Logged Out For Privacy, Will I Be In Trouble?

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  • laundrymom
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 4177

    #16
    First of all. Call the school. Ask them if they video taped it. Ask for the numbers of any other parents whose child had a solo, in this electronic media age SOMEONE taped it beg borrow or pay for that copy!!!

    Personally you followed the guidelines in your contract. It says if parents don't show up? Not I will try calling back up pickups and if they can't come I'll take child with me???

    Third tell your daughter that this or something like this will NEVER happen again.

    Hindsight says, you should have sat right there in your chair watched the performance and waved at your daughter:-). While telling mom you refuse to let your daughter down on such an important night because she chose to not pick up on time. That the moment she finished singing you would be right out or she could come directly to your row and you will send child down. That your late fees accrue until she has possession of her child. As outlined in your contract. In the same section that explains your policy on a parent refusing to arrive to pick up on time. That you signed at enrollment. Further more your contract is hereby terminated effective immediately, oh wait, she's singing, I'll call you in 3 minutes. And hang up. Silent your phone, and put it in your bag.

    After she sings, you go stand by a cop ( they are almost always somewhere nearby) and call mom back. Tell her where YOU ARE. and have her find you. She won't show her arse in front of the cop. If she does just say, she was a childcare parent who refused to pick up her child. We had to be here and she agreed in her contract on this procedure at enrollment. And let it toll off you like water on a duck. If she contacts you tell her, YOU abandoned your child at her daycare. Did you expect me to just wait around for you to decide to show up? I was nice and didn't call CPs for abandonment. I followed our contract even though I didn't know when you would return. Out of curtesy to you.

    Comment

    • nannyde
      All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
      • Mar 2010
      • 7320

      #17
      Originally posted by Unregistered
      ..I forgot to log back out..

      Yes I have permission to transport and the parent also signed the handbook stating that if I have to be some where and the parents are not on time to pick up, I will be taking the kids with me.

      I do have an obligation, just as my DCP do. I have an obligation to my family first no matter what. AND if a family is not respectful enough to follow my rules then they need to find another place to go.

      I did make a few mistakes here and I am learning my lesson. Like someone said I should have closed earlier, (I was trying to be nice and not put anyone out, so I stayed open as late as i could). If I would have allowed for more time then I would have had time to call the emergency contacts on their list, but I didn't.

      I bend over backwards for these families every day, even weekends, holidays and other special occasions and if they can't do 1 thing (so far this is the first time I had to close early this year) for me then I don't want people like that here...
      ALWAYS close way before you have to close. If you have a "time challenged" or "alpha... I'm the boss of you" or "I want my kid as little as possible" parent then you have to do AT LEAST two hours before you really need them to be there.
      http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

      Comment

      • mom2many
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jun 2011
        • 1278

        #18
        Originally posted by Unregistered
        ..I forgot to log back out..

        Yes I have permission to transport and the parent also signed the handbook stating that if I have to be some where and the parents are not on time to pick up, I will be taking the kids with me.

        I do have an obligation, just as my DCP do. I have an obligation to my family first no matter what. AND if a family is not respectful enough to follow my rules then they need to find another place to go.

        I did make a few mistakes here and I am learning my lesson. Like someone said I should have closed earlier, (I was trying to be nice and not put anyone out, so I stayed open as late as i could). If I would have allowed for more time then I would have had time to call the emergency contacts on their list, but I didn't.

        I bend over backwards for these families every day, even weekends, holidays and other special occasions and if they can't do 1 thing (so far this is the first time I had to close early this year) for me then I don't want people like that here...
        Sorry this happened to you. You did NOTHING wrong! I have been in this situation and was almost late to my son's high school graduation, because of an inconsiderate parent. I too learned from my incident and closed at noon when my next child graduated, instead of just an hour early!

        Licensing can't do anything if you transported the children in properly installed car seats and had a consent to transport them as well! Hopefully she will come to her senses and not make a call to them. She was indeed the one who messed up and should be apologizing for what she did....

        Comment

        • Meeko
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Mar 2011
          • 4349

          #19
          My eyes actually teared up reading your post as I was so angry and upset for you.. Missing things like that are gut wrenching to a mom.

          Chalk it up to experience and vow NEVER to put up with crap like that from a parent again.

          Don't worry about a thing. You acted according to your contract. If she signed it without reading it, then more fool her.

          She's ignorant and selfish and a b***h. Strong words...but I have been in your shoes and I know how it feels. How dare she have the audacity to try and turn it around onto you. I would terminate effective NOW. No notice.

          Comment

          • countrymom
            Daycare.com Member
            • Aug 2010
            • 4874

            #20
            Originally posted by Blackcat31
            I disagree that her obligation to her job supercedes her obligation as a parent. She was technically closed since family should have picked up already. Plus she said he policy handbook states that if you don't come on time, she will take her kids with her which is what she did. I see nothing wrong with how you handled things but I would be livid with that family. This mom has no right to be angry with you since this whole fiasco was caused by her actions or rather lack of actions by not being on time for pick up.

            ((((hugs)))) that you missed your daughter sing. I hope someone in the audience perhaps has the performance on video for you.
            I agree. This is the mothers fault. She had plenty of warning, she was told of the consequences and she chose not to follow the rules. What is she going to report, that she didn't pick her kids up on time and you had to take them to your appointment, boy I bet you licensing will be laughing at this one.

            Comment

            • melskids
              Daycare.com Member
              • Feb 2010
              • 1776

              #21
              Originally posted by nannyde
              ALWAYS close way before you have to close. If you have a "time challenged" or "alpha... I'm the boss of you" or "I want my kid as little as possible" parent then you have to do AT LEAST two hours before you really need them to be there.
              AGREE!

              I do the same thing.

              oh and also.....i would have accidentally shut my cell phone off during the performance. she wouldve been waiting out in the school parking lot until it was over...for her kid...and her term papers.

              i'm sorry you had to go through that. maybe another parent filmed it and you can get a copy? somebody ALWAYS has a camera!!

              Comment

              • Unregistered

                #22
                Just got off the phone

                So DCM calls me about twenty min. ago and asks if we could talk. She goes on to say how sorry she is and that when she got home she realized that she was the one in the wrong. She asked if she could drop off the kids and she would do anything she could to make it up to me and my daughter.... offered me and my daughter a full day of services at her salon/spa. DCM goes on and on about how bad she feels and I let her.

                So when she is done, I tell her that she was the last person that I expected for this to ever happen with. I told her how horrible I felt and that I cried most of the night last night. I then told her that based off of yesterdays issue, that I knew in my heart that I could never offer my services to her and her family ever again. I told her it felt like I was stabbed in the heart and that I would be silly to allow anyone to ever have the chance to do that to me again. She started to cry and I said, I know this is going to sound horrible, but now you know how I felt yesterday. I am really sorry, but I am going to have to let you guys go and it will have to be today. I am going to get the kids stuff ready to go and you can pick it up any time tomorrow. She tried so hard to change my mind and I just said Im sorry, I can't. I am very proud of myself right now, but still feeling like poo....

                thanks ladies for all of your help and support.... Having a contract and PHB has really paid off.

                Comment

                • MarinaVanessa
                  Family Childcare Home
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 7211

                  #23
                  Why not call licensing yourself and tell them your side of the story. Just call up and say that you had this issue with the DCP and that she threatened to report you and that you just want to make sure that if she does call that she doesn't make up any untruthful stories. Explain your policies about taking kids with you and let them know that you have a waiver to transport. Explain everything exactly as you did here and be CONFIDENT when you talk to them. If you are planning on terminating them I would notify them of this as well and let them know that they have goven you no notice of terminitation but that you will initiate the process and that since she has already threatened you once about reporting you that you want to make sure that they are aware in case there is any backlash towards you in retaliation.

                  Hugs to you. So sorry that you had to miss your DD's solo. It sounds like you did everything right and she is angry because she is self absorbed and fails to see thing from your perspective. If I were in your shoes, I'd be terminating and would make sure that I quote everything in there about how she failed to give notice. I would send a termination notice today. Require payment for the 2 week termiation period and quote your policies.

                  Like someone said, hindsight. I think I also wouldve sat in my seat at the concert until my DD was done or had DCM go to the school and go to my row. I also wouldve charged lat pick-up fees.

                  Comment

                  • wdmmom
                    Advanced Daycare.com
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 2713

                    #24
                    Yay! So proud to hear you stand your ground!

                    Comment

                    • morgan24
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Feb 2011
                      • 694

                      #25
                      Way to go!! I'm glad you didn't back down. She got exactly what she deserved.

                      Comment

                      • Solandia
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Jul 2011
                        • 372

                        #26
                        I have done the same thing...I have taken a dck to parent teacher conferences, to track practice, to drop off my kids at an event or church, band concert....like 6-8 times over the course of 10years...so don't think I do this all the time. But I do NOT allow dc families scheduling issues to infringe on my kids being on time to their activities or family activities.

                        If the parent is late (and I am notified in advance/know they are on their way), they can pick up their child where ever I happen to be (plus give me the late fee). Or they can wait until our event is over, and I can drop them off at their house with a bigger late fee owed to me.

                        However, I wouldnt have left the concert, the parent would have to find ME.

                        If your case, though...you couldn't contact anyone, including emergency contacts. Completely innappropriate..they are very lucky you didn't call Child Services,vas that is part of our required notification system in the contract that the parents sign...that after a certain time frame(of my choosing) of no contact whatsoever, we are to notify the local authorities or child services.

                        Comment

                        • laundrymom
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 4177

                          #27
                          Im crying for you sweets. Sending you love.

                          Comment

                          • mom2many
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Jun 2011
                            • 1278

                            #28
                            Glad to hear she called and realized how wrong she was! YAY to you for standing your ground and terming her.

                            Unfortunately these type will not change and when I have given them a second chance, they prove to be repeat offenders.

                            Comment

                            • MamaBear
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 665

                              #29
                              WOOHOOOO! Awesome! I know you feel like "poo" right now, but how awesome that you stood your ground and was strong. Good for you!!!!! Your an inspiration to me today You will be so happy later that you did that and that you didn't fold and let her talk you into staying. She would just be a jerk again later & you would kick yourself for taking her back. Good job!!!

                              Comment

                              • Meeko
                                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                                • Mar 2011
                                • 4349

                                #30
                                Yeah!!!! Atta girl!!!::

                                In the meantime......be prepared for another about face from this woman.

                                I can't help but feel her "apology" was because she realized she crossed a line and she may be out of child care...which would inconvenience HER. I personally don't believe that she had an complete change of heart on the way home. I think her apology is self serving. She is thinking about having to find other care, take time off work to do so etc etc. Sad as it is...I don't think she is that concerned about you or your daughter. If she was...she wouldn't have done what she did in the first place. She apologized to make life easier for HER.

                                She sounds like the kind of person who doesn't take "NO" very well. So still call licensing and let them know what happened. Just to be on top of things in case she decides to be vindictive because you have put her in the situation of having to find alternate care quickly.

                                Comment

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