Kicked From Daycare

[Unregistered]

So my 18 m/o son has a bit of seperation anxiety and cries when i leavehim at his daycare provider, a mom who watches 2 of her own kids and a few others. She is licensed. I pay every monday for that weeks childcare.

That being said, he was there for 1.5 months and maybe only one day of the week shewatched him all day, every single other time she would call me and say he is screaming too much and he needs picked up. I payed hundreds of dollars just to constantly take time frm work and almost get fired for points.

This monday, i drp him off along with the check, and she calls 5 min later andsays i need to pick him up. Im furious. I pick him up and bring him to his gmas to watch him for the rest of the week. Later that day she says he cant come back to the daycare. I asked her if she was going to cash that check. She said yes, its not her fault he cant come (um wth u said he was kicked out), which didnt matter because on the drive i decided to take him out myself. SOOO.......i called the bank and cancelled the check.

I figure its going to get very ugly because i told her to void the check and she matter-of-factly said NO. So now she'll be paying a fee herself if she cashes it. She also said we need to pay 2 more additional weeks afterwards (, no). Shesaid it was in a contract that i signed, and the only peice of paper i signed was a paper saying if he was hurt she can take him to the hospital. Either way im not paying.

She runs the daycare with cliqs btw, all the other moms are her friends and my wife and i are new to town, so the other moms are caddy b1tches to us.

What is your take?

What is your take on it?

[daycarediva]

I understand that your're angry, but I would ask to see a copy of your signed contract. If she is licensed, she would require a great deal of paperwork.

IF there are no refunds, and it is in her contract/handbook that you must pick up for crying (mine says inability to participate, inconsolable crying that is disruptive to the group). It also depends on what the contract says re: notice. Mine is required if I or the parent gives two weeks notice, regardless of if the child attends or not BUT I must allow the child to attend. I would refuse to pay for (and be justified in doing so) childcare that I was completely unable to use.

I would look into new care of course, and going forward be honest with your provider about the extreme separation anxiety. Has your child ever been in daycare before? Was this behavior new?

[Unregistered]

first reply

I told her that he had it, durring the trial run she said she would be able to handle him. After the trial run ended thats when she began calling. U

[Blackcat31]

So my 18 m/o son has a bit of seperation anxiety and cries when i leavehim at his daycare provider, a mom who watches 2 of her own kids and a few others. She is licensed. I pay every monday for that weeks childcare.

That being said, he was there for 1.5 months and maybe only one day of the week shewatched him all day, every single other time she would call me and say he is screaming too much and he needs picked up. I payed hundreds of dollars just to constantly take time frm work and almost get fired for points.

This monday, i drp him off along with the check, and she calls 5 min later andsays i need to pick him up. Im furious. I pick him up and bring him to his gmas to watch him for the rest of the week. Later that day she says he cant come back to the daycare. I asked her if she was going to cash that check. She said yes, its not her fault he cant come (um wth u said he was kicked out), which didnt matter because on the drive i decided to take him out myself. SOOO.......i called the bank and cancelled the check.

I figure its going to get very ugly because i told her to void the check and she matter-of-factly said NO. So now she'll be paying a fee herself if she cashes it. She also said we need to pay 2 more additional weeks afterwards (, no). Shesaid it was in a contract that i signed, and the only peice of paper i signed was a paper saying if he was hurt she can take him to the hospital. Either way im not paying.

She runs the daycare with cliqs btw, all the other moms are her friends and my wife and i are new to town, so the other moms are caddy b1tches to us.

What is your take?

What is your take on it?

Running her daycare with "cliques" really has nothing to do with your situation.

Issuing a check as payment and intentionally canceling it due to a disagreement in some states is illegal. It also gives the provider more legal avenues to collect than had you simply paid her and then sued her for the money back.

The proper protocol would have been to pay the fees agreed to according to the contract and then taking the provider to small claims court to recoup your money if you feel she had no right to keep/charge it.

Also just because the provider said she could handle your child doesn't mean she can. She probably felt it wasnt' anything she hadn't seen or dealt with before as separation anxiety is common for young kids, however your child could have been more of a handful than she imagined and although it may not have seemed professional, at least she did the right thing and asked you to come pick up your child verses keeping him in a situation that was obviously not okay for her or for your son.

I think you should contact the provider and try and work this out so that you are both happy so that you (or she) wont have to pursue this in the court systems.

I would take that step before she tries to cash your cancelled check.
I am not sure how it works in your area/state but I had a parent do that to me once. When the bank told me it had been cancelled, my next stop was the Sheriff's office.

They took the check and collected for me. The parent was also fined for issuing a bad check/fraud. It was only a petty misdemeanor but I imagine it was pretty embarrassing since the Sheriff showed up at her place of work with the check.

My thoughts on this whole thing was if you trusted her enough to care for your child (even for only a short time) you both should be adult enough to come to some sort of compromise so that legal action and the court system don't have to be brought into this.

[Thriftylady]

1. It really depends what your contract says. If you signed a contract, she has every right to stand behind it.

2. She has every right to term a child if that child is requiring so much care and attention that she can't properly give time and attention to other children. She may have thought at first it would be a short term thing, but then it got to the point she could no longer put the other kids on the back burner. If the roles were reversed and another child was requiring all the attention and yours were getting none, you wouldn't be happy with that either. YOU need to work with your child and your next provider very closely or this will happen again.

3. If I were your provider and in this situation, I would likely give you a refund if I termed only because I couldn't give the time your child needs. IF there were other factors in my termination I may or may not. It sounds as if the way your are describing things (with the "cliques" and all even though those have nothing to do with this case), that you were unhappy with the provider anyway. Really those things shouldn't matter, the care of your child is the only thing that really matters. If you were unhappy, you should have already given notice and moved on.

At the end of the day, no matter how hard we try some providers and children (or families) don't mesh to make a good arrangement. That doesn't have to be anyone's "fault" it is just how it is sometimes. I would contact the provider again in a professional manner. You can do it by letter or email if you wish. You can explain to her why you feel you shouldn't pay and hopefully you can come to an agreement. Be willing to compromise a little if need be, maybe she will go for half? At the end of the day it doesn't matter if she can't work with your child, it is in your child's best interest to try a new provider rearguards of money. Just make sure what you are doing with your child at home is not feeding into this. Many parents do things that make "separation anxiety" worse without meaning to. If you are co-sleeping, holding the child while the sleep or fall asleep, nursing or feeding the child to get them to go to sleep, holding the child all the time, etc those are things that a child care provider cannot do in group care. You will need to stop doing those things, or consider a nanny. If you are not doing those things and it still happens, I would see the doctor and ask for advice.

Keep in mind that no provider wants to term a paying family, this is how we pay our bills and feed our family. A week (or three if you include notice time) is really nothing money wise compared to a happy child and parents who are with us over several years.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Every provider has a different contract. Mine says that if I terminate services with out notice, I offer a refund of any money prepaid. What does your contract say?

It really sounds like it wasn't a good fit and honestly, if it had a been a month of continually having to go pick him up early everyday, I would have ended the arrangement far sooner. As a provider, I would not want to call and have a kid picked up everyday. I would just say it is not working out and parted ways after the trial. As a parent, if I was having to pick up early everyday, I would realize that the care is not working out, so it is time to find something new. What is the point of paying for daycare if you have to leave work everyday to pick up your kid?

As of right now, it all depends on what your contract says and what you signed on to. If it says she can terminate for any reason without refund, then you don't have much recourse, although I asking for two weeks on top of it when she won't provide service seems kind of odd to me. I would just pay for the week and call it a day and move on.

[Unregistered]

2nd reply

I agree with both statements, but i never signed a contract. And she is the one that terminated care without notice. If she raises a fuss then i know we'll have to go to small claims court. But we told her not to cash the check ahead of time so as far as that particular situation goes, we cant go back on the cancelled check.

[Thriftylady]

I agree with both statements, but i never signed a contract. And she is the one that terminated care without notice. If she raises a fuss then i know we'll have to go to small claims court. But we told her not to cash the check ahead of time so as far as that particular situation goes, we cant go back on the cancelled check.

What you told her to do or not do with the check has nothing to do with it. You wrote the check, you can't go back and stop payment now. What you can do is go to small claims to recoup the money if you think you are owed a refund. As far as not signing a contract, you don't really have to. If there was a verbal agreement, it is as good as any contract, it is just easier for everyone if it is in written form as it makes for less misunderstandings. A verbal contract will hold up in court.

[Unregistered]

reply 3

As far as ANY contracts go, there was no written one. Also, the only talk of an agreement verbally was how much we would pay a week. Nothing to do with termination of care, because i wouldnt have agreed to such a ludacris deal where she could cancel and i would have to pay for 2 weeks additionally. I pay attention to detail and read everything in a contract and we signed none, and i know a verbal one is just as good, but we didnt even do that. Just "hey you guys pay x amount every week""ok" that was it.

[Blackcat31]

As far as ANY contracts go, there was no written one. Also, the only talk of an agreement verbally was how much we would pay a week. Nothing to do with termination of care, because i wouldnt have agreed to such a ludacris deal where she could cancel and i would have to pay for 2 weeks additionally. I pay attention to detail and read everything in a contract and we signed none, and i know a verbal one is just as good, but we didnt even do that. Just "hey you guys pay x amount every week""ok" that was it.

Then I am confused. :confused:

If you feel you did everything you were suppose to do and the provider made it clear that your child is terminated, there is no contract, you owe nothing and there is no further issues between you and the provider then I am not understanding the point of this thread. :confused:

Find another provider and take what happened as a learning experience.

If you are looking for perspective from members here, most of us are child care providers so we are going to more than likely view things from the providers perspective.

Not that she was wrong in any of her actions as we are only hearing one side of the story but I guess I am wondering what it is you are seeking?

I would move on and find another provider that is a better fit for your son. Read any contract or agreement she may have and do your part as a parent so that she can do her part as a provider.

I am sorry you had a bad experience but I do wish you luck in your next child care experience.

[Play Care]

Then I am confused. :confused:

If you feel you did everything you were suppose to do and the provider made it clear that your child is terminated, there is no contract, you owe nothing and there is no further issues between you and the provider then I am not understanding the point of this thread. :confused:

Find another provider and take what happened as a learning experience.

If you are looking for perspective from members here, most of us are child care providers so we are going to more than likely view things from the providers perspective.

Not that she was wrong in any of her actions as we are only hearing one side of the story but I guess I am wondering what it is you are seeking?

I would move on and find another provider that is a better fit for your son. Read any contract or agreement she may have and do your part as a parent so that she can do her part as a provider.

I am sorry you had a bad experience but I do wish you luck in your next child care experience.

This.

[Thriftylady]

I agree with BC and with your next provider make sure you have a written contract AND a parent handbook. Those are pretty standard for the industry. It is also pretty standard to owe for a two week notice. As the provider to put in there what happens if the provider gives notice. Like I said if I was to term on JUST what you told us about the constant crying, I would likely give a refund. But if I had tried to work with you on it an you refused to help me with it, I may not. Like BC said, we are hearing one side of the story, but we all know how we as providers would deal with this. You had a verbal "understanding" that is a verbal contract. Just because you couldn't sign it doesn't matter. NEVER go into a business agreement without a meeting of the minds.

[Unregistered]

reply 4

I c ur points, i worked with her as far as a reward system and bringing comfort items from home to just saying bye and leaving and we were doing good until she just canned us. I worked with her and hold no sour grapes, i cant say the same for my wife tho as she is fuming. I have to handle it.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

It is too bad when things go bad like that If you had no contract and your verbal agreement was just about the weekly rate, I would just move on and try to find a more suitable daycare situation. If she comes back at you to recoup the money, consult an attorney and weigh your options at that point. Till then, move forward and best of luck to you in your childcare search!

[Thriftylady]

I agree at this point all you can do is learn from it. Some people are really good at their jobs, and not so much at the business end of things. Sounds like you had a provider like that. A contract and handbook protects both parties. I have had to explain that to some parents who are afraid of a contract, but as much as it says what you will do, it says what I will do. The handbook is the same way really. I never had them when my kids were in daycare, my youngest is 17 now. I wouldn't leave my kids anyplace without them now if I was in the position to need child care!