Concerned For 17 Month Olds Welfare

[Blackcat31]

Exactly.
My only fear is that should she do this and the father still has child, once he hears about it, is it going to create more problems for this little girl? i hope you can get this girl in your hands very soon, but you need to step up and act. I understand your fear, but if this father is more concerned about his drug money and such instead of taking care of his daughter, then I'm sure he won't mind if someone else is feeding/clothing/diapering her. More free time for him, and more money for him.

No, if you file an order for protection on granddaughters behalf and father has her physically, the police (with or without you after OFP filing) will remove child immediately so that should not be a deterrent......

[dEHmom]

No, if you file an order for protection on granddaughters behalf and father has her physically, the police (with or without you after OFP filing) will remove child immediately so that should not be a deterrent......

Phew, ok then forget what I wrote. I just get nervous, because I'm not sure how that plays out. Whether they have to have some sort of proof that physically this child is in danger. Or if they remove regardless.

[BelindaW]

I have everything CPS told me I need ready to go first thing in the morn (to file with the courts and CPS). Today is a state employee holiday so the courts are closed today. Our local sheriff dept is no help, they say he has a right to have her. I know my daughter has been scared he would try to take off with her to his moms, she lives in Canada. So not sure if he has threatened that, most likely. Also, I feel he doesn't really want this child, its just a means to get back at her mother. Proven by his other kids. Did same to their mothers til they stood up to him and fought back. But took CPS 3 yrs before they finally took his older daughter away from him.

Thank you very much for links to the papers. I have been searching court site all morn looking for them so I have them all filled out and ready to go.

[dEHmom]

I have everything CPS told me I need ready to go first thing in the morn (to file with the courts and CPS). Today is a state employee holiday so the courts are closed today. Our local sheriff dept is no help, they say he has a right to have her. I know my daughter has been scared he would try to take off with her to his moms, she lives in Canada. So not sure if he has threatened that, most likely. Also, I feel he doesn't really want this child, its just a means to get back at her mother. Proven by his other kids. Did same to their mothers til they stood up to him and fought back. But took CPS 3 yrs before they finally took his older daughter away from him.

Thank you very much for links to the papers. I have been searching court site all morn looking for them so I have them all filled out and ready to go.

Good to hear!
Please keep us posted. We are happy to offer any support we can to you, but first things first is get that ball rolling, so we all know that baby is safe.

[BelindaW]

Well I just got back from CPS. They have been given all the info etc. They are going to be talking to another party today that will confirm all the drug use, as an eye witness. And will be investigating all other accusations.
Was told by the dads neighbor that the dad cleaned the house up spotless yesterday. To make it look good in case was investigated.
They should be calling me back this afternoon.
Does anyone know, if an infant is in the other room from repeated marijuana smoking, will they test possitive on a drug test?

[dEHmom]

Sorry unfortunately I can't answer yes or no to that. I would assume that there may be traces in her system if she has been breathing in the 2nd hand smoke from it. But whether they can test for that, I don't know.
Who has the baby now?

[javamama]

Looks like you have received some great advice. Just remember, your GD can't stand up for herself so she needs your help. Do whatever it takes to get her away from that abuser. ((HUGS))

[marniewon]

Well I just got back from CPS. They have been given all the info etc. They are going to be talking to another party today that will confirm all the drug use, as an eye witness. And will be investigating all other accusations.
Was told by the dads neighbor that the dad cleaned the house up spotless yesterday. To make it look good in case was investigated.
They should be calling me back this afternoon.
Does anyone know, if an infant is in the other room from repeated marijuana smoking, will they test possitive on a drug test?

Does the baby have any hair? It should show positive on a hair strand test (which I think would be more reliable in this situation).

Prayers and hugs for you and your grandbaby! This is a tough situation, but don't give up, don't stop fighting for this baby - YOU are the only one who will! You have to be an advocate for this baby. Do whatever you have to do and do it as often as you have to do until that baby is away from that monster. Call, talk, whatever, daily if that's what it will take.

[BelindaW]

Well I just got a call from CPS and they wanted to know where the baby was now. I stated with her father. They asked if my daughter was still living with him and I said no, with us. She then asked for his address. I gave it to her. Then I told her they have a court date next month for placement. She stated my daughter better not give up on getting placement. So not sure if they are going to go take her from him or what. Hopefully.
Thank you for all the support. This means a great deal, having a place to talk, get info and just moral support.

[Blackcat31]

Well I just got a call from CPS and they wanted to know where the baby was now. I stated with her father. They asked if my daughter was still living with him and I said no, with us. She then asked for his address. I gave it to her. Then I told her they have a court date next month for placement. She stated my daughter better not give up on getting placement. So not sure if they are going to go take her from him or what. Hopefully.
Thank you for all the support. This means a great deal, having a place to talk, get info and just moral support.

Just keep making sure you stand up and be a voice for your granddaughter because she obviously needs you in her life since neither of her parents seem to be able to put her needs and safety above their own. Your daughter many not always agree with you or think you are doing the right thing but in the end the only person that matters is your granddaughter and she will thank you for being able to put her welfare above all else...regardless of anything else.. Good job advocating for her...just don't stop EVER!

[momatheart]

Waiting for an update on this situation.

Yes there is always great support and advice on this site!

[misol]

I am so disgusted when I hear stories of this. If I was ever in a situation where harm was "possibly" being inflicted to my child, it would be dealt with immediately. There would be no question about it. Personally I believe too much time has been wasted here, and this needs to happen NOW! It's bad enough she will grow up with this being part of her life, and it will scar her severely, ESPECIALLY if this continues. Right now she is an infant, and I'm not saying it is any better, but at least she is young enough, maybe she can live her life like it didn't happen. Please keep us updated on this post.

I agree that too much time has been wasted already. When you are not getting the results that you need, you have to take matters into your own hands. Do whatever it is that you need to do by any means necessary when it involves the health and safety of your children (or grandchildren in your case).

I had a situation last year in my childcare where the parent was a threat to the child's safety and the grand mother took the child, filed a temporary order for protection against the parent on the child's behalf for fear of harm that may have happened to the child had she not done so. The court granted the grandmother the temporary order for protection and the child remained with the grandparent until the situation could be investigated. The courts appointed a guardian ad litem for the child and it got the ball rolling as far as getting help for the child's living situation. Since you have some major issues with the care and treatment your granddaughter is receiving, filing an order for protection may be necessary. Since the child is a minor, you can (or your daughter) can do this ON BEHALF of the minor child. Once a guardian ad litem is assigned to the child they will act on the child's behalf. the guardian ad litem is there for the child ONLY and no one else so I would consider doing this if the facts you have listed are true and you are honestly concerned about her health andd safety. Good luck.

Not sure if this is available in your state but I would totally suggest that you do this if it is an option. Act NOW as time is of the essence for your precious grandaughter. Oh, and get this baby to a doctor! Even if you have to pay for the visit out of your own pocket, the baby should be checked by a doctor for signs of sexual abuse. This should be enough to have the baby removed from the home and placed in your care.

What also concerns me is that I am not convinced that your daughter wants to leave this man, which will make it very difficult for the baby to be removed from the home. You say that she is living with you now but how long has she been living with you? How long has she already been in this abusive relationship? Why was she upset with you when you alluded to the fact that the boyfriend may have been sexually abusing the daughter? How on earth did he find out that your daughter and the baby were at a battered women's shelter? My guess is that she called him and told him. If so, then she put her own life and the lives of others at risk.

I can tell that you are on board 100% but you have to make sure that your daughter is willing to do whatever it takes to get her daughter (and herself)out of this situation. Even if it means risking getting in trouble herself. For example, she may be unwilling to provide full disclosure because she herself may also be a marijuana smoker. If something like this is the case, then she has to be willing to risk exposing herself for the safety of her child. She has to take her child and RUN and be willing to risk getting arrested for parental kidnapping if the situation is as bad as you have described.

Battered women do not have the same thought process as women who are not battered so you might have to do the thinking for her. You have to also explore the possibility that your daughter could be telling you one thing (that she is ready and willing to leave him) but then telling the boyfriend something completely different when she is alone with him. Ask her the tough questions and make absolute certain that you and her are on the same page. This will greatly increase the chances that you will get the outcome that you are hoping for.

Best of luck to you and your family and keep us posted.

[Candyland]

please keep us posted, Belinda. This is a wonderful site with wonderful and helpful people.
I just saw your post and will keep your granddaughter and you in my prayers.
Hugs.

[BelindaW]

Well tomorrow we meet with the lawyer to get things going officially. She didn't tell him she was at a womens shelter, one of her so-called friends did. We have found out this person has been telling him every move she makes. Thankfully she is staying away from this person now. I have stressed to her she has to come clean on her "smoking" also but assuring them it's in the past.
She picked the baby up from him Wednesday night, filthy and sick. Even though she has been on an antibiotic for a week previous. While holding her getting ready to go out the door, he freaked and started screaming and terrified the baby. Found this out last night. Everything is being documented by the proper authorities. My daughter knows she has to get the restraining orders, but is terrified of doing it. Stating he is going to get so mad if she does. He has same orders on him now from a cpl other women.
Well, regardless of my daughters descisions on this, I am moving forward in obtaining custody of her. Thats why the meeting with the lawyer tomorrow. This past week I have been gathering all the info on him I can get to give her. Seems like CPS is going to do nothing to help get her out of there. Will keep everyone posted on what the lawyer says tomorrow.

[Blackcat31]

Good luck Belinda and stay strong because this will be a long road, but a well worth while one in regards to making sure your grand daughter receives the care and safety she needs. I completely understand your daughters fears in filing a restraing order and the resulting anger from the baby's father but nothing worthwhile comes without a price and her daughter needs her to stand up and do what is right. She needs to worry more about how her child will feel if she doesnt fight for her safety versus how angry her ex will feel when he gets an order for protection placed on. We all create our own circumstances and have to live with the results so in my opinion you are doing the right thing. The only thing I can add is no matter how frustrating it may become, please do not give up until you know your granddaughter is being cared for in the manner she deserves.