Provider's Spouse

[grandmom]

You could check your state regulations. My state is very clear - absolutely NO alcohol consumption on the property during business hours. That means not in the garage, or detached out-building, nowhere.

[Childminder]

The following is my opinion, what I believe, how I feel. Been watching children 4 decades now. I rarely drink alcoholic beverages - 4 times a year maybe?

I have an in home daycare and open non traditional hours. Sometimes parents come in and my husband is watching his television, having a drink in his living room, in his own home and it just happens to be a daycare. The children are oblivious as to what it is that he is drinking. Most parents are oblivious as to what it is he is drinking. He isn't caring for the children, I am. I'm not drinking alcohol but you can be sure that I have a glass of water or diet coke in my hand. Is anyone but me sure that I am not drinking alcohol?

I actually had a parent turn me in to licensing for this, well, actually it was for payment issues, she owed money and didn't want to pay me but she used the fact that my husband was drinking a beer at 9:30pm. Her 9mo was in bed sleeping and she told DHS that he was being exposed to hazardous materials.

DHS investigated and just told me to have my DH drink somewhere else!? NO! Was DHS encouraging his drinking and driving? Sounded like that to me. Hanging out in some bar? Not him.

This is his home. The child wasn't being harmed in any way by my husband drinking beer two rooms away from where this child was sleeping.

Does the OP drink? In her home? Does anybody drink around the kid? Ever? Is the child ever in a restaurant or someone elses house when alcohol is ever present? If the answer is no to all of the questions then she should tell the provider that the sight of the providers dh drinking upset her. Either the provider will be understanding and ask her husband to drink elsewhere or she'll tell the OP to not let the door hit her on the way out.

I have parents that come in and have a beer with my DH. I've had parents that sit down to eat dinner with us and have a glass of wine, or ****tail before dinner. I have parents bring a 6 pack of coolers on a summers evening and sit on the patio for a visit. IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH IT TALK TO THE PROVIDER! Or find other care. If not let it go.

[My Daycare]

I recall a provider from this forum getting a citation when her licensor dropped in for an unnanounced visit and the husband had left an UNOPENED beer outside, where children were not even playing at the time.

I'm pretty sure that licensing would have a HUGE fit if they arrived and actually found a spouse drinking in front of the children. He COULD and probably DID set it down, in which case (not likely of ocurse) a child COULD pick it up and sneak a drink.

I remember that and I think the citation was for having hazardous material present.

[dEHmom]

The following is my opinion, what I believe, how I feel. Been watching children 4 decades now. I rarely drink alcoholic beverages - 4 times a year maybe?

I have an in home daycare and open non traditional hours. Sometimes parents come in and my husband is watching his television, having a drink in his living room, in his own home and it just happens to be a daycare. The children are oblivious as to what it is that he is drinking. Most parents are oblivious as to what it is he is drinking. He isn't caring for the children, I am. I'm not drinking alcohol but you can be sure that I have a glass of water or diet coke in my hand. Is anyone but me sure that I am not drinking alcohol?

I actually had a parent turn me in to licensing for this, well, actually it was for payment issues, she owed money and didn't want to pay me but she used the fact that my husband was drinking a beer at 9:30pm. Her 9mo was in bed sleeping and she told DHS that he was being exposed to hazardous materials.

DHS investigated and just told me to have my DH drink somewhere else!? NO! Was DHS encouraging his drinking and driving? Sounded like that to me. Hanging out in some bar? Not him.

This is his home. The child wasn't being harmed in any way by my husband drinking beer two rooms away from where this child was sleeping.

Does the OP drink? In her home? Does anybody drink around the kid? Ever? Is the child ever in a restaurant or someone elses house when alcohol is ever present? If the answer is no to all of the questions then she should tell the provider that the sight of the providers dh drinking upset her. Either the provider will be understanding and ask her husband to drink elsewhere or she'll tell the OP to not let the door hit her on the way out.

I have parents that come in and have a beer with my DH. I've had parents that sit down to eat dinner with us and have a glass of wine, or ****tail before dinner. I have parents bring a 6 pack of coolers on a summers evening and sit on the patio for a visit. IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH IT TALK TO THE PROVIDER! Or find other care. If not let it go.

Well said!

I believe that if proper care is taken to ensure the children are not exposed to the alcohol, then discuss your concerns with the provider and then choose where you want to go.

But many of us choose to allow our dck's to stay later than our usual closing hours. And if dh wants to come home and have a beer he is more than entitled to do so. But I make dh go outside in his garage, or sit in the bedroom with door closed. I know my dcps would not care, but I choose to keep that away from kids. If dh wants to have a beer, put it in travel mug so it looks like coffee. And don't walk away from it where a kid can grab it.

As for licensing of course they have to cite you for it! it's alcohol, in reach of a minor. My dh used to leave empties (with the hp in the bottom) in the boxes at the back door. When my ds started crawling he was constantly sitting there playing with the bottles and trying to drink the stuff on the bottom. So bottles no longer go there. As long as they are handled RESPONSIBLY there shouldn't be an issue.

[LindaMJ]

Providers Spouse

That is totally inappropriate in my opinion. He should either wait til after hours or go into a separate room from the children. AND I drink beer myself and enjoy it. But I would never allow my spouse to do that when I am still conducting business. Seriously...

[Symphony]

This would be breaking regulations in my state. We can have alcohol in the house, but it must be inaccessible to children. Alcohol may not be used (cooking) or consumed during daycare hours by anyone.

[momatheart]

Drinking in front of the daycare kids while it's open for business is unprofessional, period. At no point should a daycare condone the use of alcohol, drugs or cigarettes regardless of whether it's in home or center. If he wants to have a beer in a rec room downstairs or in their bedroom where children aren't allowed, then I could see an exception. And actually, I wonder if it's against licensing regs? I can't imagine alcohol consumption by anyone on premises during operating hours is allowed due to safety of children.

good point. I agree.

[Meeko]

In home to me means just that. It is a family that is operating a daycare within their home. Unless the husband seemed intoxicated or was doing something inappropriate. Maybe other providers here will chime in on this. Is a provider's spouse not supposed to be in the daycare area having a cold one after work?

Also, mybe you can give us a better description of what bothered you visually

In my state, it is against licensing regulations for ANYONE to be drinking alcohol during day care hours. That goes for husbands, guests etc....not just the provider.

[Unregistered]

That is just wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.
In Michigan, That IS against licensing rules.
For those of you who see nothing wrong with it, you're in teh wrong business!

[Childminder]

That is just wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.
In Michigan, That IS against licensing rules.
For those of you who see nothing wrong with it, you're in teh wrong business!

I'm in MI and have found not one thing mentioned about alcohol in rules and regulations. Neither could licensing. Maybe you could clarify with the proper information?

[dEHmom]

Here is a perfect example of why this website is so great!

OP seeking help about alcohol being used in the home.

Responses say

It's Fine

Never should it happen



At first I was thinking it's not a big deal, as long as the children are not consuming it, or seeing it used irresponsibly, or if it is "hidden" from the children, provider using it of course is a nono, no adults behaving inappropriately, etc.

Then other members put in their 2 cents and state things like an unregistered user stated At no point should a daycare condone the use of alcohol, drugs or cigarettes . Now I am on the other side of opinions on this. Originally I thought about my situation and thought that my husband is entitled to a beer after work if he chose to (he never ever does) but it is his right. Especially on a friday night, and a daycare child is here late because mom is running late, or had a meeting, or whatever. Normally we have kids gone by 5pm, if it's 730 or 8pm on a friday night, why not let hubbs have a beer? But then I also see, that during business hours, this is a business, and there is no reason why he can't wait.

HOWEVER, if he wants to go outside (if we are inside) and work on the truck or something and have a beer, I will NEVER say anything to him. While I agree in the home, or general daycare area is an absolute no, if he wants to have a beer, I would allow him to go outside, go to his garage, or lock himself in the bedroom if its freezing out, to do so.

So I am on the fence still with this one.

This site is amazingly helpful and the debates empower us providers and allow us to better ourselves.

[morgan24]

I'm in MI and have found not one thing mentioned about alcohol in rules and regulations. Neither could licensing. Maybe you could clarify with the proper information?

I looked to and couldn't find anything about alcohol either. My personal thoughts are if my hubby wants a beer do it in the garage, not around the kids.
There is one provider in my area who's husband does this and it has affected her business. I have had people call me wanting to change because of that.

[TBird]

I'm sorry...I just think it's in poor taste. It is a daycare home but most families have TV's in their bedrooms, etc. so maybe it would have been in better taste for him to have "relaxed" in another room.

In consideration of the parents, I'm even careful how much time my own kids spend in the daycare area and I'm super careful about what they say/do around the daycare kids. I'm not judging....that's just how I am and how I would hope it would be if my kids were still in daycare.

[texascare]

It certainly would not look professional on her part! Would she (he) do it if the state were there? Probly not....

[Meeko]

You need to check your state regs. I imagine that it is illegal to have open containers around the children. Period. When the home is opened as a business it is expected to be treated as a (childcare) business. It is not a bar.

I would be livid!!!!!

It is illegal in my state. Check your state's regs. Even if it IS legal there...it's completely inappropriate to drink in front of the children.