What Are The Signs Of An Infants Sexual Abuse?

[Michael]

Your story is seen, mama. This is a very active forum, just not a very active post. I'm so, so sorry for what you and your daughter have gone through, went through. It certainly sounds to me like something was going on, and you know in your heart that something was. Have you ever sought counseling for either yourself or your daughter, or both? Have you ever talked to your daughter? I recommend you do both--seek counseling, and talk to her.

The way your husband and family treated you was wrong, and I"m very, very sorry. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.

I second this ^

Have you spoken to your daughter about what happened to her? Maybe she feels something is wrong and is seeking to find out what it is.

[Unregistered]

Answer to Silver Sabre

Aaah, I was afraid no one would be here.

Yes, I went to good counseling off and on for years, got my husband to go a few times.....yet he denied, incapable of looking....he couldn't see anything about anything in fact. He had grown up with a terrible purple elephant in the living room which I saw clearer as the years dragged on. I stayed because I HAD to and am glad I did. I became a vicious woman....but it was necessary.

I never let the subject die. In 1999, they came to our home & I flipped out...I could not be the "identified patient" any longer. I told them to get out and never come back, yet did not address the abuse. It was volcanic, ugly, terrible, but it had to be done. Our priest agreed later it had to be done, yet it had been my husband's job. I've never seen them again nor been in their presence. My husband stood with me yet still wouldn't accept reality. He has seen them maybe 5 times since. Finally, when they were out of our space and our children left the nest, my husband saw the elephant and it was hard. He went to counseling on his own. He admitted & realized the elephant was sex/incest/pretty facade in his family. He has never confronted them & the counselor said that's ok. We live states-away from all his relatives. What's sad is these are successful people! I talked with our daughter several times, even interrogated her as a pre-schooler....she could only say at age 22 that she had a creepy, "run!" feeling in Grandpa's presence & couldn't explain why. After my husband's epiphany, he went to her, talked & apologized. She cannot handle it. She called me a couple of years ago (drunk) and yelled at me to never ever bring it up again, that it is the past and does not affect her anymore. So, now we sit and watch her act out, unable to see...refusing to look. Her home is decorated circa 1980, even containing items from their home. Psychologically stuck. She even got her degree in psychology in what I believe was subconscious effort to deal with it.

Daycare providers, teachers, neighbors, alert family members & even Wal-Mart shoppers: "stop, look and listen." It's everywhere. TV has "legalized" sexualization of our kids, let alone the asleep adults. Thank you for letting me tell a bit of my story. Love your children, never let them out of your "sight".....gnaw on a fencepost for food if you have to to keep them safe.

Thank you.

[Michael]

Aaah, I was afraid no one would be here.

Yes, I went to good counseling off and on for years, got my husband to go a few times.....yet he denied, incapable of looking....he couldn't see anything about anything in fact. He had grown up with a terrible purple elephant in the living room which I saw clearer as the years dragged on. I stayed because I HAD to and am glad I did. I became a vicious woman....but it was necessary.

I never let the subject die. In 1999, they came to our home & I flipped out...I could not be the "identified patient" any longer. I told them to get out and never come back, yet did not address the abuse. It was volcanic, ugly, terrible, but it had to be done. Our priest agreed later it had to be done, yet it had been my husband's job. I've never seen them again nor been in their presence. My husband stood with me yet still wouldn't accept reality. He has seen them maybe 5 times since. Finally, when they were out of our space and our children left the nest, my husband saw the elephant and it was hard. He went to counseling on his own. He admitted & realized the elephant was sex/incest/pretty facade in his family. He has never confronted them & the counselor said that's ok. We live states-away from all his relatives. What's sad is these are successful people! I talked with our daughter several times, even interrogated her as a pre-schooler....she could only say at age 22 that she had a creepy, "run!" feeling in Grandpa's presence & couldn't explain why. After my husband's epiphany, he went to her, talked & apologized. She cannot handle it. She called me a couple of years ago (drunk) and yelled at me to never ever bring it up again, that it is the past and does not affect her anymore. So, now we sit and watch her act out, unable to see...refusing to look. Her home is decorated circa 1980, even containing items from their home. Psychologically stuck. She even got her degree in psychology in what I believe was subconscious effort to deal with it.

Daycare providers, teachers, neighbors, alert family members & even Wal-Mart shoppers: "stop, look and listen." It's everywhere. TV has "legalized" sexualization of our kids, let alone the asleep adults. Thank you for letting me tell a bit of my story. Love your children, never let them out of your "sight".....gnaw on a fencepost for food if you have to to keep them safe.

Thank you.

Thanks for sharing.

[solarismoon]

Be Paranoid!

Take your child to his doctor IMMEDIATELY. tell them what you suspect and ask for a thorough exam.

If you do not trust your provider, then do not take your child back. Take a leave of absence from work or bring in a trusted family member or friend who can provide care in your home until this is resolved.

With that said, constipation, a change in diet, developmental changes and other factors could all be responsible for your son's new aversion to diapering. Constipation could cause rectal or anal bleeding and tearing, and only a medical professional can help determine if that is the cause or if there is reason for suspicion.

At the heart of it though, you must protect your child no matter what. If I ever even suspected my child was being hurt at a daycare, I would remove him first and ask questions later. Never take your child somewhere you are not comfortable with! There may be nothing bad happening to your son, and I dearly hope that is the case, but your fear and suspicion should not be dismissed.

If your child's doctor feels there is cause for concern, immediately report it to the police and licensing agency and let them do their job. Take pictures if necessary of your child's bottom and document everything you can remember.

If, however, you discover there has been no foul play, consider finding a trusted person you have known a long time to care for your child going forward, which may help ease your fears. Also consider seeing a professional to see if there is a healthy way for you to deal with your anxiety so you don't feel consumed or ruled by it. That is of course if it turns out nothing is amiss.

But please never hesitate or dismiss your instincts as a mom! Always have your child checked at his pediatrician ANY time you are unsure.

[Starburst]

My 2 year old toddler said to me last week "don't hurt my pee pee" I was shocked and could not believe that she said this. Also in the past few weeks she has been complaining that her pee pee hurts. Tonight after my boy friend left she said that Aaaaa bites her pull up and when I asked her if he ever put his hand down her pullup she showed me by putting her hand down there. Earlier tonight when he was here I was sitting in the chair and he and her were on the couch - wrestling as he always does with her. I have been feeling increasingly uncomfortable with their wrestling/play. At one point tonight she was under a blanket and his hands were under the blanket but I could not confirm that he was trying to touch her. Something is wrong and I am just not sure what is going on. Perhaps it's nothing but my gut is uncomfortable with him and would like some advice. Other things I have noticed include he is always saying to her...you can't do it...you're not doing it right...I stopped him from saying to her...you can't listen. He also is insisting that I discipline her by saying things like she should not be telling me no or aren't you going to do something she she refuses to eat her food and talks back when she does not get her way. I feel me punishing her is forming an alliance between him and her and I won't be encouraging it. Any advice?

All you have to do is ask yourself who do you love more you daughter or your bf? Personally if I had any small suspicion that he was doing that I would dump him. I would also remind him that she is YOUR daughter (I am assuming he is not her bio father) and YOU will be the one in charge of her discipline and if he doesn't like it he can take a hike! My cousin tells all her bfs straight up from the beginning that her son has a dad and that even if things did get serious between them that they are not responsible for punishing her son (other then minor guidance when it comes to safety).

[theconcerned]

My son's behavior has changed drastically!

I recently put my son in a daycare center. Its a center for 16 month olds up to kindnergaten. The center staff are working with potty training the childen. Well my 2 year old doesn't want me to change his poopy pullups, he doesn't want me to wash him up. He complains when I try to change him,telling me no and stop. He fights when I try to change his clothes. I talked to the childcare centers staff that care for him but they said they haven't noticed any difference, he's fine with them changeing him. ( but I mean really they could just be wolves in sheeps clothing)I took him to his pediatrician yestersay and she told me to take him out of there. She did a check up but she said that there wouldn't really be anything that they would find if he was being abused. But she told me to tqake him out of there. She also said I could take him to childrens hospital; they would take photo's do an examination, and send child protection services and the police to the childcare center. They would then conduct a lengthy investigation that may not lead to anything because the toddlers in the room do not talk well enough to explain what go's on there. I feel bad because my child got to know the other children there and I liked the facility, but I couldn't overlook the change in my sons behavior.

[craftymissbeth]

I recently put my son in a daycare center. Its a center for 16 month olds up to kindnergaten. The center staff are working with potty training the childen. Well my 2 year old doesn't want me to change his poopy pullups, he doesn't want me to wash him up. He complains when I try to change him,telling me no and stop. He fights when I try to change his clothes. I talked to the childcare centers staff that care for him but they said they haven't noticed any difference, he's fine with them changeing him. ( but I mean really they could just be wolves in sheeps clothing)I took him to his pediatrician yestersay and she told me to take him out of there. She did a check up but she said that there wouldn't really be anything that they would find if he was being abused. But she told me to tqake him out of there. She also said I could take him to childrens hospital; they would take photo's do an examination, and send child protection services and the police to the childcare center. They would then conduct a lengthy investigation that may not lead to anything because the toddlers in the room do not talk well enough to explain what go's on there. I feel bad because my child got to know the other children there and I liked the facility, but I couldn't overlook the change in my sons behavior.

If your child's doctor suspects abuse from the provider then your doctor is the one who needs to report it. Doctors are mandated reporters which means they are obligated by law to report suspected child abuse and neglect (physical, sexual, emotional, medical, etc.). It's not right for them to put it off and place the responsibility on the childrens hospital.

With that said, you have to do what you feel is right. If your intuition is telling you that your child is being abused, then you should go with that. It doesn't matter if it's happening or not, IMHO.

I don't know if your child is being abused by the childcare provider, but keeping your child there until you're for sure doesn't seem like the right answer. KWIM?

[Unregistered]

I don't know

Well I don't know what to do. My son is 3 months old almost 4 months old. His father has a past of sexually abusing children about 4 years ago. He was a daycare worker at his church and abused three children a 4 year old girl, a 7 year old girl, and an 18 month old baby boy. He says that he has changed his ways and his record was expunged. he claims that since he got saved he won't ever do that again but recently my son absolutely hates him. My son loves everyone, he is usually the happiest baby in the world and now almost 4 months old I have never heard him really scream until recently. It is only with his father. His father has visits twice a week and they are in our home, and loosely supervised because we didn't think that he would dare do anything in our home. But the last 3 visits my son screams his head off as soon as he sees his father. There seems to be no physical signs but it doesn't make sense I have never seen my son act like this. as soon as he is in my arms he instantly stops crying and starts this talk as if he is trying to tell me something, but the instant I hand him back to his father he is livid, and its been consistent every visit as off a couple weeks ago. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to find out if anything is going on. I don't think there is any physical signs that I can see, and I don't even know how he would do anything in our home. I don't know what to do, or if there is any way I could expose him if he were doing something, I don't want this to keep on going on and I want to stop this as soon as possible. any ideas please?

[Unregistered]

https://www.acep.org/Clinical---Practice-Management/Tips-for-Conducting-a-Child-Sexual-Abuse-Exam/

[Silly Songs]

Parents, moms, please. If you are having anyone in your life who has been accused of abuse, or has admitted abusing a child, get away. Do not believe them that they have changed. Most sexual abusers do not stop !! Ask someone you trust to let you stay on the couch or something until you can find shelter for your child and yourself ! Report any suspicions to someone and keep your child safe !! Your child/ children should be your FIRST responsibility ! If someone strikes you or your child, get them out of your home/ get out of their home immediately ! You need to keep your children safe!!

[Mike]

Parents, moms, please. If you are having anyone in your life who has been accused of abuse, or has admitted abusing a child, get away. Do not believe them that they have changed. Most sexual abusers do not stop !! Ask someone you trust to let you stay on the couch or something until you can find shelter for your child and yourself ! Report any suspicions to someone and keep your child safe !! Your child/ children should be your FIRST responsibility ! If someone strikes you or your child, get them out of your home/ get out of their home immediately ! You need to keep your children safe!!

This is an old thread, but that can't be said often enough, especially the bolded part. In the majority of cases, it's who they are.

[Unregistered]

Have a bad gut feeling

My newborn son was taking away from me he is a month old. He currently in a foster home, I have no idea how many kids are in the home what the age range is, or if there is a foster father. I have yet to meet the foster mother, I will be meeting her Monday at the doctors. My biggest fear is that he will get sexually abused, him not being able to talk will make him easy target. The last 2 times I have seen him/ changed him his button has been red looks like diaper rash. I just have this God awful feeling, last Saturday he went to hospital due to diarrhea. I don't know what to do. When I go to doctors Monday I will make damn sure I ask, but am scared doctor won't be able to tell just by looking good like so many other cases physicians are unable to tell. I don't know what to I'm freaking out! I feel so helpless, I don't know what I would do if I found out....help me please. I don't know who to turn to or what to do.

[daycarediva]

Why was he removed from your care? Why the concern so specifically about sexual abuse?

Parents are more likely to abuse a child than a caregiver. I was a foster parent for years, and there are background checks and invasive home visits.

[brandylee]

Daughter trigger all red flags of abuse

She is autistic high functioning she has regressed to how she was when she was around 2 certain ppl . From birth to age 7 (she hasnt seen these ppl for 4 yrs until recently) ex bed wetting the cartoons she watched back then etc She acts like shes 4 and has numorous aggressive outbursts attacks me obsesive laughing for no reason. The list goes on and on. i filed a report with cys 3 weeks ago and her Tss filed 2 weeks ago and havent heard anything. Have app with victim services thiursday. Ok two questions would they be able to tell phsyically if she was abused and should i take her to our pcp or a gyno? thank you for any advice

[Rebecca]

I think my boyfriend is molesting our 3yr old son but I haven't caught him in the act

My boyfriend (I'll call him Bob) and I have been together for five years and I love him deeply but I'm thinking about leaving him for the safety of our son. I personally think my boyfriend (Bob) was molested as a child but he totally denies it every time I bring it up. I even asked his mom and she denied it too. His father past away when my bf was 14. Bob is very quiet and shy. I'm the opposite, bubbly and outgoing. We make the perfect couple but I feel like I'm living a lie because I'm no longer happy and attracted to him. I think my boyfriend is molesting our 3yr son(I'll call my son Henry). I started to noticed Bob's strange behaviors when our son Henry was 8months. Bob constantly wanted to sit Henry on his lap. He places Henry directly on top of both thighs. I would understand if it was one. He wouldn't do anything strange when Henry is sitting on him but I just get bad vibes from it. I only started to notice when he would get hard after our son would get off of him. Till this very moment it's still happening and his explanation is he can't control it and does not know why it happens. I have never ever seen any physical signs of abuse but in my heart and gut I know something is going on. This feeling has never gone away since 2.5 yr ago. Henry would act very weird when I would return to the room after him and our son Henry was left alone. He acts uncomfortable and strange but tries to play it off. Whenever they are left alone I just get a weird and unease vibe. I want to leave him but I have been trying to look for proof and it's 2017 still no proof. Well tonight might be my proof and I've decided to leave him. So I got home unexpectedly around 10pm and Bob was sitting with our son in the couch, with a shirt and just boxers. He was hard onces again(when Bob is hard, he lifts his penis upward so it's not noticeable but I know the trick and noticed it). I was heated and did not speak to him for the entire night. I just grabbed our son and we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around 2am to find Henry butt naked (no bottom on just his shirt) on the floor and Bob with no shirt just his boxers. He was covered with a blanket and our son was not. I have been asking God for proof or to catch him for years and nothing but I felt like tonight was enough proof. I can't do this anymore because I can not trust to leave Henry alone with his own father Bob. I stopped him from bathing his son,(by just always doing it and voiding him to do it), I don't feel comfortable when they are left alone, and I feel like I have to sleep with my son under my arms because I'm afraid he would go in his room to touch him. I'm not sure what type of molestation he's doing but there's no physical signs but my gut is telling me something is going on. I did addressed Bob tonight and he denied it of course. I have confronted him several times with my suspicions and he denies and dismissed them like I'm just going crazy and it's all in my head. I know something happened but didn't see it. I have also asked and talked to my son "if daddy ever touched you there" and he says no but he's young so he doesn't know. It really break my heart to end this but I can not continue to live in fear. My son safety comes first and can't continue to sit and wait for proof. I don't want to be 60yr and live with this regret. I'm scared no one will believe me. We are high school sweet heart and I love him. He's such a great guy(loving, sweet, helpful, great father, caring and etc). He's basically everything someone would want in a guy but he does have his flaws. One thing I can not accept is this suspicious or gut feeling I have about Bob. I can not wait any longer before our child become scare for life. It breaks my heart because I really wanted us to stay together since I didn't grow up in a two parents household. As for my bf he was raised in a traditional household with two parents and siblings. Everyone is rooting for our relationship and want us to stay together forever but no one know what's going on bc I'm too afraid and ashamed to explain to anyone. My mom is my best friend and I want to tell her but she will probably call the cops. I sort of feel trapped with Bob bc we have build so much together (car, house, family, accounts and etc). Not sure how everything will unfold but I'm willing to take a leap of faith and leave him. My fear is for Bob to continue this nasty behavior into our son adulthood and scare him for life. I know I'm not crazy but something is going on but can't proof it. I just need some advice and input on this. Please help!!!! I have been trying to escape for years but don't know how without making everything public bc I do not want that. We both have great paying jobs, great position in the community and our church; don't want our lives to be expose like that. I was thinking to just have him to leave and go back to his moms house and say we grew apart and our relationship is not working. Ugh I don't know what to do or think, someone please help. I feel so alone, ashamed, confused, disrespected, used and misguided. We are both African and elders encourage us to stay together no matter what but this is America and I do not want to stand by that. I'm tired of lying to myself and pushing me gut feelings away.