. I don't serve breakfast and we don't have morning snack until 9:30 so kids who haven't eaten get hungry and cranky. It was especially problematic when I was with the food program because I was supposed to stick with my meal times. Now I can adjust times a bit easier but when the other kids have eaten and aren't hungry, early snack throws the others off because they don't eat as much and then are hungry before lunch time.

                                I always tell my family, I'd love to be able to require parents to work in my day care for 2 weeks every year (without me helping) so they can see how things feel from the other side. I know as a dc parent, I had no clue how some of the things I did (showing up even a little late for drop offs, picking my ds up during nap time for dr. appointments) impacted my dc provider.
                                Exactly! I can accommodate with some notice, but telling me after kid gets here and giving me no time to prepare a breakfast before she arrives is not good.

                                Comment

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