What Are The Signs Of An Infants Sexual Abuse?

[Unregistered]

As a mom who's daughters WERE abused (by a family member), I can empathise with this mom's concern. I didn't know how to read the signs and the abuse of my girls went on for a long time. I don't think the first mommy is a troll, because of the way she asked her question - not sure about the second one (why is she still going to that daycare-she should move her child immediately!) Abuse is a subject that needs to be discussed. Not all who bring it up are "trolls". I appreciate these answers I think they are very helpful.
(I didn't sign in - not because Im a troll - im just in a hurry )

[Unregistered]

i have been going through the same thing. when i talk to family they say i'm over reacting and that there is nothing wrong with my son. but there has been times when his stool has been runny, and it smelled like sperm to me. he has anal fissures, but everyone says its from the acid in his stool.

my son is in a church based daycare, but i guess that doesn't mean much nowadays. all the employees act really strange like they are hiding something. and at one time i thought they weren't feeding him correctly.

i feel like there is nothing i can do because who's going to believe me. my own family tells me that i'm over reacting.

so you are not alone, i've been going crazy doing research on possible illnesses, taking him to the doctor, and trying not to punch out the workers at the daycare.

but, i don't know what to do. this daycare has been around for thirty years. look how long it took for people to catch those priests.

i felt alone until i read your post.

You need to take your child to the doctor, and take him out of that day care. I know some people act differently in uncharted territory, and you probably just want help and advice, but if it were me, and my family said i was over reacting, i'd take him to the doctor anyways. This isn't a funny subject, it happens alot, and is a serious problem. I think, for the sake of your child, you'd take him immediately. if there isnt anything wrong, and he just has a little hiccup of a health problem with his stool, then no one needs to know. but its better be make sure then be sorry.. and do you want them doing that to other kids?

Also, if they arent feeding your kid right, wouldnt you take him out of that daycare regardless? this just doesnt make sense to me.. /:
Call the doctor if you're real. if not, its very immature, upsetting, and disturbing you'd post something like this.

[Unregistered]

own concerns

I have a yr and a half yr old daughter her father was arrested for sexually molesting his cousin and had been having our daughter overnights. She never adjusted to him she will fight me changing her clothes and diaper she has an extreme attachment to me to where i cant leave her. She has night terrors and seems miserable all the time she can be happy playing then break down over nothing. Im afraid that maybe something has happened to her and would like to know what professionals or anyone thinks should be done

[Hunni Bee]

I have a yr and a half yr old daughter her father was arrested for sexually molesting his cousin and had been having our daughter overnights. She never adjusted to him she will fight me changing her clothes and diaper she has an extreme attachment to me to where i cant leave her she has night terrors and seems miserable all the time she can be happy playing then break down over nothing. Im afraid that maybe something has happened to her and would like to know what proffessionals or anyone thinks should be done

Do not allow your daughter to go anywhere with him. If he calls the police, so be it.

File a custody petition immediately, and tell them what you see. Keep a diary. If he has a record of molesting children (especially family members), no judge will agree to your daughter staying overnight with him.

Take her to the doctor. They can examine her to see if any evidence of her being molested is present.

Do these things now.

[Charlotte]

question I'm not sure about something

My 2 year old toddler said to me last week "don't hurt my pee pee" I was shocked and could not believe that she said this. Also in the past few weeks she has been complaining that her pee pee hurts. Tonight after my boy friend left she said that Aaaaa bites her pull up and when I asked her if he ever put his hand down her pullup she showed me by putting her hand down there. Earlier tonight when he was here I was sitting in the chair and he and her were on the couch - wrestling as he always does with her. I have been feeling increasingly uncomfortable with their wrestling/play. At one point tonight she was under a blanket and his hands were under the blanket but I could not confirm that he was trying to touch her. Something is wrong and I am just not sure what is going on. Perhaps it's nothing but my gut is uncomfortable with him and would like some advice. Other things I have noticed include he is always saying to her...you can't do it...you're not doing it right...I stopped him from saying to her...you can't listen. He also is insisting that I discipline her by saying things like she should not be telling me no or aren't you going to do something she she refuses to eat her food and talks back when she does not get her way. I feel me punishing her is forming an alliance between him and her and I won't be encouraging it. Any advice?

[Willow]

Charlotte - you are not qualified to determine whether your child has been molested or not. Asking her leading questions (such as asking her if he ever put his hand down her pull up) could just confuse her so please don't.

If you think your boyfriend is abusing her why do you allow him around her for another second??? Why haven't you had her in to see a doctor????

I have two kids, divorced their father and had to re-enter the dating scene for a time. I will NEVER understand the thought process some women have when they allow their children to be around a man that makes them uncomfortable, or who's actions with the children seem off.

You're her MOTHER. Tell the guy he's out and get her in to a hospital for a forensic evaluation TODAY.

It is YOUR JOB to PROTECT YOUR CHILD.

[itlw8]

Today you call your hotline and ask for advise. I would then call your dr and tell them and ask to be seen today If they can not get her in call and go into your health dept.

first step is to see it they see any signs. 2nd step is break off the relationship until it can be proven nothing has happened. Then in the future no man should be under the covers with your dd . no one should bite a childs pull up If he has not crossed the line he is showing all the signs of setting the stage.


Let me put it this way. If you let him be around your child and it is happening you can be charged also .You are suspicious so you could be suspected of knowing it was happening. They could take her away from you until it is proven you did not know anything.

[Cherylgirl]

Appreciate Advice

Thanks for the advice. I have scheduled a dr. appointment for her tomorrow and I have not seen him or will we be around him again until I am satisfied that nothing happened. In addition, if nothing has happened I still want to have a heart to heart with him to discuss my suspicions and concerns.

I really appreciate the advice and it did give me some courage to investigate this further.

Thanks Cherylgirl

[KeremBella]

I Don’t Know What to Do, React, Or Anything In This Matter

My problem has to do similarly with the previous posts, the night before yesterday i got home extremely tired I am a fulltime student and go to school from ten am to seven everyday and what worse that day I was up and about since about seven in the morning, I know that to many of you that might not be so hard but when I hardly get any sleep. Cut to the chase. Monday night I fell asleep and left my son with his father we've been together for two years marriage and five years together period. So he was taking care of him while I was asleep; to be honest I knocked out. The next day my son he is a year and four months, to be honest he woke up in a very I guess irritable mood he wouldn't really be himself he was just kind of there and well his dad changed his diaper and his little butthole was very irritated, we live in a very small trailer home its and rv and well I was in the room and he was changing him in the living room which is in plain view from the bedroom area, from ther I could see he was very irritated and I told my husband and he just kind of blew it off when he usually asks for the desitin creamm to put on him but he blew me off. So the day went on and well my son didn't really eat, he usually wants to eat everything he sees you eating but he didn't want to eat at all not even his bottle. I know that when he is in the middle of a growth sprout he usually won't eat but I don't know if I'm panicking or what but, im scared that all the factors put together point at something way worse. My mother took him to a lady that used to be a nurse and she said there may be signs of him being molested but my mom doesn't like my husband and I'm worried that she's making it up in a way, also my husband was in prison and now he is on probation and well I'm scared to take my son to the doctor and just get him in trouble for an overeaction to a diaper rash:/ I mean I love my son and I don't want anything to happen to him but what can I do? How am I supposed to react? Please help me I don't know what I am supposed to do in a way I'm scared for my husband but mostly I'm worried about my sons wellbeing. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

[Michael]

My problem has to do similarly with the previous posts, the night before yesterday i got home extremely tired I am a fulltime student and go to school from ten am to seven everyday and what worse that day I was up and about since about seven in the morning, I know that to many of you that might not be so hard but when I hardly get any sleep.

Cut to the chase. Monday night I fell asleep and left my son with his father we've been together for two years marriage and five years together period. So he was taking care of him while I was asleep; to be honest I knocked out. The next day my son he is a year and four months, to be honest he woke up in a very I guess irritable mood he wouldn't really be himself he was just kind of there and well his dad changed his diaper and his little butthole was very irritated, we live in a very small trailer home its and rv and well I was in the room and he was changing him in the living room which is in plain view from the bedroom area, from ther I could see he was very irritated and I told my husband and he just kind of blew it off when he usually asks for the desitin creamm to put on him but he blew me off. So the day went on and well my son didn't really eat, he usually wants to eat everything he sees you eating but he didn't want to eat at all not even his bottle. I know that when he is in the middle of a growth sprout he usually won't eat but I don't know if I'm panicking or what but, im scared that all the factors put together point at something way worse. My mother took him to a lady that used to be a nurse and she said there may be signs of him being molested but my mom doesn't like my husband and I'm worried that she's making it up in a way, also my husband was in prison and now he is on probation and well I'm scared to take my son to the doctor and just get him in trouble for an overeaction to a diaper rash:/ I mean I love my son and I don't want anything to happen to him but what can I do? How am I supposed to react? Please help me I don't know what I am supposed to do in a way I'm scared for my husband but mostly I'm worried about my sons wellbeing. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

Stop making excuses for your husband and take your child to the doctor immediatly. A doctor is not going to get your husband in trouble for diaper rash. If abuse is going on, your doctor can examine and make that determination. Doing nothing is the worst thing to do. Do it NOW.

[Heidi]

You dont have to say "OH Doctor, I think my son is being molested by his father".

You say "My son has a rash and he is not acting like himself-not eating, etc. Please look him over".

There are lots of reasons for these symptoms. Unless you witnessed something or your husband's prison record has something to do with molesting children, I would not jump to conclusions, but I would take my child to the doctor.

[Unregistered]

If in doubt, get it checked out.

My son had yeast diaper rash as a baby and often had a irritated, red bottom that made him irritable, listless, and unwilling to eat. I can imagine the little guy was just miserable and unable to fully express himself. We took him to the doctor, got him some nice diaper cream and added Yo Baby to his diet. He was much better!

I am NOT dismissing your concerns and I encourage you to follow your heart; I just think, in this day in age, we allow our minds to go to very dark places because we hear sooo many horror stories. Yes, monsters DO exist but I think we are all entirely too quick to cry "abuse!" I'm a pediatric nurse, child care provider, and licensed therapeutic foster parent. I have seen some lives get really messed up over premature accusations.

Get little man checked out but please proceed with caution. Relationships can be ruined by innuendo and conjecture.

[Unregistered]

Confused

I have a 16mo old child. I often worry if they are being molested. A family member of mine sometimes watches my baby. This family member was molested as a child. They seem overly engaged in getting my child to stay with them. They have bought a ton of toys for them (as my child is the only) grandchild and often buy clothes and otherthings as well and go out of their was to pick my child up or keep them for extended periods of time. Two times after I went to pick her up the diaper area was red and the genitals were a little swollen. My child often has yeast rashes and it is not uncommon but a child that this family member previously watched was molested and is no longer allowed at their house. So, I took my child to the after hours pediatric clinic they looked everything over and sent us home. Happened when I picked my child up and there was just a spec of blood in the diaper. We went to a children's hospital ER and the looked over everything, had us talk to a social worker and sent us home. I've had the PCP look over everything as well and on all ends everything is "fine" but I just don't feel like it is. Two times in a row I have found a tiny spec of blood in the diaper. I feel like I'm crazy for suspecting this but I have had them checked out several times at 4 seperate health care facilities. This person would be devastated if I no longer allowed them to keep my child but I just have a hint of doubt still. What should I do? I am not a troll, I just prefer to remain anonymous.Also, my child seems to prefer one of these family members over their partner who is there when my child is as well on occasion.

[Unregistered]

I must say something:

There have been no postings here since January so I don't know if my writing here will be seen, however I'm going to write anyway, maybe just because I need to....for sanity purposes.

I have three children, ages 30, 31 & 35. I am still haunted by suspecting....still being horrified at the possibility my oldest daughter was molested by her grandfather and I DID NOTHING. Feel free to call me a "troll" here, but I am a 59 yr. old woman who is still doing research because of this!! I believe it's possible these "trolls" you suspect are terrified people, scared to come forward, needing to be heard, poor communication skills....yes, it could be a troll, but err on the "belief" side, knowing something is wrong with the "troll" & even he may need empathy.

Parents, I beg of you to act on your gut feelings, or you may be "me" someday, still worrying, watching the longterm symptoms that convince me I WAS correct. 35 years of self-torture for sitting back and doing nothing!! I have tears running down my face this moment because I was "hogtied" in a dysfunctional family. I would've been thrown out of the family & my child taken from me & destroyed back in 1979 for acting on this. I believed I had no choice. The story is too long, but parents, I beg of you to ACT. "City Moms" please watch just one N. Geo. film on the female animal's vicious protection of her offspring. Being paranoid is our JOB.

I could write about my story all day, but here are things I saw and did nothing about: total obsession with the baby/toddler, psychologically "blind" & non-believing spouse.....constant "checking" and changing of the diaper, constant touching and holding, putting hands under child's clothes in playfulness....constant seduction of child with cookies, goodies & toys so child would sit on their lap, follow them, "love" them the most....constant taking the child off somewhere to "show them something" or "play a game." Literal "playing house" with Grandpa! These people even kept a crib in their bedroom and insisted the baby slept there when we visited....AND I ALLOWED IT! Red vulva after being in their home too long which I blamed on sugar-overload, orgasmal masturbation as a toddler. Hyperactivity to the point of "crazed." She'd run from Grandpa crazily when she got old enough to know she could. She grew to be precocious with males at a very young age, found exposing herself to her siblings (siblings were not "special" to the grandparents) she was found under a bush on top of the neighbor boy, humping him. I had to supervise her like a hawk until college. I was seen as "the one with the problem."

They literally "bought" my child & owned my husbands mind....I would try to talk to my husband and I was fingered as a troublemaking "B." I am an educated woman! I went to counseling! I was raised in a good family with normal boundaries and could not articulate what I was seeing because I'd never seen it before!!!!! I insisted we became "religious" to guard the family! I was STUPID! It was 1979.....I still believed in the happy family, women kowtowing to their husbands, Betty Crocker. I could not "say out loud" what I was seeing....I did not know how. Now the girl is 35, not married, very immature, promiscuous since college, has an alcohol problem, had to have cervix surgery due to disease & informed she will most likely never hold a pregancy....this was soon followed by a miscarriage after having sex with a young man she'd met the very same day. She came running to mama & I still cry. She is educated & has a good job, owns her own home, yet today is "in love" with a 40-some man who lives with his parents and works for a city garbage service...he has teeth gone.

It breaks my heart. Mothers, wake up and act, or you will be 60 years old, still crying and reading daycare forums.......

[SilverSabre25]

There have been no postings here since January so I don't know if my writing here will be seen, however I'm going to write anyway, maybe just because I need to....for sanity purposes.

I have three children, ages 30, 31 & 35. I am still haunted by suspecting....still being horrified at the possibility my oldest daughter was molested by her grandfather and I DID NOTHING. Feel free to call me a "troll" here, but I am a 59 yr. old woman who is still doing research because of this!! I believe it's possible these "trolls" you suspect are terrified people, scared to come forward, needing to be heard, poor communication skills....yes, it could be a troll, but err on the "belief" side, knowing something is wrong with the "troll" & even he may need empathy.

Parents, I beg of you to act on your gut feelings, or you may be "me" someday, still worrying, watching the longterm symptoms that convince me I WAS correct. 35 years of self-torture for sitting back and doing nothing!! I have tears running down my face this moment because I was "hogtied" in a dysfunctional family. I would've been thrown out of the family & my child taken from me & destroyed back in 1979 for acting on this. I believed I had no choice. The story is too long, but parents, I beg of you to ACT. "City Moms" please watch just one N. Geo. film on the female animal's vicious protection of her offspring. Being paranoid is our JOB.

I could write about my story all day, but here are things I saw and did nothing about: total obsession with the baby/toddler, psychologically "blind" & non-believing spouse.....constant "checking" and changing of the diaper, constant touching and holding, putting hands under child's clothes in playfulness....constant seduction of child with cookies, goodies & toys so child would sit on their lap, follow them, "love" them the most....constant taking the child off somewhere to "show them something" or "play a game." Literal "playing house" with Grandpa! These people even kept a crib in their bedroom and insisted the baby slept there when we visited....AND I ALLOWED IT! Red vulva after being in their home too long which I blamed on sugar-overload, orgasmal masturbation as a toddler. Hyperactivity to the point of "crazed." She'd run from Grandpa crazily when she got old enough to know she could. She grew to be precocious with males at a very young age, found exposing herself to her siblings (siblings were not "special" to the grandparents) she was found under a bush on top of the neighbor boy, humping him. I had to supervise her like a hawk until college. I was seen as "the one with the problem."

They literally "bought" my child & owned my husbands mind....I would try to talk to my husband and I was fingered as a troublemaking "B." I am an educated woman! I went to counseling! I was raised in a good family with normal boundaries and could not articulate what I was seeing because I'd never seen it before!!!!! I insisted we became "religious" to guard the family! I was STUPID! It was 1979.....I still believed in the happy family, women kowtowing to their husbands, Betty Crocker. I could not "say out loud" what I was seeing....I did not know how. Now the girl is 35, not married, very immature, promiscuous since college, has an alcohol problem, had to have cervix surgery due to disease & informed she will most likely never hold a pregancy....this was soon followed by a miscarriage after having sex with a young man she'd met the very same day. She came running to mama & I still cry. She is educated & has a good job, owns her own home, yet today is "in love" with a 40-some man who lives with his parents and works for a city garbage service...he has teeth gone.

It breaks my heart. Mothers, wake up and act, or you will be 60 years old, still crying and reading daycare forums.......

Your story is seen, mama. This is a very active forum, just not a very active post. I'm so, so sorry for what you and your daughter have gone through, went through. It certainly sounds to me like something was going on, and you know in your heart that something was. Have you ever sought counseling for either yourself or your daughter, or both? Have you ever talked to your daughter? I recommend you do both--seek counseling, and talk to her.

The way your husband and family treated you was wrong, and I"m very, very sorry. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.