Not Allowed to Breastfeed at Daycare

[Former Teacher]

I have said this a million times.....

why is it the posters with the sassiest mouths are the ones that are unregistered? I think we should go to where everyone has to be registered. What about it Michael?

Anyway about breastfeeding. I agree that while breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, I don't agree with it being done at daycare in front of the children. It seems like this parent was trying to be accommodating and the provider didn't want to be.

On the flip side, at my former center, we had a father EVERYDAY spend his lunchtime with his baby. Of course he didn't feed her. He just wanted to hold her. We had to make sure she was either well rested or force her to stay up until after he left because he would come in and purposely wake her up. Funny thing is, he wouldn't play much with her. He just held her. He mainly talked with the staff. Disrupting? VERY since many times the other classrooms would hear him talk, laugh, just be loud. However we could not tell him he couldn't come in at nap time because TX law states that a parent has access to their child at ALL times. I suppose we could have told him to hold his child out on the porch. However, I would think that sounds kinda unprofessional considering he does have access to his child which also means his provider.

[Unregistered]

For what it is worth, I would certainly "allow" a mother to breast feed in my home as long as it didn't disrupt the daily routine I have with the children. I have a schedule and routine in place so things run smoothly and so the children in my care know what will be happening next, they know what to expect and what is expected of them. If there was a mother who breast fed, she would be part of the routine. Baby X's mommy comes in and takes him to the other room at whatever time, and that's just what happens everyday. If it started to be disruptive then changes would have to be made. I have yet to do infant care so this is all hypothetical and quite honestly I don't know how it would actually work out (I breast fed my daughter for 14 months and the only person she ever took a bottle from was me, and that was once, so completely useless and we just didn't spend too much time apart, I was lucky that way)

News flash lady. If any of my parents had the same attitude that you do and felt the need to tell me about it, I would tell them to take their $2.50 an hour (not including after hour and weekend duties that must be attended to) and go find some other ****er to take care of their kid. It actually makes me a little sick to my stomach to know that there are people out there that feel that way. Go see what you can get someone off the street to do for you for that much money an hour. We choose to do this job, but we are not indentured servants that need to bow down to the sanctimonious attitudes of parents like newsflash.

Okay, I feel better now.

If I was paying $2.50 an hour I wouldn't have any attitude. We are paying $7.50 an hour, as thats the going rate for a center in our area (in home starts at $10/hr). We registered for the waiting list at this center a month before we even got pregnant, and the spot didn't open until my baby was seven months old. I am in a very different environment than most of you in regards to daycare services. The current wait list at our daycare has 10+ kids on it all the time, and as a result, the employees do not care about me or my child anymore than they have to by law. I apologize if I offended anyone with my previous comment. I admit to being heated over reading some of the responses from providers about this topic. My point was only that, when a family pays $1500/mo for daycare for a single child, I do not feel that its too much to ask for my own child to be breastfed on the patio everyday at a time thats convenient for me.

[Chickenhauler]

Wow...I wish my employer paid me to clean my house, cook my dinner, and fold my laundry while I was on his dime.

News flash, you're an in house daycare provider that chooses to do everything yourself to maximize profits. You do not get your two 15 minute breaks if the needs of the children do not allow it. The mother thinks its best for the baby to come in and feed at noon and offers to do it OUTSIDE of the house? She's paying you to care for the child when she is unavailable. Who are you to say what a mother can and can't do with her own child....especially when she's paying you.

Here's the kicker-don't like the rules? LEAVE. Go elsewhere.

Who are you to demand that a private business owner make special arrangements to meet your choices? It's a free society, the business owner makes the rules, and if the customer does not like those rules, they are free to take their business elsewhere.

Pssst-for the BS, rigamarole, expense, risk, hard work, and headaches of operating a legal, complaint, safe daycare in one's home, the income ****s.

For us, it isn't about the money, it's about the wife being able to stay home with our kids, as I think you will find that most in home daycare providers agree. If they didn't have kids at home, most of them wouldn't open their homes like they do. If you don't believe so, go in search of an in-home daycare where the family has no kids of their own.

That dinner the provider is cooking? Some of it's going to feed your kid.
That cleaning the provider is doing? Yeah, your kid was part of the mess.
That laundry? You guessed it, your kid benefits from having clean towels, linens and blankets on hand.

[Unregistered]

If I was paying $2.50 an hour I wouldn't have any attitude. We are paying $7.50 an hour, as thats the going rate for a center in our area (in home starts at $10/hr). We registered for the waiting list at this center a month before we even got pregnant, and the spot didn't open until my baby was seven months old. I am in a very different environment than most of you in regards to daycare services. The current wait list at our daycare has 10+ kids on it all the time, and as a result, the employees do not care about me or my child anymore than they have to by law. I apologize if I offended anyone with my previous comment. I admit to being heated over reading some of the responses from providers about this topic. My point was only that, when a family pays $1500/mo for daycare for a single child, I do not feel that its too much to ask for my own child to be breastfed on the patio everyday at a time thats convenient for me.

$1500/mo is what I would get for 3 full time children, before food/supply costs. It sounds like most of the providers on the board live in areas where that sort of price range for one child is not even on the radar. If we take state pays so we don't get paid until way after the service is provided, sometimes have to chase parents down for their co-pays, and it just basically ends up being an out of pocket expense for us and hopefully we'll get it paid back.
I was offended by your comments because the other providers I know DO NOT do it for the money, we would have to be raving lunatics if we did. We try and do what is best for the children in our care and that includes loving them. The thought of a parent trying to tell us to **** it up and do what they tell us to do, whether we like it or not, in our own homes is going to raise some hackles.
Part of the reason I don't work in a center anymore is because trying to wrangle 12-15 children by myself didn't leave a lot of room for being a caring, loving person. Nope, just an angry, stressed out control freak who wasn't doing anyone any good.
Sooo, in my own home I do it how I want to do it with only 5 children, while my own darling daughter is at school. I love seeing the results of the work I do but I put a lot of work and money into it.
I think a lot of the other providers here would echo with similar comments. Please keep that in mind when you post. We seem to be a sensitive bunch.

[SimpleMom]

I agree it was completely unprofessional and should be illegal to not allow a mother to breast feed their child. It's different than pumping that milk into a bottle. The baby loves the nuture of a mother's touch and moms as well. It's such a very close relationship when there is breastfeeding going on and essential to keep that up if at all possible.

I believe it should be a mother's right as a stay at home mom or a working mom to breast feed her child. It saddens me to hear so much controversy on the issue.

I am a provider and a mother and I did breastfeed one child and bottlefed the other. There's a difference. Staying at home is not always a choice. Breastfeeding is one of the most nutritious and comforting things for a baby and a baby and mother should never be denied the opportunity.

The daycare routine will need to adjust and become a new routine is all.
Just my two cents...

[ConcernedMotherof2]

(sigh)...

Running an in-home daycare is HARD. Depending on the area you live in and the licensing standards, a home may have to be kept IMPOSSIBLY clean and open to inspection at ANY time. Having been a stay at home mom with two babies in diapers, I know how hard it was to maintain a routine and a clean home and I can't imagine what it would have been like to add more children to the scenario. When my kids were infants and in an in-home daycare, it was a very personal experience and the provider and I worked together a lot... yes, I was very lucky to have found such a great provider at the time.

Every child is different, so the mere addition of a child to a daycare is going to disrupt the routine a little each time. Infants' schedules change daily, as was stated before, and this is something that has to be dealt with. I think the issue has more to do with differing opinions on the parent/provider's part. The parent here was right in seeking other care. As to the money lost, well, I've lost hundreds (literally) of dollars for similar circumstances, having to pull my kids from one daycare or another for various reasons. It happens, unfortunately, and I'm not one to sue. That's personal choice.

As far as breastfeeding, I applaud the mother in trying to maintain this with her child even though she has to return to work. I nursed my youngest for 18 months (yes, in front of my older child) and did everything from going to daycare on my lunches/breaks to pumping all day and providing milk (along with a haberman feeder, as opposed to a bottle because she wouldn't take a bottle). As with any issue involving leaving an infant in daycare, this requires work and communication on the part of both parent and provider. It sounds like this particular parent was willing to do anything she could to accomodate the provider's wishes while doing what she believed was best for her baby. Hopefully she will find the right situation for her baby so that she can continue to be the stellar parent that she is (working full time and still maintaining as much contact as she can with her child).

[mac60]

After reading, and re-reading these post over and over, I still stand with some others here, that I could not agree to a mom coming in everyday to breastfeed. Sorry, but they are not going to sit on my patio and do it as the kids would stand on the other side of the glass and watch, what happens the first time it rains, too hot, too cold. Not going to sit in my living room or kitchen either, as there is no way for me to keep the other dc kids from hanging at the doorway, and not going to my bedroom, as that is my private space, and not going to sit in my driveway. You say sitting in the driveway is not going to disrupt, you still have to come in and get the baby, bring the baby back in, etc.

I still say there are ways to work this out, for starters pump the milk and bring it in. Then breastfeed in the mornings before coming and in the late afternoons and evenings when home. Funny the providers here are being told they are not willing to work with the mom, yet I don't see the parents willing to work with the provider either, it is kind of like my way or no way from the parents.

And the issue of the money got lost in this thread. I am not so sure that I would of given the money back either. As it was the parents choice to leave. I am sure the provider had "saved" a spot for the newborn for some time, losing money in saving the spot, and after saving this spot, the parents pulled the infant. Not only that, the provider lost the other child. I agree with the provider in not returning the money, as it was 100% the parents choice to leave, as they choose not to make this situation work, and are trying to blame it on the provider. Unfortuanately one of the things of being a working mom is compromise, which in my opinion, it doesn't sound like the mom was willing to do.

[Unregistered]

Legal rights

It states that a mother can breastfeed her baby anywhere she is. This means if she is at the daycare by law she can breastfeed her child. So everyone can have your opinion but the law is in mom's favor not your daycare policy.

[Blackcat31]

It states that a mother can breastfeed her baby anywhere she is. This means if she is at the daycare by law she can breastfeed her child. So everyone can have your opinion but the law is in mom's favor not your daycare policy.

This is an old thread. (2009)

The law does not apply to all private in home family child care facilities.

In some cases, the law does not clearly address private places (such as family daycare) or has an exclusion and/or does not have wording that is applicable to individual situations.

Each state has it's own interpretation of the law.

http://www.ncsl.org/research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx

[Leigh]

It states that a mother can breastfeed her baby anywhere she is. This means if she is at the daycare by law she can breastfeed her child. So everyone can have your opinion but the law is in mom's favor not your daycare policy.

She can breastfeed anywhere she and the child have a legal right to be. A parent does not have a legal right to show up at my home at naptime and disrupt my kids' day by breastfeeding in my daycare room. A parent DOES have legal access to their child at any time. A parent can take that child and leave. If a provider has a policy about having a child dropped off one time per day, that's perfectly legal. My policy is if a parent shows up, they need to take their child with them and leave. I do not have to let a parent stay on my premises for an extended period of time.

I'm very supportive of a mom's right to breastfeed, but not of a parent hanging around my home in the middle of the day. I do not have an area for parents to BF away from the other children, and having a parent visit makes ALL of the kids act up. Having a parent show up and then leave makes their own child sad/angry/lose their dang mind.

My feeling is that a baby NEEDS to be able to take breastmilk from a BOTTLE at my home. Having a parent show up to BF trains that child to refuse the bottle until mom shows up. When mom tires of driving to daycare to feed, then I am stuck trying to get a BF baby to take a bottle from me.

I understand, as a mother, why someone would want to drop in at daycare to BF. As a provider, I don't allow it for the reasons listed above. And, I don't have to allow it.

[Second Home]

I don't have the regs handy right now .

But in MD we must allow a mother to breastfeed during daycare hours if they want to , we also must provide a place ( with privacy)for this to be done as well as access to running water .

Now if a mom shows up at closing then she does not have the right to stay and breastfeed after daycare hours .

[Thriftylady]

I don't have the regs handy right now .

But in MD we must allow a mother to breastfeed during daycare hours if they want to , we also must provide a place ( with privacy)for this to be done as well as access to running water .

Now if a mom shows up at closing then she does not have the right to stay and breastfeed after daycare hours .

That would keep me from taking infants. I assume there are precious few infant spots due to that.

[Second Home]

There are already few spots for infants . I had calls looking for care when the baby isn't even due for 6 months , another looking for care starting in Feb . And I see so many posts about people needing infant care .

I had thought about not accepting infants anymore but then I would have no clients or loose ones I have when a sibling comes along . So until it becomes an issue I will take infants
.