Step Parenting

[sharlan]

I am a step parent. I know there are some really great parents who love step-kids like their own, I can not. It's just the truth. I consider us more like friends as she's reaching teen years, but parental love just isn't there. I just don't think we are meant to raise our spouses ex's kids.

This may be honest, but it's sad, IMHO. I hope this child does not live with you full time.

[laundrymom]

14 years ago my husband joined our family. And we are a parenting team. Not mine and his, but ours. And I would marry him again and go through our craziness in half a heartbeat. We are a team and I think that is the key.

[Unregistered]

This may be honest, but it's sad, IMHO. I hope this child does not live with you full time.

I don't think its sad, its reality. You're going to love your own kids above anyone elses, its human nature.

Mostly I see the kids suffer because the bio's are fighting back and fourth, and right now I have a mother that quite frequently says stuff about the dad in front of the child. I try to nip it right away and do the pick up asap. So very much the norm, or I've seen a pattern of men leaving the wife and kids for the new flavor, and worst yet having more children wondering why the first family wants nothing to do with him.

In most cases the steps are the ones that get stuck, and of course they chose that. In very RARE cases all adults involved make a effort which is wonderful; but few and far between.

[jen]

I just gotta say...my hubby is the step parent to my boys and although there are some additional challenges to step parenting, it has been great for all of us. My hubby is has coached baseball and football, attends every one of their other events, and if you has him how many children he has he says THREE. He does homework and cleans up puke! He gave our oldest his car and my husband is on a fantasy football league with my son and his friends.

He doesn't try to take the place of the boys father, he is a really positive role model in their life and he loves them like his own, without infringing on the relationship that the boys have with their Dad.

I feel sorry for the kids whose step-parents don't seem to want or like them very much. What a crappy situation for the kids.

[sharlan]

I just gotta say...my hubby is the step parent to my boys and although there are some additional challenges to step parenting, it has been great for all of us. My hubby is has coached baseball and football, attends every one of their other events, and if you has him how many children he has he says THREE. He does homework and cleans up puke! He gave our oldest his car and my husband is on a fantasy football league with my son and his friends.

He doesn't try to take the place of the boys father, he is a really positive role model in their life and he loves them like his own, without infringing on the relationship that the boys have with their Dad.

I feel sorry for the kids whose step-parents don't seem to want or like them very much. What a crappy situation for the kids.

That was my point. The kids don't ask for the parents' marriage to fall apart, they don't ask for the parents to become involved with and marry someone else. They sure don't ask for a stepparent who has no desire to love them and be a positive part of their lives.

[safechner]

I don't have any step children and I never will. My mom and dad broke up when she was pregnant with me on and off. My dad don't want to do anything with me which is fine. My mother got married to my step father when I was two years old. He raised me fine until I was around 12 or 13 years old. My parents have two children together and I am a step daughter to my dad. I found out he is not my bio father when I was 10 years old but I was fine with that. However, my step father just started treat me different than my sister and brother.

My step father started abuse me from 12 or 13 years old until 16 or 17 years old for no reason. I do remember he hits my stomach very hard once when I was 9 years old that I was playing with my dad when he hold my brother (he was a year old at that time). I was shocked and cried at the same time and he thinks it is nothing. I didn't tell anything to my mom about that. My mom didn't know anything going on until I was 13 years old. My step dad was angry at me when I was smart mouthed at him and he took a gun out to try kill me and I ran to my room and locked with my finger to hold the lock knob as long as I can then I called the police to give her my address (it was hard for me to speak the correct address). The police arrived at my house and my dad pretended it is nothing happens and I didn't say anything to the police but I should have. Yes, I had suffer for a long time and I always got in trouble in school everyday until I was 16 or 17 years old. I decided to stand up by my step dad but lucky I am very taller and stronger than him. He was pissed off and tried to hit me with arrow and I was blowing out and I finally got into fight with him. He was shocked and I gave him a d**n good black eye that he deserved it! That is sad my mother didn't stop because she was scared or don't know what to do. He stopped hurt me for a long time.

Now my parents have three grandkids and one on the way (my sister in law is pregnant). My step dad loves my nephew very much more than my kids due to not his real grandkids. I don't care about that. I once told my step dad, "If you hurt my kids for any reasons, you know what I am going to do with you." He knows I mean it that is why he hasn't hurt my kids at all. I don't get in touch or talk with my parents very much since they are 750 miles away from here. We only visit them once or twice a year. Honest, I seriously don't care about my parents. I know it sounds mean but that is who I am now.. My husband knows about that.

I know it is sad but it is not easy to raise step children because there are so many step parents feel that the step children are not his/her real parents.

My husband and I agreed that we won't remarried to have step children for any reasons so that our children won't be suffer if that happens to us like divorce or whatever..

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I am a step mother to a now 14yr old boy. He was 3 when his mom dropped him off on our doorstep and said to my hubby, you deal with him cause I cant.

In all honesty, because his bio mom IMHO is a lunatic and abusive, ruined his first 3 years of life, my stepson in the most ill behaved, abusive child, that my husband and I have ever raised.

My hubby tried for years to get full custody of him, but the judge granted joint custody.
She rarely had him and when she did he was messed up when he came home.
It was awfull.
We did councelling, you name it, we did it. For him and our family and he fully regected every attempt to get him help.

When i was pregnant with my daughter, he kicked me in the stomach. We didnt know at the time that I was pregnant with twins, I was 6 weeks along. I almost lost both of them, but I lost 1 baby.

He again did the same when I was pregnant with my son.
Everyday I endured his physical and verbal abuse while his dad was at work.

He called CPS on us 7 times, beat up kids in the nieghbourhood,ect.
He was a living nightmare.

The last straw was when he molested his own sister.
We put him in councelling to no avail, he blamed it on her. A 3 yr old at the time.

We were done.
He has been at this mom's house for 4 yrs now, and he still does the same crap.
Been arrested more times than I can count, He has gotten to the point that my hubby wants nothing to do with him.

There has been so much crap done to our family, I am very surprised that after 12 years we are still together.

And after all this my stepson blames all of his garbadge on me.
I am the reason he is like this, I ruined his life, blah blah blah.

So in my opinion I will never, ever,ever, do this ever again. If I could have seen my future I probably would have turned around and ran.

I love my hubby and my 2 kids dearly, but my daughter now has to grow up with the horrible memories, thank god my son was just a baby, he has no idea what happened, but doesnt understand why his brother cant live with us.

I know not all step children are like this, but mine was and I know that I am not alone.