A Question - Most of You Feel Parents Are a Pain in the Backside

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  • renodeb
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 837

    #46
    Originally posted by Unregistered
    Here's the thing though. It doesn't sound like it's exceptions. It comes across as every parent, every child, every day. And if it comes across like that to me, odds are that it does to childcare parents, or prospective childcare parents, as well. Nobody ever starts a thread with, "I love this job, I'm so glad I chose it; however, there is this one family/child/situation I have an issue with." It's always, "parents do this;children do that; nobody ever listens when I say this, that, or the other."
    You may not see it because you have been in this business for so long. We tend to overlook things that are either not useful, or downright painful for us to face. But trust me when I say that this whole forum comes across as incredibly unkind and uncharitable to both daycare parents and daycare children alike.
    Then don't keep posting and hanging around on this forum. It sounds like you have a lot of spare time on your hands. You can't tell me that your the perfect person and nothing ever bothers you! I do love my job but there are still things that bug me. There are in any job I'm sure.

    Comment

    • Meeko
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Mar 2011
      • 4351

      #47
      I dare the OP to visit any 'water cooler/break room/lunch room" anywhere...in any state...doing any business....and find one where everyone only spews happy thoughts and tells their co-workers what a wonderful place they work in and how nothing is ever wrong. How they have perfect clients and perfect bosses and that life is rainbows and unicorns....because they "love their job"

      This is our water cooler. These are our co-workers. We're normal. We vent. We STILL love our jobs!

      I recently lost a baby in my care to SIDS. One of the worst times of my life. I have been a provider for 30 years. The police, licensing department and the parents of the child say I did everything right and it couldn't have been stopped. I am still grieving.

      I am crying right now, because the OP has no idea what great people are on this forum. I received SO MUCH SUPPORT it was over-whelming. The providers here have made a HUGE DIFFERENCE in my life....from a good vent, to a good laugh.....to support during a nightmare.

      Please don't accuse the providers on here as being anything but supportive and professional.

      I happen to love them all dearly.

      OP...you don't know the folks on here and obviously do not want to.

      Your loss.

      Comment

      • Silly Songs
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jun 2014
        • 705

        #48
        [INDENT[/INDENT
        Meeko, please don't let some anonymous person hurt you. Trust me, this person is not interested in hearing the good , they just want to complain about what they conclude from reading a little. Take the way the parents of the precious child think of you ! They adore you and know how much you care about the children. Someone who doesn't like children/parents isn't going to last long in childcare. Most of the providers on here really do care about the families and especially the children. How many have talked about giving discounts , giving some families their own children's clothing , cried over children leaving their program? That is the true heart of most of the providers on here. And we all know that even if we sometimes complain and have a rough day, you go back and do it all over again. Because you guys all care. I'm crying for you right now :hug:

        Comment

        • mom2many
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jun 2011
          • 1278

          #49
          I just read this thread and have to put in my 2 cents.... I've been a provider for almost 30 years and discovered this forum after years of feeling alone and trying to muddle my way through running a daycare in my home. Unfortunately I learned a lot of things the hard way through trial and error. It would have been awesome to come on this forum with questions and concerns, to get input from others on how they'd handle a situation.

          I think the OP was way off base in her interpretation of this forum. Yes, I agree their are some negative posts that express frustration or vent about issues with parents or children in their care...but this doesn't mean we don't love what we do. I couldn't have stayed in this profession this many years if I didn't find it both rewarding and enjoyable...but that doesn't mean I haven't had my share of issues with disrespectful parents or a child's behavior from time to time that make me grumble or complain! Experience has enabled me to stay clear of most difficulties, so I rarely have them now.


          As others stated, running a home daycare is so much different than being an employee in a center. You only see one aspect of this job.

          Comment

          • Thriftylady
            Daycare.com Member
            • Aug 2014
            • 5884

            #50
            Can't believe this thread keeps coming back . But the OP is obviously only paying attention to the "negative" things he or she speaks of because I do see positive things. Heck over the summer I posted two or three times about my DCB who was staying with his grandmother who was the BEST client I have ever had. I hated to see him go home to mom in another state. He was SA, so hard to keep busy and entertained but not a bad kiddo and grandma was awesome! If the OP wanted to he/she can find plenty of good posts. Meeko don't let some Debbie Downer drag you down.

            Comment

            • Unregistered

              #51
              In-Home Daycare Provider, Midlothian, VA

              Originally posted by Unregistered
              Hello,

              Disclaimer right off the bat: I mean not offense to anyone in particular. I'm just puzzled and confused in general.
              Reading on these message boards, the main thing I derive from the threads is that most of you feel parents are a pain in the backside; kids are difficult, snotty, snooty, spoiled, or annoying; things would be so much better if parents just gave up their own silly ideas and followed your rules and guidelines; and generally, running a home daycare is just one small step short of the seventh circle of hell.

              Is it really that bad? I'm not a troll; I am actually a fairly long-time member studying to get my ECE diploma right now, and this is truly not an attempt to cause trouble. I'm just really not prepared to deal with the anger and the resentment that will undoubtedly follow, and I am really, genuinely puzzled. I got into the ECE field because I absolutely adore children (and before you bring on the "Oh, you must be so young; we'll talk to you in a year," card, I'm in my 40s and I have three young children of my own, 9, newly 7, and 3). I realized when I started doing field placements that all parents - well, most parents do their utmost for their children with the often limited knowledge and - resources they have at their disposal. I figured, since I'm not all that special, that most ECEs/ECE students/professional childcare providers feel the same way.

              But then on this forum, all I ever see is complaining. Snarky comments about daycare parents. Derogatory statements about daycare parents' parenting ideas. Long, elaborate descriptions of terribly behaved young children. It's all so, so, so negative that it saddens me. Come on. It can't be all bad. If this whole deal stinks so bad, why are you here? Why are you still doing this? Why are you not a greeter at Walmart, an employee at Subway, an up-and-coming actress?
              Unless it's a misery-loves-company thing.

              So talk to me. Help me understand, because I don't want to end up jaded and cynical and impatient with tiny humans who need our assistance while they are attempting to make sense of this world.
              Let me start by saying, I would do anything in order to be here with my 2 children. Fortunately for me, I love children and don't mind caring for them. Being the eldest of five, it comes quite naturally and it doesn't hurt that I am blessed with patience. Above all else, I'm grateful for my work - it has afforded me the greatest fringe benefit; the ability to watch, care, teach, and love on my babies every single day of their lives.

              I look at parents as my boss - so I have several. As with any boss, they have their days; some more than others but you know come payday, you will get a check, for the agreed upon rate plus any overtime they may have needed/caused. This is where some parents become fools. Whether they conveniently forget, "Oh, I don't have my checkbook", and you have to ask, beg or track em down or they have no money; they are worthy of their paycheck but I am not or they don't want to pay what they own. They may have forgotten Wednesday evening, when I had dinner plans, and they show up 3 hours late , smelling of alcohol. Or that they imposed for just an hour on Sunday and returned 6 hours later but, I remember! The "oh, okay, I'll catch you ...never" routine get old as does, "or you never made me pay extra before!". I'm not an aggressive person. and forgive me but, I get an overwhelming desire to deck them. Not just for the money. Not because they lie or think I'm stupid but for taking advantage of me. It is always the same parent(s). You'd like to quit but by this time, you've fallen in love with the child(ren) and they know this. I excuse their behavior and of course, the abuse escalates.

              Weekly pay struggles seem petty when compared to getting paid holidays, sick days, personal leave, and vacation pay. It's the same dance and routine only they want to deck me -! My rates are a little lower than the average at $125/week for full-time. That includes 10 paid federal holidays, and sick/personal time when and if taken by the parent and they keep their child home. I do not take vacations for extended periods so I collect my one week paid vacation pay when they go on their first. When they wine about it, I offer them a beer and the $30/day pay as you go plan - I have to , then pee my pants!!

              I can only speak for myself when I say, I'd much rather deal with 5 children regardless of their health, flip lips or temper tantums than 1 parent who places little value in what I do.

              You might to read, "Why We Work" by Barry Schwartz, it's a great book and may shed lite on your questions. Walmart has those horrible blue shirts and there are so many parents there.

              Comment

              • Jazzii
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jan 2016
                • 75

                #52
                I think that with most things, there is always more spark when something bad happens versus when something good happens. I love that in my field I am able to see my parents everyday however parents are people and we do butt heads.

                At the end of the day everyone is looking out for the child and looking through different lenses. When I spend 8-10 hours daily with your child and notice something only to be fought tooth and nail it's frustrating.

                Comment

                • SnowGirl
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Jan 2016
                  • 131

                  #53
                  Hahaha, I know this thread is old but I just want to say (suggest):

                  If it's an "unregistered" poster who states "I'm not a troll, but..."...they ARE trolls, or highly ignorant, and not worth our limited time.

                  I love this forum, I love the community.

                  I've been a prek teacher before this, and a marketing exec at a software firm, and a line cook at a restaurant. Everyone complains. Human nature! We still love our kids!

                  I mean, sheesh, just read mommy blogs and try to troll parents about all the complaining they do about their kids!

                  Comment

                  • SnowGirl
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jan 2016
                    • 131

                    #54
                    I should add that I am also a mommy blogger, so it's not like I'm talking out of my butt with that comment ::

                    Comment

                    • renodeb
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2011
                      • 837

                      #55
                      To be honest, I vent a lot but I don't see what is so wrong with that. I do love my job but there are a lot of things about this job that are hard, stressful, frustrating, puzzling, and plain bewildering. I never use names or places when I ask for advice about a certain situation or person. If we can't vent about this job somewhere then we carry it around all bottled up. (not good). I have great clients and kids, don't get me wrong.
                      Deb

                      Comment

                      • Thriftylady
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Aug 2014
                        • 5884

                        #56
                        Originally posted by renodeb
                        To be honest, I vent a lot but I don't see what is so wrong with that. I do love my job but there are a lot of things about this job that are hard, stressful, frustrating, puzzling, and plain bewildering. I never use names or places when I ask for advice about a certain situation or person. If we can't vent about this job somewhere then we carry it around all bottled up. (not good). I have great clients and kids, don't get me wrong.
                        Deb
                        Not only that, but many times when I vent, I am open to suggestions on how others have solved the issue I am having. if I can find a good solution, I think that is better than letting something simmer.

                        Comment

                        • Cat Herder
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 13744

                          #57
                          Maybe we do use this site as a water cooler for shut-ins. ::::::

                          I think many would be shocked to hear a conversation in the break room of public schools.

                          I love reading the vents about daycare providers on mommy boards. It makes me a better provider. lovethis Hope it works in reverse for them here.
                          - Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.

                          Comment

                          • Annalee
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Jul 2012
                            • 5864

                            #58
                            Originally posted by Cat Herder
                            Maybe we do use this site as a water cooler for shut-ins. ::::::

                            I think many would be shocked to hear a conversation in the break room of public schools.

                            I love reading the vents about daycare providers on mommy boards. It makes me a better provider. lovethis Hope it works in reverse for them here.
                            You are killing me, Cat Herder:: Your posts this week have made me smile.....love your "sarcasm".

                            Comment

                            • lovemykidstoo
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Aug 2012
                              • 4740

                              #59
                              Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
                              I just re-read the original post.

                              The line "why don't you be walmart greeters or work at a subway....." is SUPER insulting, and honestly, the most negative comment I've seen in a long time.
                              I couldn't agree more! As if either of those jobs is beneath anyone. I think that any job someone does is to be respected. I have said many times that I could not work at Subway to my family when I go there. That is a hard job to remember what goes on every sub there. Seriously!

                              Comment

                              • Mad_Pistachio
                                Daycare.com Member
                                • Jun 2015
                                • 621

                                #60
                                Most of You Feel Parents Are a Pain in the Backside
                                *in defence of the providers*
                                because we ARE a pain in the backside! gosh... I mean, take one parent who demands some special treament for a special Snowflake (she likes THIS blankie, and her broccoli cut/served THIS way, and she hates to be told "no," and she sleeps whenever she sleeps, who cares when your nap time is... and so on, and so forth), and then multiply this by the number of children in a group - what, 6-12? - and you got a bunch of hens quacking about their special Snowflakes. then add the parents who want to plop a child in the daycare every day, including Sunday (I know some work Saturdays - and I have no idea how they survive), sick and without an extra diaper or change of clothes... and throw in the ones coming to pick up way too late, not giving a single thought that a provider has a life and needs to clean up after their children...
                                yes, we ARE a pain in the backside.
                                you have no idea how enlightening this forum has been for me. some things were, like, "oh, wow, I had no idea that was even an issue!" - which made me, in turn, change a few of my habits. it is beneficial to see the other side of the story, uncomfortable as it may be.

                                but guess what? we all are pain in other people's tails. one drive down the freeway will give you a few nice examples.

                                oh, by the way, while I am at it. my DC director's relative
                                (not sure which one or from which side) just died from cancer, but I did not find out from her (someone just gossipped about that... gross, I know, but I can't UNhear it). do I need to send a card or say something? or will I look like I am spreading that gossip? on one hand, I want to speak up, and on the other, I want to stay out of what's not my business...

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