A Question - Most of You Feel Parents Are a Pain in the Backside

[spedmommy4]

I think we've been had. ::

When my son was a teen (he told me this years later when the statue of limitations had run out : that he used to go on forums and try to get people upset for his amusement. He turned out to be an upstanding citizen though.

Laurel

Lol. I could actually see my 16 year old doing this.

[Blackcat31]

If you really believe that, you are so misguided it's not even funny.

I didn't say it wasnt important to them. :confused:
I said daycare is only part of a family's bigger picture. Its not who they are.

Daycare families dont go about their evenings/weekends thinking about their provider.

Yet a majority of providers spend a large portion of their off hours thinking about and taking care of daycare. Putting things away and cleaning up from one day while simultaneously preparing and planning for the next. The lists are endless.

Daycare families pick their kids up at the end of the day and probably don't think about daycare again until they need to drop their child back off again on Monday

.....but its not the same for providers....They are ususally consumed with anything daycare related 24/7 whether or not they are open or off.

Daycare clients dont do that.
They are not consumed with all things daycare all the time.

That was the point I was trying to make which you obviously misinterpreted.

ANOTHER example of different perceptions.

[daycare]

I didn't say it wasnt important to them. :confused:
I said daycare is only part of a family's bigger picture. Its not who they are.

Daycare families dont go about their evenings/weekends thinking about their provider.

Yet a majority of providers spend a large portion of their off hours thinking about and taking care of daycare. Putting things away and cleaning up from one day while simultaneously preparing and planning for the next. The lists are endless.

Daycare families pick their kids up at the end of the day and probably don't think about daycare again until they need to drop their child back off again on Monday

.....but its not the same for providers....They are ususally consumed with anything daycare related 24/7 whether or not they are open or off.

Daycare clients dont do that.
They are not consumed with all things daycare all the time.

That was the point I was trying to make which you obviously misinterpreted.

ANOTHER example of different perceptions.

This is so true.

It's kind of hard not to think about my daycare kids and families when my entire house excluding bedrooms is daycare.

Or when I'm grocery shopping on Sunday for their meals

Or painting over all the finger prints on Saturday from all of our fun.

We are assumed by our business. I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it. But don't compare it when you haven't lived it.

[Laurel]

Lol. I could actually see my 16 year old doing this.

The only thing I remember doing that was similar as a preteen/teen is making prank calls to people. A group of us girls would sometimes do it at slumber parties.

Way back then there used to be chewing tobacco in a can called Prince Albert. We would call and ask a drug store if they had Prince Albert in a can. When they would say yes we would say "Would you please let him out?" Then there was the one that would go "Is your refrigerator running?" "Yes? Well than you'd better go catch it."

What a bunch of nerds we were! ::

Laurel

[Unregistered]

I completely 100% agree with OP. You all sound self righteous.
"This parent is lazy because they don't sleep train".
"Can you believe these parents going on vacation without their child?!"
"Day off work and child is still at daycare?"
"Parent is lazy because of A,B, or C".

You all seem to feel pretty entitled to judge what these parents (who are paying your bills, mind you) do. Who cares if they had a day off work & they're child is in daycare? Your still getting paid it's really NONE of your business. You all must really have a sad, lonely life if you spend your free time on a forum constantly COMPLAINING about your job. (Which you are an expert at of course because you always know more than those "annoying parents")

Truly i feel terrible for all of you and your sad existence.

[spedmommy4]

I completely 100% agree with OP. You all sound self righteous.
"This parent is lazy because they don't sleep train".
"Can you believe these parents going on vacation without their child?!"
"Day off work and child is still at daycare?"
"Parent is lazy because of A,B, or C".

You all seem to feel pretty entitled to judge what these parents (who are paying your bills, mind you) do. Who cares if they had a day off work & they're child is in daycare? Your still getting paid it's really NONE of your business. You all must really have a sad, lonely life if you spend your free time on a forum constantly COMPLAINING about your job. (Which you are an expert at of course because you always know more than those "annoying parents")

Truly i feel terrible for all of you and your sad existence.

Go back and read your statements in parentheses again. Seriously, be happy if your childcare provider cares about the first three things. It means they care about YOUR child. You should be worried if they don't.

I'll give you an example from my setting. I have a little boy enrolled. He's here 50 hours a week. He's the first one here and the last to leave. Kids start leaving at 4 pm. Every time there is a knock on the door, he runs to the door and says "mommy, mommy!" But he is never the first one to be picked up. I feel bummed out with him. His mom does get off early sometimes but never picks up early.

Personally, I could care less if a parent uses every minute of time they pay for. It doesn't affect me. However, it really bothers me to see a child so upset. They have fun at school but they love their parents. If I'm venting, it's because I care about the kids I teach.

[Indoorvoice]

There is no rule on this forum saying we as providers can't complain here. I sometimes come here to complain because I need to get things off my chest and find advice about how to handle situations that arise professionally without hurting the rapport I have with my families. This is a safe place to do it because most of us remain nameless and faceless and it ends up hurting no one. The only reason I can think of why someone would come to a forum specifically for daycare providers and complain about daycare providers complaining is because they are repeat offenders of the things we are talking about. If there is another logical, helpful reason, please feel free to enlighten me respectfully. If you don't like what you read here, and you don't have any advice to help us through what we are going through, then I'm sure there are lots of other forums on the vast Internet where you can bash your daycare providers. I've had many parents and providers alike on this forum offer me different views and opinions on things I complain about without being disrespectful and I welcome that! Sometimes I need to hear a different way of thinking about something. But complaining to daycare providers about our complaints, is just pointless. Why can't we complain? Who is it hurting?

[happymom]

I just want to jump in, I'm pretty new to the forum and not particularly active. I've had my son in child care for 3 years and that's about all the experience with it I have had.

I believe parents should be respectful to the people who are caring for their children and do their best to make care providers job as easy as possible with an open line of communication. It's important for the care provider to pick out families with care and draw lines when it comes to contracts and late fees and tolorating unwanted behavior (from both parents and their children).

I don't see this as one big huge b*tch-fest. Even as someone who is not in the profession of being a child care provider, I find some of the vents entertaining to read and the solutions helpful to me as a parent. I do see the occasional recommendation for someone to term a dck or family that seems a bit harsh, but heck, it's just advice. It's YOUR business, you run it the way you need to (within reason of course --keep the kids safe).

[Blackcat31]

Looks like some one needs a hug....

I completely 100% agree with OP. You all sound self righteous.
"This parent is lazy because they don't sleep train".
"Can you believe these parents going on vacation without their child?!"
"Day off work and child is still at daycare?"
"Parent is lazy because of A,B, or C".

You all seem to feel pretty entitled to judge what these parents (who are paying your bills, mind you) do. Who cares if they had a day off work & they're child is in daycare? Your still getting paid it's really NONE of your business. You all must really have a sad, lonely life if you spend your free time on a forum constantly COMPLAINING about your job. (Which you are an expert at of course because you always know more than those "annoying parents")

Truly i feel terrible for all of you and your sad existence.

[spedmommy4]

Lol BC. I always enjoy your posts. :-)

[Unregistered]

The only reason I can think of why someone would come to a forum specifically for daycare providers and complain about daycare providers complaining is because they are repeat offenders of the things we are talking about.

I came here because I am going back to work & my child will be starting daycare soon and I am completely disgusted with all of the judgmental, negative comments.

You guys do realize you are in the service industry right? You guys even get to pick your "customers" but yet here you are complaining and nitpicking at every little thing that is not done EXACTLY how you would do it. I get it your house your rules but you have no right to judge or make any comments about your "customers" personal parenting choices unless their child is in danger.

The things I have seen posted in here are outright rude.
You may think you are doing these "annoying parents" a favor by watching their children so they can work (or not work if they so please) but they are paying your bills & you should show the same respect you would like to receive.

[spedmommy4]

I came here because I am going back to work & my child will be starting daycare soon and I am completely disgusted with all of the judgmental, negative comments.

You guys do realize you are in the service industry right? You guys even get to pick your "customers" but yet here you are complaining and nitpicking at every little thing that is not done EXACTLY how you would do it. I get it your house your rules but you have no right to judge or make any comments about your "customers" personal parenting choices unless their child is in danger.

The things I have seen posted in here are outright rude.
You may think you are doing these "annoying parents" a favor by watching their children so they can work (or not work if they so please) but they are paying your bills & you should show the same respect you would like to receive.

On either side of this fence, it's really easy to get caught up in your own perspective. I have 4 kids of my own. All 4 have been in childcare, preschool, and after school care. To be honest, I really didn't get it until I did this job either.

Let's get real about a few things to start with . . . Everyone has things about their job they don't like. I have friends that are physicians assistants, nurses, etc. All love their job and all could still tell some wild stories about things they've seen and patients that have made their jobs stressful.

I work 80 hours a week. That's a long week, even when everything is going great. So when I have parents who forgets to pay or forgets to tell me that junior wearing underwear, and I end up with a mess on my carpet, I do get a little grumpy. I imagine you would too. I enjoy teaching preschool, and love working with the kiddos.
Most of us do. It's why we got into the profession.

Don't let the venting color your perspective on the profession. Working with groups of little people is a tough but rewarding profession. We all need to vent sometimes.

[Josiegirl]

I always find it ironic that the ones who are being honest and real, come with a name. The ones who are being self-righteous, mean, judgmental, are the ones that hide behind unregistered. ::

And BC, that was really cute.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I came here because I am going back to work & my child will be starting daycare soon and I am completely disgusted with all of the judgmental, negative comments.

You guys do realize you are in the service industry right? You guys even get to pick your "customers" but yet here you are complaining and nitpicking at every little thing that is not done EXACTLY how you would do it. I get it your house your rules but you have no right to judge or make any comments about your "customers" personal parenting choices unless their child is in danger.

The things I have seen posted in here are outright rude.
You may think you are doing these "annoying parents" a favor by watching their children so they can work (or not work if they so please) but they are paying your bills & you should show the same respect you would like to receive.

Maybe a board for parents with kids in daycare would be a better fit for you. Then you can vent about your provider and ask other parents for their experience with daycare and advice on how to handle daycare situations. I am sure all of the parents will only say nice things about their daycare and their provider. They probably never complain and ask why they still have to pay when their kid is out sick, ect.

This forum is mostly providers and many of them are parents and so the discussion tend to be about our jobs and out families. If they are not always pretty, then so be it, but at least they are real conversations with real perspectives and I have really loved being a part of it. Daycare can be a lonely job when you are the only adult surrounded by kid, so this forum is like having a friend at your fingertips.

[Indoorvoice]

I came here because I am going back to work & my child will be starting daycare soon and I am completely disgusted with all of the judgmental, negative comments.

You guys do realize you are in the service industry right? You guys even get to pick your "customers" but yet here you are complaining and nitpicking at every little thing that is not done EXACTLY how you would do it. I get it your house your rules but you have no right to judge or make any comments about your "customers" personal parenting choices unless their child is in danger.

The things I have seen posted in here are outright rude.
You may think you are doing these "annoying parents" a favor by watching their children so they can work (or not work if they so please) but they are paying your bills & you should show the same respect you would like to receive.

What do you suggest? If you want daycare providers to just bend over backwards and succumb to every wish of every parent, then there won't be many good providers left for you to choose from.

All service industry employees complain about customers. I see blogs and posts all the time of waitresses complaining. Do you feel disgusted by these complaints too? Or is it just daycare providers who rub you the wrong the way? It is my experience that people feel we should take what we can get and get treated however people want to treat us because we are supposed to be "doing it for the kids" but no other business runs like this. Not successfully anyway. I'm just wondering your thoughts on this.

Also, you say that we have no right to judge parenting choices, but we are often watching people's children for more hours a day than their parents have them. Those parenting choices directly affect our business, our lives, and the other children we care for. Respectful parents realize this and help us work as a team so everyone benefits. Disrespectful parents view themselves as customers and expect everyone's well-being to be put on hold for their own agenda because they're paying. I urge you to look at other child care solutions if you relate with the latter, because I don't think you will be happy with a group care provider.

You're right that respect is a 2 way street. Just because you see some providers complaining here, does not mean we don't respect our clients. We are just venting like any other employee at any other job because it's common that we are not receiving the same respect you are requesting. Just because you pay for something, does not give you the right to run someone else's business anyway you please, and that is what we are running into.

I started reading this forum when my own dd was in daycare. I found the complaints from providers helpful because I didn't realize some of the things I was doing were not great. I may have felt a little defensive, but sometimes you have to put your feelings aside for the good of the people who are caring for your most precious gift. I hope if you stay here that you can see ourour perspective - that we aren't here complaining to hurt our daycare families, but because sometimes we just need to vent. If you can't see that perspective, then I hope you can find a forum better suited for you. No need to come here and tell us not to complain when this is a support system we obviously need.