Question for Parents

[mac60]

I have a 10 mo old, parents decided they wanted to take away all bottles at morning and afternoon nap, but baby would still get morning bottle at home before coming and bottle at night.

My question, why not let the provider give the child the 2 bottles at nap time instead of parents giving the two bottles at morning and night. Gees, any idea what we have to go thru/listen to, at nap time because you don't want your child to have a bottle during the day.

Just wondering what the train of thought is here. We have your child for both of their naps, we have your child for approx 9 to 10 hours of their day,and we have to listen to them scream themselves to sleep when a simple small bottle will console them and they will lie quietly and go to sleep.

Just wondering I guess, why it is ok for baby to have bottle at night time with parents, but not a nap time with provider. Just trying to understand.

[tymaboy]

Are you supposed to do this cold turkey? Most of my parents that I care for do not take the nap time bottle away until closer to 1 yr then we work on 1 nap at a time. It makes it much easier on everyone concerned.

[mac60]

Yes, I was supposed to do this cold turkey. All my dc kids pretty much take 2 naps until closer to age 2.

[kitkat]

Have you asked the parents why? If so, what did they say as to why they are dropping the 2 bottles?

DD is just shy of 10 months old. We dropped one bottle, but she still gets 3. We dropped a bottle simply because it was becoming a major struggle to get her to take it. Maybe there is an issue at home and baby is refusing the bottles. We never gave DD a bottle around naptime because we didn't want her to be dependent on that to fall asleep. Maybe the parents were feeling the baby was becoming too dependent on the bottle to fall asleep. Some kids use the nuk, some the bottle. Either way, it's a tough habit to break. Another thought could be that they are thinking they should start to wean from the bottle. If that's the case, they need to offer a cup. Is the baby still getting enough formula during the day?

If the baby is upset at nap because there's no bottle, maybe you can offer a sippy of water. Perhaps one with a soft spout would feel like a bottle and provide some comfort.

[mac60]

This is their 2nd child. They didn't want the first one to have a sippy, so I am assuming they won't want this one too either. Sometimes parents make requests that are not very compatible to a daycare setting...ie, no sippy cup, and we as providers have to do whatever we feel is best in our daycare. I have tried giving the baby a sippy with water and formula in it, and he just clung onto the cup, but didn't drink it. I will try something else tomorrow, as today after listening to him cry for over 1 hour and totally disrupting nap time, I finally gave in and gave him a small bottle, in which he laid down and went to sleep.

[Former Teacher]

The answer is simple.....

it's them, not you. They want to make it easier on themselves and put the pressure on you. They don't want to hear the crying, screaming etc. but it's ok for you to listen to that.

Funny how parents are like that. It's ok for the provider to deal with things but Heaven forbid the parents (not all but most!)! Take for example is potty training. I can't tell how many parents we had at the DC and we had to keep the child in underwear. Yet when the parents came to pick the child up, they would slap a pull up on "for just the ride home". That defeats the purpose. Another example was when parents went "cold turkey" on pacifiers. We never had them at the DC and yet parents would push one in right when they came because "I don't need that crying driving!"

Anyway back to the bottles. I do understand where you are coming from. Maybe they can pack an emergency bottle for you. Though in the beginning there might be alot of those!

[mac60]

As a provider, can you understand how I can say "I will just deal with it in my own way", as what you said about parents......they don't want to deal with things........is so very true.

I just don't understand, I put the baby to bed 2 times per day, the parents only once, why can't I have that darn bottle? and let the parents deal with it at night.

[Unregistered]

I would personally buy a bottle and feed the baby it a naptime and not tell the parents. It is unfair of the parents to expect you to be the one to break the bottle habit, and them not have to deal with it. They have one baby at home and they don't want to hear it cry, but you are supposed to disrupt the whole naptime with all the kids listening to this child cry? This is not good for you or the other children or this baby. Keep giving the bottle, sometimes parent Don't know best. As for the sippy cup? This is my home and my daycare, all the children under a certain age drink out of sippy cups, I don't have the time to be cleaning up spilled milk. This is my rule and if the parents don't like it, they can take their kids elsewhere. I also have a rule about not walking around with food, yet parents will bring their kids in, munching on crackers or poptarts when they arrive. I immediately take it away, and sit them at the table (in front of the parents...to make a point). If I let the kids eat and drink all over the house, it would be filthy.

[Unregistered]

unfortunately, parents really don't want to know how their kids days went, if it was bad. I would give the bottle, not tell the parents, put a smile on your face during pickup and tell the parents what a great day their child had. Parents really don't want to know if their kids cried all day, or took an hour of screaming to settle down for nap. Do what you need to to make the baby happy. And if that means giving a bottle to settle him down, then do it and don't feel guilty. You are making their child happy and content as opposed to cranky and miserable. If the parents think this is what is best, then they shouldn't be parents, or they should take away the bottles at home first. Besides, I can see giving the baby his bottle at bedtime, but why are they giving him one in the morning, as opposed to letting you give him one at namptime. It just doesn't make any sense.

[ConcernedMotherof2]

This post started out asking parents for input and wound up (once again) to be a bunch of daycare providers bashing parents. MAYBE the parents are selfish and expect the provider to essentially be the one to wean their child from the bottle. WHICH, YES, WOULD BE WRONG.

HOWEVER, has the provider asked the parents what the motivation for this is? I think that going against the parents' wishes without getting an explanation from them is wrong. Of course, some people have screwy ways of thinking, so it may be necessary for the provider to bend some of the parents' rules in order to maintain her own sanity. But IMO, it would be more useful to all parties involved for the provider to speak with the parents, hear their motivations and explain how difficult it is not only on the provider and the other children in care, but the child who is being weaned.

**Side note** it is difficult to come to this forum with questions. I thought this was supposed to be a forum for parents to ask/answer questions and gain insight on daycare situations. It seems more and more I am seeing providers bashing parents as a whole. We are not all bad. I am all for free expression of opinion... but isn't there a provider forum for such things? I could list at least ten providers I have had dealings with who have either put my children in danger or cheated me in some way, but that doesn't mean that every time I have a problem with a provider, I am going to jump to conclusions and think that all are the same as one. I realize that, as providers, you have to deal with a lot more parents than the average parent has to deal with providers and you have dealt with some pretty tough situations, but not all parents are bad, not all parents are out to make your lives more difficult and not all parents expect the moon and stars. Isn't part of running a successful business the art of tactful communication?

[Michael]

There are a lot of providers that have a lot on their minds in regards to childcare as a business and as parents/guardians. The Daycare.com Forum offers providers AND parents a place to network.

Daycare.com is geared toward both, but parents may have more options on the internet for their questions that may generalize around parenting. The forum is open and will move in the direction that its members choose. We spend a great deal of time clearing out the SPAM and advertisements that crowd out good conversation in other forums. Most of the posts and conversations on this forum are interesting and informative to say the least.

We appreciate your views as a parent and hope you and others make your opinions known here in our forum to help further conversations of interest within our childcare industry.

[Unregistered]

I would NOT give the baby the bottle, and then lie to the parents about it! The parents of a ten month old need to know how much he is eating/drinking throughout the day. Just tell them that you still need to give a bottle at nap time. How can we expect a good relationship with our parents if we're lying to them about the care we're giving their children!

[Chickenhauler]

I would NOT give the baby the bottle, and then lie to the parents about it! The parents of a ten month old need to know how much he is eating/drinking throughout the day. Just tell them that you still need to give a bottle at nap time. How can we expect a good relationship with our parents if we're lying to them about the care we're giving their children!

I agree with you to a degree, but keep in mind there are parents out there who won't do the difficult things required when raising a child, and will continually dump them on others or just ignore that things need to be addressed.

We see it all the time, kids being raised by TV, kids who are in their late teens who have never had the "birds and the bees" talk with mom or dad, parents who won't discipline their kid for fear of "the child won't be their friend anymore", etc etc.

But then again, I have a dismal view of society as a whole and where it's going.

[Unregistered]

If they want you to cut cold turkey, I would suggest that they do that over the weekend and if it goes well for them then you will try on monday, if it didn't go well for them then suggest 1 bottle at a time, not both naps.

[seashell]

If they want you to cut cold turkey, I would suggest that they do that over the weekend and if it goes well for them then you will try on monday, if it didn't go well for them then suggest 1 bottle at a time, not both naps.

I agree completely. If no bottle is important to mom and dad, it should be done cold turkey on the weekend. But as for just a bottle at night? If they are taking the bottle, I think it should be gone completely, at home and at school. Consistance between home and daycare is so important. If the baby is getting it at bedtime at home, she will also expect it when it's bed time at daycare. She's probably crying because she's confussed.

I would like to point out that as a provider, I do agree that parents are often treated harshly on this board. Comminication is so important, as is respecting each other. Talk, listen, learn and grow!